Someone at work is eating my lunch on a regular basis - how can I get back at them without getting in trouble

As title suggests someone at work is eating my lunch 2-3x a week. Yes I put a name tag on my food, both on the plastic bag and then on the lunchbox. This theft almost always occur 99% of the time I get takeaway such as a sushi box or some kind of takeaway. Other times they'll look in my lunch box and nick parts of my lunch such as my chobani yoghurt or up and go other prepackaged snacks.

The higher-ups won't let me view CCTV and they said they'll investigate and despite reporting it in early December, it's been happening again shortly after the Christmas/New Years break. Friends have suggested putting unbearably hot spices or laxatives or something to mess with them but I have the feeling I'd get in trouble.

Any suggestions?

update: i will go with a really hot sauce and put it in one of my lunches, thanks for the ideas guys :) Will let you know how it goes
update 2: purchased hot sauce as someone suggested in the comments from the chilli factory, will keep you updated

Comments

  • A work mate was getting left over KFC stolen for a bit. They started wiping left over drumsticks in the toilet. I don't think he ever found out who it was but was satisfied they probably got sick.

  • +2

    Get one of those Tile thingoes, glue it to the underside of the yoghurt, once stolen, load up the app and track it to the person responsible.

    I also particularly liked the food dye suggestion.

    Cooler bag on your desk probably most sensible but least satisfying.

    • I don't know what the tile things are, but that sounds very funny - or one of those key finders and then walk around whistling.

      • +1

        It's basically a glorified key finder but is flat and you can glue it to things!

        • Tile Mate..very clever, technology is so fast these days. $37 at jbhifi but lasts a year, discrete too.

  • +2

    Crush 4 Hypnodorm 1mg into your sandwich. when they're snoring at their desk a few minutes later put their hand in a glass of water.

  • +16

    i would go the psychological torture route myself
    imagine them opening your lunchbox to find a dead cockroach inside and a note saying "did you find the other two yesterday?"

    • GOLD.

  • +1

    Put pre packaged expired food in your lunch bag

  • Is anyone else getting their lunch stolen? It might make sense to alert the wider company to see if others are being affected. Working together might make it easier to catch the thief?

    If you think someone is targeting you specifically, try putting a different name on your lunch? Perhaps your manager's name with his/her permission - if it still gets stolen, they might become more motivated to help you since they're being disrespected.

  • +1

    Step one; Buy a Carolina reaper.
    Step two; Buy prepackaged snack that is easy to open/close.
    Step three; Shred or juice the CR.
    Step four; Put CR into snack, making sure to make the snack look untainted.
    Step five; Set the trap and kick back.

  • Language is important: Mentioning to management that you're feeling a crook after one of their employees is repeatedly contaminating your food will do more than the whinge that someone's stealing your food.

    You may even be concerned if it's a pervert drugging you and/or the women in your office.

    If you prefer another route, get an exploding dye bag. You know the kind you see in movies for bank robberies. Ensure there is a DO NOT OPEN label on the outside. When they open the lunch box, bang, dye all over them, and the rest of the room.

  • label your lunch as HALAL food and no one will touch it

  • Mouse trap

  • +1

    I'm pretty sure the superheroes that made up Marvel's Avengers were picked from Ozbargain.

    Everyone is so creatively vengeful.

  • -5

    Put your 'cum' (i.e. semen) into your food, yoghurt, whatever.

    And let them eat it… ;-)

    Or….put poisen in the food? jk.

    • Really? You must be one odd dude to think that is a valid thing to do

  • +1

    You won't be getting any retribution or justice but maybe try reverse psychology.

    No need to ruin or poison your own food. Change your labels to 'dear thief, enjoy your meal.' Add a winking smiley face if you feel this is appropriate.

    Almost certain he/she won't go for your food again.

  • +2

    If you want a 'peaceful' resolution; threaten to escalate to management as bullying. Threaten to call in union, tell them you've started collecting the past emails you sent to them regarding this bullying. They'll sort it out by sending an email or probably just having a 'quiet word' with who they know is doing it. You probably won't get to know who was doing it though.

    I would want to know who's doing it!

    An 'aggressive' resolution would be to put chillie or something nasty in it, in such a way that you can find out who's doing it (food dye/laxatives etc). How nasty is up to you and you'll need to cover yourself if for example you put weed in (i.e. make sure they don't drive to work or once you know who it is make sure HR know so it's the companies responsibility to get them home etc).

