Uh-Oh, Knocked up The Misso. Tips and Advice?

wittyusername on 01/08/2023 - 10:35
Last edited 17/08/2023 - 08:51 by 1 other user

Partner and I have an unplanned pregnancy that we've decided to keep. Mid 30s, 2 bedroom apartment fully offset in Melbourne.

We're pretty new to the city and I don't have many (any) friends or family. Financially pretty stable, although maybe we need a bigger place now?

Never had much exposure to kids, so hoping there is some sage wisdom here on major pitfalls to avoid (prison etc) and also little things that you found helpful when having a new born. Thinking of buying a small bar-freezer for meal prep as my partner works pretty hardcore hours.

Tips, tricks, advice and mood-lighteners all appreciated.

Thanks

Toys & Kids Pregnancy

Comments

            • Dealhunter967671 on 02/08/2023 - 10:16
              +5

              @franco cozzo: Just an excerpt:

              Opening statement -

              “… The Most Important Statistics
              Women are 40% less likely to cheat than men.”

              Conclusion statement -

              “… After examining the statistics, it is clear that women are more likely to cheat than men.”

              Which is it?

              Source -

              my ass

            • [Deactivated] on 02/08/2023 - 20:31

              @franco cozzo: So from a group of 100% of trashy women only 57% of them admitted the truth, lol.

              Men really need to lift their game, stop being weak simps picking up the first bit of garbage the wind blows into their leg (who blows their other leg).

      • capslock janitor on 02/08/2023 - 10:56
        +1

        YOU ARE …

        NOT THE FATHER

    • SBOB on 01/08/2023 - 12:35
      +4

      I always appreciate when forum members dont shy away from showing their true personalities….

      • [Deactivated] on 01/08/2023 - 13:41
        +1

        …. personalities

      • franco cozzo on 01/08/2023 - 13:44
        -3

        hilarious….the whole lot of you 'fulltime OZB posters' have turned up…lmfao!
        do you all have notifications on or something?? LOL!

        • SBOB on 01/08/2023 - 14:02
          +7

          'fulltime OZB posters'

          you self-reflecting again?
          https://www.ozbargain.com.au/user/166560
          8135 comments

          • franco cozzo on 01/08/2023 - 17:56

            @SBOB: keep posting sbob….youre opinion is so important and we must hear it!!!

            • SBOB on 01/08/2023 - 18:05

              @franco cozzo:

              youre opinion is so important and we must hear it!!!

              Thanks…I was missing "blindingly ironic post with grammatical errors" in my daily ozbargain platinum bingo sheet.

            • Ughhh on 01/08/2023 - 19:01
              +1

              @franco cozzo:

              youre opinion

              It's more of a fact.

              Preschool level comeback there. Tsk tsk

          • [Deactivated] on 02/08/2023 - 20:32

            @SBOB: Ouch. ;-D

        • CrowReally on 02/08/2023 - 13:55
          +6

          hilarious….the whole lot of you 'fulltime OZB posters' have turned up…lmfao!

          Oh, the June 2023 stats just dropped.

          Everyone congratulate franco cozzo for being in the Top Ten Most Comments section with a whopping 489 for the month!

          That's a lot of posts! I guess he really knows what he's talking about when he uses terms like "fulltime OZB posters", so pay attention to the expert!

          • franco cozzo on 02/08/2023 - 14:20

            @CrowReally: …lol. you keep up with stats here?? ….hoping to get a mention and an internet badge??? lmfao!!!

            • CrowReally on 02/08/2023 - 14:29
              +5

              @franco cozzo: Ah, you caught me red-handed, being the guy that runs a monthly stats report and publishing it on here! Oh noooooo etc

              But seriously, accusing everyone else of being terminally online and getting a podium finish for most posts announcement within 24 hours?

              Your comedy timing is priceless. I have a lot to learn from you.

              • franco cozzo on 02/08/2023 - 14:30

                @CrowReally: my shitposting is an artform that cant be just learned…you must live it!

                • CrowReally on 02/08/2023 - 14:32
                  +1

                  @franco cozzo: if you can call that living

                  anyway, maybe indulge in a rare moment of self-reflection and have a think about what it means to be one of the most online people on here and taking great joy in imagining it's actually everyone else who is that, because that is something you think they should be ashamed of

                  • franco cozzo on 02/08/2023 - 14:33

                    @CrowReally: im here for the bargains baby, bargains….and as we all know bargains never sleep

                    • CrowReally on 02/08/2023 - 14:38
                      +1

                      @franco cozzo: (shrug) Anyone interested enough can click on your profile and see what your Posts are.

                      much like your previous month comment count, we don't need to take your word for it how often you come here and what you do when you're here, we can see for ourselves. with actual evidence.

                      anyway, good luck with your July ranking

                      • franco cozzo on 02/08/2023 - 14:41

                        @CrowReally: mate youve been here for like 2 years….go bother someone else who can be bothered replying to you. i dont need you analysing my post counts comments or anything bloody else. ciao!

