Here comes an age old question/debate… as the title suggests, how much did or would you spend on an engagement ring? Whether it be an amount you thought was appropriate and reasonable, or whether you copped some pressure from the Mrs etc.
Looking forward to hear some opinions or experiences :-)
Pfft, expensive engagement rings are for mugs. My family jewels are all she needs.
I'll take it you're single…
Nah, He is Alpha
3 months pay… you mean 3 months of the little bit thats left over after bills etc. right?
200 per month x 3 = 600. Hello cashies.
Cashies isn't a bad option for people wanting to stretch their money further on such a depreciating item. I've bought a Tiffany platinum diamond ring in Cashies for 10% of the price the same ring was on Tiffany website.
about 13-15K tiffany's ring, classic diamond on platinum.
It was a great ring. I could afford it.
If I wanted to do my own stuff once married, well I set the benchmark: "(insert my hobby) is cheaper than your ring honey". (PS, never say your ring was more, merely glance at it when doing your important things).
That is why it was an investment. In me. She loved it also.
We are now divorced but no-one will ever say I skimped on the ring.
Up to you. I know I am happy with that decision.
You don't regret it even after divorce? I hope she gave you some kids at least.
no-one will ever say I skimped on the ring.
No they'll say you overspent on the ring, so you made two bad decisions
My favourite part is where you give both wedding ring cost advice and relationship advice, then say that you got divorced but are happy with the 'investment' of the ring!
My 2c:
It is very important to be able to understand quality when considering gems, Eg. http://www.palagems.com/quality-4cs
Also, IIRC, the Chinese are beginning to produce industrial and other synthetic diamonds comparable or better than some high-end diamonds. No inclusions, perfect geometry, etc.
https://www.scmp.com/business/companies/article/2076225/de-b…
Not sure if this is a rumour, best to check with people that know first.
This is another cheap and nice 'stone':
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite
For sure. Thanks for the links! Interesting read. I'll be the first to admit that I was pretty much clueless when it came down to this! All I'd heard was the word "VVS" being thrown around and I assumed it was on the better end.
Lab diamonds and Moissanite have also been mentioned in several comments here, definitely an eye opener.
I got mine for US$3000; $2104 for the diamond itself, $925 for ring + setting, and $29 discount to round off nicely. Diamond was from Whiteflash and ring + setting was from Stuller. Round brilliant hearts and arrows, 0.623 cts, all AGS ideal cut, G colour, SI1 clarity. Basically the most bang for buck setup I found, with the consideration of being as good as the eye can see.
That's awesome to hear. I may go down the "custom" route too when the time comes.
Did the Mrs like what you got her? :P
Yes! She wanted a specific ring design, so I had to hunt down a place that had it. In terms of the diamond, I think it was the right size for her because her fingers are quite skinny. I'm fortunate because my partner also doesn't like spending too much on impractical things, so I think this was a good sweet spot. I didn't cheap out and I didn't spend a bomb :)
About $150. But the divorce cost me more than $600k.
Good investment.
Always get a prenuptial, unless it was a joke
Why isn't zero an option? Marriages are a scam for religious and government institutions to stick their noses into our private life. A marriage won't save you if things fall apart. No one cares at your wedding everyone is there for the drinks.
What a sad life you live Durham.
Truth hurt? I'd rather invest the ring money and the wedding money into our 'actual' future, not one day + ring costing upwards of 60K for everyone to get drunk and for us to stand around in a nice suit and dress.
Truth hurt? Sounds like you're trying to pass off your cynical opinion as truth for everyone, but ok.
That's fine for you, no arguments here. Everyone is different and values different things.
Some people want to show a sign of commitment of their love to each other in front of the people who matter most to them, in a way that is relevant to them. Doesn't have to be a traditional ceremony that I assume your imagining. Certainly doesn't have to cost upwards of $60,000!!!
No one cares at your wedding
I do kind of feel sad for you that you don't think you'll have even one good friend at your wedding.
