I’m 33, my parents are in their mid-60s. Both good health although Mum is in remission for cancer. They have both worked hard and made smart investment decisions so live very comfortably but fairly simply. I don't know much about their assets other than that they are diverse and complicated.
My parents agreed with my sister and I that the one time in our lives they would help us out financially was when we bought our first home – they contributed some/most of the deposit. I’ve kept this very quiet amongst friends who grumble about housing affordability. My sister and I have learnt our parents acumen for life and both have good jobs, are paying off our mortgages diligently and live fairly comfortably. We don’t need any inheritance from our parents and it would not change our lives much. I think they should be out there spending their money and enjoying their lives – its their money, no one else’s. I am not sitting around waiting for my payday.
My Dad just contacted me out of the blue saying he is reviewing his finances, legal documentation (he is very diligent with record keeping and having affairs in order) and has realised that my sister and I could use money more than they could so wants to give me a tax free gift towards my mortgage. It would reduce my mortgage by about 20%.
The thing is, I already feel guilty about the deposit gift and the easy ride I’ve had into home ownership. I’m quite proud that I’ve been maintaining the mortgage for years by myself and will never ask them for money whatever happens in the future. I don’t want to feel like I’m forever indebted to them and never really stood on my own two feet because they are always there propping me up. If I had kids I would happily pay for their wedding and provide them with a financial gift towards their first house deposit as a wedding present but I would expect them to make it on their own otherwise and certainly wouldn’t be loaning them money if they ran out of money while on backpacking on holidays etc.
How do I politely turn them down? The true reason is I don’t need their money and don’t want it but I can’t think of a nice way to say it. It’s a really lovely thing to do and I don’t want to sound rude or ungrateful – I want to keep making it on my own.