Inappropriate Question at Open Home?

Just completed our usual weekend round of house viewings. Not much luck in terms of finding a reasonably priced property, but nevertheless we persist.

Most our interactions with the real estate agents hosting the house viewings have been relatively positive. Understandably some are more curt than others especially when there's 20 other buyers viewing the property.

However, an interaction this morning left me quite shocked. We were asking the agent regarding the usual details of the property, build age, rental rate etc. When we asked why the owner was selling, the agent said "Frankly it's inappropriate to ask this during a home open and why the owner is selling is none of your business."

My partner and I were so shocked that we just walked out without another word. Which is a shame because we were considering putting an offer on the place up till that point.

Just want to hear other's opinions on whether it is an inappropriate question and how I should've handled it better. Being a first home buyer, it's a default question I ask all the time to gauge urgency of sale.


Mod: The poster has received sufficient answers and asked the thread to be closed. See final comments.

closed Comments

  • +70

    Not sure it's "inappropriate" but it's certainly irrelevant. Doesn't really make a difference to you whether current owners are downsizing, leaving country or divorcing really. Nor that whatever reason you are given is the truth or with correct context.

    • +136

      "They're leaving because their insider info says there is a projected new fly path over the property, also the stench from the local tip that you can't smell today does flare up in summer and make it less nice."

      • +62

        Ah yes, I forgot how honest and truthful agents always are.

        • +48

          Maybe worth asking the agent just to see what crap they come up with. Those with good body language reading or skills or insight into the psychology of behaviour may be able to glean some extra info.

          • +34

            @afoveht: Yeah this. People asks questions not to just get an answer, but everything involved, as you've mentioned.

            Obviously this reaction is over the top and an alarm bell.

            But it's really a sellers' market. Price keeps going up.

            • @mbck: It might be an idea to doorknock neighbours to research any issues in the area. You could afford to compensate them for their time with a gift too, considering the magnitude of sought investment.

            • @mbck: Price has to keep going up, we've printed an additional 35% AUD over the past 1.5 years. All prices needed to increase by 35% just to break even with what money was worth 1.5 years ago.

              So whatever you do, make sure you own an appreciating asset like a house, crypto or stocks or you'll get left behind in the dust.

        • +64

          Anyway, the only inapropriate thing here is the agent's reaction.

          • +32

            @afoveht: expected but. real estate agents are the used car sales people of the real estate world

            the only reason I wish the market to go down is so these over paid dishonest arseholes have to earn a wage equivalent to the effort they put in and intelligence they have

            • +21

              @MrThing: That's so unfair to used car salespeople.

              • +12

                @afoveht: real estate agents are worse because of the effort vs remuneration they get

            • @MrThing: Who else is there in the real estate world?

              • +4

                @R-Man:

                Who else is there in the real estate world?

                The politicians and banks.

                Pretty sad that a basic need is these days an industry propelled by the most predatory people.

              • @R-Man: property managers, commercial agents, leasing agents, etc

          • +1

            @afoveht: The standard answer to this is "personal reasons", which could be anything. If the agent was smart and in a good frame of mind he would have said that, but if he was honest then maybe he just felt like saying the truth, that it's not anyone's business.

            I guess it depends on if you value politeness over honesty. This could be the one agent who's actually truthful about things. It sounds to me the OP maybe prefers politeness.

            I ask this question, in the last case the old guy was off to a home and they needed to pay his costs, so the house was up for sale. I was treated with honesty, and it was verified by my needing to pay the deposit straight to the home. There's always a chance that something is rotten and needs fixing, a which you might find out anyway if you do a building inspection. I did this also and got some off the price at time of purchase.

            A bad vibe from the agent shouldn't prevent you from putting in an offer if you like the place and its the best you have found, but there's no substitute for due diligence. Get a building inspection and a good conveyancer.

      • +4

        Perhaps they're just over the neighbors from hell, or, the basement floods every time it rains, or there are faults that will need expensive repairs and you will only find out if you do your due diligence and fork out $450 for a report. It's a good question to ask and if you get am answer like that just walk away - massive red flag for me.

    • +19

      Doesn't really make a difference to you whether current owners are downsizing, leaving country or divorcing really

      It is relevant to sus out how truthful the agent is. If the sellers are desperate to sell, how you present your offer may work in your favour.

      • +19

        It is relevant to sus out how truthful the agent is.