Lol what does anyone get out of showing everybody how 'in love' they are, what a farce. Keep your love life and your expression of love between you and your partner, no one else REALLY cares. Yes they may be happy for you and smile during the wedding, but their driving home drunk while the wedding organisers are driving home poor.
Again, I feel like you don't quite understand the concept of friendship… but eh, you do you.
I agree with the farcical nature of an OTT wedding but you can certainly do it on the cheap if you want to.
I had 11 guests, paid $60 for my ASOS dress. Had the reception at a lovely fine dining Sydney harbourside restaurant with stunning views for about $150pp (a splurge you could say but not so much when it's only 13 people total).
no one else REALLY cares.
Not even your immediate family?
Ahhhh sweet misanthropy, such a comfortably numb place. 👍
Well…. it's a rather long story. I was engaged to a woman when I was roughly 30 and I spent roughly $55,000. We broke up and she was nice enough to hand it back. It wasn't worth selling since second hand engagement rings aren't worth much so I kept it for 10 years and presented it to my current fiance :)
Jeez $55k?! Can you adopt me please?
Why? He's broke and destitute after that experience.
No, I paid for it in the UK with a portion of cash at bank after working in the UK many years prior. It was cash I'd tucked away for a rainy day.
YOU DID NOT.
Found the ex wife.
lol
I sure did.
Everyones like "Adopt me daddy"
no idea why there is still so much appreciation for a piece of useless metal. Like it would make your marriage stronger yeah, nah. Happy that my missus shares the same mindset, not everyone is so lucky I guess :)
The family of a lifelong friend of my wife own a manufacturing jeweller. This was a blessing and a curse. On one hand they could produce something unique, on the other if I didn't use them I felt it might be judged.
I had them make the ring, I chose a feature diamond and designed around it. We ended using some yellow diamonds too.
My wife and I had been together for 10 years before getting engaged, and both near our 30's. Both add social pressure to spend more I feel.
Anyhow, I spent what I was happy to spend (8% annual income if you want a percentage), she loved it, we've been married for 3 years, she still loves it and most of her friends still comment on it.
Buy a moissanite ring from moissaniteco.com. You can get a 1.5ct moissanite (diamond size equivalent) solitaire gold ring (with wedding ring included) for about $2500 delivered from the US.
They're just like diamonds but better in every way, way cheaper, modelled after a rock that came from space, and there is no chance of it being a blood diamond.
My engagement and wedding band cost a total of $1500. Custom made with beautiful filigree.
Avoid diamond and your money goes a whole lot further.
Here's a small album of my engagement ring: http://imgur.com/a/0tDAj5R
I didn't use a ring to propose. Instead, I proposed with a watch.
Love the idea!
A bottle of graphite powder. If it is real love it will harden into a diamond.
You need extreme heat and pressure for that to work.
Guess that sounds like a marriage yeah.
$950 but then purchased a lifetime warranty which was $150. That included the wedding band.
Lifetime Warranty has paid off already. Gives you Rhodium plating annually free. Plus free cleaning every 6 months.
Well worth it.
From Michael Hill.
Only issue is if Michael Hill go out of business.
But even if it does tomorrow it has still been well worth it.
We didn't have money at the time, we bought fake $5 rings for our wedding. Now that we are better off financially, we think it is a waste of money considering we want to buy a house. Nor my wife nor I are attracted to jewellery thank god.
Spend about 1k on GraysOnline 10 years ago. It was a surprise. We were both happy with the ring. I was on about 35k pa then.
We talked later about possibly replacing the diamond when we had more money… which we do now… But neither of us wear rings.
Get a small jeweller to make it for you, and source the stones him/herself.
Also, buy the main stone yourself. Got ours in Sri Lanka (when on holiday) and saved thousands (don't worry, we had a gemologist back home to verify it), and also got something unique which isn't that easy to find in local Western jewellery markets (without paying a massive fee for having someone travel overseas to buy your stone in a massive discount multibuy).
buy her bose headphones as an engagement ring
Probably more appropriate to get them for myself for the noise cancelling feature.
