This one pops up every now and then but feel there may be a shift in recent years.
The current answer may be skewed by current economic crisis and the pandemic, but assume 'normal' conditions.
Acceptable Age to Still Be Living at Home with Parents?
inittobinit on 18/10/2020 - 18:44
Poll Options
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Comments
@Emerald Owl: Where I am in Australia, it gets below 0 easily during winter. I am sure broken heating is considered an urgent repair where I live.
I used to serve in military in a place that gets to negative 10s easily. I am used to cold, but the house was just so badly insulated that you could see your breath in the morning. That was where I was sleeping. If it were the living room, I probably wouldn't have even noticed.
All that aside, I was paying for heating as well. It was part of the verbal contract. So yeah, if they went, sorry the heating is broken, we will provide you with a temporary heater or something I wouldn't have said anything. They basically ignored everything I sent until I told them I will take them to a tribunal if they don't fix it by certain date.
And then they tried to squirm out of it, saying we didn't have a contract to get out of their responsibilities. Unfortunately for them, they recognised me as a tenant and verbal contracts are still considered a contract, and they did say utilities included heating. Their tone and everything is why I say they were taking advantages. They didn't listen and dragged on and on until I got a legal advice. Considering that they were renting the place out to the international students who know little about the legal system in Australia, I think the whole verbal contract bs was their way of getting out of their responsibilities as landlords.
If you've moved out before you'll realise that $150-200 a week isn't the only cost that will be incurred.
OP will be paying for: groceries, petrol, dish soap, toilet paper, laundry detergent, socks, car insurance, home appliances, electronics, dates with women, dates with men (possibly), shampoo, new underwear when his underwear develop holes (although this is not a must-buy), take away dinners etc.
Not only that but OP will be giving up a lot of their time doing all the things an adult has to do when moving out. If OP has life skills such as being able to cook, look after one's self then that would be a good start.
Yea it’s good practice to become independent while living with parents before first taking the jump.
Yea, especially the underwear part. Certainly good practice to become independent to know your size.
Until your kids kick you out.
As a younger bloke i would have said 30 although I moved out at 21 but as a Dad I will say 25 max. Cant wait for the empty nester phase
Empty nester here. Nest was never full. But that is just another benefit really.
With the state of the housing market and rental situation for as long as possible.
Every year spent with parentals/living at a discounted rent is another year taken off your future mortgage.
However it does get old and there comes a time when multiple adults under the same roof don't cut it.
I stayed at home until 22-23 when I could pay for a deposit on my own place. Paid bills at home but my folks were pretty leninet with the amount (which I was pretty grateful for). Nowadays I live in a bigger place with my wife and son and have been mortgage free for about 4 years now. Will be paying forward to do the same for my son when he's older.
The young ones at work are moving out at roughly 26. Usually party / travel while living worry-free at large family home until 25 then bam, quarter life crisis and start to save then move out at 26. At this point salary is comfortable enough to move out and still save some money and have a life, inner metro city living is expensive!
Paying 80% market rent or more and eating your own food and doing your own washing and helping out with the chores: Stay as long as they'll have you. Or as long as you can stand it. (P.s. this isnt my situation I just think if people want to do this and the person is paying their way, then good luck to them)
Studying full time (or doing a trade) and working part time: 25 years old.
Not studying (or doing a trade) + working full time + genuine achievable goals of saving for a house deposit: 25 years old or by negotiation
Not studying (or doing a trade) + working full time + no genuine or achievable goals of saving for a house deposit- You are on your path young grasshopper. Time to move out and face the world!: 18 years old
Not studying (or doing a trade) + working part time or less - Unacceptable. Stop leeching off your parents and pretending that life has an "easy" setting. Get a job and get out!: 18 years old.
Obvious exceptions to the above rules exist where disabilities are involved.
I know a load of ppl i grew up with in the last category they are in there 30s now….
That is there parents fault imo
another one of these posts where op doesnt reply?
