Obnoxious Patrons at Restaurant - Talking Loudly / Swearing

Hansi on 20/12/2020 - 14:02
Last edited 20/12/2020 - 14:41 by 1 other user

G'day everyone,

What do you think about other people at restaurants, when going out, who talk very loud or swear at a busy venue? Would you talk to them to change their behaviour? Ask them to be quiet? Has anyone had similar experiences?

Share your thoughts.

Our situation: Wanted to have a family dinner at a restaurant, but one table in particular with young people talked very loud / swore a lot and our family had young kids with us. Shortly after arrival we decided to leave due to this and went somewhere else.

Poll Options

  • 7
    Tolerate it - don't confront loud patrons
  • 6
    Ask loud patrons to be quiet
  • 132
    Ask the staff to intervene
  • 28
    Just leave the venue and go somewhere else
  • 13
    Bikies
Food & Grocery

Comments

  • AustriaBargain on 20/12/2020 - 14:09

    Do the thing which makes the owner the most money. Usually it is let them be loud, but if it annoys or offends other customers then it is ask them to be quiet. If the owner isn't profit driven and owns a restaurant for lifestyle reasons, they will do it themselves.

    As a customer, you have very little chance of quieting down another table, and every chance of pissing yourself off if you fail.

    • Hansi on 20/12/2020 - 20:20
      +1

      In my experience it just leads to worthless discussions, wasting my time - hence I now tend to just leave as it's not worth my time.

    • Baysew on 20/12/2020 - 15:40

      you should be going to high end restaurants and fine dining. That's more suitable for the romantic and family friendly scenarios.

      May not always pan out that way.

    • Hansi on 20/12/2020 - 20:22
      +1

      So you're saying there is no family friendly restaurant available to the average Joe unless you're splurging?

  • SF3 on 20/12/2020 - 14:39
    +4

    Depends on the type of restaurant whether your described behaviour is tolerated by the staff. Some places may have rougher patrons.

    You could ask the staff to manage it, rather than you confronting them, it is the restaurant’s premises after all. If staff can’t or won’t help, leaving (as you did) would be “justified” IMO.

    • Joe Teo on 20/12/2020 - 15:02
      -4

      Yeah, I'm surprised the OP hasn't even bothered to write what type of restaurant.

      It could just be the normal scene. I'm seriously not sure why people downvote, but hey, the truth burns them.

      Some explanation to why a certain comment is incorrect would be good, but I think people know what I said is true, but it's not deemed to be socially acceptable, even though it happens all the time.

      It's a bit like swearing, you hear it a lot and you become desensitized to it. It's like when you hear a cop swearing when he arrests someone, that's not socially acceptable, but we live with it and look the other way because they are enforcing the law.

    • Hansi on 20/12/2020 - 20:27
      +1

      FWIW: was a Japanese / Sushi restaurant.

      The problem wasn't so much people enjoying themselves, but yelling and loud swearing. I think it is tolerable to some extent, but seemed over the top and inconsiderate in this particular situation.

      I have been to many restaurants where people are loud and enjoy themselves - most of the time this fits the other patrons and vibe of the restaurant though as opposed to just one group of people behaving differently to everyone else.

      • p1 ama on 21/12/2020 - 01:53
        -1

        The problem wasn't so much people enjoying themselves, but yelling and loud swearing. I think it is tolerable to some extent, but seemed over the top and inconsiderate in this particular situation.

        There are always going to be people who are doing things you don't like. If it bothers you that much, then you can just stay away from said people.

        There are plenty of restaurants out there, plenty of places to do, things to see. Life is short, why get so worked up about something that seems to be so trivial?

        I personally wouldn't try to intervene or challenge them. Again, life is short, why get mired up in conflict to just drag out an unpleasant situation? Plus, you never know who you could piss off. Trying to reason with drunk people is dangerous. Could easily be a left, right, goodnight.

  • Meho2026 on 20/12/2020 - 15:15
    +3

    That was me and my mates.
    We were glad when you left. All the tutting and filthy looks were ruining our night, it made us swear even louder.

    • Peck on 21/12/2020 - 10:56
      +1

      "My mates and I"

      • pat25d on 22/12/2020 - 08:09

        Actually it should be "my mates and me" - take 'my mates' out and you wouldn't say "That was I".

        • Peck on 22/12/2020 - 15:35

          I'd rather my mates take me out!

  • iNeed2Pee on 20/12/2020 - 15:19
    +13

    You know what irritates me.
    Parents that allow their children to make an absolute disgusting mess with the table, and actually walk away leaving it like that for the waiters to clean it up.

