R U OK OzBargainers? (2017)

neil on 14/09/2017 - 00:00
Last edited 14/09/2017 - 16:43

From knowing heaps of depressed people and people who cut themselves to feel good, I can say for certain their lives get better.
There are ups and downs for everyone in life and suicide is NEVER a solution.

thelastnoob

This is great, had a friend commit suicide recently. Glad to see Ozbargain putting out the awareness

engineeringprof

started seeing a psychologist this week after thoughts of suicide. It's been hard but its helping and it's FREEE if you are a uni student (perhaps this can be posted into Freebies section haha)

Anyone who's feeling down, don't give up. Seek help because it gets better.

lakers1222

These are just a few comments from last year.

R U OK?

R U OK? Day is an annual day in September (today, 14/9) dedicated to remind people to ask family, friends and colleagues the question, "R U OK?", in a meaningful way, because connecting regularly and meaningfully is one thing everyone can do to make a difference and even save lives.

The comments we received last year plus all the PMs we received are part of why we are proud to support R U OK? Day by changing our colours and promoting their cause.

One of the biggest challenges to OzBargain and other online community sites is promoting an environment where everyone feels comfortable commenting in deals and discussions. Given OzBargain is about scrutinizing deals in an open and honest environment, we can sometimes get negative comments that affect other users.

We should all recognise that our comments have consequences both positive and negative. People don't come here to be attacked or bullied. While some people may say suck it up and people should not be so sensitive, we should be aware that we don't truly know the people behind these accounts. Some are young, some may come to here to escape a tough reality, be mentally unbalanced, or they possibly could have thick skin. We just don't know. On the flip side, something as a simple gesture like thanking someone or sending a friendly PM can go a long way. At the beginning of the year, we made a post about contributing to a more positive OzBargain environment and we've had some great results changing some users behaviour by thinking about the impacts of their words.

Ask family, friends and colleagues how they are doing but don't forget to ask your family of OzBargainers how they are doing. We have forums where you can discuss relationships or anything else off-topic.

You can also feel free to chat with us in the private Talk with a Moderator forum if you have any OzBargain related issues. Or send me a PM about whatever you want (except moderation issues). Please see our Mental Health Page if you need to speak to someone including live chat.

For confidential advice and support call a crisis support line – such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

:)

I'm overseas ATM so won't be able to respond immediately to messages

Site Discussion R U OK? Day

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R U OK? Day
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Comments

    • [Deactivated] on 14/09/2017 - 08:32
      +8

      i see what you did there.

    • stonkered on 15/09/2017 - 09:52
      +1

      You gave him permission to clean so stop carrying on :D

  • Slippage on 14/09/2017 - 08:11
    +58

    I hate this day, I really do. and here is why.

    Every year it comes around and we are encouraged to start a conversation with someone, ask them if they are OK and do so in a meaningful way. But what it ends up been is a bunch of senior leaders (at work), sending out an email with the usual "my door is always open" BS. Because you know….a pleb 3+ levels down, walking into an executives office to talk about mental health problems, isn't career suicide.

    But then we have the inevitable morning tea, usually put on by the biggest bully in the office, in an effort to make it look like she's an OK person. Speaking with many people in my organisation and it always the same: "I don't want the responsibility of someone asking me for help", so to wash their hands, they suggest people go see a councillor/psychologist/EAP, dust their hands and give them selves a pat on the back. They will follow this up by telling others in the team to take care around that person, because they have issues. Again, it's career suicide.

    And then you will always have atleast one person that says they aren't ok, but it will be something like
    - I ran out of full cream milk today, had to use light
    - My avocado wasn't quite ripe
    - i'll be OK once my free cat food from PINCHme arrives

    So the result is R U OK day turning into nothing more than a few extra emails to mark as read and a lame morning tea with the usual selection of cakes, crackers and cheeses. For someone that is suffering (and quite badly) with multiple issues, I find it patronising.

    But I will say, I've read more sincerity in this thread, than i have in 15 years of corporate environment. I visit OzBargain at least daily, as I find shopping helps my mood and a bargain just makes it even better. Don't know why, but ordering a: Toolpro Screwdriver Set - 8 in 1 for $1.60, to sit in my desk at work, on the off chance that I or someone else may need them one day, is more rewarding then sitting with a psychologist for an hour, talking about how life isn't all it's made out to be followed by a $200 bill and a recommendation to "take more time out for yourself"….

    • [Deactivated] on 14/09/2017 - 08:33
      +10

      I'm gonna hug you now.

