Unfaithful Neighbour Asked Me to Remove CCTV Cameras

I live in a townhouse with a shared driveway. A couple of months ago, a young family moved in. On my early morning jogs, I'd see the husband go to work. We made small talk and he told me that he often worked long hours and sometimes FIFO. A family man is a man I respect.

His wife recently confronted me about my CCTV cameras in the shared driveway. She said it made her feel uncomfortable and that she had privacy concerns. My cameras are pointed at my portion of the shared driveway and not into anyone's private space. With the rise of violent home invasions, my cameras are for everyone's safety.

I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over. I didn't think much of it at first, perhaps a brother or a friend, until she raised her concerns regarding the cameras and I put two and two together. Are her privacy concerns genuine or does she want to discretely fool around whilst her husband is on FIFO?

I'm unsure of the outcome that she is expecting but she implied that she wants them removed. That certainly won't happen. Should this escalate, what can I do? Do I tell her husband and show him the footage of all the men in his house with his wife? Take it up with strata? Bikies?

Stay tuned.

Comments

    • +3

      From the OP:

      I noticed the wife would sometimes have other men over. I didn't think much of it at first, perhaps a brother or a friend, until she raised her concerns regarding the cameras and I put two and two together.

      So where in this do you get that the OP is filming the other blokes wife in any capacity?
      Is it creepy to pay attention to who is frequently passing your own home?

      I personally have amazing neighbours in the middle house with a set up like this. They don’t skip a beat when it comes to seeing who is up and down our driveway and have stopped a would be burglar in their tracks.

      • +2

        OP offered to share footage of men in the home to give to the husband.

        Everyone here seems to assume that OP is correct that infidelity is occuring, and therefore filming people coming and going is somehow a justifiable privacy invasion.
        And I agree what they are doing is legal, but that has no relevance to whether the neighbor's privacy is being abused.

        Consider the neighbor's point of view.
        OP puts up cameras covering the shared drive way. The neighbor says, "it isn't something I like, will you remove them?" and OP responds, certainly not, I am not breaking the law.

        Then the OP begins keeping track of everyone coming and going in the neighbor's house. Again, this isn't illegal, but it is certainly privacy invasive.
        Now the OP is considering approaching the woman's husband with accusations she is fooling around with multiple men, and offering to show footage or the men visiting the house. That is very, very privacy invading.

        If the husband replies, "when my mates come round to join our zoom D&D session I'm really displeased you are spying and filming them."
        I was worried about being away from home, so I appreciate them checking in on her.
        I am really very concerned though that you are spending all this time watching my wife when I am away."

        "Why would you be so disrespectful of her privacy?"

        • +9

          OP offered is considering sharing footage of men in the coming and going from the home to give to the husband.

          Fixed that statement for you.

          And he is considering it, but not yet decided whether to follow through.

          Everyone here seems to assume that OP is correct that infidelity is occuring,

          It may or may not be the case. Based on the limited information available, it certainly could be.

          and therefore filming people coming and going is somehow a justifiable privacy invasion.

          You can film basically anyone or thing in public legally, there is no invasion of privacy.
          An invasion of privacy would be sticking a camera up to their window or over their fence or generally getting all up in their actual private space.

          And I agree what they are doing is legal,

          No you dont.

          but that has no relevance to whether the neighbor's privacy is being abused.

          Their privacy is not being abused, but there is a definite grey area as to what the OP does with his footage.

          Consider the neighbor's point of view.
          OP puts up cameras covering the shared drive way. The neighbor says, "it isn't something I like, will you remove them?" and OP responds, certainly not, I am not breaking the law.

          Unfortunate for them, but ultimately beyond their control.

          Then the OP begins keeping track of everyone coming and going in the neighbor's house. Again, this isn't illegal, but it is certainly privacy invasive.

          How do you know the OPs habits and how he has come to his conclusions? He has briefly mentioned some of the information he has put together but not said how it all came about.

          He might of seen people walking past his house while out doing yard work, taking the bins out, going out or coming home, exercising etc. You make it sound as if the OP just sits staring at the camera, when in fact he may just have the footage but of actually seen these people in person.

          Now the OP is considering approaching the woman's husband with accusations she is fooling around with multiple men, and offering to show footage or the men visiting the house. That is very, very privacy invading.

          That is a moral grey area.
          But not privacy invasion.

          If the husband replies, "when my mates come round to join our zoom D&D session I'm really displeased you are spying and filming them."

          Great ending for all involved.

          I was worried about being away from home, so I appreciate them checking in on her.

          Like any good neighbour should.

          I am really very concerned though that you are spending all this time watching my wife when I am away."

          Maybe they think that, maybe not.

          Maybe she is being unfaithful and he was suspicious of a dude and the video confirms it…

          "Why would you be so disrespectful of her privacy?"

