Life Advice - What Advice Would You Give Yourself if You Were 18 Again

Ltoratiger on 01/02/2024 - 14:36
Last edited 01/02/2024 - 15:05

Hi OzBargain Community.

I'm now 18 years of old, an Adult. But I don't feel like one. I feel pathetic, I feel disgraceful, I feel like I wasted 18 years of my life doing nothing to be proud of. From a young age, being in a disruptive family, I had developed pretty severe anxiety which followed me throughout schooling. I was overweight and insecure, struggled mentally alot and was an introvert despite not wanting to be one. I cared too much about everything. I did seek professionals secretly but I have stopped ever since graduating, simply because I feel like its a big waste of money and I feel guilty considering how hard expensive it is.

I feel like I've found my purpose in Entrepreneurship. It's something I've always liked and been fascinated in. I started my first business when I was 16, it failed badly (lost 2-3k) and my mental did get pretty bad but I've been able to comeback. Entrepreneurship has also allowed me to not feel worthless, and feel like Im actually working towards something in my life. It has allowed me to somewhat get my life together, started to sleep more on time, workout more, and just study more, learning valuable information about life.

That's why I will be be fully committing to starting my own Ecommerce Store soon. I just have to do it. I will rather die doing this than pursue a boring degree I don't care about. I really hope it does well because I will put my all into it, but if it doesn't, oh well I'm still 18. Have some money from being spoiled but not much. Im putting all my money into this, I won't be asking my parents for any.

Is there any advice you would give?

I've found advice from strangers to funny enough be extremely useful especially with those relating to starting a business. I don't have anyone else to ask tbh.

PS - I'm really interested in Gym Apparel

Education & Work

Comments

    • toratiger on 03/02/2024 - 16:45
      +2

      at 18? lol

      • cheapskateteacher on 04/02/2024 - 20:26
        -1

        Not to be a smart ass or combative but I was working since I was 13 by then, so if smart with saving money at the time, yeah, likely could've afforded something small.

        • Void on 04/02/2024 - 23:28
          +2

          I'm 17 and make $20 an hour at Coles as a casual. Minimum working age is effectively 15. So if one worked 20 hours a week as a casual from 15 to 18, they would make roughly 20 (hourly rate) times 20 (hours) times 52 (weeks) times 4 (years), which is $83,200. Just enough for a down payment on a small property in an outer suburb, but then you have to consider who will loan to you considering you barely scraped up that amount of money by freeloading off parents.

          That would take serious dedication and a shit ton of luck. I only made about $6000 a year from work, so making $20000 a year is a lot of work.

          • dm02 on 05/02/2024 - 19:52

            @Void: You've had your account since you were 12?

            • Void on 06/02/2024 - 00:18

              @dm02: Yep lol. I think I got on here for gaming PC deals. I don't game anymore but I'm still a tightass 😂

        • Hangryuman on 05/02/2024 - 13:28

          my first paid job at 13 last century paid maybe $10 an hour - now old and retired after a lifetime of careful frugality (with lots of mistakes and losses along the way) I have more money than we're likely to spend - check out this video saying the first $100K of savings is the most important - 'Why Net Worth Goes CRAZY After $100k!' : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EgfrmCiZes

  • miguelsanchez on 03/02/2024 - 16:01
    +2

    Sort out your mental health if you need to.

    Learn your limits when drinking.

    The difference between a fun night out and blackout drunk isn't much.

    • toratiger on 03/02/2024 - 16:44

      Agreed, thanks!

  • CGradeCyclist on 03/02/2024 - 16:44
    +7

    I'm 50yo now, so my advice to my 18yo self would be:

    • Mate, you have so much time ahead of you, stop trying to achieve everything in the next 5 years
    • Stop overthinking everything as a life changing decision - your life has so many twists & turns ahead of it just go with it
    • You're not as ugly & boring as you think you are. People are more interested in you than you realise. Yes, girls too!
    • Drink less. Eat better. Exercise more. Invest in your health (both physical & mental) now, it'll give you the biggest payoff of anything you ever do.
    • Value people over money. Every time.
    • Value life experiences over money. Every time.
    • Give yourself permission to fail at things. Have a crack, learn from what went wrong, use the lessons to do better next time.
    • The only time you truly fail is when you don't have a go.

