Customers Asking Where I am From. Do You Find it Racist?

Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 14:28
Last edited 09/02/2024 - 14:11

Hey everyone! I haven't posted a forum post for a while. I work in retail (I won't say where) and I have people/customers asking me where I am from.
I personally find it racist for people to ask me out of a sudden/randomly where I am from. Where does that accent is coming from? Strange name, where are you from?
How long you have been in Australia? Why did you come to Australia? Are some of the questions I am been asked daily and to be honest it's getting on my nerves and I find it racist.
To give you context, this are not regular customers that I have interactions everyday. This are random first time customers.

What do you think?

Racist or not racist.

Also I would like your input on how you would reacted if something like this occurs daily to you.

Edit: Thanks to scrimshaw for sharing this article. Although I respect people's opinion, I would suggest people reading this article that might change the way you think.

Poll Options

  • 143
    Definitely Racist
  • 657
    Not Racist
  • 941
    Just nosy/curious people
Education & Work

Comments

                • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 16:06
                  -3

                  @CurlCurl: Believe me some of the incidents that occur at my workplace are very specific that someone might link the puzzle pieces.

                  • Sxio on 08/02/2024 - 08:38

                    @Scrooge McDeal: This is smart. Don't identify yourself. I'm very disappointed in some of these responses and you don't want some whacko working out where you work and making a scene because they're bored.

          • McFly on 08/02/2024 - 14:32
            +2

            @Scrooge McDeal:

            They might be just curious and I am overthinking it.

            Bingo!

      • foursaken on 08/02/2024 - 08:12
        +1

        Not sure this is about racism rather than poor social skills.

        I agree with AdamFury - I'd probably never ask "how long have you been here" or anything to do with that, but I might ask you if you are from a specific culture/country if I think I recognise it (or indeed if I have no idea!) I have and would also do this to white bread people with funny accents.

        But saying "how long have you been here" is a question from the 70s or something - socially clumsy and a prying question really.

  • EmCKay on 07/02/2024 - 14:37
    +30

    Retail workers make small talk with customers day in and day out. The customers are just doing the same. I have a name that is a popular song title. Customers sing it to me all the time. The fact that people take an interest in you is far better than those who ignore you, grunt or throw money (or stock) at you, no?

    • zonra on 07/02/2024 - 14:42
      +31

      I refuse to take anything you say seriously, Never Gonna Give You Up.

      • EmCKay on 07/02/2024 - 14:50
        -1

        ?

        • PiratePete1911 on 07/02/2024 - 14:56

          He's guessing your name is the hit song "Never Gonna Give You Up"

          • EmCKay on 07/02/2024 - 15:00

            @PiratePete1911: I’m definitely not Rickrolling. I’m female 💕

            • Exorcist on 07/02/2024 - 20:02
              +3

              @EmCKay: Hope it’s not WAP

            • 7ekn00 on 10/02/2024 - 00:26

              @EmCKay: Roxanne
              You don't have to put on the red light
              Those days are over
              You don't have to sell your body to the night
              Roxanne

      • Skatez on 07/02/2024 - 16:32

        😉

    • djkelly69 on 07/02/2024 - 14:50
      +1

      Daniel, my brother!

    • hdus002 on 07/02/2024 - 15:08
      +3

      Alice?

    • Nillionaire on 07/02/2024 - 15:57
      +8

      Hey there Delilah!

    • djkelly69 on 07/02/2024 - 17:03
      +4

      Jolene?

    • carlJack on 07/02/2024 - 19:06

      Cecilia?

    • Eeples on 07/02/2024 - 20:28

      Wake up Maggie imo would be a bit rude.

      I think Jan’s got it bad with the whole ‘not happy Jan!!’

      But I feel most sorry for the Karen’s.

    • sandman28 on 08/02/2024 - 06:59
      +3

      Come on Eileen!

    • Lurk Hartog on 08/02/2024 - 10:40

      Stacy's Mum?

    • bmxr on 08/02/2024 - 13:26
      +1

      Valerie?
      Barbara Ann?
      Black Betty?

      Don't leave us hanging sub-OP!

    • McFly on 08/02/2024 - 14:33
      +1

      L-o-l-a?

    • McFly on 08/02/2024 - 14:35
      +1

      Evie Part 1?
      Evie Part 2?
      Evie Part 3?

    • McFly on 08/02/2024 - 14:36
      +1

      I believe you, Ita.

    • bmxr on 08/02/2024 - 18:44

      @EmCKay

      come baaaaaaaaccckkk, we need closure!

      Janie's Got a Gun
      Maggie's Farm
      My Sharona
      G.L.O.R.I.A
      Help me Rhonda
      Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of…) [Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita, Monica, Erica, Tina, Sandra, Mary, or Jessica?]

