My grandson is about to turn 21 and I need help/ideas for a present. He doesn't have a job, a car or a drivers licence. He's only interest seems to be gaming. He is kind and helpful when asked and has great parents and siblings. I'm looking for genuine sensible ideas - no smart arse replies please..Thanks in advance.
21st Birthday Present for a Male
Jassy45 on 28/04/2018 - 07:25
Last edited 28/04/2018 - 07:26
Last edited 28/04/2018 - 07:26
Comments
Yo grandma, chuck us some more singles hey.
Buy him something that will assist him to get a job?
Whether it be a personal development course including grooming and self confidence areas, maybe some life skills courses inc survival away from home such as cooking on a budget etc
Really at 21 even with massive unemployment in some areas he should be out there trying hard, it will help with depression sense of worth and the need to be a contributing member of society21 is NOT too late for apprenticeships, yeah the money is low for ages but tradies earn in the end ?
Hope the family get together and give something that will further his development rather than the "toy" type gift
The gift should be that he has to start paying board
Your 21st birthday is not a time for tough love. Especially from a grand parent. Just love.
Well the grandparent doesn't have to have them living in their house eating their food without contributing anything so fair enough.
If they love their grandchild they should take steps to help him though even if the parents won't.
Not on his birthday. Kid has just dropped out of uni. That'd be difficult for anyone. We don't know if he's actively looking for work or not. It's damn tough out there. Let the kid have his birthday and then apply the "tough love" later if you think it will do any good. Just make sure you don't push the kid off a cliff.
I agree. Parents job is to be tough and grandparents job is to do whatever. Our kids a spoilt somewhat but I cannot do much about it. Have had the chat with my parents but I guess it is their chance to give them what they didn't have the money to give us.
Definitely.. I've given up trying to get my parents to do what we ask with my kids.
Dinner before dessert? Crazy! Just dessert.. No dinner when they are looking after him..
Oh he has a 7pm bedtime? Why is he still up at 10pm eating marshmallows?
Trying really hard to get a job when there isn't any is soul crushing. It won't help with depression sense of worth and the need to be a contributing member of society. This is bad advice
There's always a job around, you just have to work a lot harder to find it sometimes.
A healthy young male without dependents shouldn't have any major struggles getting a job - the tricky bit is finding a job you actually like!
You can't get a good job without doing a crappy job first, and no one will hire you for a crappy job if you are too old and/or educated, so he is creating his own future unemployment woes by not working now.
tools to get a job?
A car helps
How about a nice bottle of red to put away for a few years. Maybe something they can drink when they buy their first house?
Or a nice bottle of scotch?
Or a nice watch? If you and some of the extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles etc) put in $200-300 each then you could get him a nice watch. Something he'll have for the rest of his life.
TO people saying he should get a job, we don't know anything about this kid except that he is 21 and likes gaming. Everyone has assumed he is some kid who spends all day in his room playing video games and eating junk food. He could be earning money on twitch or youtube. For all you know he finished uni last year, and hasn't gotten a job yet.
If the OP wants to make a new post about how to encourage their grandson to do something other than sit on his arse and play games then they should.
Everyone has assumed
Pot
Kettle
Black
He's probably a little autistic, and has trouble dealing with people in the real world. Just like I assume a lot of people here to be
Honestly as a 29 year old who still sometimes thinks or wishes he was 21 probably a really nice arm chair or girlfriend haha lol.. have at me lol.
Seriously.. domino's gift certificates or vouchers.. at least you know he can eat
Lol though at 21 he might not like the idea of a grandparent to try hooking him up.
I mean the grandson doesn't have to know it was from the grandparent. There are ways.
Give him a lesson in life. Slap him around a bit and tell him to get a job, drivers license and car. Tell him you'll give him money towards a car when he stops being a loser. He'll thank you later. 21 is far too old to be a mooch.
Settle down mate
True though.
That would be a good lesson. 21, no job, no car, playing video games. Unless he's studying then there's no excuse for that.
There's no excuse even if he is studying.
Bullshit. I wouldn't expect my son to work while studying full-time, studying is stressful enough as it is. I don't mean that I would throw money at him, if he wants to spend money he'll have to earn it first on his own, but basic living expenses, we will have already been paying for those for almost 20 years by then anyway so what difference does it make? Also, if he lives in a city a car isn't that much of a necessity and going into the future will become increasingly less so, though atleast the license would be nice, and gaming isn't an issue either, it doesn't sound like he's doing it excessively, a couple hours a night is more than okay.
