2.5 Year Old Diagnosis for Autism

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    petry on 13/04/2021 - 14:11

    +6

    its when the teens start that the real issues begin. i would suggest if sadly they do start that you do not delay formalising a diagnosis.

    good luck

  • 

    GourmetFoodie on 13/04/2021 - 20:04

    +2

    You should see the comment chain above about children who don’t receive an official diagnosis until adulthood and the negative impact of that.

    • 

      soan papdi on 15/04/2021 - 20:48

      Ignoring symptoms (therefore providing no assistance) is different to avoiding labels too early. My son doesn't show most of the classic symptoms in the spectrum. He has responded very well (till now) to intervention. He's still young. We still can get an official diagnosis if it's needed later on, just that we prefer to wait and watch for next few years.

  • 

    max19832002 on 17/04/2021 - 12:42

    PM’d you ggop. Please check your inbox😃

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  David2017 on 13/04/2021 - 14:19

  +7

  Autism is measured on a spectrum. Just because his hearing is fine doesn't mean he isn't on the spectrum. An initial diagnosis can be quite a shock however what you need to find out is what he's struggling with, how to get help and from who. It sounds like the speech pathologist and OT are doing some of this. Forget whatever the label is. If he doesn't interact with other kids or take instructions then he's already different and will be treated differently no matter what you think or want. It's not about you, it's about what's best for him. His hand flapping sounds like stimming which is present in kids with autism.

  Whatever behaviour you're experiencing now will probably change over time. If you have the proper diagnosis and people working with you they can prepare you for what may happen next and how to cope now. My nephew has autism and his behaviour changed as he got older. He'd stop doing one thing and everyone would think "oh he's OK now" and I'd be saying "but now he's doing this instead". I lost count the amount of times this happened. I spent years saying "sure he's been diagnosed with ADHD and you've done all the scans but what's wrong with him?" ADHD is just a symptom just like stimming. It took another ten years before anyone listened and he finally got an autism diagnosis. His behaviour now is borderline ridiculous and most of his school friends and family refuse to be in the same space as him. If he'd got a diagnosis sooner most of the things he does that upsets people could have been worked on. By the time you get to 16 your behaviour and personality are pretty well set in stone.

  I have other friends who I suspected their kids had autism and over time they've been diagnosed too. They're all different as are the symptoms and it's especially hard to spot in girls depending on where they are on the spectrum.

  My advice, talk to your doctor and anyone and everyone (including psychologists, paediatricians and occupational therapists) you can find who might be able to help. Sometimes it takes 6-12 months just to see a specialist and what you're worried about now might be different by the time you get there. These specialists change jobs, take maternity leave and move interstate so it's a constant battle trying to keep specialists working with you. Leaving this until he's older is probably the worst thing you can do.

  Do what the experts suggest is best for your child which it sounds like you've done for the past few months. If you disagree with someone then get another opinion from another expert. If you don't think there's a problem and the experts think there is and you don't do anything about it then you'll be in for a hell of a ride for the rest of your life. If it does turn out to be autism there will most likely be someone in your family if you think hard enough and be honest about it that is on the spectrum too. From what I've seen it's mostly genetic. My nephew's dad is almost certainly it. Most of my friends it's definitely dads genes and in others I'd bet my life it's the mum. It could be mum, dad, grandparents, aunties or uncles.

  Good luck.

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  jv on 13/04/2021 - 14:21

  +10

  the doctor was expecting him to comb doll hair and feed her with spoon.

  My boys would have kicked the doll like a football… Doctor would probably have concluded from that they will grow up to be wife beaters…

  and when doctor gave him comb he combed his hair instead of doll's.

  Sounds like a smart kid…

  Try and immerse him in more social stuff, as long as he is enjoying it, don't force him…
  Involve him in team sport at an early age to engage with other kids.
  He will be fine, we are all on a spectrum of some sort… If we weren't, it wouldn't be a spectrum.

  • 

    ihbh on 13/04/2021 - 18:35

    that they will grow up to be wife beaters…

    or professional wrestlers

  • 

    cookie2 on 15/04/2021 - 22:49

    Liked your comment. You sounded really genuine & well said. 👌

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  NatoTomato on 13/04/2021 - 14:22

  +3

  I had trouble with speech as a kid, turned out I had a tongue-tie which was causing me issue. Granted, I probably would be put on the spectrum, but was never professionally labeled or tested. But we got the tongue tie sorted and I haven't had any issue.

  Go see a specialist, or get a second / third opinion.

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  usbc activist on 13/04/2021 - 14:28

  +5

  It is a spectrum. It is extremely broad. One end of spectrum, you find severely disabled people who needs external support in their day to day activities. The other end of the spectrum are high functioning who go on to become path breaking scientists, world champions and world changers. There are also everyone in between.

  If you are not sure about the diagnosis, plan the assessment just before the school age.By that time you get a clear idea.
  If not autism spectrum, there could be other factors impacting which can be assessed

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  morse on 13/04/2021 - 14:28

  +1

  If you're not 100% convinced that your kid has an autism spectrum disorder and you're doing early intervention therapies anyway, there isn't a definite need to put a label on it at this time. The most important thing is that he's getting any help he needs to reach his full potential. So you could approach things as if he has the diagnosis but not put a label on it at this stage, the only difference being you're likely to pay out of your own pocket for the therapies, which you say you're fine with. You could revisit it in 3-6months time and get an opinion from a different specialist. If it does eventually look like he is on the autism spectrum then remember that there are some amazing people on the spectrum and focus on supporting him wherever his life takes him (like you would with any child). The only other consideration is if his educators have the support they need to look after him and the other kids in his room. At the moment it sounds like this isn't an issue, if that changes that might be time to start looking whether the diagnosis is appropriate and helpful.

  • 

    Quantumcat on 13/04/2021 - 19:52

    +3

    Without a diagnosis you won't have access to most therapies, and without a guiding GP you won't know which therapies are most useful

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      morse on 13/04/2021 - 20:03

      +1

      Yeah this is true, but it sounds like this situation is a bit borderline and the diagnosis is driven by NDIS funding from the doc- probably hoping to set the family up well into the future. If the family is uncomfortable for any reason, a rest pause seems like an okay idea whilst speech therapy continues. Early intervention is important, but that can go on without a diagnosis.

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  Muzeeb on 13/04/2021 - 14:34

  +12

  So good to see so many members with real life experiences sharing. Good on ya.

  Treat this as a positive op. No one cares or will judge if your child is autistic or not. Just follow medical advice and do what is best for your child.

  • 

    battler on 13/04/2021 - 16:32

    +4

    unfortunately it is opposite. people who do not understand mental illness will judge.
    it is that stigma that has cost our family some very close friends. They simply do not understand the daily struggles. OP should expect the same. Family may also not understand.

    but agree, good to see some constructive feedback on OzB.

    OP must get support from others who have been in same situation.

    • 

      Quantumcat on 13/04/2021 - 19:49

      +7

      There's no rule saying that if your child has been diagnosed with something you have to tell the whole world. Having a diagnosis will make zero difference in how your child will be treated - EXCEPT that by choosing to tell people there's an explanation for strange behaviour and they may be more patient and accommodating. If you choose not to tell people and your child has a meltdown adults might think he is just terribly behaved, and by treating him like any other child they might cause more distress and meltdowns to occur. Whereas if they know, and have been told what signs to look for and strategies that help, the child will have a much easier time. Refusing a diagnosis isn't going to change the child, you're just losing possible tools that will help.

      There's absolutely no disadvantage to having a diagnosis.