      • EmCKay on 08/02/2024 - 22:25
        +2

        Not so popular nowadays but still very well known to the customers that I have interactions with.
        Michelle -the Beatles.

        • bmxr on 12/02/2024 - 00:00
          +1

          Thank you!

    • bmxr on 08/02/2024 - 18:52
      +1

      Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Rubyyyyyyy

  • bargaino on 07/02/2024 - 14:42
    +28

    I cannot help noticing that you are avoiding answering the question, Mr McDeal .
    Where are you from? Is that a Glaswegian accent I'm hearing?

    In Africa they called me Wazungu.
    In China they called me Meiguoren, meaning American - apparently all us westerners look the same.
    In Australia, Asian restaurants give me fork and spoon instead of chopsticks. But I brave the pain - the world is horribly, horribly racist.

    • ToyotaCrownHybrid on 07/02/2024 - 17:07
      +3

      Yes Migoreng is China language for American 🔥

    • 900dollaridoos on 08/02/2024 - 10:13

      These points are all logical but mean nothing to the type of people that make posts like these. Their default assumption is that its truly impossible to be racist towards whites, so any comparisons will not even be conceptually possible for them to take onboard. I've had these chats in person, its facinating.

      • bargaino on 08/02/2024 - 10:23
        +1

        I can see how some people might find the questions insensitive, … it is a cultural difference.

        It's like when Asians ask someone they just met what their job is, how much money they make, what house they own, etc
        Not so acceptable in our culture as theirs. But to pull out the "racist" card?

        • TrustNoBody on 08/02/2024 - 15:31

          i have never met an asian and they ask me what i work as or how much i earn , is it certain asians ? as i mainly meet vietnamese ?

          • bargaino on 08/02/2024 - 18:06
            +1

            @TrustNoBody: To clarify, this is something more likely to happen when visiting China, etc than from immigrants here.

            Of course we should not complain about their cultural norms while in their country.

  • emblurr on 07/02/2024 - 14:42
    +40

    Racism is discrimination and prejudice to someone based on their race. There is no racism nor intent to be racist here. People are just curious and making small talk.

    • Minimum chips on 08/02/2024 - 06:16
      +8

      It comes down to the approach to multiculturalism. In some countries the approach is "if you become a citizen you can be X, and no-one can question it - you become as real an X as someone born there". So if someone says "where are you from" it's implying you aren't a real X because you sound or look different. It goes against that understanding. In that cultural context it is quite insulting, bordering on racist (because they are making judgements based on race).

      Australia doesn't have that understanding as much. If you are born somewhere else, you will always be "from there" even if you become a citizen. So when people ask that question it doesn't undercut the targets rights or identity so much. This applies to the first generation of immigrants, who are marked by their accent.

      Second generation kids who sound Australian don't get the question as much, but for some older white people, the idea that non-white people can be "from" Australia is hard to grasp. Even the Ozbargain crowd will agree asking someone with an Australian accent "where are you from" because they're not white is pretty racist.

    • RTX9090Ti on 08/02/2024 - 08:48

      Where are you from?

  • Benoffie on 07/02/2024 - 14:43
    +42

    Im as white as driven snow and get asked this constantly.

    A bit of cultural context. In Europe, and, in my cultural background of Ireland and Scotland, language wise there is no 'where do you come from?'

    Literally, in my language, 'cò às a tha thu' means 'who are your people?'

    It is standard and accepted practice to ask and answer this both within my culture and across cultures. Ive just got back from a stint in east and SEA and without fail, it was the 2nd or 3rd question asked each time.

    As an EALD teacher, when I teach new arrivals, I teach them the flow of conversation. That they will get asked this and that it isnt racist but merely a cultural norm accepted across many, many cultures. We then go out, practise the introduction skills they learn. Without fail, 2nd or 3rd question is 'where are you from?' Followed by 'how long have you been here?'

    There is no malice in this. When students understand this flow and partake in it, they are greeted with warm welcomes, advice and offers of help.

    Failing to engage in conversations and accepting banter for what it is (which is polite society) will only serve to ostracise.

      • Benoffie on 07/02/2024 - 14:59
        +8

        Yeah SA here too and its a very European thing, in my experience.

        Even the other day, talking with a German chippy doing my kitchen, same conversation:

        'So, whereabouts are you from?'
        'Down south, near Munich'
        'Oh, my Aunt is from that way, we have friends in Bern'
        'Ah! So do we!'

        And on and on it went.
        I was always taught - you dont talk to strangers about money, politics and religion (obviously randos on forums dont count) so what else are strangers meant to talk about?

        Are we to all revert to Austen and restrict our comments to the weather? 'The roads are awfully dry today' 🙄🤣🤣🤣

        • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 15:02
          -4

          Maybe I am overthinking it. But the thing is, I only get that kind of question from people that are 50+, Caucasian, Australian. I haven't been asked those kind of questions from people with an accent or people looking non Australian.