@Jassy45: A present is not your primary concern. His parents have done a crappy job, now it’s time for you to step in and make a man out of him, or watch him waste away. It clearly disturbs you or you wouldn’t have made a post about it. Teach a man to fish as they say.
To the people downvoting Adonael, this is why people from other countries kick our ass academically speaking. No value for study. A student here is considered a freakin' layabout, and the pursuit of knowledge is considered a waste of time. So far from "The Clever Country" slogan that politicians bandied about in the '80s.
So you're suggesting an ass kickin' for his birthday. Nice. You expect that to work, or just make you feel better about yourself?
Hint: Making someone feel like shit about themselves on their 21st birthday isn't going to build the kind of morale you need in a job interview.
Hint 2: He's just dropped out of study, has no car, no doubt no girlfriend. People top themselves over less. (Hopefully this does not apply at all here). 2 hours a night gaming isn't going to make him unemployable and may very well be just the escapist release he needs.
Hint 3: The job market is bloody tough. Everyone is trying to cut costs. The jobless figures don't tell the whole story. A lot of employment is now casual, part time and/or short term. When you were young and looking for a job did every 3rd guy applying for the same job have a goddamn masters degree? Because I've been in a position to see post docs applying for entry level work.
@Adonael: coddling kids isn't the way to help them succeed. If they've never had to work a day on their life they're going to struggle getting a job out of uni and if they don't know how to look after themselves they're not going to find roommates who will put up with them. Sheltering is not the solution. And uni marks don't matter after your first job, so costing them all those learning opportunities for the sake of turning distinctions into high distinctions is a dear price to pay
he dropped out of uni and he lives in small place with crappy public transport
He probably dropped out of uni because living at home for free playing games all day is a lot more fun than studying. Seriously where are the parents in this?
@Jassy45: I wasn't talking about him specifically, I understand he's not studying, I was just replying to that comment which I don't agree with.
@Quantumcat: What I'm talking about certainly isn't coddling. I see no reason why they wouldn't learn those skills at home, as I did before moving out at 18 and never had an issue since regarding living with others. It's not grades I would be worried about either, it's stress, moving out, getting your first job and studying a degree are all hugely stressful things on their own, why would you force it all to happen at once? What difference is a year or two going to make to any one of those things? None, but by staggering them and letting him choose to take them on one at a time, reap the benefits. What you call coddling, I call intelligent parenting, teaching your children the skills they need before they leave your home, organising your life to avoid feeling overwhelmed is already a skill on it's own and exactly what they would be learning. How is neglecting to teach them anything, then pushing them into the deep end and blaming them if they flounder being in any way a responsible parent? I really hope you don't have children, and if you do, you can't assume others are as terrible and short-sighted at it as you. It's funny that you say 'where are the parents in this?', and yet what you would do is not be there.
Depends on the degree. I am doing one in science. I have 2x 4 hour labs per week, rotate per unit fortnightly. Then I have 4x2-3 hour lectures (depends on the unit) per week. For the labs, I have 1-2 hours prep work to do at home before hand, then 1-2 hours after the lab is done as post work (analysis of results, lab report etc-per unit). Add into that 1-2 hours of travel a day, then 5 hours at home study per subject (outside of class time)…
Not making excuses for the person in OP's scenario, but you should be considerate into how much time some harder degrees take up.
@Adonael: you don't learn unless you are forced off the deep end. If there's always someone there to clean up your mess you won't learn to not make it on the first place. I know this from personal experience. I was pushed off the deep end twice, once on a year exchange to France and the other moving out to uni. In the former it was very traumatic but I went from shy awkward teenager to outgoing confident teenager. In the latter it was hard to start with but became very fun very quickly and I matured very fast. We would laugh at the dweebs living with their parents still, who had nothing interesting to talk about and said stupid things like complaining about their little brother or their mum making them go to some family function. Then later in one of my sharehouses we had to kick out two people one after the other who had just moved out of home because of various things like never buying toilet paper or dish soap or eating someone else's pasta or inviting friends to stay without asking first. The sort of things they would have learned by then if they had been living in sharehouses at a normal age (you'd forgive a 19 or 20 year old for not knowing for example) instead of moving out age 25. And the sort of things you can't learn by living with your parents.
You can teach them plenty of things while they live with you, but some things you just can't teach them, and they can only learn by experiencing, plus they learn better when younger. If you don't want them to have to work too much, you can give them a supplement. If they don't work at all, it will be difficult or impossible for them to get a job when they finish uni. Now how helpful is that, for their development? It actually hurts them.