    • 

      max19832002 on 17/04/2021 - 12:49

      +2

      So true mate, we had a close friend who kept saying my 3 year old behaved like the Shaun Murphy the lead doctor on “The Good Doctor”. My wife felt so bad. We had to cut all ties as he repeated it twice.

      We have slowly experienced the same thing. To hell with idiots who do not understand what parents can go through. Our son is a lovely young boy and is progressing everyday😃

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  Lysander on 13/04/2021 - 14:37

  +4

  You have already answered your own question.
  If the reason the doctor wants to put him into autism spectrum is NDIS but you do not need the financial help, then decline the doctor's well -intended offer and pay for any sessions privately.
  That way there is no label attached to your little fella.

  Other than that, I would agree with the people saying "Do what is best for your child" but as I understand that is what you are concerned about.
  And I totally get where you are coming from.

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  bargain huntress on 13/04/2021 - 14:49

  +3

  Don't panic.

  First thing:
  I strongly recommend you contact one or two autism support organisations. It is ok that you and he don't have a diagnosis at the moment. And it is ok that you are very skeptical about the possibility. They will understand, and they will have advice, and a parent support group.
  I can't tell where you are. There are several autism support orgs, in several states.
  You seem pretty convinced he is not very afflicted so i'd strongly suggest you contact Aspergers Services Australia also. They are in QLD but are the only Aspergers level organisation in the country. (With the recent integration of Aspergers into the Autistic Spectrum, the other groups have had to learn quickly to include them (not necessarily by choice), but ASA has years of experience with children and adults at the Aspergers end of the spectrum.) https://asperger.asn.au/

  Second thing:
  What kind of doctor is this? And what kind of patients does he/she see 90% of the time? If the answer to the second question is not Autistic and/or Aspergers children, then you should seek a second opinion. At the very least for your peace of mind.
  Find a specialist in Autism and/or Aspergers. There is no official formal specialty in the area, which is a problem, because it means that doctors of various kinds, and therapists of various kinds, study a few weeks about autism and believe themselves adequate at diagnosing and treating it. Unfortunately as it is extremely complex that is just not the case.
  A good place to find the right person - who may be a doctor, or a clinical psychologist - would be one of those support organisations that I mentioned.

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  try2bhelpful on 13/04/2021 - 15:09

  +6

  I wouldn't worry about the label; if they are willing to give you money to provide therapy sessions to assist your child I would take it with both hands. If the therapy helps his current development issues then it doesn't matter what they have labelled him. Believe me NDIS will be more than happy to rescind the label if they think the kid has got "better". All the best with helping your child.

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  brad1-8tsi on 13/04/2021 - 15:32

  +2

  Get a 2nd or even third opinion.

  OTOH, there are plenty of high functioning people out there with autism.

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  deme on 13/04/2021 - 15:56

  +1

  just fyi we are bi-lingual and speak 2 languages at home).

  No expert here and I don't have kids, but a friend recently told me she stopping trying to teach their kid two languages at once and now the boy speaks well. I don't know if this is a causal link or not but something to consider.

  • 

    bargain huntress on 13/04/2021 - 16:31

    +4

    it does cause a delay, but the benefits in adulthood are having deep understanding of two languages with no accent, and no cares about the delay by then

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  SF3 on 13/04/2021 - 16:02

  +1

  Einstein, a certified genius, was also a late talker (according to some biographers). He didn't speak full sentences until he was 5 years old. Einstein's speech delay clearly wasn't an impediment to his intellectual prowess and awe-inspiring accomplishments.

  Hope this makes you feel better.

  It seems modernity has a tendency to label everything. Seems like every kid has a problem :(… To sound cynical, there is an industry whose job is to find "problems"… 2.5y is still quite a young age IMHO, everyone develops at a difference pace, just that modern times says if you don't follow a standard you have a problem…

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  MrHyde on 13/04/2021 - 16:06

  +6

  As others have mentioned Autism is a spectrum; its not black or white.

  My youngest son was diagnosed as being on the Autism spectrum at 4 or 5 years old. Like your son, at home, he displayed no symptoms that we could see. He ate well; he played well with his brother. He started talking a bit later than most other kids; but once he started talking; he would not stop talking (atleast at home).

  However, outside; he was a different person. He is very anxious when going to new locations. When he started Prep; the first year was very difficult. He would happily get up in the morning, get dressed and look forward to going to school; but as soon as it was time for him to go to his class; he would start crying. He would not respond to his teachers and would not talk to or play with anyone else in his class. That is when we got him tested. The psychologist gave him some toys to play with to observe him and he absolutely refused to touch any of the toys. We must have been at her office for half the day and she could not get him to say anything or do anything.

  She then spend a day in the classroom to watch him there - but he knew she was there; so did not make eye contact and avoiding doing anything. Thats when she diagnosed him as being on the spectrum. In terms of therapy we didnt do anything at all. The teachers recognised how to deal with him and how to tell when he about to have one of his crying episodes and had figured out ways to stop him from getting to that stage.

  Things we/school/teachers learnt
  - he is good at tasks - give him a task and he will do it. give him an open ended task like creative play and he would struggle.
  - he did not like change. As long as the class routine was the same every day; he was managing.
  - he had one friend and as long as she was near by; he would mostly be fine.

  In Year 1, some things that helped the transition from Prep - his Prep teacher became his Grade 1 teacher. His friend was also put into the same class as him to give him that feeling of things being the same.

  I still remember us getting a call from school and his teacher in Grade 1 one day. Our first thought was that its the school asking if we can come and take him home cause they have not been able to calm him down. But, it was his teacher saying that he had said hello to her for the first time in 18 months, unprompted.

  Now, all of this sounds not good; but we just thought he had anxiety issues and was shy around others. He is now in Grade 5 and I dont think anyone looking can say he is on the spectrum. Academically, he is ahead of his peers. He doesn't have many friends - maybe one or two and he is not that close to them either. He would much rather play at home with his brother than go play with his friends. He does play cricket and gets along well with his team mates high fiving wickets and calling out in the batting and fielding and taking active part in all parts of the game. His anxiety is much more under control. He has no issues going to the shops to buy chocolate for himself on his bike on his own; but he wont go to buy milk for the house. He has no issues talking to strangers as long as it is in his interest. If not, he will just ignore others. He still struggles with creative play and he is more task oriented than creative.

  I have no concerns for his future and we don't mention to others that he is on the spectrum. None can tell. He is just shy and his personality is more introverted than others.

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  mbck on 13/04/2021 - 18:11

  +2

  There was an article about this and how the fact autism/spectrum is now widespread, there has been an increase in diagnosis. The issue was overdiagnosing.

  • 

    TEER3X on 13/04/2021 - 18:12

    Link to said article?

    • 

      mbck on 13/04/2021 - 18:16

      Trying to find it. It was in the morning

    • 

      mbck on 13/04/2021 - 18:17

      https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.abc.net.au/article/10006416…

      Here it is

      And here is the study the author is proposing:

      https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/9/11/e032327.long

  • 

    petry on 13/04/2021 - 18:45

    +2

    That was ADHD - its completely different. Over diagnosis of ADHD is a relative constant and cyclical media story.

    'Autism spectrum disorder is a series of related developmental disorders that can affect language skills, behaviour, social interactions and the ability to learn.

    ADHD is a common neurodevelopment disorder which impacts the way the brain grows and develops, making it harder to pay attention, sit still or think before acting.

    Some people have both autism and ADHD.'

    'There are a few subtle differences in how children with autism and ADHD behave.

