One of my wife nephews is getting married in Western Sydney later this year and they have asked for $$$ gifts, since they already have everything they need.
Since we live over an hour away from them, I've only met them a few times and would say we are not really very close to them.
But they seem like nice people and the greater family considers themselves close, if that makes sense.
These days, what would be the expected $$$ gift for a couple in Sydney?
Thanks
At least $200 per person otherwise, Cover your meals and drinks hopefully. It's a whole day/evening out somewhere nice - and hopefully sets them up for a nice honeymoon. I'm frugal as hell - but this is one area I'm happy to give freely.
$400 per person would really leave a big impression, if the nephew ever gets rich and famous, or becomes a super villain, they will surely remember the gesture.
Thats over 10 years ago.
The reception will probably cost at least $150pp so work on that as a guide.
Just enough to cover your seat at the table. Maybe $100-$150/pp depending how fancy it is.
This, imo the basic courtesy. It’s a (presumably nice) night out with the misso and you get a feed and at least a couplea beers. $100 these days doesn’t get you much mileage on a night out anyway.
But think of all the other people you're expected to engage with, all those speeches you have to listen to and all those other mind boggling traditions like cake cutting, father's dance, first dance, couples dance and whatever other god forsaken experience which means nothing to anybody but the bride!
Oh, forgot about the minute of silence for the fallen vets and the extra minute silence and prayer over the empty table setting and chair for the grandparent who fied two weeks before the wedding.
Then the dancing mixed up with all the really old people on walking frames and every other generation down to those kiddies stuffed full of red lollies and soft drink.
Then that hour or two hanging around like a dag on a sheep's bum whilst the bridal party gets their photo shoot.
And that's if nobody bought a bunch of boisterous kids to smile, nod at and tell em how much they 've grown!
That "free meal" with the Mrs comes at a cost!
Heck, My in-laws were Scottish. MILwas quite disappointed when I nixed the groom and groomsmen wearing kilts, but damnif she didn't get to put a spotlight on the whole Scottish thing just before speeches - I'm talking a whole bunch of dudes dancing in kilts complete with BAGPIPES!
And I mean A LOT OF THEM!
And no, this wasn't Paul Mcartney wandering along some beach in Scotland woefully warbling Mull of Kyntyre along with the pipers, this was inside the grand ballroom of a 5 star hotel with nowhere for anybody to run away to !
And if that's not enough, there's the full hour of standing and sitting on hard wooden benches and praying to deities you probably don't believe in and singing songs that nobody's heard since primary school all while some old dude wearing a dress stands up the front telling you what to do - all before you get near a beer or a cracker !
Muppet: detected
This
Don't go giving $50/head when you know it'd cost you more to eat and drink there
at the renovated pub down the road , almost cant even get a burger, chips, salad and a beer for $50 … wild times and this is in brisbane ffs lol
Which pub is this?
Yes, bare minimum is covering the cost of your seat. If it's a half decent venue for and drinks will be at least $150pp. Be generous, share the love. $250pp.
$500 gift (unless you are Level 1 related) for a couple going to a wedding is ridiculous.
Agree. We're going to a wedding (my wife's God daughter and she's very close to the family) in the UK in September and there's an online gift website setup. We bought a gift on there for GBP75, which is just under $150. That seems appropriate to me.
@R4: Not sure why this is been downvoted, if you're travelling to UK for a wedding that's already a considerable expensive, going a bit lighter on the gift seems ok to me in this particular scenario.
@Randolph Duke: Exactly. This is going to be a very expensive trip and my wife's goddaughter is very happy and grateful that we're making the effort. My post was downvoted because OzB is teeming with downvote cowards/Wayne Kerr's who hide behind keyboard anonymity. Losers basically.
@R4: When my friends and cousins travelled overseas to attend my wedding I specifically told them no gift needed.
It really depends on what your financial circumstances are and by extension (to a lesser degree) what your greater family dynamic financial circumstances are.
Generally speaking, with the number of people attending a wedding and the excitement/massive life event it is unlikely that they are going to mark down: nige0090 only gave us $x .
TLDR; Give what you can afford
no there isn't. That might be a particular thing at certain ethnicity weddings but it is definitely not the norm. Usually people put their names and the couple decides if they want to track who gave what.
Seems like a cultural thing for some people to "keep a log" and judge people.
really? so you just drop cash into a pool? with no name on it and nothing to say the cash is from you?
really? so you just drop cash into a pool? with no name on it and nothing to say the cash is from you?
