Parents want to give me some of my inheritance now – how do I politely say no?

smit0847 on 28/06/2017 - 23:02

I’m 33, my parents are in their mid-60s. Both good health although Mum is in remission for cancer. They have both worked hard and made smart investment decisions so live very comfortably but fairly simply. I don't know much about their assets other than that they are diverse and complicated.

My parents agreed with my sister and I that the one time in our lives they would help us out financially was when we bought our first home – they contributed some/most of the deposit. I’ve kept this very quiet amongst friends who grumble about housing affordability. My sister and I have learnt our parents acumen for life and both have good jobs, are paying off our mortgages diligently and live fairly comfortably. We don’t need any inheritance from our parents and it would not change our lives much. I think they should be out there spending their money and enjoying their lives – its their money, no one else’s. I am not sitting around waiting for my payday.

My Dad just contacted me out of the blue saying he is reviewing his finances, legal documentation (he is very diligent with record keeping and having affairs in order) and has realised that my sister and I could use money more than they could so wants to give me a tax free gift towards my mortgage. It would reduce my mortgage by about 20%.

The thing is, I already feel guilty about the deposit gift and the easy ride I’ve had into home ownership. I’m quite proud that I’ve been maintaining the mortgage for years by myself and will never ask them for money whatever happens in the future. I don’t want to feel like I’m forever indebted to them and never really stood on my own two feet because they are always there propping me up. If I had kids I would happily pay for their wedding and provide them with a financial gift towards their first house deposit as a wedding present but I would expect them to make it on their own otherwise and certainly wouldn’t be loaning them money if they ran out of money while on backpacking on holidays etc.

How do I politely turn them down? The true reason is I don’t need their money and don’t want it but I can’t think of a nice way to say it. It’s a really lovely thing to do and I don’t want to sound rude or ungrateful – I want to keep making it on my own.

Financial

Comments

  • [Deactivated] on 28/06/2017 - 23:08
    +14

    think you answered your own question.

    • smit0847 on 28/06/2017 - 23:27
      +4

      But how do I politely tell them? Saying 'I don't want you propping me up anymore' makes me sounds like an ungrateful brat

      • [Deactivated] on 28/06/2017 - 23:45

        its your truth and you are allowed to have it and as parents they will have to respect that, we can only tell our truth, and we are not responsible for how other people feel. that might be easier said than done but their response is their truth, emotionally healthy adults understand we don't always agree and needs change etc..

        I don't know your family dynamic's so its hard to tell what will happen, so truth and understanding sure help.

        its like ripping off a band aid some go for the fast and some the slow the result is the same.

        most family's are co-dependant and so while the above should work in a family where everyone is whole and know who they are the norm unfortunately is not so in some or many ways.

        so when all else fails the truth and thick skin helps :)

        just as a side note the old saying the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is a good thing to keep in mind so tell them what you would like to hear if the shoe was on the other foot.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 29/06/2017 - 01:27
        +84

        But how do I politely tell them? Saying 'I don't want you propping me up anymore' makes me sounds like an ungrateful brat

        First World problems…

        of the particularly wealthy.

      • Slippery Fish on 29/06/2017 - 01:39
        +2

        Tell them that even though they wish to see you enjoy the gift they have left for you that you would rather see them put it towards themselves.

        Honestly though some people just live for their family and it might give them more joy to see you use it. Hell build a granny flat for them to stay in when ever they want to visit, if they are as family focused as it seems this would be a gift for both of you.

      • the-mal on 29/06/2017 - 07:27
        +28

        Saying 'I don't want you propping me up anymore' makes me sounds like an ungrateful brat

        So don't say it like that!

        Let them know that it's an incredibly generous offer and that you realise it speaks to how much they love you, but that now, thanks to their previous help and nurturing, you're in a position where you don't need that kind of money and you are enjoying the satisfaction that comes with working hard to pay off your own mortgage. Let them know that they've got so many years ahead of them and that if they're looking to move money around for tax purposes you'd be happy to have the money placed in a trust so you could use it to help care for them when they get old and need that assistance, but that you recognise how hard they worked to build that money and it would make you happiest if it was there to be used for them.

        You're doing this for the right reasons, it's the furthest thing from being a brat.