        This! I always ask this question, not exactly interested in knowing why sellers are selling but to gauge how much I can trust the agent.

        I always ask this question and thankfully got polite answers from agents.

      • +5

        It is relevant to sus out how truthful the agent is

        They are not . Never. Ever. Not with the buyer, not with the seller, not with the taxman, not with the mother.
        Maybe Maybe Maybe with their dogs.

        • -2

          Im sorry that you are not able use particular information to your advantage.

          • @Ughhh: Mis-interpret is worse than not interpret.

            • @cameldownunder: If you only take things literally and at face value, then yeh, it won't help you much.

    • +5

      Well Hybroid, what happens if it’s deceased estate or if someone was murdered? Would it make a difference then? Would that still be irrelevant though..?

      • +4

        You would know upfront already. An agent is required to disclose a death if it happens within the property as it's a “material fact”.

        Also, it wouldn't really make a difference to me personally.

        • +5

          It will definitely make a difference to me. I certainly don't want the ghost of the deceased loitering around the place

        • -1

          I am quite convinced the real estate would take the chance and not tell.
          Someone buys the house and even id they find out, do you think they reverse the contract ?

          • +2

            @cameldownunder: I am not a lawyer and may depend on state but:

            Failure to comply with the vendor disclosure laws enables the purchaser to rescind (that is, pull out of) the Contract and obtain a full refund of any deposit paid (clauses 16 and 17 of the Conveyancing (Sale of Land) Regulation 2010).

            • @Hybroid: Exactly. But do you really think that after month of missing out, and finally getting a house, and moving into it, that the buyer rescinds on the contract, and restarts the search? I think the buyer just bites the bullet and moves on. And I bet the REA are aware of that.

              • @cameldownunder: i doubt it….most would or ask for a reduction. It isnt just accepting it…when it is their turn to sell they're kind of stuffed too

    • +5

      “Just cuz”

      “Alright. You’ve convinced me”

    • You will never know if you get the correct answer anyway
      The agent will just make something up in most cases

      And the agent is correct - its an invasion of privacy

      • +1

        as opposed to—visiting their home, snooping around, looking at their toilet, bedroom, loooking in their wardrobes.

    • +1

      Wrong answer. The question asked is an opener to find out if there are terms of sale which could be negotiated on alongside price. Yes they will lie about it but with sufficient probing you can find the true answer.

      The RE agent was being a prick and OP shouldn't do business with him.

    • We ask this all the time, one of the few questions we ask. We're property developers.

      It helps to gauge the urgency for the sale. Although in this climate, it's a sellers market.

      A lot of agents you might meet are quite new/don't want to be there/are having a bad day so wouldn't be too deterred by it.

      The agents are having quite a hard time though as there are plenty of time wasters on the market for the first time calling/enquiring and asking a lot of questions that begin to irritate them.

      Sometimes it may just be as simple as how you ask it, rather than what you actually ask.

  • +86

    The defensiveness could be of concern.

    • +14

      Or maybe we could be overthinking it. The real estate agent could be lacking in emotionally intelligence or customer service skills… or they really just don’t GAF.

      • +7

        could but, but any real estate is a pretty big investment / purchase. ud wana be 100% your not getting the wool dragged over your eyes.

        especially in a fast market you have to be careful not to commit to early without proper due diligence. if you miss out because you took you time, oh well. maybe you avoided a total catastrophe

        • +1

          Agreed 100%. The onus on due diligence lies with the buyer. However the pressure from FOMO tends to take over any objectivity.

          • @moo: I bet house sellers in this market arnt even bothering with providing building and pest inspections like they would normally in a normal / slow market where people take the time.

            and equally i bet buyers arnt asking - they dont care - they just want to buy buy buy

      • +8

        "The real estate agent could be lacking in emotionally intelligence or customer service skills"

        I thought those were pre-requisites for REA?

        • nope. just like brokers these days. people think it's easy so everyone is getting their broker licence/rea.

    • +1

      Probably got called in on his/her day off to do the open inspection.

    • I agree. "Me thinks he doth protest too much!"

    • true my wife is always defensive. It is concerning.

  • +19

    Which is a shame because we were considering putting an offer on the place up till that point.

    I don't think so. Some random making a random comment wouldn't stop someone from buying a house.

    Who cares what the agent says, they would have just lied anyway if giving you a reason, and it's not like you want them to be your best friend.