Could be another one of those posts, where we are providing answers to their assignment questions… Quick method, post survey in OzB, Slow method actually go ask people (I guess it can be a bit harder in some states with COVID cases)
Maybe his mum took away his PC…
Current poll results shows, OP can stay at home, as OzB community had spoken.
Acceptable Age to Still Be Living at Home with Parents?
92
Speaking from your experience ;)
Partying with housemates and going out clubbing was awesome back in the days. Hard to do that if you live with your parents. Especially if your lucky enough to score a lady :)
Age should not matter. Rationally, you should move out as soon as you can, but only in two cases:
1. When you work somewhere far from home and you don't want to commute or you want to live in a different city or country.
2. When your home is uncomfortable to you in any way (eg bad relationship with parents, uncomfortable house, etc) and it is too hard or just impossible to improve it.Moving out just for the sake of "training" to be independent does not make any sense, especially if you have loving parents, nice house, good neighbours, etc.
An exception would be if you want to do something specific that requires you to have your own place to seek your happiness and goals. Eg dating many people from tinder LoL, need more rooms for your hobby, etc.
dating many people from tinder LoL
Remember a guy in this situation.
He just bought a tiny bedsitter in a trendy Sydney suburb.
Very happily living with his parents when not "busy" …
Genius!
Of course it makes sense. It is personal development, investment in yourself as a person. Why not make your parents continue pushing you in a pram after you can walk long distances since that saves your energy? Why not have them continue to feed you mashed food or even breastfeed you? Why bother going to the toilet, if you can make your parents change your nappy? Why not avoid getting any sort of job if you don't have to?
Because people need to grow and move forward with their lives. Not be stuck in a previous stage because it is more comfortable.
Why bother going to the toilet, if you can make your parents change your nappy? Why not avoid getting any sort of job if you don't have to?
I mean, didn't someone post recently about wearing adult nappies…
No it does not make sense, because you can still have personal development and investment in yourself even though you still live in the same house with your parents. I argue that usually they are not mutually exclusive. In cases where they are, eg parents are over-caring, then that would be an exception as you have a goal of personal growth.
All of the rhetoric questions you mentioned do not make sense either as they rarely happen in real world.Parents don't have to be over-caring to stop you from developing as an adult. You have to get into trouble and solve problems to grow. If parents are there taking care of the difficult things you are not growing. You have to move out of home one day, the later you leave it the less able you are to learn those skills as habits get ingrained and you're no longer in the ripe learning age.
@Quantumcat: As a person who was thrown in the deep end ever since I was a teenager, I personally don't see why it has to be done. Well during my teenage years, I lived in a homestay house, but I still had to look after my little brother in a very hostile household. That experience did give me few clinically diagnosable mental health issues, so eh.
During university, I had to cook and do everything for myself, which didn't go well in terms of my physical health; no one taught me how to eat healthy or cook anything, I had to learn everything from scratch.
Don't throw your kids into the deep end without actually preparing for them is the moral of the story. If anyone I know says something about a lion throwing his cub off a cliff to toughen it up, I will tell them that as someone whose parents believed in that concept, I almost died from it.
Anyways, slight side track, my point is, I don't see why it has to be a rite of passage that has to be done as early as it can be done.
@iridiumstem: There's a big difference between leaving home as an adult and leaving home as a child. If you'd had a normal upbringing (learning how to cook and clean etc while not under pressure to have to take care of everything yourself and not having to take care of a sibling), and left at age 19 or 20 you'd have had a very different experience.
@Quantumcat: Likewise, parents do not always have to take care of the difficult things for their children, even though they live together in the same house. Sometimes, you do not have to move out of home. You can take over the home and also your parents responsibilities, gradually.
It is hard to argue statistically if there is any difference in one's success or failure in later life as there is no good metrics to compare.
Unless you want to argue that developed countries become developed because youngsters are leaving home early as opposed in third world countries..@leiiv: They will take care of bad stuff though. There's things that simply nobody will have to worry about while their parents are there, unless the parents are very elderly or disabled and the child actually does need to run the household on their own as though the parents were the children.
It isn't monetary development success I am talking about, but personal development and relationships.
