R U OK OzBargainers? (2016)

Last Thursday, someone in my partner's family took their life. He was young and vibrant and you'd of never guessed anything was wrong. He was smart, funny, doing well in his career and well liked.

The hardest part is wondering if you could have done something to prevent it. Just said something, just spent more time.

Don't wait for a free call day. Ring someone who you haven't spoken to for a while. Your Mum or Dad, brother, sister, friend from school, a former job - just one person.

-toristo


R U OK?

R U OK? Day is an annual day in September (today, 8/9) dedicated to remind people to ask family, friends and colleagues the question, "R U OK?", in a meaningful way, because connecting regularly and meaningfully is one thing everyone can do to make a difference and even save lives.

Some may notice that we've used the same quote above as last years post. It's such a powerful story that it's worth mentioning again. It is part of why we are proud to support R U OK? Day by changing our colours and promoting their cause.

One of the biggest challenges to OzBargain and other community sites is promoting an environment where everyone feels comfortable commenting in deals and discussions. Given OzBargain is about scrutinizing deals in an open and honest environment, we can sometimes get negative comments that affect other users.

We should all recognise that our comments have consequences both positive and negative. People don't come here to be attacked or bullied. While some people may say suck it up and people should not be so sensitive, we should be aware that we don't truly know the people behind these accounts. Some are young, some may come to here to escape a tough reality, be mentally unbalanced, or they possibly could have thick skin. We just don't know. On the flip side, something as a simple gesture like thanking someone or sending a friendly PM can go a long way.

Ask family, friends and collegues (possibly utilizing free Virgin calls) how they are doing but don't forget to ask your family of OzBargainers how they are doing. We have forums where you can discuss relationships or anything else off-topic.

You can also feel free to chat with us in the private Talk with a Moderator forum if you have any OzBargain related issues. Or send me a PM about whatever you want (except moderation issues). Please see our Mental Health Page if you need to speak to someone including live chat.

For confidential advice and support call a crisis support line – such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

:)

Related Stores

R U OK? Day
R U OK? Day

Comments

      • Thanks.

  • Excellent theme and coverage of a really important topic. Make sure you ask someone today.

  • +1

    Nope and there's not a god damned thing you can do about it either.
    Refusal of assistance by professionals upon more than one occasion, for demonstrating the fallacy of their arguments results in that.

    TL DR version would be the mental health profession in Australia is a crock of shit!

    • +6

      Someone I know is alive, and making very slow recovery because of a few really compassionate mental health professionals, who offer service pro-bono, after the free sessions were exhausted. You do find good ones who go beyond the call of duty, who really care for their patients.

      • +1

        They must be few and far between, as I'm yet to meet one and I've tried multiple.

        • What did they say exactly, when they tossed you aside?

        • @outlander:
          Two examples.

          1. I was traumatising the undergraduates in a group session.

          It was me, their professor and them.
          2. She felt a need for a "change" in career direction, left her practice and went to take up a position as Clinical Psychologist; STARTTS Direct Services Coordinator at South Western Sydney LHN and Sydney LHN, which is the same damned field she was working in!

          Satiate your curiosity?

        • @086:

          No. I'm afraid that, my good man, is a well, that never runs dry

          I wonder though, what exact words a psychologist might use, to 'break up' with a patient? Given the nature of the work you'd imagine it would be put as delicately as possible, right?

    • You sound like a lover of Xenu…

      • You would be wrong!

        • That's whyI said like!

        • @McFly:
          Yes you're technically as correct as my interpretation.
          We're both right, depending desired context.

    • +3

      What did/do you need help with?

      • +1

        @Scrooge McDuck
        Life!
        Starting with why I should bother, to be candid with you.

        • +1

          Probably because your life contains many enjoyable aspects and the prospects for many more.

          You're already very fortunate to live in Australia.

          From your comments it seems you can type well and drive a car. Others who have challenges with those two tasks and many more are able to live enjoyable lives.

        • +1

          @Scrooge McDuck:
          I feel that you are over estimatiing the enjoyment factor on my life.

        • +1

          @086:

          That's possible, but unlikely. Could you be overly vexing over your challenges?

          Do you enjoy food, drink, bargains, music, film, TV, comedy, reading, learning, earning, travel, helping others, giving, sex, sport, driving, hobbies, etc?

        • @Scrooge McDuck:
          While some are necessities in life, or exist out of obligation,others are not a given, thus I would not or no longer know…

        • @086:

          But do you enjoy the ones you do experience?

        • @Scrooge McDuck:
          No, they're vices if anything, utilised to try and drown the vast void, the vacuum of darkness.