          If thats the case, at least the OP has more understanding and reason to consider removing or redirecting the camera.

          Or the flip side, the neighbour says: thank you for confirming my suspicions.

    • Ms Keggs, is that correct meaning of your username/alias? Do you live in a townhouse?

  • Tell her that you also like dipping sauces.

  • +5

    Is she good looking???

    • +9

      We must have the same friend asking this question.

      • +1

        My friend was going to ask her about her massaging and manscaping services

        • +1

          Lol. 100% the same friend then.

  • +8

    You are within your rights to install CCTV on your property. It only becomes an issue when it disturbs/impedes a neighbor's use of their own land (like a huge flood light).

      • +2

        What are the rules about cameras with Body Corporate? What about smart doorbells?

        • -1

          What are the rules about cameras with Body Corporate?

          Ask your body corporate.
          They won't all be the same.

          Many specifically do not allow CCTV cameras on common property without approval.

          • @jv:

            Ask your body corporate.

            You're the one telling us we can't install cameras if there is a BC. So why don't you tell us.

            • -2

              @JimmyF:

              So why don't you tell us.

              You need to read the relevant BC rules.
              Some allow it.
              Some don't.
              Other's require approval.

              • @jv:

                You need to read the relevant BC rules.
                Some allow it.
                Some don't.

                But thats isn't what you said, you said

                They are not within their rights to install CCTV on their property if there is a body corporate.

                So jv lies yet again.

                • @JimmyF:

                  They are not within their rights to install CCTV on their property if there is a body corporate.

                  Correct.

                  The BC determines whether you can or not.

                  You don't have the right to install one if they don't approve.

                  • @jv:

                    You don't have the right to install one if they don't approve.

                    Who said you need them to be approved?

                    As you just said

                    You need to read the relevant BC rules.
                    Some allow it.

                    So if they allow it, why do you need to get it approved?

                    Again, jv lies!

                    • -2

                      @JimmyF:

                      Who said you need them to be approved?

                      The Body Corporate

                      • @jv:

                        The Body Corporate

                        But you just said I had to read the relevant BC rules and see if they allowed it. So do I need approval?

                        So more jv lies!

                        • @JimmyF:

                          So do I need approval?

                          Ask your body corporate

                          • +1

                            @jv:

                            Ask your body corporate

                            I didn't need to ask them, it was in the relevant BC rules that allowed it.

                            So no approval required!

                            jv lied

                            • -1

                              @JimmyF:

                              I didn't need to ask them

                              Then you won't know.

                              • +1

                                @jv:

                                Then you won't know.

                                jv lied….

                                Why do I need to ask if it says I can do it?

                                • -1

                                  @JimmyF:

                                  jv lied….

                                  No, you're lying…

                                  • +1

                                    @jv:

                                    No, you're lying…

                                    At what point have I lied or made a claim that wasn't true?

                                    #jvlied

                                    • -1
                                      • +2

                                        @jv: That wasn't a lie, it was a statement on what you said, which is incorrect. You can install cameras without BC approval, as you said so yourself if the BC rules allow them. No need to seek 'approval'

                                        #jvlied

                                        • +1

                                          @JimmyF:

                                          That wasn't a lie

                                          It was.

                                          Now you are lying about lying.

                                          • +1

                                            @jv: #jvlied

                                            • -1

                                              @JimmyF: #JimmyFliedaboutjvlying

                                              • +1

                                                @jv: Another jv lies….Show me where I lied jv!

                                                #jvlied

                                                • -2

                                                  @JimmyF: #JimmyFliedaboutjvlying

                                                  • +1

                                                    @jv: So you can't?

                                                    Yet again, #jvlied

                    • -1

                      @JimmyF: Do you have some reading or comprehension impediment? Where did he lie? You may disagree with the statement but that's not a reason to call someone a liar.

                      • -1

                        @dr:

                        Do you have some reading or comprehension impediment

                        Nope, do you?

                        Where did he lie?

                        Its been provided above.

                        You may disagree with the statement but that's not a reason to call someone a liar.

                        If you scroll up, jv replied saying you are not within your rights to install CCTV on your property if there is a body corporate.

                        This is a lie, even jv went on to confirm by saying

                        You need to read the relevant BC rules.
                        Some allow it.
                        Some don't.
                        Other's require approval.

                        So what it is?

                        jv started with a blanket not within your rights to install CCTV on your property if there is a body corporate, to you can install it if the BC agrees or you can install without BC approval.

                        So yeah, #jvlied, deal with it.

                      • @dr: So didn't agree your mate #jvlied so negged instead? LOL

  • You've said "driveway" and then "all the men in his house with his wife?"…..how do you know these men "in" his house? You sir, are very nosey.