          • Benoffie on 07/02/2024 - 15:12
            +3

            @Scrooge McDeal: I think you might think that but I'll set you a challenge.

            If you're in Adelaide, when you next get a chance, go to Central Markets (if possible. If not, just sit in a cafe at your local shops for a bit).

            People watch. Listen to their conversations. Watch who is and, more importantly, isnt engaging with others.

            Community is really important. Especially in SA. It's not good enough to remove one's self from the community under the guise of racism simply because the community that exists isnt to one's liking.

            If I go to the Barossa for example, I know that to get along innthe community a level of German is necessary. The community use it to exclude outsiders. If you want yo live in the eastern suburbs, basics in Italian and Greek will get you far.

            It is not for me to say 'hey, you're racist because you're speaking Italian and asking me where Im from' (which they do, all the time).

            Thats simply life, especially in SA. It's a small town where the school you go to matters. Take some time and try and fit in.

            • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 15:15
              +1

              @Benoffie: Thanks, I will do. I always overthink things and like to analyze them. Maybe that's why I came to the assumption that the reason they are asking me it's because they are racist.

              • CurlCurl on 07/02/2024 - 16:14
                +6

                @Scrooge McDeal:

                are asking me it's because they are racist.

                RACIST is the most incorrectly used word in the dictionary.

                racist: adjective characterized by or showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

                "we are investigating complaints about racist abuse"

                Noun a person who is prejudiced against or antagonistic towards people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

                "he has been targeted by vicious racists online"

                • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 16:17

                  @CurlCurl: Which word would you use then? What would be correct in this instance?

                  • CurlCurl on 07/02/2024 - 17:06
                    +8

                    @Scrooge McDeal:

                    Which word would you use then? What would be correct in this instance?

                    Curious.

          • valuer on 07/02/2024 - 15:20
            +4

            @Scrooge McDeal: "Australian?"

            Did you ask about their citizenship? If not you are what you are accusing others of.

            A lot of Caucasian older folk weren't born in Australia. Try getting involved in their polite conversation and you might end up with a more positive outlook on life.

            • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 15:22
              +3

              @valuer: Thanks for the advice. I will take it onboard.

            • unison on 09/02/2024 - 14:00

              @valuer: I think the US has it pretty figured out. It's common to say you're "African American", "Mexican American" or "Chinese American". The first term refers to their ethnic background while the second refers to their nationality. And generally people see all of the aforementioned as US citizens regardless of skin complexion or facial features.

              • onetwothreefour on 10/02/2024 - 09:01

                @unison:

                I think the US has it pretty figured out.

                I don't think we should be looking up to the US when it comes to dealing with race.

          • ass3ts on 07/02/2024 - 15:59

            @Scrooge McDeal: Maybe because those people can already guess where you're from:)

          • brendanm on 07/02/2024 - 18:05

            @Scrooge McDeal: That's a pretty racist comment.

          • leiiv on 08/02/2024 - 10:55

            @Scrooge McDeal: It could probably just mean that those demographic feel the need of more social interactions, friendly talks, or it is just the way they were brought up.
            Do some analysis, what are the other customers (those with an accent or looking non-Australian) ask you about, if any at all?

      • CalmLemons on 07/02/2024 - 18:07
        +6

        People ask these things all the time.

        It's normal.

        I ask it of all races of people.

        It's just taught in language schools.

        It's just biological curiosity.

        They are questions that try to relate to other people.

        They are steps on how to build rapport build some sort of bridge.

        People like people who are similar or have similar interests to them.

        It's how things work.

        Racism doesn't come into play here.

      • ceroau on 08/02/2024 - 10:36
        +1

        That's because SA is tiny compared to the likes of say Sydney, and Yes I mean Sydney not New South wales because the entire state of South Australia, population wise is several times smaller than Greater Sydney. My guess is that A) More First generation European Immigrants or Australian with strong European Ancestry live in South Australia and B) Being smaller probably mean they're more invested in their community and they give more (profanity) about the average retail/hospitality worker.

        I personally wouldn't ask you that question not because I think it's racist is that I just don't give enough (profanity) about some random retail/hospitality worker to feign interest and make small talk. A lot of people in Sydney would feel the same. So I mean it's almost a compliment that they ask because it's their way of acknowledging you as a person.

  • Baysew on 07/02/2024 - 14:47
    +3

    Where does that accent is coming from?

    Scotland.

    • banana365 on 07/02/2024 - 16:48
      +1

      "Yeah, but which bit?" Which is a fair question to be honest as it can vary a lot in just a few miles. I'm from Edinburgh, but I just needed to look across the Forth to Fife to see a land inhabited by people that might as well be speaking a foreign language. I mean, Methil FFS!

      Mind you, I was asked if I was from Falkirk the other day. It's close by Australian standards, but not a mistake people would make in Scotland.