I never said that. People provide a written card with their name and the money in it.
@coffeeinmyveins: Yes that my point. They will know who gave how much and if a certain guest gave significantly less than the average/median then they will definitely know.
@Jaduqimon: Then that's fine. You invited them to your wedding, their presence is their present, anything else is gravy. You shouldn't expect people to give you hundreds for your wedding.
@coffeeinmyveins: yes i get that but we are responding to OP's question and from what I can gather he clearly is concerned about the judgement he will receive based on his gift amount…
and I am just saying typically people will remeber the outliers whether they care or not so its up to the OP on how he wants to handle it.
@Jaduqimon: That's a bit different to a nominated gift handler forensically recording every persons gift at the wedding, which is what your first post implied.
I am on that culture that log everything on who give what but not for judging. it's for appreciating people that go beyond the average, so next time they have an event we will go beyond what is expected.
dont really care about people giving less as we invited them to the event so we are just happy they are attending.
Sure And they draft the tight-arses out to be 'crutched' out the back. I also drive better when I'm pissed.
That's just so wrong. A whole other level of tacky!
Sure, it's a given that gifts are expected, but we could at least pretend to be surprised and grateful when somebody goes to the effort.
Why not just collect at the door, call it a surcharge and get a special ink on your hand to show when you want a meal?
I doubt that there will be any formal tracking, but with most weddings there are mental notes taken of who gave what…
You definitely don't want to be remembered ever after as one of the stingy people :-)
Then you're answered your own question! Whatever the amount you would think would consider to be 'one of the stingy people' if it was your wedding is your magic number!
I remember when I got married my parents explicitly told me to make a list of who gave what and to send them the list when we were done. In my culture there is an expectation that in the future if you are invited to someones else's childs wedding, you give at least what was given to your child.
As someone who did keep a log in a spreadsheet, I did this not to judge others but to ensure that I could reciprocate equally at future major events. Sure, people don't give generously with the expectation of it being reciprocated, but it doesn't hurt.
And here was us just keeping track of any gifts we were fortunate enough to receive so we could send them a meaningful personalised thank you note.
You're kidding right? The saying is that the married couple will be up all night after the ceremony spreadsheeting. We recorded all the gifts for our wedding, and we refer to it when we go to their wedding.
and they have asked for $$$ gifts
Discount woolies gift cards.
$0 if you are not attending the wedding.
$100 if you are attending the wedding and not close relatives (I think it's here for you because of the first cousin rule).
$800 if they are keeping a log and you want to save face, or if they are close relatives because it will likely be returned at your own wedding.
Happened at a recent family wedding.
The grooms uncle (so his dads brother) gave a lesser than expected amount and caused controversy.
Why would it it cause controversy? No-one should know except the Bride and Groom and Uncle.
How did anybody else know?
Announced on some electronic notice board like they announce your flights at the airport?
Made to wear a shirt with the gift amount written on the back in sharpie?
$420.69
Cheaper just to give them the Camry.
Might be worth more as parts tbh
That makes cents.
Nice
$150 for people I don't know well.
$200+ depending on relationship.
The amount used to be $100 a few years ago but that doesn't seem like enough nowadays.
The last wedding I went to not many years ago, I think it was $300.
But I suspect that not enough anymore, hence this post.
Tell them the cheque is in the mail.
Mr. Simpson, I can assure you, this check of yours is nonnegotiable.
Oh, yeah? Well, what makes you so damn sure?
See where it says "Void, void, void" and "This is not a check"? "Cash value 1 /20th of a cent." "Mr. Banker, do not honor."
depending on how much you give…
when attended a friends wedding, i gave them $600 as a gift for 2 people and I went to the bank and exchanged it for $1 coins, and put all that into a nicely decorated glass jar.
after 8 years, they still have it on their shelf of treasured photos and stuff.
A good idea for those that have a wishing well.
Love the idea….
Would've been quite heavy, no?
yep.. extra thick glass jar too
If you're not close with them, don't go.
Usually if my wife and I go, its how well we know the couple ($100/$200/$300) + how nice the venue is ($100/$200/$300)
Since we live over an hour away from them, I've only met them a few times and would say we are not really very close to them.
Curious why you were invited then. I guess they felt an obligation to invite their "aunt" to their wedding?
Is it a big wedding and lots of people going?
As someone that got married recently and also asked for cash (or nothing, we don't need it) we saw varying amounts from $100pp to $200pp. It also depends on the size of the wedding.
