Uh-Oh, Knocked up The Misso. Tips and Advice?

wittyusername on 01/08/2023 - 10:35
Last edited 17/08/2023 - 08:51 by 1 other user

Partner and I have an unplanned pregnancy that we've decided to keep. Mid 30s, 2 bedroom apartment fully offset in Melbourne.

We're pretty new to the city and I don't have many (any) friends or family. Financially pretty stable, although maybe we need a bigger place now?

Never had much exposure to kids, so hoping there is some sage wisdom here on major pitfalls to avoid (prison etc) and also little things that you found helpful when having a new born. Thinking of buying a small bar-freezer for meal prep as my partner works pretty hardcore hours.

Tips, tricks, advice and mood-lighteners all appreciated.

Thanks

Toys & Kids Pregnancy

Comments

  • banana365 on 04/08/2023 - 15:10

    Most of the advice you'll be given about pregnancy and bringing up a child is well meaning. Half of it is useful, half of it is complete rubbish. The trick is working out which to take on board and which to nod politely to as you think "sod that you mad old bat". If you care, you'll do OK.

  • wittyusername on 04/08/2023 - 15:28
    +1

    Just wanted to say a big thanks to everyone for all the info and help. Apologies if I haven't given you a reply, but will be reading through the comments and making notes.

    Cheers.

  • Bumblegrum on 04/08/2023 - 15:34
    -1

    RUN :)

  • Willy Beamish on 04/08/2023 - 16:34

    As the very wise and successful businessman Frank Reynolds said: Do yourself a favour and flush it out.

    But really, who cares, we can't make that decision for you, do whatever you want as it appears you've been doing that to get them pregnant in the first place.

  • CochazoTuc on 04/08/2023 - 17:19

    I'll advise waiting until your child is two before starting childcare, and then only a few days a week until they're three. After that, four-five days a week until pre-school is enough. Full daycare days can stress a young child's brain, which might lead to issues later in life. It'd be better to send them for just a few hours daily, but sadly, Australia's system often pushes for full-day childcare, which I think is excessive

    • trapper on 07/08/2023 - 18:21
      +1

      Full daycare days can stress a young child's brain, which might lead to issues later in life.

      Ridiculous.

  • anawth on 04/08/2023 - 18:58
    +4

    What helped me come to terms with impending fatherhood was someone telling me "bigger idiots than you have done it". That gave me comfort haha

  • Ryk on 04/08/2023 - 19:21

    This time next year you can sit up all night nursing the bub and watching the cricket, tennis, tour de france, and Paris Olympics, win!

    Dont go bogan with the name. The child will have it for life, quite possibly into the 22nd century. and all through school.

    start swimming lessons early at, say, 12-18 months.
    try other sports before 10 years old, ideally by 7-8yrs, footy (whatever flavour kicks your tyres), tennis, then hockey, volleyball,… a little later. skiing if we still have winter in 2030-32.

    • mlburnian on 04/08/2023 - 21:53

      Are you seriously worried about not having winters in a decade? Suggest you Google past climate predictions going back few decades and sleep easy.

  • hdog on 04/08/2023 - 20:29
    +1

    When you’re in the newborn blur and you think you need some whizz bang product to solve a problem, wait three days and usually it wasn’t necessary at all. Bottle warmer is a great example for us.
    Get a decent coffee machine if you don’t have one already.
    Small house is fine. Challenge is managing the amount of stuff people give you. Baby handmedowns are amazing, but MIL bringing new toys and books every week is not. All that shit has to go somewhere, so boundaries are important if you start to feel smothered with kid clutter.
    Take lots of videos. They grow so quick and photos just don’t capture their little movements and noises. You will never regret having these.
    Try to keep focus on what’s creating anxiety versus what is helping manage it, sometimes the line gets blurry with babies. Like tracking feeds and nappies in an app, can make people feel like things are under control but then they’re waiting for baby to poop because the app says they should. Tail ends up wagging dog, parent gets stressed instead of letting baby be a human and not a robot.
    A travel stroller that lives in the car, if you have a very car-centric lifestyle. Prams are bulky in the boot, once baby is a few months old a travel stroller is your mvp for coming and going quickly.

    Also be very careful in that first year after baby arrives. Ended up with 3 under 3 😅

    • May4th on 04/08/2023 - 22:38
      +1

      you'd think you'd learn after the second!

  • Apothecary on 06/08/2023 - 08:08
    +2

    I used to think that babies were expensive because of the things we have to buy. The most expensive thing for us was the loss in income. We have set our lifestyle up so we really need two high income earners to support it. Went back to work later than I initially thought as well and wasn't able to work as much as I thought I could. I wish I saved more money up when I was pregnant.

    • hdog on 06/08/2023 - 19:16
      +1

      This 100%! We had engineered our life to be manageable on one income but it’s bloody tight.. especially last twelve months of doom and gloom. But for us, it’s worth it to keep the kids home. No holidays for the foreseeable future but it’s a season of life and honestly travelling with the crew sounds more stressful than fun at their ages.
      Friends who have bought bigger fancier houses don’t have the same flexibility to have someone stay home, so we are grateful for the choices we made a few years ago.

  • xdigger on 08/08/2023 - 10:26

    Minimise costs by going for home brands rather than branded stuff. This goes for formulas, prams, etc. Though our current high costs of living is essentially a manufactured crisis given we HAVE the money to help everyday Aussies if spent on housing, electricity, health, etc, but instead these hundreds of billions (likely blowout to trillions by the end of the AUKUS deal) have been earmarked for the US military industrial complex by corrupt ex- and existing politicians.

    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-08-08/aukus-lobbyists-mps-d…

  • RocketSwitch on 08/08/2023 - 11:21
    +1

    Don't miss the first 0-4 years of their life. Be present. 75% of the time you will have with them will be gone by the time they're 12. Almost 90% by 18.

    I have 2 under 4. I have been blessed to have this advice early on and thank the pandemic for allowing me to always work from home. I missed so much the first 5 months of my son's life.

    They need you now.

    Be kind to your wife. Make sure she's looked after. A happy wife is happy kids. Do your best to control your anger, go for hugs than yelling. You will do silly things in the heat of the moment, things you will regret when the calm arrives.

  • cupcake on 10/08/2023 - 09:56
    +2

    Congratulations on moving forward with your life.
    Now it's time to be less selfish and give your baby all the love it needs.
    You will lose sleep, time, money but it will all be worth it.
    Don't argue with the missus and be supportive and you guys will be fine.
    Good luck.

  • impoze on 16/08/2023 - 08:16
    +1

    Buy a snoo either on sale or Facebook and resell it after

    Sleep is worth every cent

    • Yola on 17/08/2023 - 08:02

      Wish this existed when I had children. Will be getting it for the grandkids when they come along.

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