    That'll do for now. Good luck mate. Don't be too hard on yourself. And don't do things to "prove others wrong" - do it for yourself, otherwise you're just spending your life chasing the approval of others (that'll probably never come!). :-)

    • toratiger on 03/02/2024 - 17:00

      I agree. I do have so much time but maybe I've just been tricked by society to think I don't and by 20 I have to be successful haha. Great advice I'll take note. I've been trying to improve my self physically and mentally during my holidays, still working on it. I've failed plenty, I've learnt that failure comes with a hard learnt lesson which can be precious in life.
      Thanks

      • Poor Ass on 06/02/2024 - 12:33

        can't believe you got negged

  • Bearlion on 03/02/2024 - 16:49

    Join the workforce as a labouror, break yourself constantly, reach physical limits. First 2 months will be hard but show up sore the next day for a couple months, then you'll feel strong and more accomplished.

    • toratiger on 03/02/2024 - 16:58
      -1

      Yes, this is something I'll definitely look into but I just want to give the next 1-2 months working on my project to see whether theres any potential.
      Thanks for the advice!

    • ihbh on 03/02/2024 - 18:57

      This would be part of the advice I'd give my kids, even though I was a brainy academically inclined kid who only worked in high paying white collared jobs, but learnt the importance of physical labour in my mid-20s and then from my early 30s and will continue to do my own until the day I can't.

  • MessyG on 03/02/2024 - 17:50
    +5

    As a parent this was heartbreaking to read. I don't want my child to feel like they have to achieved anything by 18, except for childhood. I certainly would never expect them to be an experienced adult, after just getting there! The best thing about being an adult though, is that now you get to say "well yeah my childhood was effed up, but I don't have to be" and then decide, if you can, to learn and grow from that trauma, instead of fall victim to it forever. So you're already well on the way and you should ALREADY feel proud of yourself. Mistakes are how we learn and you've already done that and are trying again. One thing you're going to fall into forever though, is the trap of feeling like you're unlovable. And that's because, reading between the lines, the parents who were supposed to make you feel loved no matter what, have not achieved that. If I've got that wrong I apologise, and I really hope I have.

    Don't worry about achievement, whatever that means. Focus on learning and exploring this life you've been given, and understand that you are just at the beginning and there are no expectations that you get it right. And that confidence comes with mastery, so you really are well on the way. Master something, and once you have, everything else will unlock for you. Good luck.

    • toratiger on 03/02/2024 - 22:56

      Thank you so much for this comment. It was very heartwarming to read.

      I know I had a rough childhood and by no means do I blame my parents at all. I completely understand what they do and why they do it, I have no hatred towards anyone. I've just found it hard to appreciate and be grateful because I just don't know how to to be honest. My parents were always working and whenever they came home, they were obviously tired and cranky due to work stress and finances so we never had a good relationship.

      Being an adult now, I definitely feel like I have more responsibility for my life, I know my childhood wasn't the best but whats the help looking back. I can only move on from here and raise my child in the way i wanted to. To be honest, I did fall victim to that trauma, especially during my years of high school but I can say that I've recovered alot. After experiencing so much, I've definitely learnt that failure and mistakes are what makes us stronger and builds us as a person.

      To be honest, I don't know what being loved feels like but despite that I do know my parents love me even if we didn't have the best relationship. Its just that I know they do everything for a better future and for me. I love them but honestly have no idea how to express it because of our awkward relationship.

      Achievement is definitely something that pops up in my head lol. I want to do something to make my parents proud but moreso myself but im not afraid to fail and get it wrong so I'll look forward to my new adulthood. It is pressure but I've constantly told myself that i have time and etc, I still have time to learn and give things right, im bound to be successful etc.

      Thank you so much for your comment!

  • Thaal Sinestro on 03/02/2024 - 17:55
    -3

    Get a Commerce, Law or Dentistry degree. That's how you become rich in Australia.

  • Phattattak on 03/02/2024 - 18:45
    +1

    I don't really have anything to add, because you've already got it. I only worked out in my early 20s that the biggest thing holding you back, is yourself. Embrace uneasy situations, 99% of the time you'll come out on top, and if not, it's just a lesson to take onto the next challenge.

    As for entrepreneurship, just say yes to everything. Can you deliver X by Y? Yes….Do you have the skills to do Z? Yes….. Immediately the answer maybe no, but you'll figure out how to make the answer Yes by the time that it's needed.

    • toratiger on 03/02/2024 - 22:45

      Yea this is so true. I only recently learn to embrace uneasy situations more and im getting better. Yep I know, lowkey you just gotta suck up to the customer and learn everything you can and just pray the timings good. I was a coward before, and it didn't feel good but im doing a lot better now that im taking things slow

  • gakko on 03/02/2024 - 19:59
    +2

    Don't worry about wasted years. Worry about now and what you can do to a) be happy and b) be better. At anything. Don't expect immediate results. Just aim for improvement. Big or small.

