How Can I Get My Own Money Back That I Lent to a Friend?

luckylast on 21/11/2017 - 10:18
Last edited 21/11/2017 - 10:46 by 1 other user

Hi there,

One of my friend borrowed money from me, and kept tell me that will return me back soon since last month- we's been contacted each other via social media platform, so yesterday trying to call her and just realised that she changed her mobile number without telling me, sent several messages via social media as used to, no response, so what should I do to get my money back. Before she told me she was cheated by her girlfriend, then resulting in financial difficulty, she is VIC, but I am in NSW, please help me, thanks

Financial

Comments

  • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 10:27
    +17

    How much money? Do you know her real name + address? Have you ever seen her in person or only contact via social media?

    Sounds like you've been scammed, friend.

    • luckylast on 21/11/2017 - 10:29
      +1

      she was my housemate before. I know her passport details, roughly 10k…

      • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 10:41
        +181

        Jesus christ, you lent 10k to someone who:

        1. Lives in another city,

        2. You only contact via social media, and

        You did it:

        1. In cash (presumably),

        2. No documents? (presumably), and

        3. No security (presumably).

        Are you a guy? I hope she's pretty at least…

        Well you have a few options:

        A. If you know where she lives: Bikies.

        B. If you know where she lives AND she has assets: Lawyer.

        But honestly, be prepared to not see the money ever again.

        • ESEMCE on 21/11/2017 - 11:17
          +66

          Brutal, but it's what everyone is thinking.

        • anonymous01 on 22/11/2017 - 14:43
          +43

          I hope she was pretty, because he just got f***ed by her.

        • D6C1 on 22/11/2017 - 23:25

          @anonymous01:

          Nah..

          Before she told me she was cheated by her girlfriend

          So he got f***ed painfully and not in a pleasurable way mate.

        • hetzjagd on 23/11/2017 - 00:04
          +6

          Jeeze this place likes to beat the death out of the same two or three memes.

          or if you're at all serious, bikies are not some listing in the yellow pages that take on standover work for civilians against civilians.

        • anonymous01 on 23/11/2017 - 12:46
          -5

          @hetzjagd: You seem to have had a sour experience with a bikie in the past. Here, this might help https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/179451

        • airzone on 23/11/2017 - 14:47

          @hetzjagd: Nah, OP's friend just needed to make a high yielding investment. With OP's money.

        • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:30

          Impressed. you covered all the bases in a wells summarised way

          Upvotes well deserved

        • jpee on 24/11/2017 - 20:25

          I just came for the Bikie comments

        • [Deactivated] on 25/11/2017 - 00:45

          That bikies line is so funny i just keep laughing and laughing.
          I mean, the creativity involved is massive.

          Such a sore tummy from laughing at your funny joke about bikies.

      • GetOffMyUnicorn on 22/11/2017 - 19:02
        +10

        Maybe change your username to unluckylast.

        • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:41
          +6

          "friendzoned"

      • Save Medicare on 22/11/2017 - 23:13
        +12

        hey bro it's me your former housemate

        • zqipz on 23/11/2017 - 13:51
          +3

          Would you like to go bowling?

        • TheOneWhoGotAway on 23/11/2017 - 17:01

          hey it's me your brother, can I see that 10k?

      • cameldownunder on 23/11/2017 - 10:23
        +15

        Grandma's rules:
        Do not start a company with your friend
        Do not lend money to a friend, give it to him/her if you can spare some, and don't expect it back.
        Fill a beer glass, to the top, with only 2 finder wide foam
        Organize your own grave and payment
        Don't have sex with your ex

        • rompastompa on 23/11/2017 - 10:56
          +1

          I sounds like I'm your grandma.

        • Baysew on 23/11/2017 - 12:55
          +1

          Do not start a company with your friend

          Better tell Granny about Steve Wozniak & Steve Jobs and Bill Gates & Paul Allen.

        • cameldownunder on 23/11/2017 - 13:13
          +3

          @Baysew: I don't think Steve and Steve were friends after.
          She saw it from a friendship perspective, sooner or later, if the company is a success, one or the other gets screwed over.

  • Munnday on 21/11/2017 - 10:29
    +14

    bikies

    • The Wololo Wombat on 21/11/2017 - 10:58
      +17

      Wait. Are people actually serious about bikies? I always thought that was a joke, but it seems like a legit option here!