There should be another poll option:
<|> Whilst convenient for all involved
Looking after family members needing "attention" (not necessarily help or assistance) will change age limit.
Very close families wishing to enjoy and share their lives and experiences and events will be another.There is no age limit.
There could be limits on family bonds and situations. Not age.Whilst convenient for all involved
These are the magic words. Screw other people judgements and social pressures or cultural stereotyping.
Whenever you want to.
I think this depends on the size of your parents house. If you’re sharing a room, out a lot earlier than a 5 bedroom house with 3 residents.
If you're living at home, you better be doing something with your wealth.
You'll be able to tell the shift in society when the premise of movies like 40yr Virgin and Failure To Launch and Skinner living with his Mum aren't seen as funny or odd anymore. I'm not holding my breath.
Seems like a culture plays an important role.
My friend is 40+ (Spouse and 2 kids ) and he lives with his parents and takes care of them whole heartedly due to old age.
There are no issues generally and he is taking care of his parents and run the whole house. Does not take a penny from his parents.
And it is very common at the place where he is from.
Where did he do the baby making?
I see your point on privacy.
They have two story house and parents are at ground floor and he has master bedroom on first. So I think it works for him.
The point I am trying to make is living with parents whole life is not weird at all in many cultures and there is nothing which mandates you to exit the house of your parents.
Whats about your senior parents live in your property so you can take care of them?
24.97863
6, then off to the coal mines
That's fine for you fancy City folk… Coal mines… In old country, straight to potassium mine
You make it there, you make it anywhere.Potassium mines? When I was a lad we would dream about working in potassium mines. Instead we had to get up at 3am, take a 19 hour bus, work a day dawn to dusk knee-deep in asbestos, then take the same bus home before doing it all again the next day for only half a crown pay.
here is no 'magical age' i know people who are in there 40s still living with there parents, i've even seen ppls parents who have kicked the bucket and only been forced to move out due to other beneficiary's wanting to sell up the house.
It think the answer is when you are financially/emotionally/mentally ready.
But my opinion would be if your living at home at >30 and never lived away from your parents then your probably going to struggle in life…esp when they are not around
I think there's been a generational shift here… When I was a young 'un, the idea was to move out as soon as you could (1999)… 17 and move from the country to the city and out into the world… But it seems as though the tumours that are kids just hang around longer now.
Until you die. Take care of your parents so should your children taking care of you, unless they want you out.
As long as you're studying is perfectly acceptable
Don’t even bother moving out. I did that and it was the best decision until in laws moved into my home that I am paying for.
Now I have to support someone else’s parents that I truely hate and with the current pandemic going on, they can’t even go back to Wuhan.
The irony of leaving my parents only to live with your partners parents.
Dude you haven't hit rock bottom yet - try having your parents AND the outlaws under the same roof.
Ask me how I know :x
By the way if your outlaws are PR, besides the $8k one way ticket per person to flog them home, it's fairly simple to get an exemption for them to GTFO - all you have to say is they're ordinarily reside over there and won't be coming back in a jiffy.
If the person living with parents want to buy their own house one day and live in Sydney, I would not judge them even if they were at home at 60 years old.
Describe "living at home with parents". If you're contributing your fair share in financial and other household chores regularly then there is no shame. The parents benefit from you being there in their old age as long as you don't mooch off them.
Personally I would go insane if I had to live with my parents. Was out the door the moment I left school and got a job as were my brothers and my sister. Having said that as long as you are happy and more importantly as long as your parents are happy with the arrangements and you are not just a selfish leach then 18 or 80, makes no difference.
I don't care at all, the people that judge others based on if they still live with their parents are the types of people I want to avoid. Everyone's life and circumstances are different, there could be many reasons someone needs or chooses to live with their parents. I actually have a family member in her late 30's that lives with her parents because she has a disability and can't work full time, they are living happily together and she supports her parents as they get older.
As long as it is comfortable for everybody.
It is good to move out to start a family, but parents age and there comes a time when it makes sense to be under the same roof again.