    Disgusting pigs.

    • KaTst3R on 20/12/2020 - 15:45
      +15

      Or parents that allow their kids to run around the restaurant like its Disneyland. Really inconsiderate to other patrons.

      • iNeed2Pee on 20/12/2020 - 15:48
        +2

        Then give you the excuse "they are kids, let them be kids". Until one of them slips over….then will blame the nearest staff they can find.

      • ShannonN on 20/12/2020 - 20:07
        +1

        Thats the Maccas influence with the playgrounds parent just leave the kids and do what they like so when kids go to a class venue they just run riot as normal

    • morse on 20/12/2020 - 20:07
      +1

      To be fair though, we don’t know how OPs kids behave. I carry wipes and a takeaway container and put all the scraps in to take home to throw
      out and wipe everything down before we leave. Most places see me doing this and say it’s unnecessary but I do it anyway. Most mums I know do the same. Some even carry a splat mat and put it down. I also don’t let my kid run around unless the venue says it’s okay (some have specific kids areas), and then it’s not far. I have had someone’s random kid start hitting me in a cafe once before, and the parent rolled their eyes when I asked if they could stop them, so I know what you mean.

      • Hansi on 20/12/2020 - 20:30
        +2

        We clean up after our kids, because I do not believe it's fair on the staff considering little children often drop food - babies do not yet know how to eat.

      • iNeed2Pee on 20/12/2020 - 20:32
        +1

        Sorry, I wasn't having a go at OP….It was just an observation about what I hate patrons doing…and I am not in hospitality:)

        • Hansi on 20/12/2020 - 22:42
          +1

          I'm with you, seen exactly what you described many times.

      • AustriaBargain on 20/12/2020 - 20:43

        Taking your scraps to throw away at home is going a little far. I bet some restaurants with foreign owners might even be offended that they didn't get the opportunity to serve you by wiping your table for you and putting your scraps in their own bin.

        • morse on 20/12/2020 - 20:52
          +1

          I don’t think they are offended. We only take our kids food scraps (not ours) as we usually take some of our own food like veggies if they don’t sell any (one of our favourites doesn’t), as well as buying off the menu for him. It probably is over kill but you can cop a lot of judgement as a parent, so I try to keep everyone happy. One local cafe has a $7.50 cleaning surcharge if you don’t order off their kids menu for kids over 12months.

    • badg3rz on 21/12/2020 - 20:46

      I take it that your a waiter or waitress then?

      • iNeed2Pee on 21/12/2020 - 21:11
        +3

        I actually am not!
        I just feel somewhat bad if I leave a table in a mess.
        Just doesn't sit well with me.

  • Donaldhump on 20/12/2020 - 16:12
    +2

    Accept the world is littered with gronks and you can’t avoid them.

  • p1 ama on 20/12/2020 - 17:47

    Wanted to have a family dinner at a restaurant, but one table in particular with young people talked very loud / swore a lot and our family had young kids with us.

    Lol. Your kids swear at school. You just don't know it. (Source: I used to be a teacher).

    • SF3 on 20/12/2020 - 19:08
      +1

      Where else can they practice “safely” and have peer validation? :)

    • bassmaniac69 on 21/12/2020 - 14:58

      This!! Source - I used to swear at school! :)

  • [Deactivated] on 20/12/2020 - 17:54
    -3

    Talking Loudly / Swearing

    Aussie convict blood is still very rampart.

    Finish your meal and go elsewhere, cant take the aussie out of australia

    • Hansi on 20/12/2020 - 20:31
      +3

      Is swearing something you should really be proud of or wouldn't it be better to be considerate and adapt to your surroundings?

      • [Deactivated] on 20/12/2020 - 22:34
        +2

        swearing something you should really be proud

        This is australia, the only country that rewards stupidity

        • Forfiet on 21/12/2020 - 10:30
          +2

          Have you actually seen the 'world'…..Especially this year…..

    • Ghost47 on 20/12/2020 - 23:00

      Haha why were you downvoted? It’s estimated 20% of white Australians are descendants from convicts.

      • [Deactivated] on 20/12/2020 - 23:04
        +1

        20%

        Much higher than that…

        • Ghost47 on 20/12/2020 - 23:36

          Really? From what I’ve read that’s the estimate. Unless you’re saying something I’m not getting…

  • morse on 20/12/2020 - 19:59

    It’s a tricky one, as this kind of thing is pretty common especially at this time of year. Your only real option is to ask the staff to intervene or go elsewhere. If you ask the staff to intervene it probably won’t last long as chances are the loud table has been drinking and don’t care. If the restaurant isn’t full, you could also ask to move to a different table further away.