    The first difference lies with their attention span:

    A child with autism may find it hard to concentrate on a task that doesn’t interest them. Yet, if they find something interesting, it will absorb them for hours on end.
    However, the attention span of a child with ADHD is likely to be short, even when they are doing something they love.
    

    The next difference revolves around communication. Children with either condition may find it hard to interact with others – but in different ways:

    A child with autism may find it hard to express their emotions, and they may not use the common cues of conversation like gestures or eye contact.
    A child with ADHD, on the other hand, may talk non-stop, always interrupting and not really noticing how their words affect others.'
    

    etc

    • 

      mbck on 13/04/2021 - 18:55

      -1

      Ah, my apologies. It was not my intention to lump them together, but thank you for defining both.

      Considering it may be happening with adhd, I wonder if autism as a condition is also at risk of being overdiagnosed aswell.

      • 

        petry on 13/04/2021 - 20:35

        +2

        that would be difficult because if not done very early - ie before 5- there are very few qualified medical experts to do autism assessment in Australia.

  • 

    U4333439 on 15/04/2021 - 08:13

    Yeah, came here to post that. Heard the chat on the morning radio.

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  iridiumstem on 13/04/2021 - 19:29

  In short, I think you should talk with the expert who gave you that opinion and see what their opinion exactly is, share your concerns, get the reasoning behind their opinion. If you are in doubt talk with a different specialist.

  I am no expert and even if I were one I would not be able to give you an advice on what your son is going through based on what you have wrote.

  I have no test results in hand, I have not met your child or you in person or had a structured interview, etc etc.

  I personally think you should talk with the expert that you have been talking to, get their opinion and get their reasoning behind their opinion. Share your concerns and get their opinion on your concerns as well. If you believe that there is a problem with their opinion, take their reasoning along with the test results they have gotten and see another specialist and get a second opinion. Write your specialist an email or give them a call even?

  The doctor's role and a psychologist's role is to help you, their priority is your child. I am sure whoever the expert was, their intention was to help. I think if you have concerns, the best option is to chat with them.

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  lbsyc on 13/04/2021 - 19:55

  +1

  Here is a story from ABC that might give you a different perspective about labeling and what it might mean to the child.

  https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-04-12/the-untold-story-of-m…

  • 

    petry on 13/04/2021 - 20:39

    +3

    which is completely different to the real dangers faced with undiagnosed autism.

    Labelling is a means to discriminate and attack anyone employed by the vast majority of people for any reason they care to employ, including they feel like it.

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  ilmenite on 13/04/2021 - 22:54

  +1

  As has been said, there is a spectrum ranging from having some autistic characteristics, but not sufficient to get a formal diagnosis, to having every characteric. The standard used is the DSM5 scale, this gives the criteria. For the diagnosis the child needs to be seen by a developmental peadeatric specialist, a psychologist (possibly psychiatrist) specialising in such diagnoses and a speech therapist with appropriate training. All three do a series of tests across a number of different areas, including play skills, speech etc and need to decide for each area whether the child meets the criteria. Once complete, there is a meeting and all three have to agree on the diagnosis.
  There are three levels of ASD recognised, numbered 1 to 3. Level 1 is for a child showing the least number of characteristics, but more than the minimum required for a formal diagnosis, levels 2 and 3 are for increasing numbers of characteristics.
  In the public system it can take 6-12 months to get a diagnosis, this varies between states. Privately all tests are possible to be completed in a single day with a diagnosis relatively quickly. It can be hard to get a diagnosis before 3yo, unless they meet many criteria. Borderline cases can take longer as some kids, notably girls, are good at hiding their characteristics.
  From an NDIS perspective, once there is a diagnosis, funding becomes available. The general view is that therapy should start as early as possible to the best outcome. Once the child starts school getting therapy appointments get much harder as most afterschool places are booked well in advance by existing, longterm clients. Funding is dependent on what you want to achieve, funding for therapy 2-3 times a week is possible.
  My suggestion is read the DSM5 diagnosis criteria as this gives an idea of what things to look for. If your child seems to meet a couple of criteria, push for an appointment with a paedeatrician ASAP to get the ball rolling.

  EDIT: search for "dsm 5 autism checklist pdf" and you can find a lot of very useful links

  • 

    iridiumstem on 13/04/2021 - 23:09

    +4

    Please don't read DSM-5 and go I have x,y,z, because I feel like I match the diagnostic criteria for x, y and z.
    It's like googling your symptoms.

    DSM-5 is made for people who have studied and have been trained as a psychologist. It is a manual that's meant to aid psychologists. It is not written for the general public, and what is written on there has to be taken with that in mind.

    As I said, it's like googling your symptoms on Google. Just go straight to the professionals is my personal opinion.

    • 

      ilmenite on 15/04/2021 - 20:52

      I wasn't suggesting trying self-diagnosis, it requires three highly skilled professional to do that. It was simply so the OP could see what types of behaviour are assessed and some of the more typical traits. It can be very hard to distinguish between what is normal behaviour for a 3yo and autistic behaviour.
      In case of doubt, see a specialist.

      • 

        iridiumstem on 15/04/2021 - 21:41

        +1

        I didn't think you were, but you know, it was more for others who might have read your comment that and go, why not have a look at DSM-5?
        It's easy to get hold of the DSM-5, so I thought I might as well give a heads up to everyone.

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  PangolinAttack on 13/04/2021 - 23:16

  +11

  I have a child with autism. The shock of the diagnosis and what it means is immense. There is grief that goes with this news and I’m very sorry you are going through this. All I can give you is my perspective coming out the other end where I now know my child is definitely autistic. It sounds like you will do the therapy regardless, so your main concern seems to be what does the diagnosis mean for the child. I think the diagnosis is helpful for the child.

  If your child has deficiencies the diagnosis will help your child understand why they are different and it helps get them support in school if they struggle socially. It helps people easily understand they have particular needs and to make accommodations. It also means your child won’t be labelled as difficult or something worse. Autism doesn’t have the stigma attached as it used to. I’ll come back to this point.

  If you doubt the diagnosis, do the therapy and reassess later if your child is fine and no longer qualifies there is no harm done, they’ll get undiagnosed. The diagnostic process is never perfect. You always hope this is the case but with time if it is clearer that your child is different you will be thankful that you started the journey.

  What is it like going through society when you are autistic and don’t have the label and just knowing you don’t fit but don’t know why? Sir Anthony Hopkins is a good example of this. His early years were a misery as he thought he was a failure was told he was stupid and felt that he was and almost drunk himself to death as a way of coping with his failures. Society is a lot different now so his life may not be entirely applicable but he does talk about having the diagnosis helps him to understand why he functions differently and why he struggles in some aspects of his life. The point being having a diagnosis is not necessarily a bad label to have for your child and can be constructive for them personally.

  He isn’t the only celebrity with autism - the list is surprising it includes Dan Aykroyd. I won’t carry on but there are many celebrated people that openly embrace that they are on autism spectrum.

  Best of luck to you and your family during this tricky time. My advice is to embrace the diagnosis for the moment ask lots of questions and do as much therapy as you can. Apply for NDIS early that process takes forever.

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  ntz88 on 13/04/2021 - 23:54

  +4

  My son had the exact same symptoms as your son. We are also bilingual and he started to talk at 3. Our doctor also thought he might be autistic but he turned out fine after a while. Get a second opinion but there's nothing wrong with getting him the help and support he needs at a young age.