    Be flexible and open in your goals but try to stick to at least something.

    18 isn't an adult really. No age is. You will feel no less your current 18 self at 40 than you do now at 18. If that makes sense. But you'll have more confidence and empathy. Don't worry about success, focus on doing cool shit that makes you happy or will now and that will do so in the long term.

    Be open to talking to people anywhere about anything. It becomes a superpower. Don't worry if you suck at it. Keep doing it.

    • toratiger on 03/02/2024 - 22:49

      Yes during High school I worried so much about my past years and what I've could have done better. Fortunately, I've been able to realise its not help regretting and just be better. I always thought of myself as someone who can work hard and do 10 hours everday if I wanted but i realised im just not who I thought I was. Now that taking things small, im doing alot better. It was a difficult pill to swallow because in a way I thought I was just that guy lol.

      I'll try be more extroverted as I've been an introvert my whole life despite not really wanting to be one. I'll continue to attempt to speak to more people in person

      Thanks

      • gakko on 03/02/2024 - 23:00

        I wasted more years than that chasing wrong ideas of myself! I'd just add don't worry lots about extrovert or introvert. I'm an introvert but still need contact and still get a lot from it. I just think talking and relating to people is a much more useful skill for happiness and career progression and basically anything, than people give it credit for. Anyway either way good luck it's all just life and sometimes it's good sometimes it's (profanity).

  • Fysh on 03/02/2024 - 21:36
    +1

    Get a trade , or education that is never obsolete.

  • gromit on 03/02/2024 - 22:15
    +1

    besides the obvious investments to become a quick billionaire. For simple Advise it would simply be invest a little more earlier in life (wasn't till I was 30ish till I stopped living paycheck to paycheck), while very comfortable now, for a very small additional investment for those first 10 years of my working life it would have easily led to early retirement and greater freedom.

  • cloudy on 03/02/2024 - 23:00
    1. Establish good habits
    2. Surround yourself with good people, friends etc. Their influence will be profound.
    3. Have good mentors, hero's, or role models.
  • this is us on 03/02/2024 - 23:22

    Most 18yo are pathetic and haven't built anything… I was probably pathetic, just finishing school, got into uni, hated the course,left after months and chose something completely different that required another two years to prepare. Pretty much happy career wise after that.

    At your age you probably start building something, so you pretty much have all the options still available, even if you didn't do much in the past.

    My main advice is for you to address your anxiety and other mental health issues that might be present. With the right help you can overcome anxiety. This is not a waste of money, but it does take time (and the right professionals).

    If you don't address your (social/general) anxiety, you will keep struggling indefinitely, and might feel pathetic indefinitely.

    It's ok to be an introvert, but that's not the same as social isolation because you feel anxious and uncomfortable.

    I'd also recommend you make more structured plans… Entrepreneurship is fine if you like, but you will likely still feel pathetic after some time if you keep moving from one thing to another without planning exactly what you wanna do professionally.

  • TightAl on 03/02/2024 - 23:42
    +2

    Invest in things you actually buy, imagine every childhood nerd invested in Nvidia/AMD/Intel/microsoft/LVMH 15 years ago? You'd be retired.

  • Cave Fire on 04/02/2024 - 00:25
    +1

    If you solve your emotional issues, then you can perform better/make better decisions. I'm 38 and still have emotional issues. Once you release fully, that stuff gets healed and you move on. Forgiveness is meant to help. Counselling was good for me and should have started earlier. @ 18, $2-3k may seem alot but tbh I lost more on speeding + traffic fines. Getting 2-3k in some investment or gov bonds will offset this. Plus if you learn and improve/fail forward it could help you in the future. Gym wear is a good area and I have ideas if you want to chat. At a basic level, you can go on AliExpress and some of the nano/antimicrobial lightweight stuff isn't released here or common afaik.

  • congo on 04/02/2024 - 01:11

    Buy a house :)

  • Sparkledust on 04/02/2024 - 01:50

    Look after your physical and mental health. Travel. Plan and prepare for the future while enjoying the present.

  • solidussnake on 04/02/2024 - 07:57

    When I was 18 I was studying at Tafe and at night doing night fill at Bunnings, it was tough but good exercise and met alot of really great people. If your wanting to do ecommerce get a job to put the cash into the business as I assume you will want to do ads on Facebook which will cost money targeting audiences etc

    I wouldn't change what I did I was a homeowner at 25 but I would stop myself from buying sports cars and wasting so much on insurance

  • Cluster on 04/02/2024 - 10:00

    Buy Bitcoin. Wait. Become rich.