    • +2

      I kind of agree here. Having bought and sold a few properties now. All of them have been like a few minute negotiations. I don’t recall a massive psychological or emotional process as the OP and commenters are implying. If you want it you’ll buy it. If you don’t then you won’t it’s that simple.

      • +7

        It's just business, not sure why people get emotional over it. I've purchased cars from people that were absolute aholes and a pain to deal with, but I made money, so who cares. I would buy a house off an agent who called my mother names if it was what I wanted at the price I wanted.

        • +4

          Not so black and white. A home is usually a person’s biggest spend ever. Add to that the emotion of buying your first home.

          Its amazing though, you get to spend more time test driving a used car for $15k than you do sizing up a property.

          For almost a million in Sydney you get a 30 minute inspection, then you put in your offer and then you do your building and pest and if you’re lucky the agent will give you another 30 minute inspection before the pre settlement inspection.

          • @Vote for Pedro:

            A home is usually a person’s biggest spend ever.

            Still has nothing to do with the agent. It is about the house and the price. You deal with the agent once only.

            • +4

              @brendanm: Because, it’s not just ‘business’. There’s a significant emotional investment.

              • +5

                @Vote for Pedro:

                Because, it’s not just ‘business’. There’s a significant emotional investment.

                Your statement still doesn't make any sense - the process of exchanging money for goods is quite literally business. It doesn't matter how you try to spin it or justify it to yourself mentally.

                You want XYZ in a property and you are willing to pay $X for it. You may want what you want for emotional reasons (e.g. I want to live near where I grew up…etc. or whatever) but it doesn't change the fact that it's still a financial transaction whereby you are paying for certain things that you want.

                If you're placing how the real estate agent treats you highly on your list of priorities, then I would reassess your priorities.

              • +2

                @Vote for Pedro: It literally is just business. If you have any "emotional investment", it's in the house that you may spend years in, not the agent you will spend maybe a couple of hours with. You will have forgotten about the dick of an agent way before settlement time.

                • @brendanm:

                  You will have forgotten about the dick of an agent way before settlement time.

                  This can be interpreted too literally

                  • @p1 ama: Depends how desperate you are for the property I suppose 🤷

                • +2

                  @brendanm: I agree you forget the agent. And i agree it’s ultimately just a business deal.

                  But at the time there’s quite a lot of emotions going on and sometimes people don’t stop to think logically. I am one of them. Buying first house is a big deal. A big and scary deal.

                  • @Vote for Pedro:

                    sometimes people don’t stop to think logically

                    Surely that's their issue then? People need to treat business as business.

                    Buying first house is a big deal. A big and scary deal.

                    Sure, but not once did I care about the people I was dealing with when buying our place, only that the house was what we wanted, I could afford it, and it had good growth potential.

                    Getting emotional in business/money matters is a great way to end up with the wrong thing, or lose money.

                    • -1

                      @brendanm: No one is disagreeing. Just disagreeing with your view of the world. But i guess that’s expected

                      • +1

                        @Vote for Pedro: How is my view of the world incorrect in this case? You are buying the house, not the agent, use your brain, don't get upset with people, get what you want.

                        • @brendanm: Who’s saying it’s wrong?

                          I’m suggesting the real world isn’t black or white. Nuance exists in how humans (emotionally driven animals) react to real world situations.

                          • @Vote for Pedro: I understand this, however people need to realise that while there are times to be emotional, and times to be logical. When you are going to drop $250k-$5m on a house, its not time to get emotional about the agent.

        • It's residential housing. It's emotional AF. It's why we only build for ourselves and don't contract build as emotions run high.

  • +53

    the question is fine, agent was either having a bad day , or had something to hide

  • +2

    Ask for the section 32 or WA equivalent. Among other things, you can get into the nitty gritty of the property in your own time.. if it’s hard to understand, ask a conveyancer/lawyer.. happy hunting

  • +41

    If you do have Cooling off period, then:

    Make an offer, higher than normal
    Owner accepts and signs contract
    You back out within the cooling off period

    If they ask why, you know what to answer. Feel free to add a few nice words to their original answer to yout question.

    Moral of the story - there's always a nice way to answer or say. Some people need to get off their horse and learn it practically.

    • Yes I love it

    • +9

      Not sure about WA but cooling off fees apply in Victoria. This would not just be wasting time, but actually giving the vendor free money.