    I's just go with chilli. No harm done, and keep your eye's peeled at lunch time.

  • I would buy a kids style lunch box/bag and put a small lock on the zipper

  • I would start a joke around the office that someones stealing your lunch so you've been rubbing your balls over it for a laugh. Although dont actually do it. If the person laughs or looks at you strange then its not them. If they gasp in horror, then theres your lunch stealer.

    You could also do a Van Wilder and put a photo behind the wrapper if you really do it.

  • I'm sorry this is happening to you. It pisses me off that so many adults act like kids in the office and resort to stealing food. Why the (profanity) don't you just buy your own food?

    I would seriously go with a laxative. You'll know very quickly who it is and if the culprit is stupud enough to do anything about it, you can always claim that you are blocked up and need it for a BM

  • +2

    I can personally confirm super hot chilli paste works a treat to locate the perp. Burn baby burn. That prick was managed out of the company not long after.

  • People do this in this day and age?

    I like the suggestion of a cooler bag and keeping your lunch in your drawer/desk. This is what I do, the office is already cold enough.

    • +1

      I agree - this is easily solved - I also take a cooler bag and ice brick and leave the food at/under my desk. Never had a problem with this and if you are worried, put your smaller insulated lunch box sized cooler bag inside a larger reflective bag like the aldi cool bags and it stays super cool all day.

      Sorry to everyone suggesting it, but I don't think any of the chilli / hot food suggestions would work too often - many people would just slightly taste it then chuck it out and steal someone else's food instead. If this is the option, you need really hot Habanero sauce so just one small amount has bite. Youtube Habanero to see what I mean, lots of videos…!

      The laxative would be better… bahahahaha. You probably can't get in trouble if you labelled it as your own food.
      Who is going to go forward and say "I ate someone else's food from the fridge and I think it gave me the s..ts!" They will probably just think it was old / gone bad and maybe think twice about someone else's left overs - that was the point?
      Even then, its your food, you are allowed to have laxative if you want/need to, so its eat at their own risk.

      Although if it were me, i'd want them to know they have had it right at the end, i'd put a large dose in, and at the bottom of the container under all the food I will have left a note that says "good job, if you have reached this note then you ate all the laxative"

  • You don't happen to work at ANZ do you? :P
    (ok so it's probably common in a lot of big offices; I heard stories from there that's all lol)

    Thankfully the worst my office has being a single project/team office is just the odd lazy untidy person who leaves dirty dishes around or what not. No stealing or what not … maybe except the cutlery lol

    That said we have had other issues where our manager got informed of something and their style of handling it is a general warning email to the whole office, or if a serious matter a snap meeting of the whole office but again, a general warning to everyone (obviously including the perp)

  • +2
  • diuretics are less likely to make the food taste awful than laxatives

    • Grind them up, add extra herbs and cheese. That's what I did to a pizza thief. Just wasn't sure if the cooking process would have any effect on the laxative.
      Never happened again so I like to think it worked.

  • +3

    Do you think they'd steal something like a cupcake?

    You could get a cupcake or a muffin and then cut out a hole and fill the centre with a cream or frosting that's dyed with a heap of blue food dye.

    That way they wouldn't know about the secret ingredient that will mark them as a food thief until they are already eating it.

  • Definitely put something in your food. Laxatives, viagra, sleeping pills, chili, vomit tablets (if these even exist, otherwise just leave your food out for a few days) etc. something in there that would royally screw up their day after they eat it.

    • Maybe also put gravel or rocks in your food.

  • +4

    Just wank over the mayo and buy something delicious with mayo on it. The next day put a sign up saying you just did that.

    • Wank over the mayo?

      • +4

        Some mayo bottles have nice curves

  • +1

    My mother has a friend that is one of those types that always takes things too far and when she realised someone was eating some of the baked lasagna or whatever it was she brought to work for lunch each day she started putting pieces of glass in it. I don't know if the food thief ever got injured or not but a stupid thing to do, possibly killing someone over a bit of food.

    • +1

      your mother has a psycho friend! omnigosh!

    • +3

      you want to screw with them, not kill them

      • +1

        I think OP probably wants to kill them. I'd want to too.