    • lltravel on 04/02/2024 - 12:48

      was waiting for this, i remember buying 12 btc at 10$ each and sodl out at $120 each. w

      I would tell myself, shovel 80% of your income into btc.

      • liongalahad on 06/02/2024 - 02:38

        wow that must suck to know you would have been rich if you held to them.
        I remember thinking of buying 10 BTC when they were worth around 100AUD I think it was 2013. Then reading around articles saying it was a bubble lol. But Im sure if I bought them I would have never probably held to them beyond maybe 200-300 AUD, now Id be spewing lol
        And now it's way too late to risk anything on that nonsense, and I find it crazy to even suggest investing in BTC (same as betting at the casino imo)

        • lltravel on 06/02/2024 - 12:51

          who said i dont hold anymore?

          How would it be risky or nonsense when major players like BlackRock & Fidelity now hold 134,358 $BTC worth over $5.7 billion for their spot #Bitcoin ETFs.

          Its still pretty early. BTC is still in an infancy.

          Fiat is garbage, btc is king
          No one controls BTC except you.
          Banks can freeze and tell you how to spend your money. I mean look at commbank, now putting holds on funds for 24 hours and some banks flat our refusing purchases, NAB being one of them

          They are scared and dont want people to control their own money

          Maybe look outside the box mate.

          BTC is not a casino, its a currency for the people and freedom. If you actually think BTC is a casino you have alot to learn

          • liongalahad on 07/02/2024 - 04:27

            @lltravel: 100% casino

            • lltravel on 10/02/2024 - 12:35

              @liongalahad: 100% a person who does not understand the current banking system or money.

              BTC is up 131.23% in a yearly chart
              Blackrock now own 151,950 btc worth over 7 billion

              You're a slave to the banks in this era, bitcoin fixes all that.

              • liongalahad on 10/02/2024 - 16:08

                @lltravel: yeah. cool. +132% wow. you just confirmed it's 100% casino

                • lltravel on 11/02/2024 - 17:50

                  @liongalahad: keep being poor lol

                  • liongalahad on 12/02/2024 - 14:50

                    @lltravel: Im pretty far from poor cos Im not into betting lol

                    Enjoy your NFT collection mate. WOW, so cool

                    • lltravel on 13/02/2024 - 10:48

                      @liongalahad: NFT? shows you know nothing about the topic you're talking about

                      I am pro BTC and not any other coin.

                      NFT sit on the Ethereum blockchain, since that is the network on which most NFTs are sold, not on the BTC network

                      Go read a book or bitcoin whitepaper instead of acting like a fool.

                      • liongalahad on 14/02/2024 - 02:55

                        @lltravel: blah blah blah all the same stuff that has no real value other than what the market gives it, you buy something hoping someone will want to buy later at a higher price. That is literally it. There is no real value, there is no real use other than hard to trace transactions that are good for drug dealers and scammers. You can't but a piece of bread, or a house, or a car with BTC, or any other crypto crap. It will just take one day Xi Jinping to wake up on the wrong side of his bed, declare BTC illegal in China and you watch its value become very close to zero in no time. Read all the books you want on BTC, it remains a "gambling token" as Buffett said recently. Enjoy.

                        • lltravel on 14/02/2024 - 14:30

                          @liongalahad: keep going, cant wait to post this on reddit to show how stupid you really are.

                          you must be a banker 100%

                          • liongalahad on 16/02/2024 - 00:36

                            @lltravel: ah you are a redditor too lol that explains a lot

                            enjoy your echo chamber, don't worry everyone will agree with you in your cryptobro's subreddits

                            • lltravel on 16/02/2024 - 20:07

                              @liongalahad: https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/525006

                              funny you mention you're far from poor but mention you wont be able to cover the mortgage easily

                              LOL, thanks thats all i needed to know

                              • liongalahad on 16/02/2024 - 21:55

                                @lltravel: that was 4 years ago mate, was worried about covid coming up. My financial situation has changed pretty dramatically since then and definitely not thanks to gambling but because of actual work. Probably you have no idea what I'm talking about.
                                But anyhow.. wow, I must say, pretty pathetic going all out and digging out old posts, means Im really in your head lol I would never even remotely give half f*** looking for any sort of information about your life, unlike you I coundn't care less loool
                                Sorry if I hurt your feelings btw

                                • lltravel on 17/02/2024 - 13:47

                                  @liongalahad: The fact that you think bitcoin is gambling shows how you dont understand the fundamentals of a decentralized currency

                                  Keep being a slave to fiat

                                  Please do email blackrock and tell them to stop gambling, only one of the worlds largest companies in the world with $9.42 trillion in assets

                                  I guess you know more then them? Please do tell me about your net worth?