    • +8

      he spends all his time peeking out through a gap in his blinds.

      • +1

        voyeur or Cary Grant?

        • +5

          James Stewart in Rear Window

          • @bohn: sorry my bad…have not watch it for a while.

          • @bohn: Cryptic crossword clue today.
            Bring up chance to see voyeurustic gem. (4,6)

    • +4

      I think its a safe assumption that if someone makes their way up a driveway to a house…. they're going inside the house. Particularly given its a townhouse and they tend not to have front yards you can hang around in.

      • +5

        And what other reason could there be than sex? In a house! A woman! A man!

        • +5

          I get that this is exciting for you, but you need to calm down.

          • +2

            @smartazz104: In the heading it says unfaithful, in the post it says fooling around, and sharing footage of men in the house.
            I don't think I'm the one imagining stuff.

            • +7

              @mskeggs: Look there's many reasons. I watched many videos like plumbers, poolboys, sparkles, appliance inspectors, pizza deliveries, tutors, property inspectors and one guy was even an astronaut.

              The most probable answer is… you already know it, jehovah's witness.

        • OnlyFan

    • +4

      Leave OP alone, he's just making sure the visiting men don't keep parking their "truck" in his neighbours "driveway"

      • decent sized driveway, pretty sure two trucks could fit.
        OP is just mad it's not his truck.

    • -1

      Pan, Tilt and Zoom

  • +3

    What you need to do is get a bit cryptic with this. Tell hubby you've heard a catchy little tune, but you're not sure what it means, and ask him if he can explain it to you:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AwXKJoKJz4

  • +1

    Keep some of the footage. You might get a free fence replacement! /s

    Seriously though, if something does come up it could help the husband who appears to be the innocent party. I wouldn't share the footage unless requested.

    She could be part of organised crime too

  • +5

    A family man is a man I respect.

    I'm probably off base but I'm getting big neotrad incel who assumes all modern women are adulterers vibes here.

    • Firmly on base, I think.
      Posting history all over the place.

      • +2

        Yeah I feel like only a feeble Tate follower could look at a tradie punching out long hours and assume because of that he's some respectable family man. Like dude get off the computer and lift some weights and stop fapping over your neighbors masculinity.

    • -3

      I'm sorry that your dad wasn't around?

    • Had to scroll this far to find it. Thank you.

    • +5

      I'm probably off base but I'm getting big neotrad incel who assumes all modern women are adulterers vibes here.

      I'd say you just don't have much familiarity with the impacts of FIFO work on family dynamics and spousal relationships.

      Cheating/infidelity and divorce/relationship dissolution is an extremely common outcome in FIFO marriages/relationships, along with many other adverse impacts to long-term physical and mental health of both FIFO workers and their partners/children. There's been a good amount of research and literature into this topic that confirms that FIFO work is basically as destructive to your health, personal life and relationships in the long-term as a serious substance abuse problem (which is also a common side effect of FIFO work).

      I've lost count of the amount of FIFO workers I've personally known who either cheated or were cheated on, it's almost a cliche about the industry at this point. And even if that doesn't occur, breakups/divorces still occur at a much higher rate than the general population if one partner is a long-term FIFO worker.

      It's not remotely controversial to say that infidelity/relationship issues can be much higher than average in various professions/industries, especially those that are high-stress jobs requiring frequent travel resulting in prolonged periods of time away from home. The airline industry is another infamous example.

  • -2

    Just wait for Penny to bring Sinwas as a refugee. He and his mate will deal with her the traditional way!

  • +11

    he told me that he often worked long hours and sometimes FIFO
    A family man is a man I respect.

    I'm not seeing the connection

    • -2

      He leaves his family for extended periods, possibly because of greed, therefore to be respected.
      Morals from a prosperity cult.

      • +1

        possibly because of greed

        Maybe he just needs to get away from his family?

      • -1

        Or maybe he is fresh migrant, or sole bread winner in the household, or a man struggling to make ends meet (paying rent or mortgage at current interest rates), or maybe does not have necessary skills/education for a comfortable six figures white collar job. Don't be a bigot @mskegs

  • +17

    maybe see if you can slip one in when the husband is out fifo

  • +3

    I smell bullcrap

    • Very strongly.

  • +8

    Tilt the camera so it doesn't go into her property at all and show her that it doesn't show her property on your phone, and never bring it up again. Stay out of it, you don't the drama in your life with your neighbours of all people. Don't tell her you suspect she's cheating, just stay out of it. Do not underestimate how involvement in this drama could cost you in time and peace. This isn't your war.

  • +5

    A shared driveway has no right to privacy. Unless there are body corporate laws preventing this you are acting within the law. Unless you are recording audio. Then it gets complicated.

  • +7

    you always can say it is a fake camera

    • +5

      Like a fake taxi?