@Burnertoasty: he doesn't have crappy parents his older brother and younger sister are doing great. His parents have tried everything to get him motivated to get a job or training. They drive to interviews etc. Even they are having trouble decideding on a gift. They have asked their son numerous times for ideas for what he'd like as a gift but he says he has no idea. H seems to have no motivation at all.
This hurts my heart :c
If he has friends you can get gift vouchers for outdoors activities that might align with his interests (like archery, paintball, go-karting, movies, etc) though for a 21st you might want to get him something to keep. It would be nice if he has supportive from a group of friends (probably also gamers).
As a gamer, gift cards for a tech store would also be nice (since you can get non gaming related things too). Or a nice gaming chair if he doesn't have one already.
This might seem odd but a nice ornamental crystal of sorts would work too. He might collect figurines and things and have a little display shelf for them already.
Too much truth there… not wanted.
After we slap him around a bit - can we tea bag him?
Gamers don't need much to be happy so he probably has all he wants, maybe get him a bulk amount of his favourite snacks, a Steam gift card, or a prostate massager. I know a couple of people have suggested a watch, but I guarantee you he won't wear it and it'll end up in a drawer until he rediscovers it a decade later, assuming he doesn't wear glasses, a nice pair of sunglasses could be something in that vein he would appreciate.
Hadn't heard of steam gift cards but I've checked it out and it looks good. Not sure whether his parents want to encourage his gaming habit tho. He's online playing quite a lot. Thanks for th idea tho.
As an unemployed almost 24 year old who can't drive, you are best not to encourage his gaming habit with a gift card for more video games.
Sitting at home playing video games to excess is absolutely one of my regrets.
Now that I'm looking for work, I realise many jobs require a driver's licence.
As a gamer myself, don't get him steam gift cards. Most games can be bought cheaper than steam on cdkey sites, and if you're poor, most games can also just be pirated. Finally, lots of gamers play just a few games, and won't go around collecting new games.
Let him work for his entertainment. Get him something that helps him to advance himself in life. Eg licence.
Most games can be bought cheaper than steam on cdkey sites
Come on mate. Nobody buys steam games at full price. Even if this wasn't OzBargain, what kind of moron buys steam games at less than 50% off?
A steam gift card is good value if he buys the same time everyone does, during the big sales.
No evidence kid is on ozbargain, or savvy with purchases - but he should be. And cdkey are cheaper than most steam sales.
Obviously people buy full price games, don't be absurd. I don't agree with the practice, but of course it happens.
Sorry for my ignorance but…..prostate massager? Are you talking about hookers?
For $300 you could buy him a cool vintage bike.
Bicycle is a great idea - solves the transport issue without the need for a driver's license - and adds a fitness activity.
How into gaming is he? There's a 3 day convention for video and board games, it's in Melbourne so if you're interstate you could throw in a flight
http://aus.paxsite.com/Rack
thanks grandma!
Definitely a classic watch… that's what I was given and I have worn it everyday for over 10 years. It is a timeless gift ;) They had it engraved as well for added importance/symbolism.
If there is nothing he needs now maybe you could buy him some shares. It could start him on his way to invest and be more financially responsible. Something like Telstra would give him dividends twice annually and would also be tax free if he's not working and has no other income.
Or get him to do some research and pick a share (since he likes sitting in front of the computer), but get someone with experience to advise him too. Others might suggest index funds and he could watch the value grow over time.
jbhifi gift card?
0.025 Bitcoin
Get him a weeks trial with a local trade. Sound harsh? My original suggestion was going to be a kick up the arse (also free).
EDIT: Or a watch, if he is studying for his masters and gaming in his down time.
Youth is wasted on the young for sure.
a surprise to be sure
As you have said the public transport is bad in your area. Do not buy any materialistic gift at this stage as he really needs drivers licence at this age. That’s the best gift you can give him. Book the L’s test, find a local trainer and book a couple of lessons to start with. After a certain age he can’t rely on you or someone to drive him around. Once he registers his first car under his name and has to pay for fuel and registration he will most likely get a part time job.
Cash, and a list of suggestions on what you think he might use it for (but let him know it's his to use as he pleases).
Screw gift cards. Unsecured credit and something he may not want. And screw wasting money on junk he may not want or appreciate.
Edit: Some stuff to add to your list:
- Membership to a club.
- Books you think he might read that meant something to you.
- Clothing if his clothes are looking shabby.
- Decent pair of sunglasses or prescription sunglasses if he wears glasses.
- A few days away somewhere. He could go fishing or just chill.
- Hire a boat for the day. A lot of places in NSW hire boats with smaller engines and you don't need a license.
- An hour on an immersive flight sim.
- Joyflight or hot lap in a race car.