                                  • liongalahad on 17/02/2024 - 14:09

                                    @lltravel: I could ask the same question, Berkshire Hathaway's CEO WB said he would not buy all the BTC in the world if they offered them to him for $25. Do you think you know more than Warren Buffett?

                                    Sorry, but to me you are like someone who tries to convince me you can get rich by gambling on horse racing. I am sorry if this hurts your feelings, but thats what I think. You can think I am a "slave". Difference is I don't care what you think and do not give a flying fk of what your net worth is or how long your dk is. You can go on with your life and I can go on with mine I guess.

                                    • lltravel on 17/02/2024 - 14:43

                                      @liongalahad: do you think i give a shit what the ceo of berkshire hathaway says when he holds shares in Wells Fargo, Goldman Sachs, massive banks? oh gee i guess that has nothing to do with it?

                                      You clearly are too fkin stupid to understand what freedom / slavery is

                                      Goodluck mate, dont lose your home over it.

                                      • liongalahad on 18/02/2024 - 02:50

                                        @lltravel: oh my god you get so worked up, it's actually cute
                                        keep doing everything you can just to try and avoid working a day in your life, so good luck with your gambles

                                        • lltravel on 18/02/2024 - 12:12

                                          @liongalahad: im up 287k this month, you probably wont even make that in a year, let alone 3 years.
                                          a great "gamble"

                                          Keep hustling little man, go play with your dollar coins

                                          • liongalahad on 19/02/2024 - 03:56

                                            @lltravel: omg you really still going on about this lol
                                            let me repeat… I - don't - give - a - f—k
                                            Did I ever question you being rich? Did I question you making money from your crypto? All Im saying is to me, whatever you do with crypto, thats gambling. It's going well now, it may go bad next month or next year. You are up 300k this month, you may be down 400k next month, or maybe not, who cares. Seriously you have to trust me, I do not give a f—k, does that enter your head? Why in the world you get so worked up for what I say and need my approval? Are you really that insecure, big man? You shouldn't as you are making the big bucks lol

                                            • liongalahad on 19/02/2024 - 04:10

                                              @liongalahad: Now please let's stop this here. Or maybe answer if having the last word is important to you, go for it, you can have it, seems like you need it. As I said I don't care…. Good luck!

  • payless69 on 04/02/2024 - 12:04

    Get a reality check and sort out that the difference between facts and fiction, learn that philosophers get away with crap while true scientists make only peanuts.

    • WhyAmICommenting on 04/02/2024 - 17:17

      Do CEOs qualify as “philosophers” for their company?

  • The Wololo Wombat on 04/02/2024 - 15:36
    +2

    Speaking as someone who has made ~30-40k online (a very modest amount)….In my opinion, e-commerce stores are a saturated market. Statistically you will almost certainly fail, even with 110% effort. Be prepared for this outcome and realise that the lessons you learn along the way are are what is important, not the success itself (it's a bonus if you actually make money… you will likely not, especially with the products you've alluded to).

    Instagram/Tik Tok leads you to believe you are a failure for working a job/doing things the 'normal' way. This comes from the algorithm and people paying to promote their 'programs'… it's like a pyramid scheme imo. Do not shirk your responsibilities at university, this will be the best way for you to get ahead… and if you do (at least at this stage) you are a fool.

    Most of your early 20s is NOT about career success etc, it's intrapersonal success, being more confident, empathetic, assertive etc - whatever you specifically need to bring more 'balance' to your personality…. developing your soft skills and being able to relate to people from all walks. First clean your room before you try and change the world….

    Oh, and don't be a slave to addiction in any form. Unfortunately, the all the $$$$ corps have spent $$$ making sure you are (to their products)… it's the worst it's ever been for your generation. I'd read the stoics and the new testament to have a 'frame of reference' for purpose and meaning first.. then you will have a strong foundational basis of values necessary to tackle the challenges ahead.

  • frugalftw on 04/02/2024 - 15:56

    Get professional advice. Find a therapist of any modality that you connect with and start working on yourself, it’s the best investment that pays off in happiness. Nothing is ever yours or anyone else’s fault. We are the products of our environment, that includes friends and family, parents and everyone you ever come across. Nothing is ever personal, you are just at the right place and right time to experience whatever you experience, it’s never good or bad, it just is.

    The most important one is more of a skill: learn to ask the right questions, not to find the right answers.

  • BartholemewH on 04/02/2024 - 18:43

    One you turn down is one you'll never get.