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  fossilfuel on 14/04/2021 - 00:05

  +29

  I hope this doesn't get buried. I'm working in schools and training as a psychologist. I can provide some general points but discuss this further with your paediatrician. Shoot me a PM if you want to chat further.

  tl;dr: Ask your paediatrician about getting ADOS-2 and ADI-R assessments. Call the AASS on 1300 222 777 (24 hours) for advice - about assessments and you and your wifes feelings about your son's presentation

  • The Griffiths does not measure Autism. It's a developmental assessment with a series of play based activities to assess for suspected global developmental delay. Kids at 2.5 years are too young to engage with an cognitive/IQ assessment to determine whether their intellectual abilities are affected which is why a paediatrician/psychiatrist/psychologist administers the Griffiths. It'll probably be helpful to get a full cognitive and functional assessment completed by a psychologist before your son goes to school if there are concerns about his intellectual capabilities. The school will usually flag this with the parents too.

  • Best practice is for the paediatrician to have speech assessment and psychological assessment data before formalising an Autism diagnosis. Has your son had a speech assessment before engaging with speech? The gold standard for psychological assessment of Autism is the ADOS-2 and ADI-R. The ADOS-2 can be done by a paediatrician/psychiatrist/psychologist and it's an observation of the child's play and interaction skills. The ADI-R is a structured interview with the parents to gather information to help distinguish whether your son's presentation is consistent with Autism or may be explained by another disorder. Talk to your paediatrician about this.

  It was a big blow for us. My wife is really upset and cried many times coz of this diagnosis. The doctor has given us time to think about it and we have to go back next week.

  It sounds like you and your wife are in shock. It's very upsetting when your child has delays and suspected Autism. I strongly recommend giving the Autism Advisory and Support Service a call. Their number is 1300 222 777 and it's a 24 hour hotline. They are brilliant. You don't need to have a child with Autism to call, the staff will give you excellent feedback and guidance.

  Our concern is that we don't want to label our child at such a young age. He is not disabled. Except for his speech and receptive language, I don't see any issue with him.

  This is the information you gave us:
  He has no speech yet. His receptive language is also not very good. He cannot take simple instructions like " come here", "drink water" etc. He sometimes does hand flapping when he gets excited. He doesn't engage with other kids in childcare but he do parallel play which as per his childcare educators is normal at this young age.

  I think the earlier these issues are investigated/assessed, the better the outcomes are for your son. Early (and intensive) intervention is key to addressing the concerns above.

  Our biggest concern is that once they put him on autism spectrum. He will be treated differently everywhere like, school, playgroups etc.

  I've seen both ends of the spectrum.

  I have parents who are supportive, get their child diagnosed early, engage them in early and intensive intervention and by the time their child is in Kindergarten, they fit perfectly into mainstream. They make friends, play with other kids, learn and progress well in class and don't need any more support. I knew a student who presented similar to your son in Kinder and recently they've made it into Selective.

  On the other end, I have parents with children who clearly have Autism and have not engaged them with assessment or intervention. Their child was verbal in early childhood then became non-verbal towards the late primary years. Ultimately the parents placed their child in a special school as the child's needs were too high/severe to be catered for in a support class.

  If you're in the NSW, this is a great toolkit/info pack to look at regarding school.

  Notify your local school 1 year before your son starts primary school about his needs. This will help the school plan and make sure the right supports are in place when your son starts Kindergarten. Arrange a meeting with either the Principal, Deputy Principal, Assistant Principal of Kindergarten, Learning Support Teacher and/or School Counsellor and bring all specialist reports.

  • 

    mooie on 14/04/2021 - 10:43

    +5

    My mother-in-law is a Early-Childhood Specialist, and she 100% agrees.
    She's always talking shit about the Griffiths test, and how the results are open to interpretation from the assessor.

    • 

      fossilfuel on 16/04/2021 - 22:14

      +2

      I do think the Griffiths has its place. It's very difficult to assess a young child's cognitive abilities due to their limited language and motor skills so assessing their play based problem solving skills is the next best thing. It's also very hard to get young kids to sit still for 2 seconds. There are specific behaviours that clinicians look out for to determine the complexity of a child's problem solving skills.

      It's also useful for NDIS and might help clinicians determine suitable intervention recommendations e.g Below chronological age Eye and Hand Coordination and Gross Motor might result in an occupational therapy referral, below chronological age Language and Communication might be a speech referral and below chronological age Personal-Social-Emotional could warrant a psychologist referral etc.

  • 

    nakahanap on 15/04/2021 - 19:50

    +3

    If I could upvote this more I would.

    Talk to your childcare/day care, if they are not already involved. They can provide documentation/observations to help with the assessment process.

    And, be kind to yourself. The diagnosis is a shock but knowing gives you access to resources and support.

    • 

      fossilfuel on 16/04/2021 - 22:17

      Thanks mate, I appreciate it.

      Some early learning centres have their own developmental checklists which they complete and provide to the parents. Paediatricians or psychologists can also send functional assessments to childcare centres.

• 

  fifoo on 14/04/2021 - 00:07

  +6

  I haven't read all the comments but here are my 2 cents.

  My son went through something similar. He was born premature so we had more reason to think about these things than you. Our concern was speech delay (we are bilingual too). went through the process with GP and ended up with government funded program. Can't remember what it was called but we were allocated a speech therapist and other support team for 6 weeks. At the end, they did the test and advised he is on the spectrum. We didn't see it that way. They wanted to do the NDIS paperwork so we 'continue' working with him. it wasn't speech that they said put him on the spectrum, it was some 'movement' test. (sorry it was a while ago, I don't remember the exact terms)

  We were in shock, my wife left her job to focus on him. We went back to our GP for a second opinion. She is experienced and recommended we see a private speech therapist, with whom she has had great success on other speech delayed kids. With the referral, medicare did pay some rebate for up to 10 sessions in one calendar year.

  After our first appointment, it was like night and day. This speech therapist actually spent time with my son, tried to understand his challenges. After the session with him, she explained to us what we need to do and did a demo with him. She picked up on things that we were not told before during the previous 6 weeks of Speechy sessions.

  we did 4 or 5 sessions with the new speech therapist and there was a very significant change. he went from saying single words to making almost sentences. After that she told us to keep doing what she has shown us. No more appointments. After a few months, he caught up and now after 7 years doesn't shut up !

  if you are in Melbourne, message me and I'll pass you the details of our speech therapist. Not sure if she is still practicing but I hope she is because she's miracle worker !

  I'm not trying to say your speech therapist isn't up to it or anything. Just sharing my personal experience and opinion.

  TLDR; Please get a second opinion.

• 

  tmg316 on 14/04/2021 - 01:11

  +3

  Look - if a medical professional tells you say… that you've got cancer. Even if you don't believe them because you don't want to be labeled as a 'cancer' - it'd probably be worth listening to them (even if you don't feel like you have cancer). Best case scenario the medical professional is wrong and you are right and you don't have cancer at all. But in this scenario instead of unnecessary chemo - you've had extra speech pathology and OT. Basically someone to help your child with their writing and movement and speech. That sounds like a no brainer.

  Perhaps the reason why there is a stigma associated with ASD is because people like you perpetuate it.

• 

  Christoshizz on 14/04/2021 - 01:18

  +7

  Screw the label. Get the diagnosis. Take the funding. Funding means more appointments to help your son.

  You aren’t labelling him. It’s a technicality.

  My son is on the spectrum and has improved so much since getting more intervention.

  DM me if I can help.

• 

  Laurana on 14/04/2021 - 05:21

  +3

  I think some people are being very rough on the OP. He isn’t worrying about his autistic child being labelled as autistic, he doesn’t believe that his child is autistic based on the research he’s done on autism and its symptoms. My advice, OP, would be to seek a second or even third opinion and come to terms with the outcome.