        • ESEMCE on 29/06/2017 - 08:33
          +109

          Whether it be in your account or theirs, it sounds like if they were to need it you will have the capacity to support them in kind.
          Accept it graciously, drop it into your mortgage (as an offset) as they suggest.
          Maybe start up a Trust Fund for your future kids with the difference in mortgage repayments and let your parents know that this is what you've done.
          That way, you're accepting the offer which will give them pleasure.
          And paying it forward which will give them further pleasure, both in pride that they've raised good kids and in the fact their gift today is helping their grand-kids too!

        • WhyAmICommenting on 29/06/2017 - 10:23
          +3

          @scubacoles:

          Double + this

      • ozbjunkie on 29/06/2017 - 13:15
        +2

        Their reasoning may be about limits to do with capital and pension entitlements.

        You could keep it and return when necessary.

        Otherwise, " appreciate your gifts so far, and I wish to keep striving on my own, and hope you visit me often instead"

        • snook on 29/06/2017 - 17:05
          +1

          such things are counted back 5 years so it would still count in their assests

        • Kevan2 on 29/06/2017 - 17:15
          -1

          @snook: or treated as a loan repayments 10k?pa,

        • ozbjunkie on 29/06/2017 - 20:23

          @snook:

          Depends on their age. But yeah ops parents are over 60 now I re-read the op.

      • nikey2k27 on 29/06/2017 - 13:39
        -3

        I don't blame them for it my dad and mum have same problem I personal let them. now best time before centrelink become involved you know cut age amount money you have before cut centrelink off. Low rate return $200,000 at 2.60% only get 5,000 per year. it also mean you spent more time with them less time working out how to pay the bills. plus if need get into age care system better have a spare $450,000 lay around to pay for it. that Each.

        • allegiance86 on 29/06/2017 - 23:37

          Might need to get a friend to proofread before posting there Nikey

      • KLoNe on 30/06/2017 - 14:45
        +2

        Reach down, check if you still have balls then say to them politely: "Thanks, but no thanks."

      • roweysvn on 01/07/2017 - 18:12

        I've been in a similar position with my father, though not to the extent that you have, but he's been generous here and there regarding certain financial things. I've just gotten to the point where I've said what you've said, but out loud. I've just told him that he should be spending his retirement on himself, not me. He didn't take any offence by it, and I think he's respected the fact that I didn't just jump at the opportunity.

        I think if you're sincere in how you approach it, be sure to mention that you're extremely grateful etc. Perhaps buttering them up with something like "I don't need it due to the fact that you taught me how to be so financially responsible" or words to that effect.

  • Hiroko on 28/06/2017 - 23:19
    +30

    either way youre gonna get it.
    its WHAT you do with it that matters.

    • THICKnSLOW on 29/06/2017 - 12:04
      +7

      that's what she said…

      • jackspratt on 29/06/2017 - 17:02
        +25

        User name checks out.

      • AlienC on 29/06/2017 - 20:37
        -1

        God dayum what a name.. I wonder what else could be thick n slow

        • drfuzzy on 29/06/2017 - 21:33
          +28

          Look no further than Parliament House.

        • AlienC on 30/06/2017 - 00:00
          -1

          @maraco: savage af

        • QW3RTY on 30/06/2017 - 14:38

          Best back-and-forth of this financial year.

  • spackbace on 28/06/2017 - 23:20
    +41

    Suggest a big overseas family trip, if you haven't recently done one?

    Make memories

    Your parents just want to see the money put to a good use I think. They have control over it now so there's no squabbling etc.

    Also, could be a pension thing? Not sure but maybe if your dad let's go of assets now it's better for them? Not sure was just a side thought but mainly I'm sure he just wants to see how it's used, see how it makes your life better off

    • smit0847 on 28/06/2017 - 23:29

      I'm currently living in London and they recently visited. The go overseas every 2 or 3 years - I don't know why it isn't 2 or 3 times a year. I used my frequent flyer points to upgrade them to business class for their first time ever - they absolutely loved it but said 'they could ever imagine being able to do it again'.

      If I was them I'd be making ridiculous bucket lists and doing every single one that I could - they just don't seem very interested in that.

      My sister has 2 young kids and has been overseas once in the last 5 years. She said shed love to visit me but its just too difficult travelling with small kids and she thinks its too selfish to leave them behind.