  • furyou on 04/02/2024 - 20:20
    -1

    Buy gold. Or bitcoin. Or nfc. Or whatever.

  • twotwotwo on 04/02/2024 - 20:24

    Be more confident. Don't be mediocre.

  • jellykingdom on 04/02/2024 - 20:49

    Ps kudos on not subtly dropping your web address in the post

  • ribze1 on 04/02/2024 - 21:23
    +1

    Don't go to uni, become an electrician.

  • CourtJesterau on 04/02/2024 - 21:48

    go to Pattaya in Thailand for a month then back pack around SE Asia for the rest of the year and learn to work digitially

    Enjoy your youth you wont get it again

  • MITM on 04/02/2024 - 23:14

    If your interested in gym apparel- you may have heard of Gymshark. If not, look up the story of unicorn Ben Francis on YouTube and be inspired.
    One piece of advice, if you’re truly motivated, find a mentor.

  • icanconfirm on 05/02/2024 - 02:56

    I dont see myself as much, or a pillar of anything Ive written below, but two principles:
    1. I know I can change, thats up to me when I decide to
    2. I can teach my offspring things to prevent them from experiencing my shortcomings/regrets, albeit knowing the best form of teaching is mastering those shortcomings

    Habits- showering, brushing teeth & flossing, working out, listening to music, reading, introspection- journaling, writing

    Career- ask questions, don't be intimidated or fearful, speaking up, academics vs real life, know your career options, know your boundaries, learn to communicate

    Interpersonal- building a small group of close friends, helping and getting to know your parents, figuring out what you want in a partner, life after marriage/children

    Self- just try to know everything about yourself, be able to identify your emotions, how will you show you love yourself, how will you feel fulfilled (prepare for accountability- I.e. your partner/friends/family will not necessarily help), mental health is important- accountability vs comfort/victimhood, resilience, empowerment, self worth/confidence, independence, dealing with grief

  • User102430 on 05/02/2024 - 09:57

    Long time ago I read the sentence, I think it's from Twain, that goes like this:

    "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

    Years later, I 100% agree with it. Don't be afraid to try things. You're making and will be making mistakes. It's more important to know how to learn from these rather than try to avoid it completely.

  • t_c on 05/02/2024 - 10:01
    +1

    Hookers and coke

  • mavis30551 on 05/02/2024 - 10:34

    Get a Job at a bar or any job that forces you to interact with people. Start practising your communication skills, banter, general chit chat.

    Read psychology and general self help books books on how to make friends and influence people.As many as you can. The reality is most opportunities in life come from who you know, not what you know.

    You can be the most interesting person in the room but if your self centred and self absorbed no one will want anything to do with you.
    Those books will teach you how to connect to people and building meaningful connections with people will get you further than anything else in life.

    Build habits that help your mental and physical health - IE, eat healthy, Gym daily etc. Stick to them.
    The mind is a powerful thing, you can teach yourself confidence, be anything/anyone you want to be.

    • witheredcouch on 05/02/2024 - 11:03

      I think there is a definite difference in people that have worked in hospo or retail, and those who have not. I think it is honestly something everybody should do for a bit.

      Overall, my advice to myself would be, don't rush it, don't rush into uni like you did, you'll find your path, may as well have fun until you get there.

  • Gippopotamus on 05/02/2024 - 11:01

    Knowing what you don't want to do, is as important as knowing what you want to do.

    Try out things. Realise what you dont want, and figure out from there.

  • Cho0028 on 05/02/2024 - 11:24

    Quality of friends is more important than quantity of friends

  • dimes on 05/02/2024 - 11:38

    Life is like a basketball game, you can divide it into 4 quarters.

    No matter how bad you play in the first, or even second quarter, you still have the third and fourth quarters to play well and catch up.

    You have plenty of time in life, don't let some early failures get you down.

  • leeweesquee on 05/02/2024 - 14:06

    A degree doesn't automatically get you a job.

  • cenakhoa on 05/02/2024 - 14:09

    My advice:

    • Solve your mental health and overweight issue first by exercise at least 30m a day, 3x per week, for at least 3 months (minimum time to have momentum).
    • Cook for yourself healthy fresh food. Eating out will drain your money and is not healthy. Buy meal kits like hellofresh, marleyspoon to understand what's a healthy meal should look like and gain traction. Drink a lot of water.
    • You are late to the e-commerce, drop shipping trend, you have been hooked by e-commerce courses that promise a bright future. Unless you produce your products or hold a strong grip on its design and manufacturing, you will fail.
    • Human knowledges are expanding at the speed of light but it seemed like you looked down to university degree. Like a hunter refused to learn the alphabet and instead goes hunting 500 years ago. There are a lot of great learning fields out there, you are just not in the right place and haven't found any inspiration or good examples.
  • zazutata on 05/02/2024 - 14:16
    +1

    Business owner here. Have made more mistakes than I care to remember, lost money, made money and ridden out challenges like losing clients, being abused (verbally and via email), lying awake at night wondering if I'm making good decisions, dealing with staff, the ATO, ASIC blah blah. So, would I do it all again? Yes I would. I work with some great people, have good client and vendor relationships and, ultimately, enjoy being my own boss.