        • @086:

          Why is enjoyment a vice?

          How can a void be drowned? Couldn't a void be filled with positive experiences?

        • +1
  • +4

    Applaud to Ozbargain, Fellow OzBargainers, R U OK? ^_^

  • +1
  • +1

    NO, I'm not ok, I'm going to give in to Despair !!

    • +2

      Awesome, it'll be nice to have some company for a change

      You like dogs?

      • This made me LOL

  • +10

    No this isn't a casual question you should ask a stranger on the Internet. Don't ask unless you're prepared to help the person you're asking if they say they're not. This whole thing is out of hand.

    • Thank you

    • +3

      I'm sure some on OzBargain would be willing to help if someone was really in need, though I believe this particular post more serves as an announcement encouraging users to reach out and ask if their friends and family are OK.

    • +3

      If you are going to ask anyone either in real life (friend, family, etc.) or online, then make sure you do so in a meaningful way. Check out R U OK?'s guide to how to ask.

      Strangers? Probably Not. Friends you've made on a website? Yes. There is nothing to lose by having a conversation whereas there is lots to lose by not.

    • +1

      …not to mention that the whole thing could backfire if you do it on the day, and your friend thinks you only thought of them as some poor soul in need of help, and only as part of some outreach campaign.

      It's a great awareness thing, but needs to be done with real care.

    • +3

      I got really shitty when that blogger Constance Hall posted on her fb page asking "RU Okay" … and then replied to NO ONE. Over a thousand comments and she didn't give a single reply. Not cool to ask that question and then have someone bare their soul only to get nothing back.

  • R U OK

    Spelling…

  • +1

    The wiki is still orange…

  • +4

    Are you ok, Annie?

    • +1

      …but you're Travis?
      But you're Okay!
      Yeay :D

      Misheard lyrics, Smooth Criminal

  • +2

    You guys being sponsored by jb Hi-Fi now?

    • +5

      Nah, Dick Smith.

      • +1

        Dick Smith / Kogan

        • Kogan Hi-Dick

  • +2

    I'm not sure how common it is for small employers, but every medium / large business I've ever worked for has had an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) which you can call 24/7 and is confidential.

    The provider / phone number varies for each company, so check your company's intranet or similar information source.

    Just another option available for many people, which they might not be aware of.

    • I think from what I've seen people are too scared to use them. If you let someone attached to your job know you're having mental health issues that creates a conflict of interest. If there is a chance of harm they're required to report it. A genuinely run EAP program certainly has it's place, but suicide prevention is HARD and not something that can be tackled casual or as an also ran.

  • +2

    I keep getting negged on Ozb not sure if i am ok.

    Inb4 negged

    • +2

      It's probably just a jolly fat person who intended to press the green button. :)

  • No.

    Where is my eBay 15% site wide coupon this year plus cash rewards 4.5%….

    Good old days….

    • 20%!!!!!!

  • r u all OK … if yes, then happy deal hunting !!

  • The theme made me lol because I work for JB and now I feel like I should get back to work =P.
    I am all for RUOK day everyone feels down sometimes and if it can save a life by asking a question, then hell why not ask everyone!

  • +4

    You can't just leave it at r u OK? If you think something is wrong, ppl will just say yes I'm going fine.

    R u OK day is really about going further than r u OK, it's a catalyst.

    • +1

      We should probably avoid generic sounding questions.

      Not everyone is a literalist.

      eg

      *How are you Scrooge?*

      "I'm very well thank you, how are you?"

      vs

      "I went overboard with that unlimited pizza deal and now I have a food baby. :["

  • +4

    R U OK Apple??? cuz your air pod looks like my 3 year old ear pod w/o the wire

  • +2

    How come nobody calls me yet

    • +2

      Because your name is fm. If it was fml, you'll get get a call.

    • Calling fm calling fm repeat calling fm do you copy

  • +1

    R U OK????!?!??!

  • +1

    Now I'm getting diploma of counselling advertisements, thanks OzBargain…

    That aside, hope everyone's doing alright!

  • +1

    should be asked everyday and not only once a year… :)

  • +4

    No im not ok i always feel sick i have anxiety and feel down at times. I do like going on this site if theres any bargains worth it for me.

    • +2

      Have you discussed that with a GP?

    • +1

      Relax more mate and don't put so much pressure on your self, time has a funny way sorting things out :).

    • Please see my comment. The tips to manage stress and anxiety and relaxation techniques articles might be helpful to you. And this too.