      They have a good life in Australia - my parents have a family beach house that they recently renovated and my sister, kids and parents go there very regularly together (every few weeks). They don't seem to have much use for the money they have, but then neither do I.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 29/06/2017 - 01:53
        +25

        Do you feel guilty for having good parents, living in a good country or having good health?

        You've already prospered from your inborn advantages, why apply the brakes now? Life isn't fair, so all we can do is make the most of our circumstances. This applies to the fortunate end of the spectrum too.

        If you've mastered the necessities of life and are content with what you have, you could use this windfall to expand your horizons. Invest, start a business, pursue your passions, build a legacy, give to a social cause or cut your hours and work for a social cause.

        There are probably tax advantages to this gift, and your father would prefer you to keep the difference rather than the treasury.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 29/06/2017 - 02:00
          +50

          Alternatively, if they're looking to adopt, my inbox is open. 😇

        • Wystri Warrick on 29/06/2017 - 07:29
          +3

          @Scrooge McDuck: I'll adopt you :)

        • airzone on 29/06/2017 - 09:21
          +10

          Do you feel guilty for having good parents, living in a good country or having good health?

          You've already prospered from your inborn advantages, why apply the brakes now? Life isn't fair, so all we can do is make the most of our circumstances. This applies to the fortunate end of the spectrum too.

          I had a friend who committed suicide ~15 years ago because he felt overwhelmingly guilty that he had a more fortunate life than others. He'd been battling that guilt his whole adult life. Such a waste… To waste the opportunity you have been given through good fortune in life is disrespectful to those who don't have such an opportunity.

        • abb on 29/06/2017 - 09:41
          +3

          @airzone: I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but I don't understand this: "To waste the opportunity you have been given through good fortune in life is disrespectful to those who don't have such an opportunity."

          To take it to an extreme: If a billionaire decides not to buy a new Ferrari, how does that 'disrespect' the starving child soldiers in Africa?

        • WhyAmICommenting on 29/06/2017 - 10:31
          +1

          @abb:
          Ecclesiastes 8:15 if you are interested. Also, a billionaire can enjoy their wealth without buying a Ferrari..

        • airzone on 29/06/2017 - 10:31
          +1

          @abb: It's less about material goods rather than attitude to our opportunities in life.

          Knowing that there are starving child soldiers in Africa, do you feel compelled to join their plight? Starve yourself in the abundance we have here? If you have the opportunity to put a nutritious meal on the table for your family / friends, do you? But just because you can, you shouldn't feel obliged to eat until you vomit.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 29/06/2017 - 12:11
          +10

          @airzone:

          I had a friend who committed suicide ~15 years ago because he felt overwhelmingly guilty that he had a more fortunate life than others. He'd been battling that guilt his whole adult life. Such a waste…

          That's rough mate. 👊

          Suicidal ideation is not a rational response to guilt but a symptom of mental illness which can be treated by a medical professional. As an example, a rational response to that guilt would be to give to people less fortunate.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 29/06/2017 - 12:13
          +4

          @Wystri Warrick:

          I'll adopt you :)

          Great! What activities can we do first? 😊

        • abb on 29/06/2017 - 15:17

          @airzone: Sorry, but I still don't understand from that how anything is "disrespectful to those who don't have such an opportunity".

          For example, if I went to Uganda and laughed in the face of the starving kids, that's disrespectful. Taking $50 that I could donate to a charity and setting it on fire instead, that's disrespectful.

          I have a great many opportunities in life, as a result of random circumstances, but why is it disrespectful to anyone else if I choose not to avail myself of them?

          I mean no offense, just trying to understand.

        • Wystri Warrick on 29/06/2017 - 16:01
          +2

          @Scrooge McDuck: Bargain hunting and then being frugal :)

        • Wystri Warrick on 29/06/2017 - 16:08
          +5

          @airzone: really sorry to hear about you friend :'(.

          If any of these posts has raised concern for anyone please contact:

          Beyond Blue, 1300 22 4636
          Mental health triage, 13 14 65

        • airzone on 29/06/2017 - 17:17
          +1

          @abb: It's not about grabbing every opportunity you come by, but not wasting the ones you have..

          For example, if you had the opportunity to have higher education and took it, then squandering the opportunity is disrespectful to everyone who wanted, but couldn't.

          Having a job and goofing off all day until you get fired, another example..

          Having children and not loving and nurturing them to the best of your ability?