I know people who took on that role at 16 (grand parent), 30 (youngest) and 50 (divorced). I know people who have moved back out once they has their kids. These were all health, stable people. No drug or alcohol problems. Non of that inter generational transfer of socioeconomic disadvantage.
Some of the advantages I have seen are the ability to take long holidays, the ability to save up impressive deposits massively reducing mortgages and less stress while getting a degree.
From 2007 until December 2019, I was the main breadwinner, raising my two children on my own. In Dec, my softwareDev son had banked enough to ask what I thought he should do with his savings from two years of working (surpassing my income). I said he should buy himself a house (cheap-times) and then his sister & I could help pay his mortgage vs. all of us paying off a strangers. So, he did! As a house-warming, I had a new floor installed in the main family room. The second living space is at the opposite side of the house, so works well when multiple people are over.
We are all good at staying out of each other's way and in taking on the chores we've always done anyway. Since we grew up in AU together, we share friends so know the people who come & go or stay over. My son works from home from his room, which he likes. The dining room is my home office. My daughter has secured work 3 days a week + volunteers, so is gone most days. She and BF take turns staying over at each others family's homes.
It works for us. She & I pay for all household items (including garden) & groceries + prepare all meals. I own the family car and cover all of the costs for that. I've told them both that until they have a SO and want to start a home of their own, there's really no reason to change things. Renting is a nightmare, as is finding roomates.
My vote: there is no time where it isn't fine to live at home, as long as you're being an adult and pulling your own weight.
Smart situation. Benefitting all involved.
Thanks. We're all very stable in what we want/do so it works for us. At some point, kids will want to branch out- and we'll see what we can do then. I would never stop them from living their own lives as they see fit. I had mine, they should have theirs.
This is entirely up to you AND your family circumstances.
For example
If your parents are aged and require regular assistance you might not have any option but to live with them or at least very close to them.So its not a matter of YOUR age at all.
Why does there have to be an arbitrary limit?
I’m 36, and my wife and I live with my parents. It means we can afford a much nicer house than each of us individually. It means we enjoy a great family lifestyle, but we each have our own space and we all contribute to the cooking, upkeep, maintenance etc. We love it.
It sounds great that you are enjoying that! May I ask if your wife feels the same? Nothing serious question but I have heard quite a bit of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law struggles so wanted to hear some insights on it.
Actually some of the people I know thought they were happy but when had a heart to heart convo with wife, realised that there were some underlying/unspoken struggles which the wife found hard to share with her husband.My wife is Vietnamese, my Mum is Indian, so between the two the culture is definitely to have the family group stick together 😊 Plus the amazing food!
until you're married
I bought my house at 29; I remember getting teased so much by everyone in my Uni days (a lot of my friends were renting back then and loved to gloat) but I had saved enough for a house that is now almost paid off that I was about to get into investment property. I'd say age doesn't matter but it's more about how much you save for a place of your own and how much contribution you provide to family/parents i.e. don't just leech off them.
Same boat as you, I was teased through uni and my first few years of working all the while my independent friends were paying rent.
I was fortunate to be in a position where I could save enough money for a house as well as living a good life and just bought one when I turned 29. All my friends who moved out for independence don't have houses and don't have deposits, they could have chosen to live at home for a little longer and would be financially better off now.
I’m 28, I let my mum live in my house as she has gone through a bit. European background here and we tend to look after family (cultural reasons). I left my house last year to work interstate. She is looking after the house and I’m paying the mortgage so win win :)
I'm Vietnamese and I find parents dont mind you staying til whenever you want to leave, if you dont ever want to leave, that's fine too, but kids usually move out when they get married. In saying that, I'm the same.. I dont want my girls to ever leave 🥺 they can stay until they feel ready to move out whatever the reason may be and I'll always support them. My girls are independent and extremely helpful around the house, even if they weren't, its fine too. They dont need to pay for anything either, though they do insist with the little $ they make from Maccas (16, 17 yo) but I refuse. I want my kids to save their money for themselves. I dont want anything in return except their ♥️ and respect which I have in bucketloads so 🥰
You shouldn't refuse to let them play, you are not doing them a favour. Have a joint discussion on how much is fair for them to pay and let them contribute. Especially if they actually have enough common sense offer to pay despite only being 16/17, you need to nurture that. It will help them in the long run.