Tech is the new bling!
I loved my Bose as an anniversary present. Much nicer than any jewellery :)
My tip. Prioritise size (carat) over cut, clarity and colour.
In my opinion, it would be rare for a woman to be know about anything other than carat size. If you tell her it's 1 carat or over, most women will be happy because it's something you can actually see with the naked eye it is big. All her friends will be impressed with the size.
I spent about 8k on my one (G colour 1 carat). My wife never asked about cut clarity etc, she just said she was happy it wasn't a "dot" i.e. small. I regret now spending so much as I could've gotten a lower cut and clarity and she would have been just as happy and none the wiser.
but they told me size doesn't matter
Ha ha ha!
Big, dull, off colour diamonds are the worst. I would prefer a much smaller stone that's clear (to the naked eye) and sparkle brighter.
Exactly. But clear to the naked eye begins (to my eye at least, around H level). No need to spend mega bucks to get a D stone. Heck, even J might be ok.
Realise, that to tell the difference requires you to put two stones side by side against a white paper background. Once set in a band this is going to be even harder to compare.
As for clarity, you need a loupe to appreciate a flawless diamond. If you get IF, you're paying extra for a feature that will likely never be appreciated or detectable to the naked eye.
I would tend to disagree. I was given a ring with three beautiful E diamonds and it's an incredible ring. It's so white.
I'm much happier with this than a bigger rock with a poorer colour.
In saying that, it doesn't matter what the specifications are as long as she's happy with how it looks.
Just a question on the topic: how did you find out the correct finger size for the girlfriend if she doesn't currently wear a ring?
People probably don't, but they are able to be resized and generally doesn't cost much at all
Go to a place like Michael Hill, tell her you want to buy her a promise ring. Get the store person measure her ring size, note down the size. Then proceed to look around and get ideas as to the design she likes. Then once the sales person is off your back as they are helping another customer, you leave. Else, just buy the promise ring or any other ring that's cheap so that she does not know what you are up to.
I was thinking of doing something along the lines, but rather just walking into a jewellery store and checking things out with her, and buying her a necklace instead, but still trying rings in guise, so when I propose she will be thrilled the ring fits.
Buy a ring sizer? Depends on how much of a surprise you want.
try the ring sizer on her while she is a sleep? Creepiest thing I could think of lol
Haha good luck with that!
Id rather let my partner choose her ring, so getting her ring size is part of the process.
I got bought mine off some poor sod who broke up with his Mrs and needed to get rid of the ring. I ended up lowballing him (he was desperate to get rid of it) and agreed to sell it to me for 40% of the valuation I got on it (from an independent valuer).
Haha one man's trash is another man's treasure! I'd feel guilty capitalising on someone else's demise but hey I bet they're more than happy to get rid of it…
bet she doesn't know the story behind the ring, like ever?
No, she knows! She was happy that I paid way less than what the ring was worth (it was OUR money that paid for it at the end of the day).
she's a keeper then
wonder if any woman can stomach a ring that meant for the ex
$7k - used a custom jeweler who buys wholesale
3 months salary.
Was going to get something in range of $2000 but instead bought one for $150 and took her to Fiji for holiday. Also that was my first holiday out of Australia since migrating here. We have so many photos and always cherish that it was my first ever time off after working tirelessly for 7 years in Australia.
Why buy the book when you can join the library!
Live with purpose!
I paid 8k which was done online James Allen or Blue Nile are great just make sure that they are not blood diamonds
8k in the scheme of life is not much and although through social can be a sign of what she means to you
Prioritize good size, go just under a carat ad add halo to make it bigger.