    Like many, I romanticised the notion of running my own show but the reality was so far from my rosy expectations, I almost walked away. My advice to anyone thinking of starting up their own enterprise is to think like a franchise. Document everything from the outset so that you end up building a manual around every single one of your processes. We did this retrospectively and it was a nightmare. Understand that you will do hundreds of hours of unpaid work, often at very unsociable times and spend interminable amounts of time chasing dead-ends down rabbit holes. However, once your business systems are established and stable, those unpaid hours turn into paid time as you become faster and more efficient at what you do.

    If things go well, you can take people on and your systems will be there for them to adopt and help you grow what you do. Ultimately, you may be able to sell your business and hand over that all-important manual and move onto your next plan.

    Good luck with whatever path you decide to follow.

  • monky on 05/02/2024 - 14:19
    +1

    Tear gas hurts

  • Kiro on 05/02/2024 - 14:46

    Fix your head or don't bother living.

  • IM-Cheap on 05/02/2024 - 15:49

    I'd go back and tell myself a degree is overrated and a high skilled trade like electrician/plumber/refridgeration mech would have made more money and been more flexible. You can always do a degree later part time but its super hard to give up a full time above average salary to do a full time apprentiship being paid nearly nothing when you already have financial commitments.

  • Drakesy on 05/02/2024 - 15:59

    Don't change anything.
    Take a gap year.
    Figure out what you want to do, strongly recommend uni, work, party, travel, chase girls (don't get into a relationship until mid 20's) do everything you can do in your 20's as it gets harder once you're working full time. There's only so many gym brands this world needs Come 30 you'll be sitting pretty on a fairly decent salary.

    Don't focus on becoming a millionaire by 30, live your life and only start concentrating on finances when you're 25+

  • Edobear on 05/02/2024 - 16:14

    My advice is to own what you are.

    Being an introvert is not a bad thing like you are making it out to be. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert and your current mindset is causing this lack of self identity.

    If you are blaming the fact you are an introvert (which is evident in your statement "was an introvert despite not wanting to be one") and that you were not going out socialising or had difficulty socialising then you are giving an excuse or trying to justify why. Accept you are at fault and only then can you improve yourself.

    It took me many years to understand this concept and not blame the fact I was an introvert. Socialising and knowing how to progress a conversation is a skill and as with all skills, is learnt. Having learnt this skill, my wife even says she is embarrassed when I say I am introverted to her friends as they all cannot believe it. Being an introvert is your natural tendencies, whilst socialising is a choice.

    As one of my friends said to me, there is nothing cooler than a man who is proud of what they like. Own what you are and life will only be better. The people shaming you for what you like or who you are, are just expressing their own insecurities.

    Lastly, do right by people. Karma has a way of coming around.

    Source: Run my own mortgage broking business with employees now. Heavy introvert.

  • airtime on 05/02/2024 - 16:42

    The biggest relief I experienced in my life (far too late) was realising:

    i) most people aren't judging you, they are too busy with their own life to notice
    ii) it doesn't matter what other people think anyway
    iii) being different is a good thing. The billions of people who are the same are not our leaders or high achievers.

    For me this only came with age, I wish I could have actively got there through my own efforts. But this one realisation freed me more than anything else.

    Other thoughts:

    • Show respect for others
    • Network and seek out mentors
    • There are lots of different paths to get where you want. Don't feel that performance at high school or even uni holds you back for life. There are lots of different roads to success
    • Cherish you parents and family. They matter more than most of us realise until later (or too late) in life.
    • Do what you like doing, don't force yourself into a career or life path you don't like
    • If you are going to have kids, do so before 40.
    • Learn how to take risks in a managed and controlled way
    • Give back to your community. Care for those who no-one else cares for.

    More than anything else: seek contentment, not material wealth.

  • Morphio25 on 05/02/2024 - 17:13

    The advice I'd give myself is "BUY BITCOIN!"

    In all seriousness though I had to buy I think it was 0.8 of a coin when it was worth $30 or something like that in order to pay for a sub to a Usenet indexer. If I'd just bought $1K worth it'd be worth over $2M now, $3M at its peak.