You could always send your regards that you can't come if you feel like it was a "token" invite, and send $100.
"I guess they felt an obligation to invite their "aunt" to their wedding?"
The greater family considers themselves close, so probably some of that.
They will also have invited various uncles & aunts overseas, who will never come. But needed to be invited.
I don't know about the wedding size yet.
We will go. There will probably be plenty of relatives there that we know and would like to catch up with, even if we don't the actual couple getting married much.
They will also have invited various uncles & aunts overseas, who will never come. But needed to be invited.
I get that this is a cultural thing for some people, but this is such a pet peeve of mine. For our wedding we explicitly only invited people who we wanted to come, and we knew had the capacity to come. For everyone else we sent them copies of things and spoke to them.
Otherwise you get this weird situation where some of those "who will never come" actually do make the effort and you're stuck not being able to invite someone you actually wanted as a result.
An hour away is really not that far?
I was in Melbourne recently and bloody hell, 1 hour in traffic doesn’t really get you far at all..let alone Sydney
I wonder why 'Western Sydney' was mentioned.
Would it make a difference if they got married in Eastern Sydney?
Seven of the ten most expensive suburbs in Australia are located in Sydney's eastern suburbs.
Need to factor in tolls
lol
Airfryer
If it's family and being their elders, i would say min $500 if you can afford so you are not seen as just paying for your seats.
This is the amount I had in mind.
But I wanted some comfort that I was at least in the right ballpark.
more than enough, considering you say you were invited out of obligation.
$500 each person ($1000 in total) or $500 per couple?
When they ask for money, buy them a toaster.
What if they ask for a toaster?
If they want a toaster so badly just give them money to buy a toaster.
200pp now at least… its 2025
love how OP mentions it's Western Sydney. If he didn't include that fact, 300pp.
We always give the couple $500.
Would you like to come to my wedding
He said couple. Can’t get married to yourself.
Today, the minimum catering cost per seat is between $100 and $150. If two of you are attending, you should expect to contribute $150 per person.
Consider that if you went out for a lavish dinner with music, dancing, entertainment, and drinks, you would likely spend a similar amount.
There’s no need to be overly frugal unless you genuinely have financial constraints.
I know friends who have already paid off their mortgage and, even with two kids, attend our functions bringing only a bottle of wine and a card.
A hearty handshake will suffice.
If you cannot spend $150-200pp don't go!
250pp minimum. 888 if they are Asian per couple. Anything less and you probably better not to go.
Can I identify as Asian to get 888?
This is generalising. Not all Asian backgrounds have superstitious numerological beliefs.
As per other replies, $288 (if 2 people) would be the right ballpark $100-$150pp.
It also (unfortunately?) ends up being a little quirky with almost "one of every denomination" so might get seen that way instead.
$88.88 is the go but you need a stash of 1c and 2c pieces
$150pp normally
(but this can go up to $300 pp dependent on the wedding)
But because they're from western Sydney, a $10 bag of meth in an envelope will do the trick.
Wow things have changed. Why would you invite someone you barely know to your wedding and then expect a gift from them which effectively covers the cost of inviting them?
You are really just getting the numbers up so it looks like you have lots of friends and lots of people to compliment you, as long as they pay for themselves.
It’s all about how much can be recovered from the guests.
what's the venue? etiquette is roughly how much it cost to have you at the table plus a bit extra to cover other costs (flowers, photography, wedding planning etc). more if you know them well and want to give extra
bare minimum: enough to cover your cost per head. This can vary from location to location. So if they are inviting you to somewhere nice, give a bit more….if they are inviting you to the local RSL, adjust accordingly.
Anything more than that is up to your own discretion, how generous you are feeling, and how close you are to them.
FYI, where they are from shouldn't impact the decision, but where they decide to host you should matter.
enough to cover your cost per head
Food/Alcohol alone pp is like $150 at least. Add everything else, and you're looking at 300-500 per head depending on how expensive the wedding is.
Depending on the wedding venue and "everything else" you are correct.
But you can do a cheaper wedding if you want to. I know someone that within the past 5 years did a wedding at under $100 a head with everything included. Grant it they didn't pick a luxurious wedding venue, but it was still a beautiful day.
I still stand by what i said though, enough to cover your cost per head.
If you feel the wedding is going to be too expensive for you to afford (and you're not that close to them as the OP described), then don't be afraid to RSVP no.
It is a gift. It's not a sliding scale thing to cover costs.
I know it's a gift, whats your point?
$100pp if you don’t know them