    • Blitzfx on 14/09/2017 - 08:42
      +9

      I kind of agree as well. I hate how this is run, but I can appreciate the sincere attempts at helping those in need. Those small complaints you mentioned are usually how the discussion starts. People aren't going to suddenly open up to colleagues or strangers about their personal life, which is what depression inherently is.

      My friend's partner in her mid 20's decided to kill herself about 2 weeks ago and she had everything going for her. Even with my friend there to help her and be someone to talk to, she still decided to go ahead with it.
      If it's uncomfortable talking about it with close family and friends, what makes people think they'll talk about it with strangers?
      There's still a stigma about suicide & depression and that needs to be addressed correctly. People are aware it exists but don't realise it doesn't just go away.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 14/09/2017 - 14:24
        +1

        How is your friend coping with that? Do they have supportive people around them?

        • Blitzfx on 14/09/2017 - 15:52
          +1

          He seems to be doing okay, I think. I try and hang out with him whenever I can and all that. There isn't really much you can say to someone in that situation. Keeping someone occupied / distracted while grieving seems to be the safest way to go about returning to a normal life from my experience.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 14/09/2017 - 16:00
          +1

          @Blitzfx:

          Does he know that you're there for him compassionately when he needs to share?

    • aaronaldo on 14/09/2017 - 09:09
      +12

      You write very well if that helps. I enjoyed reading your post.

      • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:11

        Considering i was a straight A student, with the exception of English (or "language" as it was while i was at school), I always worry with writing. I will sit on an email that has some weight to it and read, re-read, re-type, repeat 3-4 times, then send it.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 15/09/2017 - 10:19

          You could try concerning yourself with maximising efficiency rather than perfection.

          e.g. 95 % in 5 min > 99 % in 30 min

    • j05h on 14/09/2017 - 09:19
      +5

      I think one of the big parts of R U OK day is simply a reminder to check in with the people close to you (and who will open up to you). While organisations and workplaces will run various events, I think the intention of it is good.

      I have a very close friend who was recently diagnosed with severe depression. It made me think - I know him so well but didn't pick up on it. I suppose it is the continual smaller changes over a period of time (which really amount to big changes) that we don't pick up in those close to us. So with my friend, he is very reserved and while I now see some changes in his behaviour I also never had the conversation of "how are you feeling?", "how is life for you at the moment", or even just "you happy or sad today". Seems so superficial but I for one don't do it. Is it a male thing that we feel the need to pump up the ego rather than have a heart-to-heart discussion?

      Am I a bad person for it? I don't know. But I do think that while it isn't the perfect way of doing what it intends, hopefully R U OK day can open up some conversations for people so they know they are not alone.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 14/09/2017 - 14:35
        +3

        Is it a male thing that we feel the need to pump up the ego rather than have a heart-to-heart discussion?

        Men are supposed to be confident, stoical and unfeeling. Showing their vulnerabilities debases them to weak, incapable and unattractive to many people. :[

      • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:20

        I think people put on a brave face, because they have to.

        I remember the first time I told someone that I thought I was depressed. The response was "don't be one of those people, they never get better". The next time it was "I know what you mean, I was depressed once, but then i decided not to be and now i'm fine" and then finally "there are starving children in Africa…. you have it easy".

        For me, having a heart to heart is not the same as it is for others. If someone (including my wife or close friends) were to come to me and ask me directly, I wouldn't share. I hate been put on the spot like that. But if we were relaxing at a camp site with an open fire going, i'd probably spill my beans.

    • R-Man on 14/09/2017 - 09:30
      +4

      Well written post mate. You're completely right, this day's treatment in the office is mostly garbage.

      But I agree with what Josh said above:

      I think one of the big parts of R U OK day is simply a reminder to check in with the people close to you (and who will open up to you).

      Yeah you dont have to walk up to the executive manager and chat but at least the day reminds you to chat to your mates, siblings, close coworkers, parents etc

    • [Deactivated] on 14/09/2017 - 09:32
      +10

      Two-times suicide attempt survivor here, now a long way away from those dark times. The main issue I'd find that until you've been in that dark place, you don't really know what it's like, and no matter your good intentions there is a barrier of experience between those who suffer mental issues or depression, and the rest of society. Putting aside some people who will abuse any kind of people-focused initiative, there are many people who do want to help or would want to talk with you, but don't know how to go about it. At the very, very least, the RUOk initiative will help some people who wouldn't otherwise start conversations, and I have no doubt that it reduces suffering and very likely saves lives. I am extremely cynical in nature, but I realise a lot of this is on my side, and I need to give other people, especially those who want to do the right thing to help people but feel a bit awkward or hesitant about it, the benefit of the doubt.