  • ShannonN on 20/12/2020 - 20:10
    +1

    Depends on the area and location, some areas are very rough and drug/alcohol influenced say the wrong comment to the wrong guy and bang coward punch?

    I don't have kids but hate the thought of little kids under 7 having to put up with foul language and worse T shirts with the F word or C&*T on them as uni students like wearing

    • AustriaBargain on 20/12/2020 - 20:45
      -1

      I thought we were allowed to say those words here. I don't want to risk the penalty box to test it, but I'm pretty sure we can. The F word anyway.

      • ProlapsedHeinous on 20/12/2020 - 21:46

        What? like (profanity)? Oh yeah you can (profanity) swear all you (profanity) want on here and the (profanity) just make it say profanity instead. its a (profanity) great system those (profanity) provide. (profanity)

        • AustriaBargain on 21/12/2020 - 08:29

          And I'm guessing we've got masks as avatars because someone thought they were worth censoring too huh.

      • avoidfullprice on 21/12/2020 - 08:29

        Fancy

  • Ghost47 on 20/12/2020 - 23:01

    I see you’re in Sydney. May I ask what ethnicity these people were? Just curious.

    • HelpMeiCantSee on 21/12/2020 - 08:39

      Australian? Damned effniks

      • Ghost47 on 21/12/2020 - 09:42

        I wouldn’t consider myself to be Australian first and foremost, no.

    • Hansi on 21/12/2020 - 14:49

      My guess would be Australian Born Chinese based on their conversation and appearance

      I didn't include this originally as I don't deem it relevant, but happy to answer questions.

  • avoidfullprice on 21/12/2020 - 08:33

    I would ask the staff to ask them to be quiet, saying you can't have a proper conversation at your table.

    I doubt you can do anything with the language here. I mean if they were swearing in a foreign language, and you happen you understand that language, the other patrons still won't be as offended as you do.

  • HelpMeiCantSee on 21/12/2020 - 08:37
    -3

    Loud does not necessarily mean obnoxious. And doesn’t mean they’re swearing too.

    Anti social is very different to just loud. Restaurants can be noisy places. Kids, especially young kids can be very loud.

    If you can’t tolerate loud, probably should consider going elsewhere. If a persons behaviour bothers you, it’s your choice to walk away or intervene.

    “Asking” a staff member to deal with it is spineless.

    • Bob Svargis on 21/12/2020 - 08:57
      +2

      Problem is, asking another table to cut the foul language in Sydney may result in you being bashed/stabbed/threatened or have a nasty surprise waiting for you when you walk out.

    • Hansi on 21/12/2020 - 14:54
      +2

      I try to remain impartial, which is obviously not always possible as everyone is bias in some way.

      I don't see how sentences like "F that c, I'll f that dog c" when being 3m away from young children would go down easy anywhere. And they were speaking English 100% off the time, so there was no misunderstanding there.

  • saltypete on 21/12/2020 - 09:38

    Give the restaurant owner a chance. Explain the problem and let them move you and speak to the rude folk. If you are not happy, leave, making it clear why.
    Not appropriate for you to speak to the other patrons at all. Who promoted you to noise and language marshal in someone’s restaurant? The other noisy lot are also their guests and restaurant’s job to manage.

    • Hansi on 21/12/2020 - 14:58

      Good point you're bringing up here, as the boundaries of ownership and behaviour in public are somewhat fluent for a restaurant where everyone can go.

  • OzHunterNSW on 21/12/2020 - 10:49
    -5

    At time of writing, 92 have suggested to leave. But you didn't did you.
    Maybe you like the atmosphere and wish to engage as well, otherwise you would have left in protest. I bet you even left a tip.

    • Hansi on 21/12/2020 - 14:57
      +1

      Hey mate, please see the last sentence in my origins post: "Shortly after arrival we decided to leave due to this and went somewhere else."

      We left before we ordered food as I wanted to enjoy my meal and limited time with family as opposed to having to worry about other things. In this instance I didn't believe it was worth the hassle.

    • Baysew on 21/12/2020 - 15:32
      +3

      At time of writing, 92 have suggested to leave

      I'm no data analyst, but I can only see 21.

      • Speckled Jim on 21/12/2020 - 18:25

        Yep, I'm #23.
        Xmas cheer, innit?

  • badg3rz on 21/12/2020 - 20:52
    +1

    I would let the restaurant, even better - the manager know that you won't be eating here, spending money here, and that you will find somewhere else to eat at, because of all the foul language that is being spoken. Don't even give them a chance to fix the problem, as they have let it go to far themselves.

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