          To put it in context, I went to uni as a prerequisite of my chosen career. Given that I live in and am a citizen of Australia, it was simple to get in, something that many of us take for granted. I enjoyed my time there, but I applied myself to my studies and did the best I could. My wife on the other hand was a minority raised in a country where university was denied to her based on her race. Her only chance to get a higher education was for her parents to send her abroad, but they didn't have the means to do so. If I goofed off at uni, and as a result failed or barely scraped by, how would she feel about it? How could I face her knowing that I had something that she couldn't, and wasted it?

          But this is very distinct from a recent offer I got for a side job. I turned it down because I simply didn't have the time to do it. It's not a wasted opportunity because pragmatically speaking, I could never have dedicated myself to it without compromising by main job and family time.

          edit: within the context of the Op's dilemma: Personally I would take it, and would have it offsetting my mortgage. Although in an extreme case, if they took it and blew it all on blackjack and hookers, they should feel ashamed and I'd look down on them for blowing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Although I doubt that the op would in this case lol

        • abb on 30/06/2017 - 08:20

          @airzone: Thanks, I see what you mean now :)

      • abb on 29/06/2017 - 09:46
        +2

        My sister has 2 young kids and has been overseas once in the last 5 years. She said shed love to visit me but its just too difficult travelling with small kids and she thinks its too selfish to leave them behind.

        Take the money, spend it on bringing everyone over to visit. Sister, kids, and parents (they can help manage the kids on the plane). Or meet them halfway (Thailand?) for a nice family holiday.

        Alternatively, I can give you my bitcoin address. ;)

    • DarthAntz on 29/06/2017 - 00:06
      +1

      This. Make memories.

      rather than worry about how you could decline it, think about how you could be perfectly grateful. Your father has done the math and knows that this will benefit you and him by doing it now, so its best you take the offer then make albums, print a photo book, tell him how you will use the assets he has given you through making a plan for the next 10 years and show that you think about it. do a lot of research and work with your parents to show you consider how you'd make the most of their considerations.

      You are not alone on this consideration and part of life, and im sure you will get good advice here.

  • altomic on 28/06/2017 - 23:23
    +2

    I look at it this way - it gives you a "hand up" and puts you in a good position, and then you can work smarter + harder to give your (future) kids the same "hand up" and help them (not that you tell them that you will. let them work and achieve and then when they are in a position like yours then give them a hand up.

    How do I politely turn them down?

    "hands up who is accepting mum and dads money?"

  • [Deactivated] on 28/06/2017 - 23:24
    +1

    If your family are all on good terms, take it and pay the interest that would go to the bank to them. Win - win.

    • smit0847 on 28/06/2017 - 23:27

      They wont accept it. They would say 'we don't want or need this money and have nothing to do with it'

      • [Deactivated] on 28/06/2017 - 23:30
        +5

        OK, then take the hint that they really, really want grandkids :) Don't be too proud/guilty to accept it, just use it responsibly.

        • smit0847 on 28/06/2017 - 23:35
          +1

          My sister has 2 kids but I am in a same sex relationship with no plans for children anytime soon. If my sister was in the same boat they would be very sad but they're more than happy having 2 rug rats to look after.

        • 811b11e8 on 01/07/2017 - 08:33
          +2

          @smit0847:

          Shut up take the money, put it offset.

          In 20 years give it to sisters rug rats for there home deposit.

      • Kangal on 28/06/2017 - 23:34
        +1

        Perhaps just forward them this?

        https://imgflip.com/i/1rnd2h

  • xoom on 28/06/2017 - 23:29
    +2

    sort of similar boat with the op in that last year it was discussed who gets what property here and abroad. my sister called dibs on property here. my parents agreed. my sister said i get the property overseas.

    not interested in either properties here or overseas. my reasoning was i too want to make it on my own.

    havent said anything to them but one day i will politely refuse when the time comes.

  • Stewardo on 28/06/2017 - 23:38
    +10

    Enjoying their lives, spending their money, maybe that's what he's trying to do. Spending it on something he loves, like spackbase said, while he's still alive to see it. Dad seems like a pretty decent guy, maybe the knowledge that he had helped you would give him more pleasure than a new Mercedes or a world tour. I think at this point he knows your not a leech. I'd swallow your pride, take the money and be grateful. With or without the cash you'll always be indebted to them.