      • myusername on 21/11/2017 - 11:06
        +6

        i've done it on real life, sometimes it's the only option.

        • aussieprepper on 21/11/2017 - 12:40

          Issue is if you are to soft to do the dirty work your self good luck if they come after you! Your hired goons wont be there to protect you champ!

        • myusername on 21/11/2017 - 12:42
          -1

          @aussieprepper: to soft? rolf if you ever met me you wouldn't say that haha.

          sometime 15 gentle men parking their motor bikes on your front lawn has a better effect than me knocking on your door with a baseball bat hahaha

        • darxtorm on 22/11/2017 - 15:57
          +10

          @myusername: fight me irl

        • centrelink on 22/11/2017 - 17:06

          The old vietnamese gangs in melbourne used to charge 8k to cut off a finger

        • myusername on 22/11/2017 - 17:58
          +3

          @centrelink: my mate would do it for a stick ;-)

        • marquise on 23/11/2017 - 14:19
          +4

          @myusername: This seems more effective than 15 gentle nerds parking their RC vehicles on the lawn

        • myusername on 23/11/2017 - 14:45
          +1

          @marquise: bahahaha gold mate!!

        • Sxio on 23/11/2017 - 15:07

          @myusername:

          Wow. Tough guy on the internet. Never met one of you before.

          So how tough are ya?

        • Sxio on 23/11/2017 - 15:10
          -3

          @myusername:

          Wow. Tough guy on the internet. Never met one of you before.

          So how tough are ya?

        • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:46

          @Sxio:

          tough guys don't ask for bikies help

      • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:45

        yes if you are serious… and willing to 'owe' the bikies

      • trongy on 24/11/2017 - 23:26
        +1

        I don't think that paying someone to commit a crime for you can be described as legitimate.

    • [Deactivated] on 21/11/2017 - 13:14
      +2

      they'll only take a portion of the 10K as comission

    • [Deactivated] on 25/11/2017 - 00:46

      Another bikies joke!
      Such a sore tummy from laughing at your funny joke about bikies.

  • luckylast on 21/11/2017 - 10:31
    +8

    i think i am too nice, when people need help from me, if in my ability and i am always willing to help, but some people just want to take advantage of it,…

    • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 10:41
      +67

      You can be nice and still be prudent and protect yourself while doing so. Don't blame "being nice", blame "not taking precautions".

      • fossilfuel on 21/11/2017 - 10:53
        +7

        This. Only lend the amount you're willing to lose. Without written documentation, it'll be hard to recover that money.

      • centrelink on 22/11/2017 - 17:06
        -2

        nah ope is right.. nice people always finish last.

        • Kangal on 22/11/2017 - 23:09
          +6

          Centrelink! You of all people should not be saying that!

    • The Wololo Wombat on 21/11/2017 - 10:59
      +18

      Hey I could use 10k too :) Want to help me out?

      lol jks. Maybe this is a lesson learned on not letting yourself be used by people!

    • myusername on 21/11/2017 - 11:05
      -7

      she must of been hot

      • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 11:09
        +53

        *Must've

        Short for "must have" - i.e. "She must have been hot."

    • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 11:07
      +24

      I just want to add to my previous comment, because reading it I seem to come off a little harsh.

      It's good to want to help others, and it's good to be a nice person. My point is really that don't let this experience, for OP or others, sour you to the concept of being nice. But be nice prudently. In this case, for example, instead of lending $10k to someone, you can instead:

      1. Not lend them money but directly help them pay certain bills (phone bills, down payment for new place they're renting, etc) - they'll be gifts so you won't get it back, but you also won't be immediately out 10k either.

      2. Help them apply for assistance, find cheaper mobile plans, welfare, etc: give time and expertise, not money.

      • stratbargain on 21/11/2017 - 11:15
        +8

        I don't think you were harsh at all.

        Too many people hide behind "I'm a nice guy" or "I'm too nice"

        There is a big difference between being nice, and allowing yourself to get walked all over.

      • luckylast on 21/11/2017 - 11:19

        i helped by paying bills, e.g solicitor fees etc. 10k is not in one transactions, it's in several occassions ant then end of totally amount 10k, it's a lession i learned i have to say, but is there anyway i can get money back?

        • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 11:27
          +8

          Wait wait, I know solicitors can be expensive, and bills too I guess, but over how long a time period are we talking about? Because even at exorbitant rates, it'll take a while to rack up 10k.