      • We dont have a cooling off period in WA, you sign the contract and they accept its yours. Subject to the conditions on the contract, building inspection, finance etc…

    • +5

      Silly waste of money. If someone else is dumb and behaving stupid. Is replicating their behaviour your idea of intelligent payback.

    • I think qld has .25% free if you cancel during the cooling off….so….

    • +1

      So absolutely screw the poor seller because their agent was having a bad day at a busy home open?

      Genius

      • +1

        If I learned that someone pulled out of my sale because my agent was being a piece of shit instead of just doing their job (hard, I know) I'd probably fire the agent.

    • +33

      Yes it is. They might be leaving cause the road noise is too loud, new development planned next door, crappy neighbors, etc. It's a very reasonable question!

      • -4

        If they were really ready to make an offer then they would have actually done their due-diligence on the home and area. Asking why they're selling and expecting an honest reply is hilarious.

        The reason for sale is nobody's business.

        There are a million different ways to find out the motivation for the sale beyond a stupid question like "why are they selling?"

        I spent 7 years selling real estate in Melbourne's inner-west. My response every single time to that question was "you know, I never thought it was my business so I didn't ask". Think I ever lost a sale from a genuine buyer over it? The answer is no. Genuine buyers don't care and don't ask stupid questions.

        • +26

          That's fair. But what does it cost to you to answer the question in a diplomatic way? The question could have been used to build rapport prior to discussing how to go about placing an offer.
          Think of someone asking "How's your week going?". It's none of their business but I'd still answer out of courtesy.

          • +7

            @WhatTheDuck: Listen, I agree that the way the agent answered your question is not correct, but you need to understand in future when asking such a question you're most likely not going to be told the truth. If there is a sinister reason, or if it's a divorce, you won't be told. The agent represents the seller and the seller only. Their only job is to get them the best possible price, how they handle themselves is up to their moral standards, and yes, most agents are dicks unfortunately.

            If you struggle to deal with agents then you can employ a buyer's advocate or buyers agent depending on what they're called in your area and they will do everything for you.

            I stand by the fact that the reason for anyone selling their home is not yours or anyone elses business. If she had replied something generic like "they're just ready to move to the next stage of their lives" as I've heard before - in what way does that help your decision to proceed with an offer? It doesn't, so try a different angle if you're looking for negotiation leverage.

            • +4

              @mab5125: I would imagine many agents would have an answer already pre-planned that won't raise suspicions, or have follow-up questions. But the answer wouldn't be truthful, so no doubt it's a question which would be pointless.

              No different to an interviewer asking why you left your old job. Your answer likely isn't genuine but you're telling them what they want to hear.

            • +3

              @mab5125: Sometimes you ask questions just to see if the guy is a dick and what you could be dealing with, rather than getting the real answer.

        • +12

          If they were really ready to make an offer then they would have actually done their due-diligence on the home and area

          That's part of what the open house is, doing your due diligence. As for the question, it's part of every home-buyers guide/hint/suggestion list that I've seen. While an agent won't tell you if there is a problem causing the owner to sell, it can help gauge interest.

          Think I ever lost a sale from a genuine buyer over it?

          To be honest you'd never know, they can be genuine buyers and walk away. Most salepeople know that the key strength of a salesperson is about gaining trust. If you answered as bluntly as that, I'm not sure I'd trust you when answering other questions. If I walk away, I'm not going to say "it's because you didn't answer me"

        • +25

          Genuine buyers don't care and don't ask stupid questions.

          Bullshit. Spoken like a true real estate salesman. Congrats.

        • +4

          Think I ever lost a sale from a genuine buyer over it? The answer is no.

          🤡

        • I have to disagree, if the reason for selling is because neighbour is hostile or there is certain defect the owner don't want to put up, I need to know that, if for other reason like financial issue or family reason, owner don't have to disclose. Although it should be a two way street, agent often ask buyer if investment or owner occupy, will that be inappropriate for agent to ask too? Will it would over the top of buyer reply to agent, it is inappropriate?

          • +1

            @htc: Exactly.

            Agent: "Do you have finance organised?"

            Buyer: "What's it to you dkhead?"

          • +1

            @htc: I think that's what mab is saying - that if there are any instances of that, the RE isn't going to be telling you that.

            • @shreav: often agent's standard answer are on the lines like, owner moving interstate, moving overseas etc. All the re have to say, I could not disclose this info with a smile on the face, and show potential buyers some other nice feature, just a way to strike more conversation with buyers, if the buyer asked what colour pants are you wearing, yes, blast it off, it is inappropriate to ask that!