- A new suit for job interviews.
- Nice pair of headphones.I'd avoid gaming suggestions, as much because you don't know what he needs or wants better than he does as to encourage him to stay broad.
books, absolutely
Self help books.If you think self help books help anyone but the author, your education was wasted.
And modding that down is abysmal.
More down votes. What a bunch of wallies. Go get ripped off by Tony Bobbins. Cretins.
Martial arts classes, maybe.
Instill some confidence, discipline, exercise, practical skills and socialisation. Plus he can level up.
Sign him up as <first name> Raiden.
Cash is good… Vouchers often just don't get you the best deals anymore. Give him a nice sentimental card as well.
these suggestions are ridiculous. money (that he can't spend immediately!) and a personal card that he'll keep forever
Send him skydiving
Getting kicked out the front door would be the dry run b4 being kicked out the door at 12,000 feet
A nice leather wallet
Consult with his siblings as to what gamer stuff he would love to have. They would probably be most aware of his gaming needs/wants.
The xbox one X is the latest console, but then maybe he is a 'Playstation person/gamer' and dislikes anything xbox. Or maybe he is a 'PC-personal computer gamer' , PC gaming is more powerful than the latest xbox one x. The xbox one x is about $600 , so would need some others to potentially throw in some extra $$ . But the xbox one x, for some gamers, would be a terrible gift, so definitely get something to do with gaming, definitely consult with family close to age first (cousins, brothers, sisters) as his parents may not really know what gaming stuff he wants/needs, but someone of his generation, and that knows him well, would likely give the best suggestion for what he would absolutely love to receive as a gift. Since he doesn't have a job, it means a $300 or more gift is a really big deal for him, likely something he cannot afford to buy for himself.
If he is one that likes to chat on headset yelling with excitement to other players online, then maybe a new flash headset (headphones with microphone inside) would be about $100-$300, but again, this depends on what sort of a gamer he is, and what he already has. For example I had a $200 gaming headset and had an idea I would try it out for the fun of it, but I never used it once and then sold it… But to someone else, that same headset would have been used straight away, and then every day since, utilized and enjoyed.
Could get him driving lessons or something else 'productive' …. but honestly, if you want to get him something he really wants and is thankful and grateful for get him something gaming, since he is a gamer… unless there is other things that you become aware of upon investigating further with family who know him very well, and in his age group, and to a lesser extent, his parents and what they think he would want.
Btw. Hope he has a wonderful birthday.Does he drink? Buy him a few bottles of wine. Doesn't have to be expensive, something around $20/bottle will do. Write 'Happy 21st!' on the labels and encourage him to keep the bottles stored for a future special occasion. Maybe a 30th or 40th. Whenever I had a special occasion I would buy a $30 bottle of wine and stash it away. Pay rise, buying a new car, buying a house, I have them all. Recently drank an 11 year old bottle after selling the car that I had bought new. Nice.
Not to talk about your future, be it many years away hopefully.
Buy him a nice necklace. $300 would get a nice chain not too small or big.
My Oma bought me one when I was 18, she passed away when I was 27, now 36 and still have the necklace on every single day. It’s a great memory. I’m a bloke so it’s not like I have a jewellery box full of them to swap over. Just the one!
You can pre-pay a half dozen driving lessons and the test all inclusive for around your $300.
It'll be the gift of independence and self-sufficiency not something that will be broken, lost or forgotten in a year or two.
Then some 3rd party accident cover when he gets a car.
You'll be the (smart) cool grandma!Ask him to get a part time or casual job before his birthday and tell him you will give him the same amount of money he earns to his birthday as birthday present. You will be surprised how many undergraduates work part time or casual for work experiences and pocket money even their families are quite wealthy. Make his 21 birthday a good wakeup call.
Show him the DOOR, unless you want him hanging around "burning YOUR electricity" forever.
Possibly that trip into reality, might just motivate him… Just saying.
When my youngest turned 21, his priorities were the same. Now that he's 25… nothing has changed.Gift voucher for coursera or edx courses + bill paying for future driving lessons.
Stripper
While it's totally OK to be a gamer, he could be a very creative type gamer. At 21 it's an age to be socialable and he should be getting out and socialising with people. He may not have a car now but it's vital to at least have a licence. One day he would be interested in a girl (assumed) and without being socialable or able to drive then he will be back to the PS4 playing the games his grandma bought for his 21st.
Get him a gift to set him up to be sociable, that is the first steps toward getting a hired for a job.
A pair of nice dress shoes, a nice casual shirt (not business shirt), or a voucher at MYER or Politix, something along those ideas.