  As many posters have said, if he is autistic then it’s more beneficial for him to know. You don’t have to disclose it to anyone if it’s not needed but as he gets older it’ll make him feel better knowing. Best of luck though.

  I have a similar experience to you in that my son is very delayed in his speech. To the point where I’ve really wondered if he’s in the spectrum and tried to seek help for him. However, other than anxiety in new places/people and the speech delay, he doesn’t exhibit any other signs of autism. We’ve taken it to a paediatrician who did a similar test to the one you’ve described and she didn’t think he was on the spectrum. I also tried to get him into an early intervention program, but it turns out that “playgroup” was just pushing us to get NDIS certification. They ended up submitting the forms I sent them to NDIS, but the latter turned down support because he was only delayed in one area and not more than 3. The paediatrician wasn’t worried on our follow up appointment six months ago. So I’m looking forward to the one next month because I’m still worried about him getting older and not getting more help. I might end up going to see a different doctor or paying for speech therapy out of pocket (which we can’t easily afford) if things don’t improve soon. But hopefully they will. Either way he’s the biggest sweetheart and I’m just grateful he’s happy and healthy.

• 

  Bob Svargis on 14/04/2021 - 07:39

  +4

  Why worry about labelling when your kid can get the treatment s/he needs if you have him/her diagnosed? No need to get emotional about it. Get it done. You don't have to declare it.

  As the father of an almost 16 year old autistic boy, I can tell you that the help is invaluable. He's a great kid and thanks to his treatment from age 6, most people wouldn't have the faintest clue that he has ASD.

  The treatment has helped us develop strategies to help him in life and I've seen parents struggle with their ASD kids because they refused to get the diagnosis, which is the worst thing you can do… in my experience.

• 

  fishing on 14/04/2021 - 07:41

  +2

  Contact Autism Community Network

  https://www.autismcommunity.org.au/

  You need support from experts, those living the journeys and those who have lived the journey.

  This parent group is unbelievably strong

• 

  snirodha on 14/04/2021 - 07:57

  -5

  Op change the diet and stick to a GF / CF diet. This will help your kids a lot and relive some of the autism symptoms. Do consult a professional doctor who knows what they are doing.

• 

  lesleigh on 14/04/2021 - 08:11

  +7

  I know I'm very late for this comment , but do not worry about the label its the content your child. My grandson was very similar to your child, but his parents did not want him labeled. We now have a very sad young man in his 20s no friends no life, and because of being brought up that way also very difficult to get him to seek help for himself. So please do not worry about labels ,its the child who could have a miserable life in front of him if he does not get the help now.

  • 

    petry on 14/04/2021 - 18:12

    +1

    Once you miss the paediatrician window for assessment and involvement in diagnosis then you are in trouble.

    assessment gets much more difficult, and expensive.

• 

  J6 on 14/04/2021 - 08:49

  +6

  Do you think you're just looking for advice that you want to hear?

  As others have said, it's just a diagnosis to get you help if you need it. He doesn't have to wear a badge.

  I'm a teacher and a lot of students require extra assistance. However, we don't have enough resources or funding to help these students as their parents refuse to get them tested. The parents are stubborn and too prideful to admit their child isn't like everyone else. It's frustrating.

• 

  sheebies on 14/04/2021 - 08:58

  +13

  When my son was 2.5 he had some very obvious language issues. A lot of people thought he would grow out of it. They seemed so insignificant at the time. Based on my research back then, he wasn't autistic. I could have written your post word for word back when my son was that age. I didn't want my son labelled as autistic either.

  Now he is 7 and those delays are more obvious than ever. I am beating my head against a wall trying to get him more support at school that he desperately needs and pushing to get him labelled as autistic because he needs one on one support at school.

  More support for your child isn't a bad thing. I had all the same concerns you have, but I wish I had done it, more than anything my son needs a different approach to education and learning, which is something his diagnosis would have enabled him to have.

  Please, please put your own feelings aside. Autism isn't a bad thing, do this for your son. If you find out later he doesn't need the support you don't HAVE to have it but if he needs that support then having that early diagnosis will be invaluable.

• 

  hopper on 14/04/2021 - 09:14

  +2

  Remember even if your doctor says he is Autistic, it can always change in the next Diagnosis. so its not lifetime. never loose ur hope. from ur description i can see its more like delay.
  I seen many children who were Diagnosed initially and later were out of spectrum. so miracles do happen. I'm waiting for mine to happen.

• 

  userid007 on 14/04/2021 - 09:15

  +6

  For op,

  The sooner you accept the reality , the sooner better. No body has to label anything and you dont have to tell anyone either. If your kid is not on ASD ( its a broad spectrum) and you get additional help that wont hurt. But if it is the other case around, you would regret big time and your kid would suffer.

  We have gone through this phase. You would not want to see grown up adults crying. But its fact of life. There are many vidoes on youtube on how having a kids with ASD changed people lives and how they came to the acceptance.

  Early internetion is the key. That would help the kid really grasp things,get whatever help he needs and learn to cope up with real world.

• 

  stumo on 14/04/2021 - 09:17

  Its called a spectrum for a reason. Experienced teachers like my wife have seen the full spectrum before. Usually its only the really intense ones that need an aide in the classroom, which needs govt funding and and hence an official diagnosis. TBH your son sounds very mild if at all. Its probably worth following the advice of the pros and see if you can get him the help he needs to progress when young. The longer you leave it the harder it will be for him.

  Our eldest son didn't speak until 3yo. He is still economical with words at 14yo lol.

  We had speech pathology sessions when he was 2-3 because we were worried about his lack of words. The test they do at the end where they have to non-verbally answer a series of questions until they get 2 in a row wrong, the pathologist was "blown away" with how far into the test he got. He was there for ages and seemed to really enjoy it.

  When he did finally start using words he actually knew the entire alphabet and numbers 1-10 at 3yo. We read to him every night since birth for at least 30mins, so I think that helped even though there wasnt much coming back.

  He is still very very bright at 14. And still doesnt talk much. He really likes his routines so there is a bit of OCD there for sure.

  TBH I think he is on the spectrum but very mild. It hasnt affected his schooling much other than he seems like he CBF socially interacting much with his peers. We have tried and tried to encourage that side of things but its really hard to do.

  As for our other 2 kids they never shut up from 18mo onwards.

• 

  OzMule on 14/04/2021 - 09:21

  +4

  Hey Mate,
  I was exactly in the same position 2 years ago. we are also a bilingual family.
  Our daughter was 4 at the time going to ELC. Her speech was delayed, with severe communication issues with her peer. the teacher asked us to get an assessment.
  Speech pathology came with serious concern. She went through speech and OT sessions for 1.5 years and we could see a drastic change in her speech as well as confidence.
  She is now in prep/kindergarten and at the end of this term, her teacher told us she is doing great with reading skills, always involved in the class activities, and would not worry about her academics. It was such a relief to hear this feedback. Her speech teacher is confident that she will graduate next term.

  My advice: GET HELP NOW!!!

  contact your nearest NDIA coordinator, they will handle the funding from NDIA.

  And the most important thing is don't get depressed either of you, believe me, it won't do any good. One of my friend was going through the same thing, his partner was in depression for 2 years and it only led to severe financial loss and personal difficulties.

  you devote your time to engage with your son and help him as instructed by speech and OT trainers. get as much help you can for your Son.