  • Gunnar on 07/02/2024 - 14:49
    +2

    Dam noisy people!

    • Skatez on 07/02/2024 - 14:54

      Scrooge change the poll option to nosy people if you can. I think that was what you meant.

  • xazark on 07/02/2024 - 14:54
    +2

    its just small talk… you have something interesting about you so ppl ask to carry the conversation…

  • Daniel Plainview on 07/02/2024 - 14:56
    +2

    It's just social clumsiness on their behalf - hard to generalise but I am sure most mean no harm and are just curious. But I can see that this would be disconcerting after a while but consider it a compliment of a type as people want to know about you.

    Whether you answer is clearly up to you - but I'd try not to let it mess with your mindset. Give them a quick answer and a smile and crack on, perhaps ask where they're from so they can see it's a two way street as unless aboriginal they're certainly not from these shores at some point. :-)

  • djkelly69 on 07/02/2024 - 14:57
    +1

    Without any real context, I imagine it is (a) small talk and (b) based mainly on race (ie. whatever qualities you have that make them think you are from another country).

    They probably would not ask the same questions of say a caucasian salesperson.

    But I am not convinced it is necessarily racism, because they are not intending to discriminate against, prejudice, antagonise, etc, you. It is likely just words coming out of their mouth without much or any thought.

    However I do appreciate that if every other customer asks this then it could certainly start to feel 'racist' to the receiver. I might rethink asking the question the next time it comes to me.

  • ihbh on 07/02/2024 - 14:58

    Are you a glass half full or glass half empty person?

    If someone commented: "Geez your English is good.", how would you feel, respond?

    …"Thanks!" or "So is yours mate"?

    • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 14:59

      Always it depends on the context. I am not a black or white guy. So it depends.

      • BOGOF on 07/02/2024 - 15:03
        +9

        I am not a black or white guy

        You are a duck.

      • McFly on 08/02/2024 - 14:43

        I am not a black or white guy.

        It don't matter.

  • ozbs25 on 07/02/2024 - 15:02
    +10

    I personally think it's a bit racist. But it does depend on how/when they ask I guess. When I was working at a charity it was the first thing one guy asked me. The first words out of his mouth to me weren't how are you, or hello or anything. It was "where are you from?"

  • pjetson on 07/02/2024 - 15:03

    I was at a booze bus stop a week or two ago, and it included a drug test, so it was a five-minute stop. I was making small talk with the policeman while we waited for the result, and I noticed that he had an unusual name, one that I couldn't even guess at the pronunciation of. I asked about his name. It seems that according to you, that makes me racist.

    The most common definition I can find seems to be that racism is showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against someone based on them being a particular racial or ethnic group. Asking about someone's name doesn't seem (to me anyway) to be any of those things.

  • GoldenDragon888 on 07/02/2024 - 15:09
    +3

    Heid-the-baw

  • Ghost47 on 07/02/2024 - 15:18
    +2

    Where are you from OP? Don't leave us hanging.

    • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 15:18
      -7

      That will remain a secret.

      • Ghost47 on 07/02/2024 - 15:19
        +4

        BoOoOoOoOoOoO!!!!

        • Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 15:19
          -3

          Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

          • Ghost47 on 07/02/2024 - 15:20
            +8

            @Scrooge McDeal: If it doesn't matter why won't you answer?

            • HamBoi69 on 07/02/2024 - 15:49
              +3

              @Ghost47: Easy to work out. BWS most likely. OP just needs to learn about small talk. At then end of the day no one cares. They’re just curious and will forget within 2 minutes of leaving. People don’t like silence so create conversation.

      • Ocker on 07/02/2024 - 15:29

        Grammar suggests the Asian sub continent.

        • HamBoi69 on 07/02/2024 - 15:49

          Or English isn’t his first language.

          • bargaino on 07/02/2024 - 16:23
            +2

            @HamBoi69: Duh! But the occasional errors are more specific than that, e.g. missed articles.
            And he posted a cricket deal, so that seals it :-)

            • HamBoi69 on 07/02/2024 - 16:32

              @bargaino: Don't worry. I've tried calling it out before and have been neg'd for doing so.

            • banana365 on 07/02/2024 - 16:51
              +2

              @bargaino: He's a Kiwi! English may sound like it's not their first language, but I was surprised to find that it is.

              • ak47wong on 08/02/2024 - 10:11
                -1

                @banana365: “Kiwi” is not a race. If he were a white NZer, he wouldn’t have mentioned race.

                • unison on 09/02/2024 - 14:07

                  @ak47wong: They were asking where he's from, meaning a geographic location not his ethnic background. And "Kiwi" refers to people from New Zealand and a perfectly valid answer.

                  • ak47wong on 09/02/2024 - 22:18

                    @unison: OP's whole post is whether the question is "racist". It's not just about geographically where someone is from.

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