        There's a difference between wanting to kill someone and actually taking steps to make it happen though.

    • +1

      woah!!!! This is why you don't mess with peoples food!

    • I've eaten glass out of a dispensing machine at Tuart College. The principal and medical staff said it will just pass straight through no worries.
      I was very surprised. Perhap this person knows this, and was just trying to scare better.

  • +2

    Classic passive aggressive note opportunity!

    Do it! Scrawl something really passive aggressive in crayon, stick it to the fridge and become internet famous!

  • add a few drops of ipecac syrup then wait and see who has satanic like projectile vomiting in the office.

  • +1

    Take some cake next time; that way they could have your cake and eat it too…

  • At my wife's work, they all have top secret clearance. Anyway someone was stealing food and management actually followed through and dismissed the person. Basically if they're willing to steal food from coworkers, then they can't hold a security clearance. At her old area, they had regular bug sweeps.

    At my old work a lady had bought a birthday cake and left it in the fridge until home time. Someone had helped Themselves to a slice - but she only found out when she got home to put the candles in. This is in a building where everyone had to have at least a basic security clearance, and on our level a decent clearance as we had additional security to get into the level.

  • Gopro in the lunch box plus blue exploding paint trap.

    Or man up and take on everyone in the office, they are all clearly in on the joke. A workplace that allows this behavior is ridiculous, time to stand up for yourself.

  • OP won't do anything - he's too scared. By all means - keep going and 'telling' sometimes you just need to be a man and sort it out yourself.

  • If you want to catch him, Add some powder of the drug that causes diarrhea and cook a special food for him and leave it in the same place. You will get to know who it is the following day :P

  • If you do go the chilli route, don't just use regular old chilli or hot sauce. Get something like this that they can't just see upon quick inspection and will absolutely destroy all but the most die-hard chilli eaters

  • https://lockabox.com/

    Lock your lunch up and let the thief be someone else's problem.

  • Just buy this lunch bag - http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e72e/

    Problem should be sorted

    (I haven't read all 4 pages of comments so apologies if this has already been posted)

  • We had this happen at our work which is a pretty big corporate. Someone would sneak into the fridge and take one bite from each sandwhich before wrapping it up again and putting it back in the fridge.

  • this is too good to be true.

  • +1

    I would personally lather up my lunchbox in a some kind of ink substance (preferably red) that can't be washed off easily, then you can catch them red handed.

  • raise it even higher up.
    it could be your boss or one of their friends

  • Hope you catch them

  • +1

    Someone I know had this happening to them. Lets just say they added an extra homemade vanilla glaze to their krispy kreme in the fridge. The person stopped after that.

  • Lol. Interesting topic.

    It happened to me at my workplace as well. I used to grab a 2L juice bottle from Woolies and store it at the designated fridge at office. Two days later, I could see less than just 500 ml in the bottle, Yuck!, and I din touch it. The very next day, I was thirsty, when I opened the fridge I could lhardly spot few drops left, so I just opened the cap, sniffed like a Shepherd and threw it away. And the same culprit licked my other juice bottles, It continued for a week.

    Then I got this idea and it worked out for me.

    I started using the fridge on the other floor and used sticky notes to name it. Problem solved for me!

  • -3

    You could put some hydrochloric acid in the food. Or if you don't want to be responsible for burning a hole in your colleague's throat, you could put a note on there saying that you have added hydrochloric acid to the food and that the thief should eat at their own peril.

    • +2

      I am flabbergasted by the stupidity on display here.

      Poisoning the petty office thief is a great way never to have to worry about it again. In prison you get your meals served to you. Your worries will revolve around who will beat you, stab you or take a fancy to you.

      Someone stealing your lunch at work does not justify killing or maiming them.

      I HAVE to believe this is all talk. How the hell else are there not more Ozbargainers in prison?

      • +2

        People are just expressing some frivolity in light of the humours situation, relax.

        • It's entirely plausible that someone's going to take this kind of thing to heart and end up in a mess.

  • +7

    A now-departed work colleague kept a tub of butter in the shared fridge - with his name on it - that he used for toast or to make a sandwich at work. He would often try to use it, only to find the container empty. His solution was to leave an indent in the butter and a message on the paper liner under the lid that said "I have rubbed my dick in this butter". He was waiting for the complaint about his appalling behaviour, but strangely no one ever raised it and his butter stopped disappearing…

    • +4

      I'd have left a note on it as well saying "me too"

  • to all the people saying put super hot chilli in the food surely the thief would smell it and not eat any?