          • +1

            @htc: Yes, but the point is you're not going to be told that. No one on the selling side wants to give away anything that might reduce prospects or value if it's legal to hide it.

            It's much like how buyers have to get their own building inspection/reports done if they want to be aware of any issues with the building (unless said issue would make the house unlivable in which case it has to be reported?). The onus is totally on the buyer to research the property, even if that means camping out in the bushes overnight to see what the neighbours are like

            • @buckster: Yes, agree, the manner of agent s what's not debatable, all the re have to say, I could not disclose that info due to instruction from the owner.

            • @buckster: I just feel if buyer asked any questions about the house, the re should under no circumstances say inappropriate to ask, agent can choose answer honestly, or make up reason or if refuse to lie, say I can't disclose.

              • @htc: Yeah I agree with you on that. Wasn't very nice and I would also feel dissuaded to continue with the sale if I were in those circumstances. But given the discussion that's occurred here, I don't know or think that I'm ever going to ask this question in the future. Might try my best and come up with my own conclusions based on the state of the home, rental income history, location, current market, etc.

      • Why would the seller tell the agent why they are selling? Surely you would always just say you are "moving up in size", "wanting to be closer to family" or some other bullshit excuse.

        No way you would tell your selling agent that you are moving because of road noise/smell from the tip when you get a westerly breeze/the neighbour is a junky/etc.

  • +22

    Completely appropriate. You ask this for the same reason you ask someone why they're selling their car. This would be a red flag to me. The fact she got so defensive means she didn't have a chance to prepare a bullshit response. A professional would either give the reason or tell the potential buyer that the reason for selling had not been discussed when listing.

  • +4

    Asking that question is standard when, as a buyer, you’re looking for a negotiation angle.
    All you want to know by asking that is how desperate is the seller.
    In a hot market it’s just annoying.
    Maybe express to the agent you are very interested and tailor your questions to be specific to actual the property you’ve viewing.
    Try to avoid coming across as someone who has read a book and asks the same questions every time. The agents can’t be arsed with that in this kind of market.
    You got to learn to play these agents at their own game, you’ve got to be fake, grease them up, lie to get what you want. Don’t be annoying.

    • +1

      Cheers for the constructive feedback. I reckon I may be asking textbook questions because that's basically what I'm getting from online research. Need to figure out how to phrase my questions better.

      • +9

        OK, so you are buying in a sellers market, even if the seller is desperate and would normally accept the first reasonable offer, they dont have to do that right now. The property is going to sell quickly for a good price anyway.
        Your question about why they are selling is redundant. The reason all the property gurus tell you to ask that is to establish how desperate they are and if there is an opportunity to grab a bargain.
        If you see something you want, dont approach the agent as if you are looking to make a low ball offer taking advantage of a sellers situation. Thats not going to work in the current market.
        Tell the agent you want the property, your finances are solid, everything is in place and you are serious but make it clear you have a maximium price.
        Tell them this property is at the upper limit of your price so you cant afford to get involved in a bidding war but if the owner is ready to move quickly you want to make a deal.
        It doesnt really matter if you arent successful the first few times, its about establishing a relationship with the agent. The agent needs to know you are serious and willing to pay a fair price. there are so many people out there looking you need to stand out.
        So then you tell the agent quite specifically what you want eg 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, walking distance to public transport withing 10kms of the CBD, with a large backyard, you will consider something in need of renovation, or not.
        This gets you on the agents radar as a serious buyer and the next property they have that fits your criteria, you want that agent calling you before its even advertised.
        Thats how the best deals are done.
        Real estate agents are driven by commission. If they can make a sale with little to no effort they will. You have to treat them like they are your best friend. Make them like you, dont read real estate books, read books on how to win friends and influence people.
        Always remember agents are dishonest liars and never trust a single thing they tell you. Thats the unwritten rule. You must do your own due diligence and fact check everything they say.

  • +4

    Probably wanted his mate to buy it. Maybe trying to ward off potential buyers.

  • +1

    Whatever the answer you get from a question like that is as believable as

    • asking a person why they are selling their car
    • asking a person whether they look attractive (all husbands know the answer to that question)
    • asking a person whether their 92 carry still looks good. ( answer is absolutely especially with painted brake callipers)
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