          And in that period of time, if she didn't/couldn't repay you - what made you think she'd be able to repay you later? Again - not really blaming you as much as trying to understand the thought-process here.

          To answer your question - the very least you would need is an address. Without that, you can't even sue her with any real hope (and forget about recovering - if she has no money, she won't be able to repay even if you win).

        • cameldownunder on 23/11/2017 - 10:25

          Ask her. Suggest monthly payment of $50, or 200$ each Christmas.

      • darxtorm on 22/11/2017 - 15:58

        excellent tips

      • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:49

        I unfortunately got caught up in 'helping' a friend… didnt realsie to it till was too late the escalation… devious smart people start of small… no big deal… but slowly esculate… till one day you've realised you've helped/loaned off multiple Ks

    • Beanvee on 21/11/2017 - 13:20
      +7

      You can be nice without being spineless

    • inittobinit on 22/11/2017 - 16:28
      +1

      There is a fine line between being nice and being stupid.

    • hedonistic on 24/11/2017 - 15:51

      theres a big difference between being nice and being stupid. learn from this and take the appropriate precautions before "helping" someone in the future. this is going to sound harsh but you need to hear this, people will take advantage of you without giving a second thought. you need to look out for yourself more than you need to look out for others.

    • SydStrand on 24/11/2017 - 19:27

      There’s a difference between being nice and a pushover.

  • dealymcdealerson on 21/11/2017 - 10:52
    +9

    Either trolling or this is a 10k lesson to be smarter with your money.

    • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 10:54
      +4

      I've seen this happen with people I know in real life too many times to immediately think of trolling unfortunately. And most of the time it's not people with 10k to burn either, it's usually 10k what's a big bulk of their savings.

      • dealymcdealerson on 21/11/2017 - 10:56
        +2

        True, 10k is a very tough way to learn but i guess many people do have to learn the hard way. Lending money to friends can very often turn ugly.

  • JetLi on 21/11/2017 - 11:00
    +11

    Kiss it goodbye, she doesn't have any intentions to repay, easier just to move on.

    • smashed on 21/11/2017 - 12:52
      +25

      So, people on this site jump at saving 50c on a cheap item.
      This dude has been screwed out of 10K and you are saying it is "easier just to move on".

      Reclaim your money, even if it goes through the court and she has to pay $100 a month for 10 years.

      • JetLi on 21/11/2017 - 12:56
        +8

        on what grounds? There's probably no documentation of the so called "loan" taking place, you'll rack up more in legal fees pursuing this.

        • smashed on 21/11/2017 - 12:58

          Small court fee in the UK is very cheap if you are willing to do it yourself.
          If not, you can still do other things to find the lady and try to leverage your money back.

          Just giving up would not be an option for me. Given that the OP has posted on here instead of giving up then I would suggest that your advice is not top of the list either to be honest.

        • JetLi on 21/11/2017 - 13:08
          +5

          @smashed: Given no written contract in place, I presume any small court will ask you to speak to a lawyer, with the cost of lawyers and the uncertain outcome, might as well save your time and not bother. The odds are stacked heavily against him to recover the money, might as well not waste anymore time and money on a potentially lost cause, however I praise your passion and vigor in respect of this.

        • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 13:18
          +2

          @smashed:

          Considered it, but the woman is in a different state. So unless OP wants to take a lot of time off (costing him pay), flights (more money) and accommodation (even more money), small claims won't be much cheaper than retaining a lawyer in the other state.

          AND - even if OP did, and even won, and that's if he can track down the woman, if the woman has no money, OP won't see a cent of it. No debtor's prison, and it's a normal debt that's dischargable in bankruptcy.

        • smashed on 21/11/2017 - 13:20

          @0blivion:

          Thanks.

          As I put in my own comments further down, at the very least I would be naming and shaming (this would at least stop her from doing it again in the near future).

      • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 13:16

        Not easier - cheaper. Which is the point of this forum.

        There's a lot of cases, and this likely being one of them, where there's no realistic chance of recovering anything no matter how much you spend. OP would be wasting money trying to recover.