He doesn't have much going for him at the moment (sorry to be harsh), and not studying, so at least dress to impress if that isn't already on his agenda.Maybe combine the watch idea with a get out of the house undertone by getting a smart watch/ fitness tracker. If you can get him wearing it for the smart watch functionality maybe the fitness tracker functionality will obnoxiously show him how sedentary his lifestyle is while providing him with goals. Gamers love a challenge if presented to them in the right way ;)
Depending if you want to get an item that is memorable or a quick item that will be thrown away within 3 years.
For gamers, prob look at the gaming chairs like DX-RACER, and many others around.
Personally i was in the same situation a while back, and the money i received i put towards driving lessons, to this day i always remember who helped me with that.
But also you can look at a gold chain that he might wear.
books on how to be financially knowledgeable. life tips. general advice. maybe a sit down and chat of all the things you learned in life the hard way that you wish someone might have told you when you were his age.
or porn. males like porn. if not, be concerned.
Ahhthe good ol days of no job and playing games everyday, i miss it. Depends if you want to condone his gaming or to give him a kick in the bum and get his life together. But for the former, a ps4 slim if they are on sale
uugghh I'm afraid I might get negged. But assuming he is a gamer, how is he in the ladies department?
If he is the level of typical neckbeard, maybe bring him a nice "girl"? it would be valuable life lesson.
Why are you assuming ladies? And what do you mean by 'bring him a nice girl', how on Earth would it be any kind of lesson beyond teaching him to objectify women and an unhealthy view of sex? You're messed up in the head, there are tens of thousands of men traumatised for life in places like Brazil who were forced to 'lose it' to a prostitute as a 'rite of passage' by their parents, sometimes as young as 13 and crying while it happens, it's not right. Unless you're trying to teach him how dark life can really be so maybe studying and working isn't so bad by comparison?
13 yr old male, cries during sex. never happened. in the history of mankind. no sir. you are mistaken.
I laughed out loud at this actually. I wish my dad took me to brothel when I was 16.
How would you have felt if all the hookers knew your dad by 1st name basis?
Do not buy him anything video game related,do not give him cash.
He needs a gentle push towards getting a job, driving lessons are a good idea.Maybe give him a 12 month 24/7 gym membership, gamers get pretty nocturnal and staying active is important.
21 small gifts, good fun opening 21 small gifts
A few indie game titles, novelty stuff for desk like a sand timer, idk good luck have fun ggI would recommend a Casio G Shock watch. Preferably a model with 5-10 years of battery. An annual membership of xbox gold Live or PlayStation plus whichever platform he is playing. It is better to purchase it through ozgameshop or some other websites where it is considerably cheaper. Add a gift card to it and so he can purchase the games on a discounted price. A gaming phone will cost around $600 to start with but an Nvidia Shield tablet should cost within your budget
is your grandson planning on looking for work? if so, maybe a half decent suit for job interviews? (doesn't have to be too expensive or branded, he is still 21 afterall)
maybe try and get something that might spark some interest in a path to a job or a business??
you are probably best to ask his parents/siblings to get a gauge of what peaks his interest.. but 2 things i can think ofraspberry pi kit (if he has any interest in technical stuff/assembly.. and it can be handy to use as a enetertainmet system and or android development
(this link has expired.. but this a ozbargain link (keepin it ozbargain cheap)
https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/366637
or if he is a more artistic creative type/or game designer
wacom tablet (depending on if he has a pc and software to run it)..
https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/374833
and then to look great.. and in true ozbargain fashion.
enrol into a udemy course about digital painting (get the free course now.. and give him the link when it goes back up to $200)
https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/374130
just trying to think of a present that will try and teach him something and broaden his skillset
Excellent advice.
My grandson is about to turn 21 and I need help/ideas for a present. He doesn't have a job, a car or a drivers licence. He's only interest seems to be gaming.
21 is when boys are SUPPOSED to turn into men. Do NOT help him continue is path to the inevitable 'parent's basement inhabiting neckbeard gamer' lifestyle which his anxiety has conditioned him for.
As a Grand mother, you're unfortunately ill-equipped to help him in this journey to manhood (that should be where his father SHOULD be helping, obviously not), but please, for his own heath don't contribute to his social anxiety.
I think, as jack-gibson has said above, a classic watch is an excellent gift. Every man should have a good watch, but there's a good chance he won't like it because it's not gaming related…
…although, once/if he grows up, he will think it was the best gift he has ever received.
No smart arse replies?? This is the internet not your lounge room. You don't have a choice.
I reckon take him out to a gentleman's club…..if your heart can handle it