  • outlander on 28/06/2017 - 23:40
    +21

    I think the only practical advice here is to throw it on the ground

    • xoom on 28/06/2017 - 23:47

      sif not take wads of cash and spend them on strippers. lap dances and snort coke off a hookers boobage.

      • outlander on 28/06/2017 - 23:52
        +2

        I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU POISON ME!

        • AGoodName on 29/06/2017 - 08:30
          +2

          That's not my dad, it's a cell phone

        • BeauKilla on 01/07/2017 - 01:49
          +1

          Welcome to the real world jackass!

        • RazorCerb on 01/07/2017 - 20:28
          +1

          YOU CAN'T BUY ME HOTDOG MAN!

      • Stewardo on 28/06/2017 - 23:52
        +1

        That will teach dad not to be generous

        • xoom on 28/06/2017 - 23:53

          he might even join in and make it rain.

        • outlander on 01/07/2017 - 12:43
          +1

          OP doesn't need his handouts.

  • enzioFirenze on 29/06/2017 - 00:11
    +1

    I respect your opinion mate, I implore you, don't feel guilty about the deposit, be grateful that they've made wise decisions and saved up some money for you, not saying you should depend on it but just saying that it's their hard earned money and their way of looking after you even when you are 30+.

  • garetz on 29/06/2017 - 00:58
    +11

    Have you ever thought the gift to you might be in their own best financial interest ? Maybe they are doing it for themselves as much as you. There is no way you can turn it down without sounding like an ungrateful prick.

    Accepting it graciously is your best option.

    • Euphemistic on 29/06/2017 - 07:07
      +2

      This. If you parents need care in their later years having more money will put it back in the hands of the government. They will take a lot more for nursing home etc. check the rules, but I think it is 5years that their gift will count as an asset for the means test for nursing home fees.

      If you do not accept their gift the means test will mean higher fees for nursing home and you won't get as much inheritance.

      The key to it might be making sure it is fair between your siblings. Maybe you think fair might be giving more to your sister because of the grandchildren, but talk it over with your family more.

      My FIL nursing home fees were really high due to his assets, now My MIL has more money than she can spend, but as she is approaching high care the fees will be a lot more unless she gives away a big chunk of money. The money she loaned/gave to her kids years ago (for housing) is already forgotten by the means test so her fees would be reduced already, but not by much. A smart move for the family would be to gift most of her assets to the kids so fees will be less. Knowing that her children would not let her go without, and have some financial sense, means that if she needed money back it would not be a problem.

  • twocsies on 29/06/2017 - 01:07
    +1

    There is no inheritance duty or gift tax in Australia. http://www.smh.com.au/money/super-and-funds/how-to-slice-up-…

    But have you considered that gifting away money within five years of collecting a pension is a no-no?https://www.humanservices.gov.au/customer/enablers/gifting

    • Brianqpr on 29/06/2017 - 12:22

      AFAIK it doesn't change their position. Centrelink just assumes they still have the asset for 5 years in means testing calculations. If they kept the oney it owul be no different.

      Also, judging by the OP's story, it doesn't seem like government benefits are a concern for these people.

      • twocsies on 29/06/2017 - 12:51

        What you're saying is right, unless it's more than five years before their retirement.

  • [Deactivated] on 29/06/2017 - 01:25
    +1

    Before their pension kicks in it's better to off load cash. Last time I checked the government looks back 7 years but please double,double,double check what I'm saying but might be worth you taking the money and giving it back if you know what I mean.

    • secondstory on 30/06/2017 - 13:25
      +1

      I always have mixed feelings when I hear about about ideas for well-off people to shift money to recieve government benefits.

      It's the good old: I lost my job but centerlink wont pay me dole because of my 300k savings..

  • Toons on 29/06/2017 - 04:08

    if it's a dammed if you do dammed if you don't where they feel insulted by you not taking it. besides the good legal pointers above which is well worth understanding.

    go for a nice meal discuss it and letting them know truthfully, how you feel and that you would rather them spend it on things for themselves or the family if you all get along that

    If saying no is going to cause too much hassle take it, doesn't mean you need to spend it put it in an offset miser account which helps reduce your loan quicker but if you need the money in a hurry for anything and i mean more for something for them you can trickle it off that way.

    Buy them things that they would enjoy surely the acceptance of a gift goes both ways.

