Can The 'Quiet Achiever' Ever Make It to The Managerial Level?

Hi all, recently at work I got knocked back for a managerial position for the second time in four years. The feedback I got was that I was the quiet achiever type who needed to be more vocal.

I am the introverted type who prefers to quietly get things done without a fuss and without troubling other people. But this doesn't mean I'm a mute who doesn't talk to anyone in the office. When I see people in the kitchen or at the photocopier, I still make general chit chat and have a laugh. But it seems like something more is needed.

Another example of me being "quiet" is when this role came up four years ago and I didn't get it, I didn't complain and just accepted it. When I complained this time and brought it up, they said "I didn't know you wanted it". So it seems like merely applying for the role isn't enough to show my interest, I have to complain that I didn't get it?

The successful applicant is more extroverted than me, they will spend an hour or so a day talking to people about non-work related things, such as how their kids are, how their weekend was etc. I feel like this is too much wasted time talking and not getting work done.

I'm interested in hearing people's thoughts, especially any experiences they have seen first hand in the office, whether that be going through the process themselves or seeing others go through it.

Comments

  • +139

    no

    • +32

      This. Managers are there to manage people, meaning getting the people to do the work and building a good working relationship and dealing with all the problems that come with people.

      It’s about reading people and managing the people to get the work done, not you.

      It’s simple to understand but hard to do, if you don’t get this, you most likely won’t ever be given the position - I certainly would not get you to manage a team because the whole idea is to talk that meaningless shit (I get it bruh) about people’s kids because their kids are more important than the work.

      • Yep dis

      • +2

        Exactly this! That “meaningless” talk is very important in building relationships. If you don’t understand the importance, it means you are not suitable

        • This is what made Elon Musk so successful

          • +1

            @Top G: there is no formula to becoming elon musk, is there?

          • @Top G: no, what made him successful is his rare ability to FAIL UPWARDS

    • +6

      Its fairly obvious that OPs employer feels they dont have what it takes to be a good manager

      I tend io agree that a quiet achiever in the office doing thier job very well does NOT necessarily make them management material.
      It just means they are focused and very good at thier job which is what OPs employer is saying

      To be management material one must interact well with other people and demonstarte leadership qualities.
      They need to be able to come up with new ideas and work effectively with a team, not just be part of a team.
      To lead and encouarge other workers to get things done and done properly for a common goal.

      Perhaps OPs employer doesnt see that in OP.

      If OP does feel they are management material then I suggest OP looks elsewhere for better opportunities

    • +5

      OP, you assume becoming a manager would be a good thing for you.

      Actually, in healthy organisation, a good manager is more like a shared assistant to the people who actually do the work. Their whole job is communication. They don't even make the real decisions in most organisations, real leadership is above them.

      If you are just after more pay, switch companies more often to better paying jobs.

      If you want to be in charge, start your own business.

      Both are much better options for introverts than switching to management (as long as you are willing to communicate a bit when needed).

      You'll soon make a lot more than some middle manager. You'll also be much happier than you would be chatting/meeting/calling people all day.

    • +3

      Exactly! And why would you want to be a manager? Every manager I've worked with has said confidentially they hate the job. Having to put up people's issues and dealing with conflicts all the time. Wears them down.

      Why not just go down a technical leadership stream? I guess depends on the industry but im in a leadership position without having to manage a team. I could think of nothing worse than having to deal with people all day. Hah

  • +47

    they will spend an hour or so a day talking to people about non-work related things, such as how their kids are, how their weekend was etc. I feel like this is too much wasted time talking and not getting work done.

    Ooof

    • +7

      Sounds like they would be more at home managing machines than people.

    • +6

      Agree - this is the exact kind of person it is good to keep out of management.

    • +2

      probably a decade ago or more now but there was a british study that showed that people going out to drink more with their bosses and colleagues progressed more than those who simply did a good job and didnt go out.

      I understood it as you need to be in your bosses face so they think of you when its promotion time. it has been hard for me to put it in practice so who knows

      • +1

        Be in your bosses face? That sounds unpleasant for your boss to have someone trying to force their attention

        It just means that there is a social component to work. Which makes sense, since the people at work are generally humans, even bosses

        • yes from what i can remember that is what the study wanted to highlight the social component of work. I thought it a bit strange that you already spend all this time with them, having even more time outside of work ?! youza

          i'm quite sure a few bosses i had in my 20s were barely human, or just a concentrate of the bad side of them

          • @juki: I think you're taking it too literally. The social component of work is there whether you like it or not. If and how you want to build personal relationships is up to you, your coworkers, and the office culture.
            It can be good and positive without requiring time outside working hours. You could simply have a friendly chat by the water cooler now and then, or a word while passing by in the office.