    • chilli can be odourless

  • -1

    Get the glue mice trap from Daiso. Stick it to the bottom of a disposable container in such a manner that the glue part faces down. Attach 4 small pegs on each corner, such that the glue does not come in touch with the fridge shelf.

    Leave it there and enjoy the show when the thief tries to pinch your container.

  • -1

    instead of bringing lunch bring a massive shit and wrap it

    • +3

      I am sure everyone in the office will be appreciative of them stinking out the fridge/kitchen with a shit.

  • +1

    Poisoning your own food to get back at someone stealing it and eating will go badly. Don't trust OzBargain "lawyers".
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2524729/Met-police-o…

    • 'Mistook it for his own Powerade….' yeah right. The possible effects of a mouthful of screenwash are also a beat up. Thief got schooled and then decided to cry.

  • Magnesium sulfate. Also known as Epsom salts. Make a solution of it and inject using needle and syringe into your food. They will get terrible diarrhoea. :)

  • Love the suggestions. Any update on the situation OP?

    • +1

      I'm leaning towards really hot chilli sauce in a sandwich. Cameras and GPS trackers and paint bombs and such aren't as easy to do lol.

      • -1

        Not being a lawyer, I would think making a sandwich that you can tolerate but others probably would not would be your only defensible option if you wanted to be vengeful. I happen to like really really hot food, so if I were to do this, hot chilli sauce would be my choice. Deliberately tainting food could quickly land you in trouble with the law.

  • +1

    Invisible Ink (hopefully non-toxic?) … Shine the UV light and give them the George Costanza AAAH HA! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l1e2TPGqZg)

  • I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. I can never understand why this happens so much? WHY do people this its okay/safe for themselves to eat other people mystery food??? It's crazy and very frustrating for the victim.

    I would be so worried about whether or not they were using artificial sweeteners or chemicals I don't like in my own cooking.

    Or finding something slimy hidden in the sauce on my sandwich.

    I would also worry if towards the bottom of the meal someone had mixed grains of sand into the meal.

    Or if I was finishing the meal and found a single feather picked up off the street or a deep fried lizard at the bottom.

    Or if I realised halfway through that I was eating dog-fur mixed through my entire curry.

    Or if someone was to cook a delicious salad meal, then chop up raw chicken into unnoticeable slivers and mix it through the dressing.

    Or if they accidentally dropped a couple metal filings (cut up staples) into a crunchy-ish meal that camouflaged into the meal (like cracked pepper, dried longwise-chopped rosemary, or some type of organic looking grain mixed in).

    Or if someone had crushed up medicine and masked it with an overpowering taste. The medicine does nothing at first but 6 months down the track - BAM! Goodbye liver. Untraceable.

    Even takeaway foods aren't safe as it could be tampered with all the same.

    NOT THAT IM SAYING TO DO ANY OF THE ABOVE YOURSELF!! But Personally, I would NEVER steal fridge food for especially these kinds of reasons. It's not even an option. It's just not even safe to do so. The person might be the type to do terrible things to the food - they will get in trouble for it of course but it's not even worth it.

    If I really had to do something something about it I would stick a label on it asking people to stop eating my lizard meat meals or something. I would stick to something mild because if they take revenge on you, they know which meal is yours to lace/tamper with back. Then you would never feel safe to eat even your own meal ever again.

    If you do go down the laxative path you WILL get reprimanded at work for doing that if they find out it was intentional (especially now that they know - friend's brother got burned by management for doing this) go see a doctor first and say you're massively constipated and get your bases covered.

    • Surviving in Australia, with high rents, esp if living in Sydney ;)

  • Maybe someone might have suggested, but a lunchbox that emits a radio signal.
    Could invite your managers to track it down like a treasure hunt!

  • +3

    I used a work colleagues coffee cup once, not knowing it was his.

    Next time there was tabasco sauce on the rim of the cup.

    I never used it again.

    Just sayin…

  • -1

    So this is how people survive in Australia, by stealing others lunches!

    • Yes… Australia is the wild wild west and a terrible place to live.

      And pray tell, what blissful country do you live in where humans don't steal from other humans?