Life is just too short to be worrying about spending this and that. Do what you feel like1
8k in the scheme of life is not much and although through social can be a sign of what she means to you
8K in the scheme of a young couple wanting to buy a house/save for a wedding can be a lot.
social can be a sign of what she means to you
That's the jewellery/wedding industry brainwashing.
Protip: spend at least as much on your prenup/binding financial agreement.
I didn’t, and paid the price: I have been doomed to continually refresh the OzB homepage searching for cheap deals…
Username checks out.
Around $5.5k USD (0.56c) for the diamond and ring (platinum). Ordered online in 2011 (good exchange rate helped tons!). Hopefully no Ozbargainer now does their research and finds out that I got a $2 ring from Aliexpress!!!
Used this person's help: https://www.onlinediamondbuyingadvice.com/ - Back then she was a casual blogger, looks like a spiced up website at the moment.
Got the diamond from here - https://www.hpdiamonds.com/
Got the ring from here - https://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/sisley…
didnt get engaged. just skipped straight to the wedding, because thats what we wanted. Who writes the rules of engagement anyway?
bought our own wedding rings. mine cost $70. Wife was impressed it wasnt from Aliexpress. Shes happy, everyone is happy, and we're not in debt because of rocks/jewellery.
Congrats and use your common sense, not common thinking.
I'm happy too.
Gotta add we both have just one ring each, a bonus for not wasting time on engagement.
You know whats even better then not having to pay through the nose for useless jewelry? A wife that's practical!
Wife told me specifically not to get her big rocks so got something less than 2k from Blue Nile which she liked while the wedding band for her was just an understated gold ring for a little more than 1k. Due to the fact they are both quite small and light she wears them both daily.
My own wedding band is a custom $70 titanium ring that's super light and I couldn't be happier.
I had a budget for the three month salary nonsense but thankful that I could funnel that into the wedding and honeymoon instead which was a bit pricey since it was in one of those really old shrines in Japan. Luckily we shared the expenses equally.
PROTIP - check eBay. $5k rings go for $500 all day every day.
Many of them only months old! (ouch)
Natural untreated rubies, emeralds and sapphires are better bang for your buck imo. Diamonds are overrated. I use small ones for my custom rings though.
Around 20k for Tiffany ring
Should have gone all out bro!
So there are two different polls, one for Engagement Ring, this one for Wedding Ring. Well ours were both the same ring, because anything else just seems silly and unnecessary. You can only wear one at a time anyway.
Why? Most women wear two…
Not that I've seen.. And what about men?
A lot…. multiples of $10K
Makes me sick to think about it.
I too feel sick. Nothing more to say.
Just out of curiosity, was your decision at the time based on:
1. Impulse
2. Pressure
3. Your gut feeling on whether it was worth it
Definitely not impulse. Pressure mainly. Definitely not worth it. Waste of money.
I paid cash though and am not still recovering.
To make matters worse, I also got her a ring when she had kids from the same place.
You'd think she was a grateful wife…. Not a chance.
I paid $6k for my finances.
She likes a specific design which was out of fashion which in turn meant that no jewellery stores were stocking it.
I ended up finding one on Gumtree and had it checked, valued and authenticated that was exactly what she wanted so I made sure that she wouldn't mind a second hand ring.
The jeweller told me that the raw material value was $6.5k but the insurance value was $15k. So in the end I got a much nicer ring and exactly what she wanted for a much cheaper price. I originally didnt want to go over $5k but this ring was really nice.
Its crazy to me that people are up in arms about a ring, yet don't blink twice about marriage in the first place. Its such an outdated idea that you must be wed in matrimony to someone else. Its as bullshit as any other western tradition that revolves around giving away your money for little value gained.
If $10k on one night is normal to you then so is $10k on a piece of jewelry they'll wear everyday. gender stereotyping is still so abundant and irritating.
I got 3 diamonds on the ring. The other 2 were smallish ones on either side of the centre. The platinum band was thicker and more claws were added. Actually come to think of it, it was more like 13k. I got some other stuff done as well.