            But maybe those people hang out outside work because they genuinely enjoy each others company enough to not need to draw strict social boundaries. Or they simply figure that spending all that time with people is a good reason to try and get along well with them.
            Either way is probably going to build social bonds further, and at the very least, is easier to quantify and put into a study than identifying the varying qualities of conversations that occur around the water cooler and in hallways.

            • @crentist: Yes and no I only remember the study as a young adult/ teenager which was many years ago. This was also based in England that has a pub culture and I've spent most of my working life in countries that don't really mix so easily that way. However yes maybe you are right :)

    • +1

      Yeah 5 mins chatting is fine but it's crazy that some people will literally water HOURS chatting about BS at work.

      Grow up, do your job.

  • +39

    It’s not what you know, it’s who you know

    • +9

      It's not what you know, it's not who you know, it's who knows you.

  • +200
    Feature OP Successful Applicant (Chad)
    Personality Introverted Extroverted
    Work Approach / Style Quiet achiever type More vocal and engaging
    Communication General chit chat, laughs Longer conversations about personal life
    Focus on Work vs Social Focus on work tasks Spends time talking about non-work topics
    Time spent on non-work conversations Minimal Around an hour a day
    Managerial Position Status Not selected (twice) Successful applicant
    • +40

      How brutally efficient of you.

      • +10

        Deme looks like a managerial type.

        • +30

          Nah he spent time making an efficient looking table when he could have been talking BS in the break room instead.

          • +30

            @smartazz104: Nah I delegated it to ChatGPT while talking bs.

            • @deme: 😆

            • +5

              @deme: or ChadGPT ?

            • +1

              @deme: CHATGPT can generate nicely formatted tables in markup?

              (how did it do the shading?)

              • +3

                @Jimothy Wongingtons: Markdown, but yes. The shading of the header row comes standard.

                Me: Can you write me markdown for the following table with 4 rows (including header), and make the header bold?
                a b c
                1 2 3
                4 5 6
                7 8 9

                ChatGPT: Sure! Here's the markdown for the table with the header in bold:
                | **a** | **b** | **c** |
                | --- | --- | --- |
                | 1 | 2 | 3 |
                | 4 | 5 | 6 |
                | 7 | 8 | 9 |

                And here's what it looks like:

                a b c
                1 2 3
                4 5 6
                7 8 9

    • +2

      Tell me this is your work and not chatgpt coz its damn good

      • +2

        Nah just ChatGPT

        • +6

          What did you ask ChatGPT to get that result?

          • +21

            @PoorStudent: "Roast OP…efficiently and effectively"

            • @poppingtags: ChatGPT with the successful mission

              • @JPerez: Op doesn't need to worry about management by the looks. ChatGPT will do the managing instead …

    • This is fantastic, thank you.

      Could you share the raw text of this table here so I can copy this and share it with my friend who's in a similar position?

      • +1
        • Could you share the prompt or thereabouts (no personal info)?

          You did a great job getting it to output something like this!

          Edit: Ah, I got a similar response by saying:

          Could you put it in a table like this:
          | Feature | OP | Successful Applicant (Chad) |

    • One of the more brutal takedowns I’ve seen on Ozbargain, big oof.

      • +1

        What's the takedown here, OP isn't being enough of a waste of space at work?

        • +1

          The takedown here is that OP is complaining about not getting a role that they are clearly not suitable for. I know I'd hate working for a boss like OP.

          • +1

            @freshness872: I think the OP might be quite suited to managerial work but they certainly need to work on their marketing skills to remove current perceptions that people seemingly have about them.

            I have seen plenty of quiet achievers get promoted to management roles.

            • +3

              @PumpkinHater: It's less about the "quiet achiever" bit and the fact that OP is bereft in understanding fundamental tenets of people management.

              Quoting OP:

              …they will spend an hour or so a day talking to people about non-work related things, such as how their kids are, how their weekend was etc. I feel like this is too much wasted time talking and not getting work done.

              If old mate cannot understand that connecting with people and building relationships a key component of being a people leader, no OP should be not be anywhere close to a managerial position.

              • +1

                @ThadtheChad: I agree that building relationships and connecting with people is fundamental to being a good manager. This why i said (could have worded it better though) that they need to work on certain things.

    • +4

      God how i hate Chad.

    • +3

      This looks like one of those industry superfund comparison ads.