You can always secretly put the money they contribute aside and give it back at a later date (ie when they are trying to scrape together a house deposit or whatever occasion you deem worth - if it's not much money you can even just give it when they move out to help buy some furniture etc).
I've seen it happened. Most kids find other ways to pay back….
ie there's a lot of old Asians with iphones… $1000 phone they use for calls and facebook, but mostly bragging rights, look at what my kid got me
Take their money and buy ETFs like spaceship type fund or a simple HISA so it will grow into a nice sizable chunk when they need it.
Maybe its time to leave if you turn 50 and your Mum still tucks you in when you go to bed, your Dad reads you a bedtime story and you sleep with a night light on while hugging your teddy bear.
Until you are married. Or you can afford paying rent or mortgage with your partner.
Not worth to pay rent just to leave on your own unless you don't want to own a place. Otherwise due to preference as some parents are hard to deal with.
I stayed til I was 29 due to marriage and wanting to help my mum around the house as much as possible. I focused and worked my career while staying. Saved enough for a mortgage with partner.
A lot of it to do with culture I agree.
When my kids grow older I won't force them to leave. They can leave when they feel ready. Financially it's better off leaving with us until they can afford living themselves. I do not expect contributions but at least learn life skills and respect parents at home, offer to help around the house and understand the importance of family before starting their own
I live with my parents because of cultural tradition, they are dependant of me and when I was a child I promise my mum I will take care of her when she gets old. Although my mum won't hold me on my promise I will honour the promise and at the same time regret it, lol
I pay the bills and everything in the household so I tell people that my mum live with me. My mum helps out looking after my 2 young child.
I am lucky to find a wife who accepts living with my parents and here we are living together. Not once did my wife complain. She is the best and I am very lucky to find her.
It was very difficult at first because they will always see you as a child but gets better once they recognise you are an adult. Disagreement over little things is very frustrating until boundry is set. Type of relationship will impact whether living together is possible so factor that in. My dad and I is not in good term do it was hard until his passing.
Personally I would want my kids to move out as I believe it will be better for the relationship. May be live near by would be the best arrangement. May be living together once they are older but I think they finding a partner like my wife willing to accept living with parents will be hard. My wife is one of a kind, like a rare Pokemon.
Kudos for remembering your childhood promise.
18-34 year olds having never moved out or moved back in with their parents in the uk is almost 2/3.
USA the percentage of 18-30 living with their parents exceeds 50%.Anything after university + 1 year working seems to be the line for males trying to date.
In my opinion, 17 is the last age it's acceptable. Beyond that you're an adult that should stand on their own two feet. If you think it's too hard, you're too soft.
We didn't come from wealth, or even a family with a home in the city. In the rural area I grew up, we had no choice but to leave, not just our parents, but our whole community and support networks in search of study/work.
These city kids (in their 30s/40s!) who think it's acceptable to leech off mum and dad while they "save" (ie are gifted through reduced rent) a deposit to buy (ie mortgage) a home, have it incredibly easy and need to harden up.
Extremely narrow-minded way of thinking.
Let me guess… you still live with mummy and daddy?
Leeching off society is having a government job earning money from our hard earned tax payer dollars for doing not much.
Just because some parents actually like their kids and want them around for longer, it shows a unified family…it's unfortunate that you may not have had this.
Not doing much? I haven't had a holiday in two years.. everytime I book one there is an emergency that requires rescuing fools like you.
My year started working 12 hour shifts for months in the State Control Centre managing bushfire responses and coordinating the rescue of thousands off the beach's. Then straight into an analysis of post-bushfire impacts (property/infrastructure loss) to determine recovery efforts. Which rolled into working endlessly on COVID response, restrictions, changes, etc.. and now the Bushfire season kicks off again Monday week and it all starts again. But yeah people in government are not doing much..? Seriously?
Depends how much you plan to get laid. 🤣
Good luck with your tinder dates.