• 

  admira on 14/04/2021 - 09:23

  Was going to PM you OP but I see you have them blocked. Be careful about a diagnosis like this and don't just accept it face blank. There are advantages to it for sure, from an NDIS perspective, but there are also many downsides and once therapists, paediatricians, schools and others hear it it steers them and can end up being a self fulfilling prophecy rather than diagnosis. It can also be 100% spot on and then its super helpful. But a second opinion, from a good developmental paediatrician, would be valuable.

  I also encourage you and your wife to be really open and vulnerable with the doctors and therapists, express your fears, doubts, write things down before the appointments and don't let them brush over things.

  Best of luck to you.

• 

  modiika on 14/04/2021 - 09:29

  +5

  There are some pretty great comments here already and I dont have much to add.

  I do think a second opinion can be helpful.

  A lot of the commentators are assuming the diagnosis is correct. Personally, from what i've read and people i've spoken to it is very hard to diagnose at your son's age. My wife didnt speak until she was 5. While a bit extreme, there is a reasonable chance on what you have described at face value that your son does not have Autism.

  But even assuming that is the case, and ultimately in a year or two the professionals decided he probably didnt have autism. What's the problem with getting the extra help. It's just extra resources to help your child develop in the meantime. The diagnosis wont haunt him for life. How will people find out? His friends in school wont know, his future employers wont know. I'm doubtful the school would even know if its not a factor by the time he is school age.

  It seems clear from your post, that you have a very fixed idea in your head of what Autism is and what it means. Please stop picturing the kind of extreme examples you see on TV.

  On the other hand, if he does have Autism, keeping in mind it is a very broad spectrum, early intervention really is important. By being proactive now, there is a good chance to significantly improve his future.

  This diagnosis does not define or limit your son or his future. Your son is who he is. The diagnosis isnt about you, it doesnt mean you failed as parents. We all want our kids to have the best life possible, but not everything is in our or their control. Is ignoring the doctors recommendation really about what's in your Son's best interest or is it about your ego and your dreams for your son? That doesnt mean its good news and its ok to be nervous, anxious, etc about it, its completely normal. I'm confident given the good advice you've gotten here you'll make the right decision for your son.

  • 

    p1 ama on 14/04/2021 - 18:28

    +4

    This diagnosis does not define or limit your son or his future. Your son is who he is. The diagnosis isnt about you, it doesnt mean you failed as parents. We all want our kids to have the best life possible, but not everything is in our or their control. Is ignoring the doctors recommendation really about what's in your Son's best interest or is it about your ego and your dreams for your son?

    To be honest, the only reason why autism is a disorder is because autistic people are in the minority. If autistic people were in the majority, then they would probably classify being "normal" as an illness. Trust me, having been around a lot of high-functioning autistic people, they all think "normal" people are weird (myself included).

    Autism is positively associated with a lot of different "desirable" characteristics including faster learning in certain areas (e.g. mathematics), greater visual-spatial ability, and a greater ability to make conclusions from logical deductions. People with autism are also more commonly found in areas such as engineering and physical sciences compared to the rest of the population.

    In general, autism is often associated with higher intelligence, though that intelligence tends to be in a narrower field. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4927579/)

    People with autism are also likely to be better at mathematics due to their ability to use the more social parts of their brain for mathematical processing: https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/superior-math-skills-may-a…

    Children with autism were shown to not just be better at numerical and arithmetic ability, but to also much better able too break down a problem and are more advanced than their peers at different tasks.

    Again, the only reason autism is treated as an illness is because it's in the minority. If the world was 70% autistic, we'd be looking at not being autistic as an illness.

• 

  a-friend on 14/04/2021 - 09:56

  +4

  Take NDIS help and use it for Therapies. I have seen Autistic kids recover, they are going to normal school now. They even went to special school for 2 years. Now nobody knows that they were Autistic. Hence the so called "Label", doesn't exist. None of their new friends know that they were Autistic. They are living a normal life.

• 

  Maveot on 14/04/2021 - 10:08

  +6

  I can relate to this, from 2 years of age our youngest daughter seemed to struggle with speech, we went to various doctors, even a child psychologist who at the time all said she would grow out of it. Eventually by the time she was 4 we managed to get a recommendation for speech and OT, and I felt that it took too long, a lot of bad habits had / have become permeant issues now with her speech at age 7.

  We to were concerned with the stigma of a label, until recently it was just focused on her speech, in the last 12 months she has undergone additional testing to the point that she may be on the autism spectrum, only just with learning dyslexia along with speech issues. We have received NDIS funding since the age of 4 in varying forms, the good thing is that as she has gotten older, the funding has increased to allow us to assist her with her needs, she has 3 speech sessions a fortnight now. The diagnosis mentioned before has also allowed the school to gain additional funding to support her one on one or in small group environments.

  Our daughter is one of the most caring kids you will meet, but it breaks my heart when you have kids come up to her and ask her if she is learning to speak English. She struggles to maintain friendships due to the speech issues. She sometimes wanders the playground alone, these are due to the issues that I felt if we had the support at 2.5 years of age we might have managed to address by now, maybe not.

  My advice, put the pride aside as we have learnt to do, use the assistance to help your child and if you can resolve it prior to school, great move on, if not the foundation is set for assistance.

  Best of Luck

• 

  Zondor on 14/04/2021 - 10:28

  If there is something wrong the earlier you get support with something like this the better. If not, then free money

• 

  taoz on 14/04/2021 - 10:41

  OP
  Doctors to easily label kids now.
  There are kids who don't talk much at all at this age, get some speech therapy from different people if one isn't working. It will be a slow start and progress from there

• 

  tjswinno on 14/04/2021 - 11:13

  +6

  I didn't receive my autism diagnosis until I was 30, and wish I had been diagnosed as a child but Aspergers (now ASD level 1) was not added to the DSM until I was 8 years old and I slipped through the cracks. There is a lot of support out there now days and early intervention therapies that will help a lot. Don't think of it as a 'label', I do not. It helps you access many things throughout life that can help throughout life that otherwise have many hoops to jump through without it. You can't 'cure' ASD but you can help them understand and help them develop socially.

  • 

    bargain huntress on 15/04/2021 - 08:05

    Are you successful?

    • 

      tjswinno on 15/04/2021 - 08:18

      +3

      Depends how you class success, I own my own home, looking to purchase a 2nd and have a good long term job in a field I am good at.

• 

  AJW on 14/04/2021 - 11:40

  +2

  Once you accept that your child is different and move past any labels that you are uncomfortable with, you will see that you should be asking for all the help you can get as early as possible. Early intervention for anything outside the norm (if you don't like the word disability) is crucial and will help your child adapt and overcome these obstacles in life.
  As a parent with a child with a disability, we've known other parents to try mainstreaming at school, avoiding therapies that are usually associated with disabilities (like learning Makaton), and in general ignoring the obvious - that their child needs support.

  To put it simple, if you don't get access to the NDIS, you won't get access to treatments and therapies for your child that a medical professional is telling you they recommend.
  You probably already have that voice in the back of your mind telling you that something is different about your child.
  And what have you got to lose? If you were receiving help and you no longer needed it because your child grows out of their symptoms, then that is great!
  If you don't seek help and your child's conditions worsen, that is time lost where it counts most - at an early stage - especially for speech and communication!

  Please listen to your medical professionals and not your ozbargain docs who have put out dozens of wide ranging suggestions.
  Please accept that every child is different, and labels won't change how much you love your child or how much you want to help them.
  It won't happen in this moment, but try to look at this as opportunity to learn how to help your child.

  From one parent to another, best of luck!