    • To me the key word here is ‘engaging’. You want to be one of those people who people want to talk to, seek help from, ask their opinion both about work related matters and life in general.

  • +55

    …they will spend an hour or so a day talking to people about non-work related things, such as how their kids are, how their weekend was etc. I feel like this is too much wasted time talking and not getting work done.

    Not being able to see the importance of this is one of the reasons it'll be difficult for you to get promoted to management. And even if you do get promoted, you won't be getting very far without this type of understanding.

    • +16

      Exactly, you have to pretend to care about others to get ahead.

      • +13

        Agree 100% It's important to make people feel valued and cared about, it goes a long way toward keeping happy staff. Even if as the manager you don't actually give a shit about your employees lives and feelings you have to appear like you do.

        It is important to engage with staff on a personal level, management is as much about the people as it is about the work.

      • +1

        Honestly this feels like the key to pretty much everything in life lol, even the most introverted people will feel excited to talk to someone who pretends to care about what goes on in their life. You can apply this to every relationship.

      • +1

        Its a conundrum.

        Say you you and your colleague have same title / responsibilities, and there's [x] amount of work to be done
        He/she goes away and does the above eg chatting and getting the relationship built
        Guess whos gonna do the work
        And then someone turns around and say chatting/relationship etc is more important?

        The place needs both kind of people. Both are equally important
        Promoting only the talkers would lead to, one day, just make the doers talk and no one actually does the work
        Also being an introvert / doer myself - I have no problem finding a bunch of strategically important introverts and chatting too
        Just that, I value the work done more than chatting

        • +3

          In my experience as both a team contributor and a manager, a lot of 'quiet achievers' vastly overestimate the difference in their contribution compared to their more chatty peers, if one even exists.

          I think part of it is that they don't engage as much with other people so they don't really have a clear view of what other people are doing, but they are hyper focussed on their own output. Not realizing it's the same as almost everyone elses.

          • +5

            @Alligate: I see the point but I have to say this is one of the classic excuses I heard from underperforming/unproductive managers.

            • @ass3ts: I'm not really understanding what part of it is an excuse?

              If somebody removed from a social element of a team perceives their performance to be significantly better than their peers, but all measurable output points to this not being the case and each individual is performing as per expectations, what is it an 'excuse' for?

        • +2

          Not really. Building a relationship and productivity aren't mutually exclusive things.
          It's much easier to collaborate with someone who you also enjoy communicating with.

      • others don't care how much you know until they know how much you care

        'The Main Thing Is Honesty. If You Can Fake That, You’ve Got It Made' - https://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/12/05/fake-honesty/

      • +1

        Pretending to care will only get you so far in management of people. Finding a way to actually care about people is what will keep in that kind of role.

        If you're lucky, you may already have an attitude and temperament to care about people, and know how to deftly judo flip conversations into productive actions / outcomes. Good conversational skills go hand in hand with effective performance management skills.

    • -3

      You think an hour a day talking about stuff not related to work is "important"?

      5 mins a day is healthy. 10 mins is fine. 20 mins once on a while, sure.

      An hour a day and any halfway competent organisation will fire you (as they should).

      Grow up, get off your arse, and do your bloody job.

      • Grow up, get off your arse, and do your bloody job.

        They could be in a quasi-leadership role (a senior tech lead, for instance) and as a people leader, building relationships would be part of their job.

        Also I daresay, its not like as if OP would be eavesdropping for an entire hour to know the precise contents of the conversations. They could be employing the tactic of interweaving personal/casual and work-related topics within the same conversation.

      • +1

        Presumably it’s not an hour a day with one person. I don’t know how big the organisation and the team is, but that’s only 6 10min chats or 20 5min chats. Some might be over coffee, in the break room or whatever. That seems entirely normal to me. OP may also be exaggerating the time. I definitely ask people how they are and what’s happening for them both work and out of work wise, even if they don’t work directly with me/for me. It might seem like a lot to an observer but you can actually get through a lot in a 2minute conversation, but it might seem a lot longer to someone who doesn’t do that. I actually find it saves me time in the long run as I know who people are, what they do, their strengths and inteterests etc. They will do me favours or can connect me with other people that know about a topic I might need help with. I work for a very large organisation.

      • +2

        5 mins a day is healthy. 10 mins is fine. 20 mins once on a while, sure. An hour a day and any halfway competent organisation will fire you (as they should).