      I'm a member of a number of different on-line communities, like everyone else here, and OzBargain is one of the best, if not THE best. Long may it continue!

    • Karlos101 on 14/09/2017 - 10:08
      +8

      you hit the nail on the head for how i feel in my work environment. im scared to speak up about my mental health to the appropriate department for fear of being seen as a liability, and i cant afford financially to lose my job as i wouldnt get the pay im getting now, anywhere else. but, because of my mental health, my job suffers and so my performance drops and im committing career suicide that way too. hip-f*king-hooray.

      one thing i will say, if you havnt seen a psychologist before, its definitely worth a try, and if you dont like the one you had, try a couple of different ones, they arent all the same.

      good luck!

      • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:26

        I've seen many psychologist's, unfortunately I find that I know exactly what they want to hear, so I'm there for their benefit, not my own (I can see that, but can't change how i act in the environment).

    • frewer on 14/09/2017 - 15:19

      At least you have crackers + cheese, pleb like me dont get anything, just work work work. Oh well sympathy isn't something can be taught … especially to old dog …

      I dont like this day for a similar reason. One 'pretending' to be nice day, many other days they being an a****** coz it's fun or Idc or not my problem. It's a crap day to be at work surrounding by pretenders.

      • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:27

        We pay for the nibbles, someone will come to your desk and god help you if you don't have a "gold coin donation" to contribute…

        I think that's it, don't fake it.. stop pretending like you know what it's like to be in my shoes!

    • StingyBritches on 14/09/2017 - 16:35

      Slippage, I have to agree. It almost sounds like you work in a Public Service office. Almost? EXACTLY!

      Anyway… great to see the true spirit of the OzB community showing here. Great bunch of people. I'm proud to be a member.

      • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:29

        Surely do! Worked in state and federal and both environments are the same..

        I honestly feel this isn't the environment to be in, if you are suffering from these things. But until I find a job that pays as well, it will be my cell.

    • Hahuh on 15/09/2017 - 15:35

      Please write a book

  • T1OOO on 14/09/2017 - 08:23

    i am not OK, i need more bargains to throw my money at please!!!

  • try2bhelpful on 14/09/2017 - 08:34
    +2

    RUOK extends to how you treat those around you. If you are manipulative, aggressive, bullying or violent you are not OK and you need help. Just read about a guy in Texas who didn't accept his ex wife had got on with her life and massacred 8 people including her; this guy needed intervention before it got to this point. Threatening violence should warrant an immediate intervention by the cops, too many cases like this (maybe not as extreme but people die).

    I always had a philosophy with my job. When it got tough I would mentally quit, then I would work out how to go forward. Life can be very tough and there is no shame in seeking help.

  • bottletop on 14/09/2017 - 08:36
    +2

    This is a great initiative but does anyone have any advice on what to do when someone is not OK but they refuse to get professional help?

    • Karlos101 on 14/09/2017 - 14:49

      do you know what their reasons for not wanting professional help are?

      • sky blu on 14/09/2017 - 15:15
        +1

        Financial burden and the inherent reservations of seeing a complete stranger.

        • Cal13x on 14/09/2017 - 22:40

          the inherent reservations of seeing a complete stranger.

          Any idea how to fix this?

        • sky blu on 14/09/2017 - 22:51
          +1

          @Cal13x: Wouldn't be depressed if I knew otherwise.

      • bottletop on 14/09/2017 - 17:19

        Stubbornness and not believing they can be helped. (Psychology only works on those who want to be helped).

        • zwolf on 14/09/2017 - 23:39

          Wanting help, and believing oneself beyond help, are pretty contradictory though..
          Source: there.

        • Karlos101 on 15/09/2017 - 10:11
          +4

          i was in that boat for many years, not wanting to get help because it meant admitting i had issues and that i wasnt strong enough to deal with my brokeness. i got to a point where if i didnt have a partner at the time, suicide was going to be the next logical choice for me. thats when i knew i needed to seek professional help.
          the other thing can also be, not believing you are worth being helped due to low self value and esteem.
          the only thing i think you can do is speak gentle encouragement and reassurance to the person. maybe even see a psychologist yourself to get some tools. or, offer to go with the person for the first couple of sessions as support. do some research so you have some fact based 'ammo' to counteract some of the arguments they might throw at you.
          once they land in a place of bitterness though, it can be very hard.
          try calling a local psychologist or ask a GP if they have recommendations for psychologists that deal with specific issues relating to your friend, better than others.
          dont give up on your friend though, it was my girlfriend's love for me that kept me going and got me to a place of seeking help when i did. and i was painful to be around at the time, but she didnt give up on me. i will always be thankful for that.