        • smashed on 21/11/2017 - 13:19

          Ok aside from the legal avenue (I have no idea on legal recourse in AUS), there are still methods to try and reclaim e.g. I would be recovering money from my friends without taking them to court :)

        • BartholemewH on 23/11/2017 - 09:54

          @smashed:
          Theft? Extortion? Anything that won't land the OP in far more hot water than the woman that borrowed the money?

      • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:50

        Because people have been burnt by it, and know its not worth the stress to get it back.

        Even if you go the legal route and ruled in your favour, doesnt mean they'll still cough up.

        If the court could garnish payment yes, but they don't

  • currentfad on 21/11/2017 - 11:03
    +11

    Hey it's me your friend

  • myusername on 21/11/2017 - 11:05
    +12

    10k wow?

    can i be your friend please?

  • myusername on 21/11/2017 - 11:17
    +18

    she changed her mobile number?

    did you just pay for her new iphone also?

  • luckylast on 21/11/2017 - 11:22
    +2

    i just need some honest opinions, but some people above just think it sounds funny, so there is no need for this discussion, please remove it..

    • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 11:33
      +6

      Gotta see the silver lining in things friend, even if it's just laughing at our own misfortunes sometimes. I honestly think you're never going to see a cent of it back, but if you really want to go all out, then in all seriousness you'll need to spend a lot of money on private investigators (to track down her address and any possible assets of hers), and on lawyers (or on plane tickets to where she is if you want to do it yourself). Personally, those costs will quickly add up to a big chunk of the 10k you're trying to get back and again, you're likely throwing good money after bad.

      Or bikies.

    • hooyn on 21/11/2017 - 12:14
      +14

      If you have her socials than track down her relatives/friends/parents and advise them of the situation.

    • dasher86 on 21/11/2017 - 12:52

      OP you can report this thread to be taken down by the mods.

    • Beanvee on 21/11/2017 - 13:22
      +1

      Small claims court is the only viable option I see for you

      • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:54

        Unless they garnish payments doesn t mean you'll get it

    • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:53

      We've help you get over it, getting money from "friends" like this is not worth the stress

      When people say bikies, it means you'll struggle to get it back

  • CyberMurning on 21/11/2017 - 11:23

    you can get money back but you will loose a friend.

    • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 11:33
      +41

      Pretty sure that person is already not a friend.

  • CyberMurning on 21/11/2017 - 11:24
    +2

    offer her "other ways" to return the money….

    CyberMurning on 21/11/2017 - 11:24 (Collapsed - Offtopic. Show)
    • currentfad on 21/11/2017 - 11:43
      +2

      I've seen this plot before 🤔

      • CyberMurning on 21/11/2017 - 12:11

        you watch movies too much…

        • Oz8argain on 21/11/2017 - 14:15
          +6

          i always skip the start though

    • JetLi on 21/11/2017 - 12:02
      -1

      What if she is fugly?

      • CyberMurning on 21/11/2017 - 12:07

        i bet $5 she is not. at least average.
        average will do just fine just close your eyes.

      • kolorijo on 23/11/2017 - 08:58

        VR goggle it

  • dingdong3000 on 21/11/2017 - 11:29
    +2

    If she is not your best friend then no way in hell will you see that money back.

    I will never splash out more than $50 to a friend. Things normally turn ugly when dealing money with friends..

    • CyberMurning on 21/11/2017 - 12:09
      +8

      "Things normally turn ugly when dealing money with friends.."

      and with family as well.
      and business partners.
      and relatives.
      and gf/bf.

      funny is, its fine dealing money with bikies and gangsters.

      • HighAndDry on 21/11/2017 - 12:14
        +1

        I'm not actually sure if that's the case, but it makes sense: The first ones all know that apart from you being pissed, nothing else is really going to happen most of the time. The latter KNOW that real consequences exist.

    • outlander on 22/11/2017 - 17:23
      +1

      I will never splash out more than $50 to a friend. Things normally turn ugly when dealing money with friends..

      Then you don't have any friends. You have drinking buddies

      • Baghern on 23/11/2017 - 15:56
        +1

        THe problem is, the charismatic 'best friend' is usually the dodgy one

    • BartholemewH on 23/11/2017 - 10:01
      +2

      I have friends that I would lend 10k cash right now if they needed it. Give me a pen, paper and an independent third party to witness it. What OP has is not a good friend, it's a casual acquaintance, if even that. 'Housemate' for example implies renting, where are their assets and how was it proposed the money would be paid back?

Login or Join to leave a comment
Login Join