  • armdrags on 29/06/2017 - 05:51
    -4

    If you don't need and want the money then accept it and donate everything to charity. It's a win-win for everyone. Now you can make it on your own without feeling guilty.

    • apey2000 on 30/06/2017 - 01:45

      LOL… "charity"!

  • T-man on 29/06/2017 - 06:19
    +3

    If I were you, I would accept the money. However, I don't spend them all instead I'll ask my parents what they need, I'll for them. And, I sometimes buy travel tickets for them. The money will be sitting in my offset account to help reducing interest but it is still my parents money and will pay back to them by one way or other ways.

  • luffyex2010 on 29/06/2017 - 07:36

    Hi Mom and Dad,

    Thank you for the love and support for both of us, our financial independence are important to us and it will be all the more valuable if we were able to achieve it on our own.

    Use the money to take mum for overseas vacation and send us lotsa pictures.

    From your lovely daughters /son/daughter/both/etc

    PS:The fact is the sort of awful truth….their property/belongings will belong to you anyway unless your parents are like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet or Zuckerberg whom will not be passing their wealth to their children (i find that very hard to do so if you are thinking of your generations of your offspring ahead) .

  • Nutrino on 29/06/2017 - 07:40
    +8

    Wow, this is a problem alot of people would like to have.

  • chumlee on 29/06/2017 - 07:46
    +17

    Just give your parents my bank details instead.

  • Gershom on 29/06/2017 - 08:03
    -4

    I don’t want to sound rude or ungrateful

    But ……. you are. Have you no grace at all?

  • 2jzzzz on 29/06/2017 - 09:31

    There's this great foundation that will help some people greatly they could contribute to; www.2jzzzz.com.au.

    • antonthenet on 29/06/2017 - 10:17
      +1

      Site is down? I think it has been Ozbargained!

  • rompastompa on 29/06/2017 - 09:54

    You may need to discuss this in more detail with your parents. You might find that they need to offset some cash to receive a pension from the government.

    So basically they may have to get rid of 50k or 100k to be in the threshold. Now, is it better to waste that money, or put it in your mortgage. It's a good investment from them in 20 years time when you can afford to look after them!

  • causeimbatman on 29/06/2017 - 09:58
    +1

    Take it, pay it forward.

  • affable on 29/06/2017 - 10:00
    +5

    Sounds to me like your sister might have hit your mum & dad up for $ and your parents are just trying to be fair? Have you questioned your sister regarding this matter?

    • thatonethere on 29/06/2017 - 16:58
      +1

      Ive got two unexpected cash gifts from my parents. Both with discrete detective work has indicated that my brother has needed (or considered to need) a cash top up. All good.

      I accept with grace and drop it into the mortgage.

  • skyva on 29/06/2017 - 10:06
    +5

    Another way to think about it is how would you feel if the inheritance went to someone else.

    Having studied succession/wills, things get screwy a lot. Typically, one parent passes, the other ends up lonely and living with someone else, and bingo, their ratbag kids get the lot, usually just as you are trying to work out how to pay for school fees etc.

    Also, as people get older, they can make poor investment decisions.

    Or if you say no, they may give to to someone that wants it, like the Salvo's, rspca etc.

    If it was me I would take the money and invest it wisely, probably in the mortgage. That is the best way to say thank you for their hard work and sacrifice, and to ensure that their grandchildren get the benefit.

    So instead of looking at it from your perspective, perhaps look at it as if you were acting as guardian for your future children's investment.

    I used to think the same way you did: parents sent me to private school, I have a good job and earn good salary. Things go wrong quick. One parent passed from cancer in just over a year, and the other remarried, as they hated being alone. My family has a fair bit of money, compared to some, and I now have two young children on a single income. I know what I would do in your circumstances: take the money, invest it, and use it for your kids benefit.

    If it was a significant sum, i would set it up in trust for children, as if you get married you have 50% chance of divorce, and if you divorce and are male you will likely lose the lot otherwise (yes a generalisation, yes I have studied family law).

    Good luck.

    • rompastompa on 29/06/2017 - 10:11

      What? I have a 50% chance to get divorced?

      You might want to read up on statistics. Here's a link: http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/[email protected]/mf/3310.0

      • skyva on 29/06/2017 - 11:14
        +9

        Oops, how terribly inaccurate of me. According to that page there is a 43% chance of divorce in 2015.