        My job is pure management. If it's not managing my team, then it's managing my stakeholders. I start my day with at least an hour having coffee and conversation with a range of different people. My team doesn't 'work for me'. We 'work together' to achieve the same goals. It's not a one way street where they just output work. I need to connect with them enough to understand how they work as a person so that I can remove anything that stops them from working at their peak. So being able to motivate, influence and earn the respect of my team is a big thing.

        Everyone in my team is experienced and mature enough to know what they need to deliver to a deadline so they can talk as much as little or as much as they want - as long as the work is done, then that's all I care about.

        Grow up, get off your arse, and do your bloody job.

        You sound like one of those people who sit there and think that they themselves work real hard and everyone else is bludging.

    • +1

      Just a note though, context of how big your organization is, what it does and how many different sections there are in it need to be factored in.

      In some sections (more technical and less process driven roles), being vocal is not just about this type of chit chat but rather whether you can present an idea and convince other people to follow along. Sometimes this type of conversation can be started by that type of water cooler talk - you pitch ideas and seek casual feedback at the same time. You can also get updates on what they are currently working on.

      IMO you won't get a managerial position by either just being able to build rapport but have no ideas to present (causing project delays / issues) or by having only technical skills and not being able to convince others (ideas get shelved, breakdown in communication with team). You need a good balance of both to lead.

  • +2

    Short answer no. You need to be vocal to be a manager in most roles. How are you expected to lead a team if you are introverted. Also having the ability to talk to people about their life is just as important as work. It is NOT a waste of time. I think maybe you can revaluate what is important and not, and also work on being more extroverted. You also have the opportunity to apply externally.

    • +17

      Nonsense about introverts not being able to manage, have seen many excellent introvert managers.

      Not every managerial role requires a raging extrovert type, very much depends on the industry.

      • +3

        I think it is more than just being an introvert. Some of the things that the OP has said show that he is not ready for management

        • +4

          It's an old-fashioned idea from last century that "managers need to be extroverts".

          In this century we even see flat organisations, where people just get shit done without managers walking around slapping people on the back saying "good job mate how's the kids" every 5 minutes.

          A flat organizational structure means that an organization has few (if any) levels of management between the workforce and the highest-level managers. The absence of middle managers places more authority, such as decision-making functions, at the worker level.

    • +2

      Depending on the role, it is very possible to be introverted whilst leading a team. Domain expertise and communication skills are the two key components central to making this work.

      However, combining this with effective decision making, constant effort and perceptive clarity is very important (this includes understanding the lay of the land and knowing how to deal with political land mines).

      An introvert might have a difficult time being hired at a place where they are unknown and unproven. In which case, the way to turn things around at interviews is practice and being over prepared.

      The best type of introvert to be is one where people don't realize you are until you declare it verbally.

  • +26

    Maybe try to talk to them about bargains for a hour?

    • +14
      • +10

        Everyone at my place of work knows that finding bargains is a part of my core personality traits. They come to me when they are looking to buy something lol.

        • Really? Why don't you just refer them here?

          • +2

            @[Deactivated]: The younger guys jump on now and then. It is mostly the older gents that don't care to do it themselves I've noticed lol.

            • -1

              @Frayin: What about the older females in your office?

        • HAHA, very relatable.

  • +2

    Assuming both have the same skills, one is more likeable, others probably feel they have a bond if they're taking about personal life, less forgettable . All these lead to the extrovert to being more influencial and being able to talk shit, which is a necessary managerial skill imo.

  • +3

    Only an hour talking about random social life stuff? I can do this for 4-5 hours at work without even trying! I'm going to ask for that management promotion!

    Jokes aside, you definitely need to be extroverted in MOST cases. The exception to this that i know of are IT management roles, and even here that has been rapidly changing. This would be more of an exception to the rule. Our main manager is extremely introverted, however his expertise far outweighs that. All our other managers are the opposite with slightly less technical skills.

  • +6

    Haha. I love that the OP outed themselves (see basically every other reply here).

    One assumes you're talking about people management so you can't neglect or treat people as just 'resources' that only exist to you to get a job done.

    I'm an introvert and a similar quiet achiever and I don't care for the chit chat either but that's me. I know I'm not a natural manager. I recognise other people need to know their organisation cares about them more than just getting a job done (or least appear to).

    The flip side is that 'the game' is rigged to those who are extroverted or can exploit the nature of people to get what they want.

  • +28

    Going up the chain of command isn't always about being more skilled. In fact, you'll find as you go up, it's less technical but more bureaucratic or problem solving etc, depending on your industry.

    I don't think you'll find any Country or organisation that has its leader as a quiet type person. I'm not sure what type of organisation/industry you work, but with mine, managers still need to demonstrate certain characteristics etc to be able to work in that position.