      I can't wait till I hear your reply. Really.

  • +8

    Lawful Good: Leave notes in meal offering to help culprit with food to address his pettiness and the root cause of stealing.

    Neutral Good: Altruistic Consequentialism - Put on a note on the fridge addressed to culprit, warning him of the repercussions of his actions.

    Chaotic Good: You have earned your meal and it was taken from you, so you will take back what you are owed.

    Lawful Neutral: OHAS and HR Regulations prevent you from seeking justice.

    True Neutral: You honestly couldn't care less, this does not affect in the grand scheme of things. Get another meal.

    Chaotic Neutral: Flip a coin - Heads, you lace your food with laxatives. Tails, you ignore it completely.

    Lawful Evil: Justice - dye food with blue color, put up notices around office informing them of food thief. Humiliate culprit once they are outed and cannot wash out color dye from mouth.

    Neutral Evil: Retribution - Lace food with Essence of Ipecac. Will make culprit suffer for their ongoing crimes and will be outed immediately.

    Chaotic Evil: Do what comes natural - shredded pins you say?

    • +1

      all out: Put tape worm eggs in it

      • +1

        Ahhh memories… well played Orpheon, well played :).

        Only a Dungeon's and Dragon's player (either role play or the PC games) would understand this reference.

        Hat's off to you good sir, very fond memories dusted off because of you :).

  • This happened to me at school - the problem was that the thief only took one bite. I did try to put sleeping tablets into the sandwich but the challenge was to work out what part of the sandwich to put them in. I couldn't load it all up just in case he ate it all. The thief eventually told me who he was and said that he noticed the taste of the sleeping tablet immediately.

  • +3
    1. The awkward moment that the culprit is on Ozbargain….

    2. set up a cheap small camera, that way you know who it is and have more options of 'getting back at them'

    3. Write a note saying "The food contains my piss, are you willing to take the chance?"

  • +1

    Put something to show who's the culprit i.e. laxative or i don't know, high % alcohol? But put a note saying I know who you are and I've reported this to the higher up. However, I told them i'd let you go if you stop doing it. But if this lunch is missing again, I'll get them to action this. Write yes if you agree.

    Of course that's the fake lunch, and you have to have backup lunch for that day. If it's gone again, then you can figure out who it was and really action your threat.

  • Act like you need to be hospitalised for starvation and malnutrition. Call the insurance company and lawyer for writing a will.

  • Add a juice or something to your lunch. Crush up 200mg of seroquel and add to said juice. When someone just keels over with exhaustion you'll know who it is. Seroquel is a common antipsychotic but does require a prescription.

    • Ooooh polamine worked on me.. I feel damn sleepy half an hour after taking it. But unfortunately I took it as an antihistamine so I had to stay away for ages which was damn hard!

      • Could use phenergan too. Phenergan was used by the creepy UNSW pharmacist who drugged his co-worker. If you can get your hands on some diazepam that'd be even better. 20-30mg of Valium should make the victim quite high.

        • Any of these drugs in such quantity would taste foul and very obvious. Unfortunately.

          /triesnottosoundcreepy

        • +1

          @blue-dinosaur:

          Polaramine syrup for kids is delicious!

        • @blue-dinosaur: seroquel doesn't have much of a taste actually. When I was sick with a terrible sore throat I mixed crushed seroquel in honey and lemon water

        • @niggard: how many mg for the drink? I've only taken 25mg (for sedation, off label) and don't recall much trauma from taste but definitely benzos arghhhh the horror! That disgusting chemical taste as soon as they hit your tongue, that makes your stomach retch and say NO! >_<

        • +1

          @Myrtacaea: Ah, I've yet to try that. Making notes now. mmm

        • @blue-dinosaur: I've been prescribed seroquel for sleep (off label as well, was told it was non addictive) and I take 50-100mg, depending on how tired I am and how long I can afford to sleep for.

        • +1

          I know this isn't really the place for medical advice, but anyone reading this comment please be aware that Seroquel is a serious antipsychotic whose only on-label uses are schizophrenia and bipolar disorder or mania. It is now thought that tolerance and psychological dependence can develop. Additionally its use is associated with a number of potential side effects including weight gain, diabetes and heart attacks. There are very good reasons why it isn't registered as a sleeping agent

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