    • +2

      It has a red light flashing at night time which indicates power.

      Don't want or need to lie as I'm not doing anything wrong.

  • +3

    My better judgment says to just not get involved. If she brings up the camera issue, show her that it doesn't cover anything other than your entrance.

  • +2

    It's just the milk man

    • +2

      Milking the lady?

  • +1

    You jump to conclusions when the woman only has plumbing issues.

    • +2

      Yeah, someone checking out her plumbing.

      • -1

        or cutting the grass and trimming the bush/hedge

    • +1

      She could be buying weed to bake brownies for her cancer stricken mother who has nausea from her chemo. These men could be her kids coming around to catch up.

    • +11

      Careful mate, don't let them catch you writing comments like that on the library computers. You'll be back on the bus to the care home lickety split.

    • +6

      However if men do the same they are still wrong and evil
      Right?

      This is your story, but all I see is you degrading women in your post.

      As they say, the best time to delete this post was immediately after posting it. The second best time is now.

      • +1

        Great call out.

        Or even better:
        Don't delete the post, take real ownership, and commit to doing better.

    • +3

      Speaking of strong incel vibes.

  • +15

    “lol… no. The cameras are there for my protection not to inconvenience your privacy. They are pointed at areas that are readily visible from anyone walking past. I will not be removing the camera.”

    • +3

      ^^^ This!

      plus is she good looking and offer massaging and manscaping services

    • -7

      "That's why I am approaching your husband about what I have recorded and my fantasies about your sex life."
      Completely unrelated to any privacy concerns.

      • +6

        Not what I said at all, I merely stated what I would say to someone who asked me to remove my cameras. I never made any mentions on my stance on OP’s assumptions on the gentleman callers and what they should do about it.

        OP has every right to film and record their own driveway, shared or not. If the area is publicly viewable from the street, it is fair game for surveillance cameras to operate. While I acknowledge the neighbour's right to “ask” about the camera, they do not have the “right” to tell OP remove it.

        And I usually have a lot of respect for your comments and answers in these forums, but on this one, you seem to have a bee in your bonut or some triggered personal grievance over this… Honestly, save some face, just walk away from this one. This is not the hill you want to die on.

        • -1

          Fair enough.
          But "not illegal" doesn't mean fair game.
          It's not illegal for me to stand on the footpath taking photos of everyone coming and going from your place, but you would find it obnoxious, and I wouldn't expect to maintain a neighborly relationship with you if you asked me to stop and I ignored you.

          • +6

            @mskeggs: The problem is, that is not what OP is doing. This is not the same thing. 99% of the filming going on from a security camera is garbage or noise. It’s worthless. It is seldom viewed unless something goes wrong. People are not just sitting around in their house watching their driveway footage, smeared in peanut butter while they pleasure themselves.

            OP is not sitting in the drive way taking photos. Someone standing at the front of my house taking photos of who is coming and going is NOT the same as a security camera recording hours and hours of pointless footage of a cement driveway.

            And I wouldn’t give a shit if some idiot was standing out the front of my house taking photos. There literally is nothing I can do about it if they were. The fact that they are there may even act as a deterrent to wayward individuals entering my property knowing that this person is standing there taking photos.

            And if you were my neighbour and standing out there taking photos, I would 100% take photos of you taking photos of my house and laugh about you on social media as some nut job, but it’s just photos of my driveway and front of my house, so, go your hardest. You’d get bored of it long before I ever gave a (fropanity).

            And “legal” absolutely means “fair game”. It’s so close to being fair game that the dictionary definition of “legal” should absolutely be “fair game.” Again, my right to be secure in my house, trumps your perceived privacy from me filming my shared driveway that anyone can see from the street. Are you going to get upset with all the people driving around with dash cams in their cars taking videos of your driveway multiple times a day? Wait till,you hear about Google “Street View”…

            And to add to your pointless rantings on this thread… I put it to you that if you were a FIFO worker and you suspected your partner was running a side hustle in whoring and you wanted proof, 100% you would be begging me for any assistance with video footage of what people are coming and going. Your house gets robbed, who you going to ask to help? That’s right, the guy with the security camera. Your car gets vandalised in the driveway, who are you going to ask for any evidence?

            So, I’m sorry, the pros of having the security camera there FAR outweighs the cons, even more so that the camera isn’t filming anything where there is a “reasonable expectation or privacy”.

            If a neighbour ever had an issue with my cameras, I would explain to them that they only face “publicly accessible areas” of the property, and if they ever asked me for help with footage, I would tell them to eat a bag of (fropanity) and get a court order if they ever wanted to see anything from my security system. The ones that cry the loudest are the ones that come begging when the shit hits the fan…

            TL;DR: That is not even remotely the same issue as OP is talking about, so you’re still wrong.

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