Imagine you bring home a date and once you're done, you see your mum come over and pop some refreshments on your table while saying hi sweetie.
Answer is the same. It depends.
You're essentially trading off your independence and freedom for saving money that for me is worth moving out by 25
I think I moved out late 20's from memory basically after I'd finished high school, uni degree (which I changed courses and took a break so a few years lost there), got my first full time job, saved up for a house deposit and bought my first investment property. Then met my gf and moved into a rental with her… trust me there is still plenty of time for tinder. According to one mate he thinks I've clocked it on nightmare difficulty and that was in my 30's ;) Whenever you are ready is the answer, I still partied up but saved and focused on my career at the same time. I would say be smart and do both, you'll have no regrets that way.
I certainly don't judge those who are still living at home in their 30s and have no issue with it, in fact have a number of friends and at least one family member doing this. But wow I am amazed that 30+ is dominating the poll by so much, I thought it would be spread out across the 20s a lot more than it is.
I stopped living with my parents at 15. But my cheapskate brother lives with mum and our stepdad at 22 without paying anything at all. But I reckon around 18-20 is a good time to move out
It depends whether you own the house or they do…
After uni age. So I say 21-23 you should move out.
After you finish your education don't stay living at home more than six months. If you exited the education system at a young age then early 20's is ok.
The number of people voting 30+ is insane… you only get one life, please don't spend the best years of it sitting at home with mum.
After uni or when working is a good time to move out I reckon.
I'm still living at home and I'm 29.
For every positive to moving out I can think of a negative.One example is I contribute to the house [ will be mine one day so I don't mind] so I've added reverse cycle air cons to the house and nice sheds. If I moved out I'd need to rebuy all those for my place.
I also pay board weekly and help out around the house.You can feel like a bit of a loser sometimes when people your age start having kids and living with their wives but meh.
no woman wants to date an adult baby. Grow up and move out.
Yes sir.
If I do will you date me?
What if your parents wants to sell their house? Maybe downsize and travel a bit? They should. I'm encouraging my parents to do the same. Seems a bit presumptuous to just assume that they will keep the house until they die and then gift it to you.
Also, does that mean that you are planning on living in the same house your entire life and literally never move out?
You call me presumptuous about things in my life when you're going to assume things about people you've never even met? You must know I have a disabled sibling I look after and a mother with medical issues too then don't you?
Good idea to sell the house that's gone in worth from 150k when they bought it to over half a million valuation and blow it on travelling.
How about you worry about your own life
I think the opportunity cost is the main consideration of moving out.
Case 1: Son/Daughters of wealthy families have the privilege to do such things as rent for the experience of learning life skills or simply just because they can - This is because they actually don't bear any costs (wealthy fam has secured their future)
Case 2: Abusive family. I feel sometimes the value of money when weight against the damage that comes with staying in some families is justified.
Case 3: Cultural reasoning. As many have mentioned Asian families tend to find it acceptable for their sons/daughters. Whereas the opposite tends to apply to white Aussie families. I find the difference between these cultures is a rite of passage, Aussies is about being your own man in your own house, as to Asian/European/Minorities it's about being married (And as a result to be married in the majority of cases owning your own home is a requirement)
Case 4: Family might be poor. In this case, it's pretty obvious.
Case 5: Moving out due to work.
Case 6: Running out of money or some tragedy happening.
Case 7: (Majority of young people these days) Saving up for a house.
Either way, there is no "age" that you MUST move out as circumstances are not the same for everyone. However, I do agree that even I think there is an age too old to be with parents. I.e. Society tends to think 35 or older is a bit too old to be with parents as most assume that you'll at least be somewhere in your professional life to be able to afford something. But then again can't judge everyone with the same brush, perhaps there is a story to why they have ended up where they are.
20 then they should gtfo and fend for themselves
Should not be cowering at home behind mummy and daddy subsidizing everything when their supposed to have a job
It’s not taking advantage of someone to rent out a place with faults at a cheaper price. You could have bought a $5 heater or put on a jacket, this isn’t Russia.