                        • Ughhh on 02/08/2023 - 18:29
                          +2

                          @franco cozzo: You already have 22 comments on this thread. You're the easiest fish to catch ever.
                          I'm feeling second hand embarrassment.

                          • franco cozzo on 02/08/2023 - 19:37

                            @Ughhh: because i have to keep replying to idiotic comments that i never asked to engage with…its you lot that have the problem! lol!

                            example: right (profanity) now

                            • Ughhh on 02/08/2023 - 20:59
                              +3

                              @franco cozzo: Is it idiotic because it doesn't agree with your views? Is it idiotic because we don't think today.com is a good source of info? Is it idiotic because you've been the butt of the joke without realising?

            • Canberralad92 on 02/08/2023 - 22:20

              @franco cozzo: Talk to someone who cares Franco Cozzo…like Bunnings when you call them on price errors.

    • wittyusername on 02/08/2023 - 09:23
      +1

      She said as long as I pay for it and she doesn't need to do anything, and she'll pay me back if it's not mine.

    • I like freestuff on 02/08/2023 - 17:23
      +2

      Well there goes my 5 downvotes for the day.

      • franco cozzo on 02/08/2023 - 17:33
        -1

        thnx…i aim to please!

  • Gdsamp on 01/08/2023 - 11:26
    +2

    Life insurance/Income Protection

    Will

    • bobbified on 01/08/2023 - 13:43
      +3

      Income Protection

      I think OP probably should've considered other "protection" before….

    • wittyusername on 02/08/2023 - 09:24
      +2

      Thanks, these are things I've been putting off for a few years so really need to stop mucking about and get them sorted.

  • Danstar on 01/08/2023 - 11:29
    +7

    Baby won't be eating any solid foods for a while so don't worry too much about a fridge in the short term.

    Same as a bigger place, save money now for future upgrade. Babies don't take up a lot of space initially.

    Don't worry about buying too many baby clothes, especially 000-0000. Same as nappies, don't go overboard on the smaller sizes as they grow out of them fast.

    • RSmith on 02/08/2023 - 06:28
      +1

      so don't worry too much about a fridge in the short term.

      Wrong. Buy a fridge to store the milk that missus will be producing. Baby can't suck her dry everytime.

      • boirganz on 02/08/2023 - 07:39

        All being well with the proper help, baby does and can. You don’t NEED to express at all.

        However it’s always good as an option if lack of sleep for the overnight feeds affects mum too much physically and/or me tally.

        Have money aside for a lactation consultant in the first few weeks. They’re not covered by Medicare :(

      • Danstar on 02/08/2023 - 07:49

        Unless you get your missus to be a dairy factory, you don't need a whole fridge for a few spare bottles of expressed milk.

        • wittyusername on 02/08/2023 - 08:59
          +3

          Cheers, was more thinking of meal-prepping a bunch of healthy meals so I can just defrost and heat up. Otherwise I'm pretty partial to all the KFC offers on here.

          • GG57 on 02/08/2023 - 09:16
            -4

            @wittyusername: So the fridge is for yourself, not the baby or your partner? Wow.

            • mitt on 03/08/2023 - 17:44
              +1

              @GG57: Cooking takes up a significant portion of time at home, bulk prep is a damn good idea if you know you are about to be very time poor.

              It takes me half an hour to cook a single portion meal or an hour to cook 10 portions & freeze 9 of them. I have started cooking in batches set by the size of my cookware/amount of ingredients rather than cooking 1 meal at a time. It lets me spend my evenings actually relaxing. I imagine it will let OP spend time actually raising his newborn.

            • wittyusername on 04/08/2023 - 14:30

              @GG57: Why would a baby need an entire fridge?

  • trapper on 01/08/2023 - 11:33
    +7

    You will eventually get used to never properly sleeping or being fully rested again. :)

  • CodeXD on 01/08/2023 - 11:35
    +3

    @ChiMot thought you finally did it after all that teasing.

    Subscribe to Amazon low quantity deal for all your nappy needs

  • angywoo on 01/08/2023 - 11:36
    +8

    An infant first aid course is a good thing to do.

    Need to consider developing a friendship group.

    https://melbournemumsgroup.com.au/how-to-join-a-mums-group-i…

    • Jimothy Wongingtons on 01/08/2023 - 11:39

      yeah i can recommend finding and joining a good mum/dads group when the time is right, saves your sanity.
      dont be like me, u'll become isolated and weird :)

  • [Deactivated] on 01/08/2023 - 11:38
    +1

    Uh-Oh, Knocked up The Misso. Tips and Advice?