        Of course, based on current trends from data on the page you linked, (marriage rates falling 6.3% and divorces increasing 4.3%), divorce numbers will not be 50% of marriage numbers until, umm, 2017. That is now.

        Happy?

        • rompastompa on 29/06/2017 - 22:43

          I might want to read up on statistics! :D

  • cupcake on 29/06/2017 - 10:11
    +6

    How about you surprise them at Christmas time and fly home to Australia and see them? An aussie Christmas and make more amazing memories.
    Book as much as you can, hot air balloon, high tea, day trips. Just enjoy life!

    You are very blessed to have such wonderful parents. Enjoy them while they are still around.

    It does seem like they have made great investments and you will be inheriting half of it with your sister eventually.
    If your parents want to gift you with 20% off your mortgage, you can't really say no I think.
    Pretend they won the lotto? Say Thank You and call them every day. They would be happy with that - and give them more grandchildren lol

  • bennos on 29/06/2017 - 10:28
    +7

    Unless you have children you won't understand.

    They want to help you, just let them.

    In some ways helping you, helps them feel better about themselves

  • Skramit on 29/06/2017 - 10:35
    +6

    Sounds like this will be to do with the new $1.6M cap on super. Without knowing your parents financials, it's likely that they will be over this cap come July 1, and a gift of money to you would be tax free. Otherwise they have to move any money over the 1.6M cap to a a separate super accumulation account which it sounds like they don't need to do….or want to do, and have probably received financial advice on…. and would like to do you a favour rather than re-jigging their super accounts to meet the new conditions.

    OP you may want to confirm with your dad if this is the reason behind it, and if so it makes a lot of sense for you and them.

  • msimpatient on 29/06/2017 - 10:35
    +5

    If no one wants or needs the money, why not start a family charity with it?

    Or as a family pick several charities to donate to.

    Still tax free and you all get warm n fuzzy.

    • ProjectZero on 29/06/2017 - 10:56
      +1

      This, or you can use the money they give you to book them on a nice vacation. In the end, you want them to be out there spending their money right? Are there any places they want to visit?

    • Dadidalol on 30/06/2017 - 09:15
      +1

      Second this.

      I received an university bursary funded by a donation from a very generous family, which was administered by the university. It made such a remarkable difference to my life.

      Although I never got to thank the family in person, I'll always remember their act of kindness which has enabled me to pursue my dream career. When the time is right I will certainly pay it forward to assist other high achieving students in financial need.

  • baronseng on 29/06/2017 - 11:00
    +2

    What if giving you your inheritance early is an item in their bucket list? Apparently they want to do it to reduce their stress on something.

    I think you should gracefully accept it and give them back in your own way.

  • hashtagbargain on 29/06/2017 - 11:01

    Why don't you accept it into your offset? Why do you think it'll prevent you from making it on your own? If anything it'll help you achieve more.

    I understand that you want to leave a legacy of having made it without further help from your parents. But in this case, since your parents also benefit from you taking the money, you can convince yourself that you're doing them a favour.

    Relationships are always tricky, don't break others' hearts just to stand your ground. It helps to be cooperative :)

    If it is firmly something you do not want, let them know clearly. And also suggest alternatives, like you willing to route it through yourself to your nephews/nieces trust account. There's literally no losing strategy by you taking the money!

  • millhouse on 29/06/2017 - 11:03

    If you're okay with it, and want to stand by your "making it on your own", a compromise would be a loan of the cash where you will return it to them on a specific date (or if they wish, earlier), and in the interim, it reduces your mortgage interest.

    Food for thought, but if you want to stand by your principles it could be a good compromise if your father is set on the idea of giving it to you.

  • scrambledeggs on 29/06/2017 - 11:12
    +2

    I'll take it if you don't want it.

  • pilotg2 on 29/06/2017 - 11:12

    If you really feel your Dad will be genuinely offended and upset, why not think of something you can both do with the money. Buy some shares together and skim the profits for family holidays…

  • Randxyz123 on 29/06/2017 - 11:19

    Can you accept it and buy them a overseas trip? Or accept it but put it into a high interest account ?

  • OzzyOzbourne on 29/06/2017 - 11:20
    +2

    Take it and give it to charity for those who do need it. It'll make both you and your parents much more 'wealthy'.

  • ily on 29/06/2017 - 11:21

    Lower your mortgage and use future wealth for philanthropy and eneloops

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