    • Blargman2001 on 06/02/2024 - 00:45
      +1

      The other question is, would you have held on all the way to $3M? Most diligent investors would have taken their profit way before hitting the peak, it was only the true believers and foolhardy that rode it all the way. You may have even lost it all in the Mt Gox hack if you didn't have an offline wallet.

      • Morphio25 on 06/02/2024 - 08:44

        All very true. Most likely I would've cashed out at the point where I paid off my mortgage (about $180K at that time).

        The hopeful side of me would like to think I would've hodled but the cynical side of me knows there's very little possibility that would've ever happened.

  • Kparky on 05/02/2024 - 18:33

    Think with the big head

  • Roe Jogan on 05/02/2024 - 19:21

    dont go uni and waste 4 years, hit the gym hard and diet hard, travel when you can, i barely did and reget it, now im 30 and still can but the older you get the more involved with work you will be and less likely to go travel on those backpacking journeys , slay the 'mids' that you didnt coz you thought you could do better. you got to slay a few mids to get to the princess. let so many mids and above mids go and i regret it. spend more time with family, you will realise the older you get, thats the only thing that matters in this world. hapiness, health and family

    • toratiger on 06/02/2024 - 22:20

      TBH its more of a forced thing, I don't have a say. I'm currently hitting the gym and diet hard because I regret not doing it when i was in high school.

      Yea I will definitely look to make better relationships with my family.
      Thanks!

  • CalmLemons on 05/02/2024 - 20:15
    +1

    eCommerce has been done to death and is mostly like commodity trading now, you would need to come up with a unique useful product to sell.

    Read more books. At 18, you don't know much.

    Work like a dog.

    • solidussnake on 05/02/2024 - 21:01

      Sounds like OP doesn't want to work at all…

      • toratiger on 06/02/2024 - 22:17

        Sorry if it sounds like that, but I definitely want to work. TBH I've been trying to find a job for a long time but ever since I had a bad experience recently when I had a trial and I was ignored for a few hours after turning up. It was pretty angering so I've put less rush on finding a job. I've also been rejected from many places. TBH I feel like although I am an introvert, I have said I can work any day, anytime (morning day night shifts) and that I can do heavy lifting etc. I don't fully understand what Im doing wrong. I have also worked at a place i got through via connections tbh and I did well, they had put me on every shift they could and I never complained or anything.

        But I lowkey realised, I really need a job asap and im going to be putting more pressure on it.

        • CalmLemons on 07/02/2024 - 19:11

          If people ignore you, be proactive.

          No one wants to babysit someone at work, go ask for something to do. But don't be dumb and do something dangerous.

          Just keep going, maybe toughen up a bit. Job market is in the employees field these days, so perhaps you may need to take a different perspective and attitude.

    • toratiger on 06/02/2024 - 22:19

      I agree that Ecom has been done to death and that I would need to come up with a unique useful product. But it doesn't necessary mean theres no chance.

      I'm currently working on a project, if it fails, I'll definitely take a step back and kind of reevaluate my future. Im studying more and more about Ecom via videos, books, etc

      I am looking to work though definitely.

      Thanks

  • Blargman2001 on 06/02/2024 - 00:40

    Don't be a pharmacist, don't listen to all those people who told you it's a really well paying job. They are lying.

  • liongalahad on 06/02/2024 - 02:33

    Honestly, I would tell myself to start investing every month a small sum in indexed funds, no matter what. Such an easy way to a more comfortable life later on.

  • ofey on 06/02/2024 - 07:26

    I wouldn't have gone to University but would have found ways to learn the art of selling.
    Along with that, I would have learnt to ignore all the silliness of being morally upright and not bothered if the work I did was helping the world I live in. So long as I can convince myself I'm a good person.
    My lack of conscience as a result would be less painful than my earnings now.

  • woofwoofwoof on 06/02/2024 - 10:12

    Life lessons

    Get a licence and a car.

    Get a uni degree - any even a BA

    That's it

    • toratiger on 06/02/2024 - 22:14

      Agreed! Degree is definitely important, I'll definitely continue to pursue my degree unless I find something big.

      • CalmLemons on 07/02/2024 - 19:12

        To be honest if you were the type to find something big without a degree, you wouldn't be here asking. I'm not saying I am either.

        Get that degree, statistically having a degree, over a 30 year stretch of time, people with degrees end up earning more than those without.

  • unfunkable on 06/02/2024 - 10:23

    Put money into super as soon as I started working.
    Put a small amount each month into Vanguard High Growth Index Fund

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