    Run

  • Jimothy Wongingtons on 01/08/2023 - 11:50
    +4

    good news you still got some time.

    put as much money as you can now aside
    .
    dont spend $$$$ on brand new baby furniture - second hand totally fine. some parents (mainly the mom) go nuts with high end furniture packages - more often than not u will end up all sleeping in the master bed anyway.

    look up your cities next baby show to determine what/how much you want to spend on pram

    white noise machines are super handy ( i like dream egg or you can tell google to play white noise for x amount of hours as required)

  • Xistn on 01/08/2023 - 11:51

    Nothing is out of reach… nothing.

    That dog poop you'll clean up in 5? that's either Brunch or new art décor.

    Dried up chewing gum? achievement unlocked.

    • wittyusername on 02/08/2023 - 09:01

      I've got a dog who's a bit like that, so hopefully it's prepared me a little. But probably not.

  • Muzeeb on 01/08/2023 - 11:56
    +23

    How many weeks is the misso?

    If we're talking less than 8 weeks then don't get too carried away yet. Shit happens.

    Source: shit happened twice to us.

    • Jimothy Wongingtons on 01/08/2023 - 12:03
      +12

      not a competition but we had it 4 times, then 5th time, kid was born at 28 weeks
      can confirm, shit does happen and definitely should get help if it eats away at you.

      • Muzeeb on 01/08/2023 - 12:14
        +7

        Tough times but it's super common unfortunately.

    • whitepuma on 01/08/2023 - 13:07
      +4

      Shit definitely does happen, in the same boat as you.

      Hope you're in a better place now, if not i hope things turn around for you.

    • Stopback on 01/08/2023 - 19:02
      +2

      Why 8 weeks shouldn't it be 13,?

      • Muzeeb on 01/08/2023 - 19:35

        Probably. Pick a number I guess.

    • John Kimble on 01/08/2023 - 21:51
      +1

      Shit happens about 25% of the time apparently. 😔

  • Protractor on 01/08/2023 - 11:57
    +1

    First thing you do is send your 'misso' the link to this thread. I'm sure she should appreciate the gesture

  • boomramada on 01/08/2023 - 12:13

    Uh-Oh OP just lost all access privileges to all your play toys and play areas.

    • idonotknowwhy on 02/08/2023 - 12:17
      +1

      Nope, OP has an excuse to play with kids toys, buy things like drones and RC cars "for the kid" and then let the kid watch him play lol

  • Almost Banned on 01/08/2023 - 12:28
    +3

    You will now have to be responsible for another human.
    Makes you grow up fast if you do it correctly.

    • ssfps on 01/08/2023 - 13:27
      +8

      Yeah, i think the biggest thing is just emotionally accepting that the center of your life is no longer yourself, your needs and wants will more often be deferred to their needs, and it's 24/7/365. It's a step further than marriage where your strive for 50/50.

      • trapper on 02/08/2023 - 11:28
        +2

        accepting that the center of your life is no longer yourself

        This is just called being an adult.

        Some people don't get there until they have children though, that much is true.

        • ssfps on 02/08/2023 - 18:07
          +1

          It's not just "being an adult", having kids is a step beyond just being thoughtful of others or not being completely selfish. It's different than trying to find fairness and deference in a marriage.

          I'm guessing if you haven't felt the difference you probably don't have kids?

      • capslock janitor on 02/08/2023 - 11:39

        if you give them a reasonably independent upbringing from age 3+, hopefully that will grow a responsible&thoughtful kiddo beyond 50/50 like 45/45/10 and etc. IMO

        just even small chores and tidying up after themself adds up

  • Benoffie on 01/08/2023 - 13:33
    +1

    Dont rush out and buy everything. Car, bassinet, whatever. Learn to love FB marketplace.

    Lean on family.

    Oh and they dont disappear after 18 years. Just FYI.

    • Ghost47 on 01/08/2023 - 15:31

      Lean on family.

      OP said they're from Perth and "We're pretty new to the city and I don't have many (any) friends or family."

      I feel a bit worried for them because of that fact.

      • Benoffie on 01/08/2023 - 16:44
        +1

        Agreed. Raising a child away from family is daunting even when planned.

        Could be grandparent stays in their future.

  • Protractor on 01/08/2023 - 13:48
    -3

    "You will now have to be responsible for another human."
    That's a very quaint and ancient practise

    • CrowReally on 01/08/2023 - 18:00
      +4

      i don't want a precise date, but speaking generally when do you think the notion of parents being responsible for raising their baby became "quaint and ancient"?

      or alternatively, when did they stop doing that?