    Putting technical skills aside, with your introvert nature, would you be able to manage arguments or conflicts? Would you be able to stand up and represent your team or organisation for upper or external management issues?

    Sorry to say, but it sounds like you have challenges representing yourself in that work environment let alone a team of co-workers.

    Commenting that someone spends an hour talking isn't necessarily a measure of how well they work or that they're not suitable for the job. Are they more efficient when they do work? Have they other skills that you're not recognising?

    You may need to do review yourself and work on the areas you know need attention - working or strengthening on the areas you are already strong in may not assist as those may not be what's required to get ahead for your workplace.

    • Well said. I'd give you the position!

    • “I don't think you'll find any Country or organisation that has its leader as a quiet type person.”
      Elon Musk is a self-proclaimed introvert entrepreneur.

      • +7

        That must be why I see him doing all the pr stunts all the time.

      • +2

        Self-proclaimed introvert sounds like an oxymoron.

      • +3
        • Bill Gates
        • Steve Wozniak
        • Warren Buffet
        • [etc, etc]
  • +3

    I believe quiet achievers can make it to managerial level, but how easy it is depends on your profession. If your profession requires you to be vocal, then it will be much more difficult. I've worked for several Big 4 accounting firms. I still remember several people referring to me as a "quiet achiever" / BP. I didn't actually get promoted to manager but when I changed jobs I started as a manager. Eventually I was promoted to senior manager then left that profession shortly after. My written advice was good so I didn't really need to be vocal. Just enough for presentations, training etc.

    A lot of professions require people to work in a team. The idea being that a team that has closely bonded members work better than a team of randoms, as members know the capabilities of each other and sometimes members become close friends and friends usually go that extra bit for other friends. As a manager, one needs to develop the skills of team members and to address their grievances. A good manager (and leader) spends time knowing their team members and relating to them to find out their needs. Thus, the occasional need for sincere chit chat.

    To be a quiet achiever and to be successful, you still need to stand out, eg, the work you perform needs to be impressive. However, IMO, if there is someone performing at the same level but who is more "willing to engage with others" then that person is more likely to be promoted as they are likely to be seen as more team friendly. Of course there is the other extreme, where someone can be too loud which can be a turn off. YMMV.

  • +4

    Management role will require having difficult conversations with people
    If perception of you is you have no conversations at all then can see this counting against you.
    What is it about the manager role that interests you?

    • +3

      Also curious, What is it about the manager role that interests you? Is the extra $ really worth it?

  • +1

    It's so interesting seeing the comments esp regarding introverts/extroverts.

    Anyways there's a theory that success is correlated with a disagreeable personality. This issue here is OP is being perceived as too agreeable which is not a good trait for management.

    • +1

      I’ve looked at a few meta-analyses
      While some traits are found to link with job performance, the combo of motivation, personality and IQ explain 60% of the variance in job performance, meaning 40% cannot be attributed or explained consistently.
      Given the range of studies finding different traits linked to success, it can also work to predict traits more linked with failure/less optimal outcomes. For a senior leader I’d suggest you want balance from an agreeable perspective, not too far either side of the scale.

  • +13

    I'm naturally an introvert but I've learned to be an ambivert. It's really just about what the situation demands.

    So yeah, if you're looking to be a manager, you don't need to talk socially for an hour a day, but you do need to learn to build relationships with people and offer useful insights in meetings etc.

    Relationships build trust and understanding while speaking up means you can improve the whole team and business, not just your own work.

    I hope that helps and good luck.

  • +5

    On top of what is said a lot above, you will probably find the extrovert water-fountain talker is also better at boss arse-kissing, whereas you will find it a waste of time. That's an important skill for getting promotions.

  • +9

    Besides being a promotion - you really need to think about why you want to be in management.
    "I am the introverted type who prefers to quietly get things done without a fuss and without troubling other people". Regardless of what industry you are in - as a manger: you will definitely not have a quiet life - you will hear about everyone's every little problem. You will be a mediator, a listener and mentor. You will have difficult conversations with people whilst convincing them to continue to go the extra mile for you.

    On the second point about being rejected for a previous application; a high performer also needs to be the master of their own destiny. You can't expect your manager to know where you want your career to go. If you don't already do this - I would recommend setting up recurring meetings with you manager and 1up every quarter to discuss your career.
    Similarly, if you want to be in management - you need to show interest; this might not be the best analogy, but it's like someone applying to join the footy team when they've never played a game in their life. Start small, go for step-up positions, ask how you can help your leader and add runs on the board.

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