  • 

    AJW on 14/04/2021 - 16:15

    +2

    p.s. always consider a second opinion too!

• 

  BargnHuntr on 14/04/2021 - 11:46

  +2

  My nephew struggled with Speech because my family is bilingual. My sister went to see speech therapists and they suggested to speak 1 language at home, so they are not confused and pick 1 language. My nephew started speaking after this change and he is now 13 and speaks both languages without any problem.

  In your case I believe its going to be English which is probably same in day care as well. There is no problem in being bilingual maybe your child is finding it difficult to learn both at same time.

  As other people said, it seems you are labelling your own child and I am assuming you were expecting a "Perfect" child and its lot to do with culture. You dont label no one will.
  Your child is only 2.5yrs old, there are more things he will/should be doing but every child is different, some gets Potty trained at early and some till they are 4. So ask for 2nd advice if you are not comfortable with 1st one.

  If you think your child is not playing with other kids, then try to change day care, see if it works, maybe play dates one on one. My friend changed 4 times in a year till their daughter was finally happy.

  You are lucky there is a solution that can improve his daily life, I have seen kids with permanent disabilities (one time twins), so dont worry about labels and do what's best for your child.

• 

  apptrack on 14/04/2021 - 12:37

  +6

  Hi OP

  I work for an autism provider and hopefully I can provide some clarity. This is my personal opinion from workplace experiences which will hopefully guide you to make a decision on your own.

  Firstly, autism is not a disability it is a developmental disorder. From reading your post, are you and your partner more concerned about the diagnosis on how it will affect you or your child?

  Getting a second opinion is always helpful and I encourage it (pediatrician + speech therapist). There is nothing wrong with your child being diagnosed at such a young age and it is almost always beneficial as they will have the support they need now instead of when it all gets too much. NDIS will be really helpful and reduce the cost, even if you can afford it.

  All in all, if the second opinion comes back with the same diagnosis, I would get the suggested support your son needs. There is no label.

  I congratulate you for reaching out and opening a discussion and hope all the best for your family.

• 

  LFO on 14/04/2021 - 14:03

  +1

  Not a doctor but from previous experiences to other family members:

  Bilingual families children often need extra time to speak. In particular when two languages are spoken at home.

  It is easy for a child if one language is at school, shops, playground and another at home, etc.

  I recall kids chatting and interacting with adults in one language and then playing (with other kids) in another language. "This is for this" kind of rule.
  Also a chatty sibling could be an issue.

  The doll and the comb seem the most obscene test. Like a Politically Correct assumption a boy will like a doll and tender to it. Absurd. Bet you they don't have toy guns or swords.

  I will definitely be seeking a second or third opinion. It seems a little too early to make decisions.

  By the way, I witness first hand how a child with Tourette syndrome was treated (heavy medication) and how another was treated with relaxation, meditation (for a kid!) and breathing.
  The medicated one, now an adult, is still struggling with everything in life.
  The second one cannot even remember those times.

  Please seek a second opinion and use your own wisdom to decide. YOU KNOW MORE!!!!

• 

  [Deactivated] on 14/04/2021 - 14:48

  +5

  Get him as much help now, so if he is actually autistic, he'll be much better off when he starts school/life.

  My wife is a psychologist, and in some cultures, autism is seen as some weakness and 'frowned' upon especially with the first born son.

  She tells her families that the reason they came to Australia was to get help for potential issues like this so the child and family can live the best, fullest lives.

  Point being, don't be too proud or let your ego get in the way of your child's well being.

• 

  iamchriss on 14/04/2021 - 14:55

  +10

  Not something I share too easily - but I am actually on the Autism Spectrum and am classified as Level 2.
  I was diagnosed at age 3 - that was 22 years ago.

  The diagnosis has never impacted or disadvantaged me nor do I feel like I have been followed with a label. I attended a regular school, attended TAFE and subsequently university. Today, I run a company I founded 7 years ago and have 4 employees today.

  In my personal experience, being diagnosed at an early age could have been seen as being beneficial as it allowed me to access extra resources, early interventions and other services. I also have access to NDIS funding and a support plan.

  Another point worth noting is that an Autism diagnosis is not necessarily a label, unless you disclose it to others & even then extra support is not a bad thing.

  I strongly believe that if you choose not to accept the diagnosis at an early age - you may find yourself regretting the decision in the years to come as you may not have provided your son with all the help, services & support that are available to him.

• 

  kadog on 14/04/2021 - 14:56

  +3

  I’m a paediatric physician trainee, I thought I’d offer my perspective which would probably be different to many other Ozbargainers. While I can’t offer a clinical opinion, I can share my insight.

  As I understand your dilemma is whether you get the autism spectrum diagnosis and access NDIS funding and other supports vs. the concern regarding labelling your child and the associated stigma.

  The reasons to obtain a diagnosis for any child is to (1) identify ways to help the child with their learning, development, social skills and communication and (2) enable access to NDIS funding to
  This process involves ongoing reviews during the different stages of growth and development as their needs will change over time (including SP, physio, OT, psychology, school aids, etc).

  From a medical viewpoint I don’t think there is a stigma with a diagnosis of ASD. I do not think a diagnosis would limit their potential or opportunities. Whether a child has a diagnosis or not, if they have developmental delays, they will benefit from allied health input.

  This information can be overwhelming, and many parents feel the same way you may be feeling now. There is no urgency in initiating the process, it would be reasonable to take a month or two to let the dust settle and have a think about it all.

  It may be useful to gain the viewpoint of teachers who work with children both with and without ASD.

  Hope this was helpful, and good luck!

• 

  Masterpupil on 14/04/2021 - 15:16

  +7

  Accept the help and get the early intervention via NDIS which will cover the costs. The worst that can happen at this point is that you help - he's really young and you probably do not have to disclose the diagnosis to many people.

  There will be re-assessments. You can always have a re-assessment done prior to school. Worse case is that the NDIS have wasted their money, best case there is something wrong and you have made in-roads already.

  I have a girl with ASD and she is really smart, an amazing artist - can't make friends. I am not too worried now but as she gets older it's going to become a problem. NDIS funding means she is getting a range of supports to assist her in navigating her emotional and social intelligence.

  There are others in my extended family that are diagnosed with ASD who are young adults/teenagers who were diagnosed late, and it is apparent to me there are much older people in my extended family that plainly have ASD and have suffered greatly owing to the lack of recognition and treatment.

  I don't want to scare you but have a look at the prevalence of suicide amongst ASD people. It's not good, but the intervention, recognition and treatment is so much better now. There are so many people 30+ who have never been diagnosed and suffered greatly.

• 

  Mythreesons on 14/04/2021 - 15:33

  +3

  My middle son (23) has autism, we knew he was different (we had never heard of autism, he would wake up and just lay in his cot he wouldn’t cry, hardly ever cried) from birth, we at first thought he was the exact opposite of our eldest who was hyperactive, we were told don’t compare him to your eldest child, at the age of about 3-4 he was put in day care and they suggested straight away to get him checked out, after lots of testing they said he had autism and also another medical problem, he liked to sit by himself in a corner, he was obsessed with everything orange, he hated wearing clothes, he would eat very limited food (couldn’t stand certain texture on his body or in his food) and he hated any change to routine, he had his chair that no one else was allowed to sit in. Now my 3rd son (very big age gap) they suspected he had autism when he was younger (mainly due to speech problems and a bit of hand flapping), we thought they were wrong and turns out they were, he had some speech therapy and is fine, hand flapping can just be an anxiety thing. I feel like a lot of schools and doctors are diagnosing children with autism who aren’t actually on the spectrum at all, we had a child at my sons school who stabbed another student and they said the poor boy has autism, the kid was violent and that was it, no speech problems, no hand flapping. I also had a friends wife who had her son diagnosed with autism (doctor shopped until she found someone to diagnose him) I spent a lot of time around this kid and the only thing he had was neglectful parents, they spent no time interacting with their kid, they sat him in front of the tv or put him in his room while they partied all the time. If you feel they are wrong get a second opinion.