  • -1

    I would be a lot better if people used real words instead of letters!!!

    I can't stand it anymore.

    ARE

    YOU

    OK!

    • +3

      Any reason why you have an exclamation mark at the end of OK instead of a question mark?

      • yes, it's because I'm not ok.

    • Your question seems a bit rhetorical…

  • +1

    im chill. built a table top arcade machine recently, with no woodworking/painting knowledge. i went all out and spent about 300-400 on it.

    i then calculated up costs for another cheaper version and can build one for $110. ozb'd maybe i should make a post on here telling people the costs, what to order, what guides to follow when making it.

    • I'd be interested. Wouldnt mind having one for a coffee table.

    • Keen to see your build. I already have a Raspberry Pi with retropie; it would be cool to build it into a gaming table.

    • +1

      will definitely make a thread about it soon. my buttons are still arriving from china so they wont be here for awhile :(

  • +5

    This can all be solved if we had a 35hr week

    • You can often negotiate one if you're willing to give up a surprisingly small amount of your salary (like, not even your hourly rate times number of hours less per week)

      Often bosses feel they can give more leeway on hours than dollars (their bosses know salaries and dept budgets, but don't notice that you're not there 8-6 every day).

  • i guess its not asked enough. but are you OK?

  • +1

    I'm still stoked from getting cheap flights to Mauritius yesterday, so I'm better than OK. Are you?

    • Will you still be OK when your credit card bill comes in?

  • +10

    It's great to ask "R U OK" but,

    Are you prepared to hear "NO"?
    What can you offer if the answer is NO?

    Some food for thought…

    • +7

      Sometimes the willingness to listen to someone's problems goes a long way to making them not feel isolated and uncared for. And that's without even offering help.

      • +5

        This.

        just listening to someone, without interrupting, without trying to tell them "I understand". Just ask R U OK, listen to them, give some encouragement, give them the Beyond blue and mental health triage numbers, suggest that they talk to a GP. Be supportive.

    • +7

      I asked my dog and got a bark + lick in the face

  • +1

    I am superrr OK, thanks for asking

  • +3

    Spare a thought for the kids at school getting bullied on a regular basis. Its a very tough lot for them. If you know a child who's been affected by bullying try and reach out. And watch this:-

    http://www.sbs.com.au/news/thefeed/article/2016/08/30/breaki…

  • Loving the theme, and whilst I know this is a serious issue… I can't help but think they should use KoF's Terry Bogard as a mascot…

  • +5

    I'd like to use this opportunity to remind everyone reading that humans are social creatures and we didn't evolve to live solitary lives, inside or at a console.

    So if you haven't had a substantial face-to-face conversation with another human for a while, see what your friends and/or family are up to. Failing that, most major shopping centres will have a few charity muggersfundraisers you can indulge in conversation for a few minutes. Getting out to a park or reserve for some sunshine and fresher air can be beneficial too.

    :)

    • +1

      Sorry, but only socially aspiring people have a problem with solitude. Plenty of recluses buying wilderness, getting sunshine and travelling solo for the tired and condescending mum's basement stereotype to hold. Herd animals might get depressed alone, but not all people aspire that way. Many 'social' people might like the anthropomorphised cuteness of a wheelbarrow full of orang-utans when they, by natural choice, are solitary creatures. Anyhow, connecting solitary lives with a lack of sunshine or fresh air is pretty myopic, mmkay. They just instablog hashtag about it less.

  • +2

    Fck no, I'm not rich enough to not use this website. GG OP

  • +8

    This is great, thanks Ozbargain.

    Started seeing a new psych last week and I feel good about it. Working each day to improve my self esteem and practice techniques to live with anxiety problems.

    Hope everybody is doing well, and remember to go have a chat to your GP or somebody you trust if you're feeling shitty.

    • +1

      Good to hear dude, keep up the good work :)

  • Great job ozbargain. Keep it up.

  • +1

    made this while procrastinating. no i'm not ok: http://imgur.com/a/lyka3

    • +1

      Hey, if you are really not ok, make sure you reach out for help.

  • +5

    Don't underestimate exercise!

    • +1

      is there a deal on exercise?

      • +1

        20% off*

        * your waistline, rejections from the opposite sex, daily feelings of fatigue, depression, chance of Alzheimers, cancer, heart disease, etc, with every 2 hours of exercise performed per week

        • +1

          Lol, very good!

  • aside from the funny comments, if I say NO are anyone here willing to help?

    • +3

      We can lend an ear and offer some suggestions for a direction, yes.

  • +4

    No I'm not ok with missing out on bargains often!!

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