• out of stock

Maltesers Gold Choc Snack & Share Gift Bucket 450g $7 ($6.30 S&S) + Delivery ($0 with Prime/ $59 Spend) @ Amazon AU

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Maltesers Gold Choc Snack & Share Gift Bucket 450g $7 ($6.30 S&S) + Delivery ($0 with Prime/ $59 Spend) @ Amazon AUAffiliate
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dins on 09/03/2024 - 15:44 amazon.com.au (2012 clicks)
Last edited 09/03/2024 - 23:19 by 1 other user
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This post contains factual content which may be too intense and/or offensive for some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

A Maltese man goes into a restaurant. He tells the waitress "I wanna two pissis toast." She brings only one piece. He yells "I want two piss." She replies "go to the toilet." The Maltese goes "you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate." The waitress shouts "you better not piss on the plate" and calls security to escort him out.

So the Maltese man goes into another restaurant. This time the waitress brings him a spoon and a knife but no fork. He tells the waitress "I wanna fock, I wanna fock on the table." The waitress immediately calls over security and again he's escorted out.

The bewildered Maltese man then decides that he has had enough for the day and heads back to his hotel room. When he enters the room he sees that there are no sheets on his bed.

So he picks up the phone and rings the manager and tells him "I wanna sheit." The manager replies "there's a toilet in the room." The Maltese man then starts shouting "you no understand, I wanna sheit on my bed." The manager yells back "you better not sh!t on the bed" and then gets security to escort him out of the room.

The Maltese man all confused and frustrated then goes to the checkout desk, and once everything is sorted out and he's ready to leave, the man there says to him "peace on you." The Maltese man angrily replies back "piss on you too you sonnafa beach" and grudgingly heads out the door.

So the moral of the story is that contrary to popular belief Maltesers is not what you call people from Malta. That would most certainly be deemed as racist by today's snowflake society.

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closed Comments

  • Grannular on 09/03/2024 - 15:52
    +11

    My waistline is still recovering from the last Maltesers deal

  • cook99 on 09/03/2024 - 16:06
    +9

    I enjoyed reading this story whilst eating my Redskins and Chicos confectionery.

    • eggaz on 09/03/2024 - 16:17
      +10

      Would have been the trifecta if you were having a box of f*gs too.

      • cook99 on 09/03/2024 - 16:18
        +5

        I can't just have lollies all day, some cheese afterwards would be delightful, but I'm not typing that one!

      • TEER3X on 09/03/2024 - 17:03
        +4

        Can't believe they're called fads now. That ain't gonna last long.

        • pollopollo on 09/03/2024 - 17:30
          +3

          Been called that since the 90s

          • MisterTee on 09/03/2024 - 17:49
            +3

            @pollopollo: Yep. Changed the name when I was a kid. I’m now in my 40s.

            Good memories of when they still had the red tip and I’d pretend to be smoking. So much tastier than actually smoking rolls of paper or bark as we used to.

            • seamonkey on 09/03/2024 - 20:28
              +2

              @MisterTee: amateur. I'm in my 50s - we upleveled immediately to Big Boss Cigars.

          • Eeples on 09/03/2024 - 18:00
            +2

            @pollopollo: I think he was making a pun on ‘fads’ not lasting long.

  • berger on 09/03/2024 - 16:10
    +3

    I would like to order these but with extreme heat it would be unfortunate to deliver when I’m not home tomorrow. That’s the excuse I’m using to not buy them.

    • l005e on 09/03/2024 - 16:16
      +1

      Yes i find chocs melted even if they hand you the delivery

    • FrugalNotStingy on 09/03/2024 - 16:55
      +4

      Last time when I ordered these (milk chocolate ones) in Oct and it arrived melted and all the Maltesers turned into a big clump. I had to use a knife to dig the chunks out to eat it. No need to mention the crispy centre bits fly out every time I dig. Such a mess.

      • Aureus on 09/03/2024 - 17:02
        +5

        Just report it to Amazon and then you can enjoy your Malteser clump for free.

    • lode on 09/03/2024 - 18:19
      +1

      My estimated delivery is in late March to early April, so hopefully by then the heatwaves are over. Unless it already melted while in the warehouse.

  • OzBMate629 on 09/03/2024 - 16:14
    +2

    Are these any good? How do they compare to OG maltesers?

    • rattle on 09/03/2024 - 17:14
      +1

      Like all foods, people will have different opinions.
      All I can say is that the original are absolutely fantastic and I actually prefer that white chocolate, caramilk like goodness of these ones.
      I've ordered a bunch and will have the wife hide them for me. Yes, I am that weak.

    • Grannular on 09/03/2024 - 18:12
      +1

      I have loved the OG since I was a kid. I like these better

  • AustriaBargain on 09/03/2024 - 16:15
    +1

    You can say shit here without it being censored btw. It's one of the best parts of OZB.

  • Tyrx on 09/03/2024 - 16:16
    +3

    With the heat wave these will melt while in transit…

    • respecticle on 09/03/2024 - 16:41
      +4

      Mine arrived as a single giant ball of chocolate thanks to the last heat wave.

      Still ordered 😎

      • liamisred on 09/03/2024 - 16:49
        +2

        I mean it's free after you click the "damaged in transit" option I suppose?

  • ifreddo on 09/03/2024 - 16:34
    +3

    Share? Pfft

  • sharkyoz on 09/03/2024 - 16:56
    +1

    the fokka friendship will be there soon

  • rattle on 09/03/2024 - 17:11
    +1

    Thanks very much for the heads up on this. I personally prefer this one to the original, which I never expected as the original are so damned good!
    Stocked up on them at this great price and they'll melt on the way with any luck as the child in me loves to break them off in chunks from a solid melted mass.

    Much appreciated and have a great day.

  • cleavy on 09/03/2024 - 17:15
    +2

    also $8 at NQR, if you prefer to buy from a store.

  • io on 09/03/2024 - 17:54
    +1

    Thank you. Bought 2 for mother.

  • charmandad on 09/03/2024 - 18:14
    +1

    I think this is now OOS.

  • Grannular on 09/03/2024 - 18:15
    +1

    Anyone still able to add this to cart?

    • spaceinvader2054 on 09/03/2024 - 18:16
      +1

      Nah, cart was glitching for a bit but it is out of stock now.

  • CarbonTwelve on 09/03/2024 - 20:51
    +1

    Accidentally received these when buying Maltesers last time. Maltesers are very sugary and sweet. Gold Maltesers are a whole 'nother level. Way too sweet even for me.

  • Eeples on 09/03/2024 - 21:15
    +1

    Cool.

    Is this the joke forum now?

    I have one and then I will see myself out.

    A Jew and Maori pass each other on the street.

    The Maori says to the Jew, 'Hey Brew'

  • lovepub on 09/03/2024 - 21:42
    +3

    Thank god this is out of stock. Otherwise obesity awaits me

  • pakkapie on 11/03/2024 - 17:14
    +2

    Got mine today, one big melted blob, why would Amazon deliver chocolate in 40 degree weather…

    • lonewolf on 03/04/2024 - 20:34

      I dont think this is a once off, i have seen reviews where others had this same issue and my order from a few months ago had this issue as well.

  • lonewolf on 03/04/2024 - 20:33

    This is the issue i had with them from my order in november last year as well, Only found out during easter as i had been saving them up for an easter party. My friends opened it up and thought i was trying to give them expired chocolate, it was all one big blob!!! and i found out ALL my containers are like that.

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