      • picket23 on 02/08/2023 - 15:12

        I think maybe it was a joke, poking fun at how many irresponsible parents are around relying of govt and schools to do the hard work? If so was kinda funny… Hard to tell what the meaning was though

        • CrowReally on 02/08/2023 - 15:29

          i mean yeah, but it's "well, when they're 5 or 6 that might be the case", which isn't really what we're talking about here

          i think it'd be bad faith to go "you haven't been clear, but it looks like you were making this shithouse joke that doesn't work" so in case I'm missing a 'take' or perspective on it, I figured I might as well ask

  • Eeples on 01/08/2023 - 14:04
    +1

    8.1 billion people in the world. All of them new borns at one time.

    Doesn't seem to much advice is required.

    • Gdsamp on 01/08/2023 - 15:10
      +1

      yeah but only 1.2% have 47.8% of the wealth

      • Eeples on 02/08/2023 - 01:47
        -1

        If those numbers are correct…. then lack of wealth is over-rated as a measure of unfairness (if that is the point you are making).

        Ie. I would suggest there are millions of ppl in the world that are not considered wealthy…. But are reasonably healthy and have family, community, and purpose.

        (And I’m not just saying that to ‘make myself feel better’ because of the ‘guilt I have’ by being relatively wealthy).

        • KiKH on 02/08/2023 - 14:46
          +2

          37% of Americans can't cover a $400 emergency expense.
          45% of child deaths worldwide are from hunger/malnutrition.

          I agree money doesn't give you happiness and purpose, but a lack of money creates a lot of stress.

  • CheapStuffIDontNeed on 01/08/2023 - 14:45
    +12

    Check out Daddit and PreDaddit on Reddit. Great communities for source of info.
    Im a new dad. Shit is tough. But its the best thing I've ever done with my life. Enjoy the ride.

  • Ghost47 on 01/08/2023 - 15:30
    -3

    So you and your partner are both new to Melbourne? IMO having family around would be very helpful when having kids. Just make sure you're making the right decision and consider everything, i.e. your life will effectively be over when you have the kid because you'll need to focus all your attention on them, consider your financial situation, consider how much cashflow you will have with one partner off work, consider costs, eventually daycare costs etc. Do not make an emotional decision. Just make sure if you're going to have the baby that you will be able to give it a good life and you are both 500% committed to the decision.

    • GG57 on 01/08/2023 - 15:38
      +4

      …your life will effectively be over when you have the kid…

      Really? We (and I imagine quite a lot of others) didn't have family to support us with our kids, we didn't have a lot of money, one of us took career leave, etc. Surprisingly, the children survived, as did we parents.

      • Ghost47 on 01/08/2023 - 15:41
        +2

        Ok, that was probably a bit extreme. I'm sure the OP and their partner will still have a life, it's just that a big part of it will be dedicated to the child now.

        And those other things, it certainly helps having them so you don't have to worry about other things as much.

        • GG57 on 01/08/2023 - 16:04

          Even "…those other things…" aren't critical to having a child.
          Sure, people can provide more if they have more money, but people have been getting by for thousands of years. It isn't all about materials things in my view, but about the relationship.

          • Ghost47 on 01/08/2023 - 16:16
            +1

            @GG57: I disagree. What I've suggested is simply described as "planning" and "planning" things out is prudent no matter what the situation. I don't deny people have simply got by as a result of doing things unplanned, but it is more secure to plan things out first.

            • GG57 on 01/08/2023 - 16:19
              +1

              @Ghost47: OP said "Partner and I have an unplanned pregnancy that we've decided to keep".

              I think it is a bit late to talk about what they should have planned.

              • Ghost47 on 01/08/2023 - 16:20
                +1

                @GG57: Oh, so the baby has come out already has it?

                Your first reply says "take it seriously", are the suggestions I've made too serious for you? Things like considering your finances, costs and cashflow?

                • GG57 on 01/08/2023 - 16:28

                  @Ghost47: Your comments "Just make sure you're making the right decision…Do not make an emotional decision. Just make sure if you're going to have the baby that you will be able to give it a good life and you are both 500% committed to the decision." read to me that OP should reconsider their decision.

                  My comment was in regard to OP's relatively flippant post title.

                  • Ghost47 on 01/08/2023 - 16:31
                    +2

                    @GG57: Oh now you're totally derailing the thread.

                    So what if I told them to carefully consider their decision? Having a child is a life long commitment, people who go into it without thinking deeply about things just end up having kids that become neglected, do you want more of that kind of thing?

                    My comment was in regard to OP's relatively flippant post title.

                    Ah so I must be being too serious for you. OP should sit around and twiddle their thumbs waiting for the baby to pop out. They obviously can't do anything in the next several months to make sure they're in the best position they can be when the baby is born.

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