What's Your Favourite Cliche OzBargain Oneliner?

I'll start:

On any whiskey deals….

"Mix it with Coke."
"Don't mix it with Coke."

Just for a laugh, share the response that keeps coming up time after time.


  • +6

    Buy Plan B.

    • +8

      Is that a new crypto?

    • Only if , Cash on collection!

  • +8

    Welcome to OzOneLinerCliche database

    • +15

      Welcome to OzAskOnOzBFirst and I see you have posted on Whirlpool the same question.

  • +44

    Phone is fine.

    • +8

      Savas spelt backwards is savaS.

      Welcome back, BTW (I think I'm late on that one).

      • +3

        Hahaha, thanks so much! I love that one.

        Good to hear from you.

    • +1

      What is the origin of phone is fine?

      • +22

        Whenever a Hungry Jack's coupon pops up, someone would usually ask if they had to print them out to redeem and the now-stock response is "Phone is fine".

        Since then, it has reached inside-joke status.

      • +8

        It dates back to 2016, first coined by KaptnKaos


    • +6

      Does it have band 28?

  • +63

    jacks here
    hello Pam
    any bargains
    that's a high yield investment
    there, FIFY
    and most recently "i'm not anti-vax But."

    • +9

      Hahaha “any bargains”

      • +1

        definitely hear this one when a dubious large list of games or other stuff is posted and people fail to see more than one or two actual discounts in the sea of 100 fake discounts.

      • +3

        Typical jv

    • Good list!

    • Isn't this the standard price?

    • What's the jacks here thing all about? I see it on eBay posts

      • Refers to price jacking.
        Sellers increasing prices, just before a discount coupon gets released.

  • +73


    • +1

      Expired years ago

    • +3

      I'm still confused on that one. Is it to do with biscuits or those people that ride motorcycles?

      • +1

        Bikies vs bickies

        • +5

          Aren't they bikkies?

    • Bikies should be the first reply for every new thread. Much like “First”

  • +14


  • +39

    what does the contract say?

  • +104

    Thanks OP. Bought 10.

  • +59

    ‘Asking for a friend’

    • +20


    • Asking for mother in law

  • +32


    High yield investment vehicle.

  • +5

    Whiskey instead of whisky,
    please advice

    • +13

      Whiskey/whisky isn't that bad, it's country dependent

      Loose instead of lose is much worse

      • +1

        Advice instead of advise always triggers me. Then I read a couple of posts down.

        • +2

          One of the most annoying and used very regularly is brought instead of bought.

          'I just brought a new tv from JB'

          google result for past 7 days on ozbargain shows a lot..

          "I brought gear from there a few years back. No problems"
          "Brought 2 last year and returned both as not fit for purpose"
          "I just brought a new OASE Biomaster 600 Aquarium Filter"
          "I doubt anyone brought the lot but"
          "F**K I brought it full price!!!!!!!"
          "cheers op brought one"
          "They never shipped the last one i brought"

          And a lot more!

        • stationary vs stationery for me

          E for exercise book. Learnt that from my teacher decades ago.

    • -2

      They're two different drinks…

      • +1

        I'll have a double of each in the same glass…

      • +2

        I know, the question normally is “please advice me a scotch whiskey I want to impress someone as a gift $300 budget” then everyone recommends a single malt, eventually it turns out the OP’s gift recipient only drinks red label with cola.

  • +17

    That's what she said…

    • +12

      That's what jv said…?

      • +5

        hence the emphasis ;)

        • +2

          I finally get it!
          JV stands for Jane Voldemort, but we can't actually say the full name and have to use the abbreviation…

  • +41

    What did your insurance company/neighbour/landlord etc say when you spoke to them?

    • +33

      "they said to ask ozbargain"

    • "I didn't actually talk to any of them at all, I came straight to OzB for advice instead of taking logical first steps"

  • +34

    Price in the title please

  • +30

    Buy a Camry.

    • +2

      Over on Whirlpool it's Falcon on Gas.

      • +1

        My god this is the one, my dad's 2000s life choices was to install a LGP tank in the boot and cut boot space in half cuz LPG was cheaper I guess.

  • +8

    OzBargain = "Professionals"
    (Thanks Gerry).


  • +2

    Just for a laugh, share the responses that keeps up coming up time after time.

    FTFY ;)

    • Fixed, somewhat :)

      • The revisions don't lie ; )

  • +5

    OP, you are being entitled.

  • +58

    MS Paint diagram?

    • +18

      This is my favourite ozbargain oneliner

      • +7

        This should be OzB’s logo, if only for a day

        • Not a bad one for April Fools.

  • +13

    Got the last one thanks OP

    There was a once top poster that would regularly say that on all the price errors at Officeworks etc. Never did provide proof when asked.

  • +8


  • +21

    What did "……" say when you asked them?
    DisabledUser123456 in 3… 2.. 1.
    Have you considered/I would be looking at a Tesla…
    AMG A200… With all the bells and whistles…
    Came in to see if IVI/Pam/SlavOz posted this… Wasn't disappointed.
    Any grammar Nazi reply that is as wrong as the one they are correcting.

    • +2

      We haven't seen any posts from IVI, Pam or SlavOz lately. Though SlavOz has been banned for a while so there's certainly a lot less antivaxx posts going around now.

      • +2

        Pam posted something yesterday

      • +1

        I hope he wasn't banned for having different opinions

        • +5

          No it was for trolling.

          • @Clear: And how did they decide it was trolling?

            • +1

              @DrScavenger: I don't know. I'm not a mod so that's none of my business.

            • @DrScavenger: Scomo pointed it out

            • +2

              @DrScavenger: Here's one potential measure. Imagine a user that across their 149 posts in less than a year since they joined, they have more negs than upvotes.

              They might be considered a troll.

              Know anybody like that dr scavenger?

              • +1

                @bejahi: People disagreeing with you doesn't make you a troll.

                • +2

                  @DrScavenger: No, but going out of your way to create controversy and make inflammatory comments certainly is.

                  While people are free to have their own opinions, it stops being an opinion when you start abusing people who don't agree with you or you are only making those comments to rile people up.

    • +2

      French cars are under appreciated…

      • My Megane RS is awesome but

  • +22


    First time poster. Be gentle with me.

    Is this site a scam?

    • +1

      *sits back and gets popcorn

    • What's the opposite of scam? Cuz this site is it. Don't believe us? You walk past 10 OzB's a day, facts :)

  • -2

    This should be a new one liner :)

    Trump’s reply rhymed with “Oh spit, you’ve gotta be trucking lidding me”.

  • +16

    “That’s not a deal” followed by a convoluted calculation that would be applicable for two people, maybe, and OW doesn’t have stock anyway.

    • live and die by the OW price match. and to a lesser degree, JB when they actually have stock.

  • +17

    Buy now, think later

  • +8

    “Now they’ve cancelled my order”
    After a too good to be true deal has been cancelled because the company involved realises it has made a pricing mistake.

    • +4

      "Now I will report them to ACCC and my neighbour the Prime Minister for cancelling my 17cent bin bags"

      Harris Tech Ebay debacle.

  • +21

    Don't forget the classic "Report to the ACCC" when there's a price error and nothing ever happens.

    • +8

      Go the ACL…

      (or APRA, VCAT/NCAT, High Court).

      Also, Mabo, vibe of it.

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