  • 

    fredblogs on 14/04/2021 - 17:03

    How's your son doing now?

    • 

      Mythreesons on 17/04/2021 - 10:35

      My middle son doesn’t really do much at all, we have purchased a house that is high set and have started turning the bottom part into a self contained unit so we can teach him to be a bit more self sufficient and so when we are no longer here to care for him we are hoping one of his siblings will move in and care for him (while having their own privacy upstairs). My youngest son is at university.

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    bargain huntress on 15/04/2021 - 07:58

    +1

    Are your 2nd and 3rd sons genetically related? And did you consult an Asperger's level autism expert about your third son? because we are talking about something that is partly genetic

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      Quantumcat on 15/04/2021 - 09:01

      Are your 2nd and 3rd sons genetically related?

      Do you think they and their spouse both got DNA transplants between the second and third sons?

      • 

        bargain huntress on 15/04/2021 - 12:42

        they could be;
        fostered
        adopted
        donor conceived
        step children
        step siblings conceived with different partners
        internally adopted within a family (eg being raised by grandparents with their uncles and aunts as siblings)
        or yes regular naturally conceived fully genetically related siblings

        all of which would lead to varying levels of genetic relatedness between the siblings from 0% to ~50%

        i don't just assume

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      Mythreesons on 17/04/2021 - 10:41

      All my children share the same parents. There wasn’t as many autism experts around back than. I used to take my middle son to a paediatrician, who charged me $270 every month and all he would do was weigh him, measure how tall he was, check his head circumference and if his genitals. I tried to get speech therapy but no one could help him (weren’t trained to deal with autistic children).

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  bajillionaire on 14/04/2021 - 15:54

  +2

  OP you don't need to rush into anything. Perhaps you can go to some support group meetings for parents of young ASD diagnosed children and listen to their stories, ask your own questions, and inform yourself better about what is appropriate for your family and your child? You are right to think about the stigma that comes with a label and the consequences of that, it's a real thing that unfortunately happens in society. On the other hand the earlier someone gets extra help and therapy for ASD the better their outcomes, and the better their chances of being able to function normally in society, ultimately living an independent life. No one can say what is absolutely right for your family's situation, so perhaps seeking out all the information and opinions you can from others with lived experience of going through this is a good step to take first.

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  AustriaBargain on 14/04/2021 - 16:03

  +3

  Weird autistic kids often grow up to be well adjusted professionals. Their unique personalities that make them extreme outliers as children can translate to good things in adulthood. Or they could grow up to be bums, but non autistic kids can grow up to be criminals and bums and such. So don’t worry about it. 100 years ago being a kid that can’t fit in could mean they are abused at school or by frustrated parents, but it’s 2021 and we’re all about understanding kids these days. Boys can even be girls today if they want, it’s like a whole new world.

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  seefu on 14/04/2021 - 16:20

  +2

  I wouldn't be panicking just yet, I know a couple of kids who didn't really start talking until they were almost in kindergarten. ~3-3.5 years and they could make coherent sentences and a couple months later, they're talking non-stop.

  Edit: to add, both were growing up in bi-lingual homes as mentioned above.

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  nfr on 14/04/2021 - 16:44

  +2

  Autistic or not, sounds like he's healthy and happy, and he's only 2.5, his future is still full of possibilities. Unless you have a crystal ball, it's way too early to jump to conclusions.

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    SupeNintendoChalmers on 14/04/2021 - 17:36

    +2

    Exactly this. A diagnosis cannot define a future outcome. OPs child has been detected young, so early intervention will make a huge difference to outcome

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  khomeini on 14/04/2021 - 17:01

  -1

  Without reading all the lengthy posts and replies above but children normally aren't tested for autism until at least 4 years old.

  So unless you requested it I don't see how he was tested or diagnosed. Did you ask for a test first and then conversely it's come back with a positive result?

  Generally he's too young to be labelled anything. I'd wait a year and see how he has progressed and developed.

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    SupeNintendoChalmers on 14/04/2021 - 17:34

    +1

    Some kids can be detected at 6 months, depends on the severity and present symptoms.

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  redslert on 14/04/2021 - 17:28

  Too young and early to be sure.
  Doctor providing you with help based on current evaluation - autism spectrum.
  It is what is is NOW but doesn't mean it can't change in the FUTURE.
  It can be re-evaluated in the FUTURE and the current situation isn't determining the rest of his life.

  You need to separate the present and the future.

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  SupeNintendoChalmers on 14/04/2021 - 17:33

  +4

  He is not disabled.

  Except for his speech and receptive language, I don't see any issue with him.

  Very delayed speech and lack of receptive (pragmatic) language are tell-tale signs that your child is on the spectrum.

  Right now your wife (and you possibly) are the denial stage, a very normal and natural stage of the grief cycle.

  From what I've read your boy is relatively high in the spectrum, meaning his future outcomes should be more positive than those in the lower end of the spectrum.

  I know it's tough mate, but you're both going to need more strength and resolve, because you need to be there for your boy. I hope you have a strong network of understanding friends and supportive family, because that really makes a hell of a difference.

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  getho on 14/04/2021 - 17:44

  +7

  I would hazard a guess that ll the people agreeing with you here about being worried about a label, are not parents of neuro divergent kids. You'll get much better advice in a forum for neurodivergent folks than on a bargain hunting website. :)

  My daughter is autistic, was diagnosed a bit older than yours, but she was always "different"! I had qualms too about labels, but with hindsight it was just my ignorance of the condition, and of the issues surrounding it that was a problem. Having an earlier diagnosis would have been awesome.

  It turns out that we're a family of neurodivergents. My other daughter with asd (and possibly ADHD) and me with ADHD (and possibly ASD). I wish I had known in my childhood that I was ADHD, my life would've been so much more… Understandable :)

  Having a diagnosis now means you can research, look out for traits and issues as they arise. Some peoe say diet and gut health can make a difference, but one thing that definitely does is love and understanding and acceptance. I'm still learning this with my kids, and my own neurodivergent journey is helping me.

  Search Facebook for ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) groups and pages.

  The autistic OT is one page.

  • 

    SupeNintendoChalmers on 14/04/2021 - 19:34

    +1

    Here here

    There's a FB page called Autism Dads Australia. Great group with grounded men

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  lozbargain on 14/04/2021 - 18:09

  +5

  My son was also pretty non verbal at age 2.5, to the extent he primarily said mum, dad and no.
  We went to a speech therapist and she said, stop doing all the work for him. I would read him books and point to the objects and name them. She said stop doing that point to the object and dont say anything, wait for him to make a noise, and reward any noise he made with naming the object for him.
  I was skeptical, but this approach really worked wonders for us. My son essentially didnt' need to talk because i jumped in too fast as it were.
  As much of a shock it must have been, I would do my best to not stress about the diagnosis. Treat the diagnosis as a free ticket to get to get assistance in areas he needs. My son's speech therapy was not cheap, ha! It may turn out that he reaches a stage where he doesnt' need further assistance and then at that stage you can let it all go. If on the other hand you toss the assistance aside, you may live to regret not doing everything you could have to help him when you had the chance.

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