      • anastasiastarz on 15/09/2017 - 01:24

        I have an ex-friend like that. He was comfortable being the way he was, and was only offending himself and those directly around him. For those who are used to being the way they are, there is a safety in being like that, in that people don't expect things from you.

    • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:34

      For me, it took the death of a friend (result of a failed surgery, not suicide) that I worked with, that resulted in mandated EAP participation. I had the choice of group session or individual.

      It was made known that for the individual session, you would be able to sit there and not say anything, if that was your choice. I made that choice but after 5 minutes sitting in a room alone with someone that didn't know me at all and was here solely to answer any question about anything i had to say, I opened up. I then went and spoke to a new GP as i felt I didn't trust my current one.

  • iforgotmysocks on 14/09/2017 - 08:39
    +2

    No, I am iforgotmysocks

  • [Deactivated] on 14/09/2017 - 08:44
    +3

    Maybe we need "smile at a stranger" day?

    • Scrooge McDuck on 14/09/2017 - 15:02
      +1

      That's everyday!

      Just as this should be. :)

    • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:35

      100%

      My mood is very dependent on those around me.

  • Godric on 14/09/2017 - 08:50
    +1

    I need more $ to purchase bargains so no am not ok : (

  • smux on 14/09/2017 - 08:52

    Man's search for meaning

    • stonkered on 14/09/2017 - 18:02

      prithee, my dear,
      why are we here
      nobody knows
      we go to sleep
      as breathing flows
      my mind secedes
      i bleed

  • driver33b on 14/09/2017 - 08:53

    I have slept with the BLACK DOG for 46 years, unfortunately I always say 'yep, I'm good'…there is no way I'm gonna burden others with my problems. ;)

    • MessyG on 14/09/2017 - 14:43
      +7

      You know, relationships are reciprocal - you might see it as a burden to tell someone, but to another person they might see it as a privilege you're telling them and would find it an honor to listen. Sometimes hard to tell who that is though when you're down in it. I hope you come through it.

    • Karlos101 on 14/09/2017 - 10:01
      +1

      dude? why be like that?

      • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 10:16
        -4

        Because charities ARE A SCAM. AND THIS IS JUST ANOTHER AD RHAT SHOULD BE TREATED NO DIFFEEENTLY TO ANY OTHER ADVERTISEMENT.

        AND PEOPLE HAVE TRADITIONALLY TAKEN CARE OF EACH OTHER WITHOUT CORPORATIONS INTENT ON RAKING IN DONATIONS FOR THEIR SCAMS, MAKING A SPECIAL DAY FOR THEIR SCAMS AND PRETENDING TO 'CARE'.

        • Karlos101 on 14/09/2017 - 10:21
          +3

          thats all well and good, but you can clearly see the tone of the comments in this thread, and can see their are genuine people trying to reach out to each other, with nothing to do with R U OK as an enterprise. so why be all venomous here, when you can see people trying to reach out to each other. if you want to slander, go start another forum thread. just dont bring it in here.

        • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 10:24

          @Karlos101:
          They can do that at any time..without this obnoxious ad to remind them and without generating traffic for their so-called cause.

        • Karlos101 on 14/09/2017 - 10:45
          +1

          @cheepwun: but they dont do it any time, and this add has actually encouraged healthy conversation and support. so if it has has encouraged healthy, helpful conversation, go slander it elsewhere rather than here.

        • Your Friend on 14/09/2017 - 12:42

          agreed mate

        • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 13:49
          -1

          @Karlos101:
          If it takes a millions-earning corporate parasite to remind you to take care of others, something is seriously wrong somewhere.

          And as usual those speaking truths a 'slanderous', not the parasites preying on the emotions of the public to rake in more donations with their 99.999% marketing operations, for the massive personal gains of the few.

    • boomramada on 14/09/2017 - 10:58
      +1

      I just + your comment, just because you aren't seem to be OK.
      Maybe have a read through this https://www.ruok.org.au/what-were-about while having a break from bargain hunting.
      Hopefully you are ok after reading this.

      • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 14:20
        +1

        Maybe you can stop believing the feel-good PR vomit spewed forth from an overpaid marketing team and follow the money. Only token amounts go where they say…enough to generate good PR.

        Follow the money then we'll talk. But I appreciate you saying I'm not OK. I also wasn't born yesterday and know how these marketing operarions run, so the gullibility disappeared a long time ago. Maybe I need some from you.

        How much was paid to advertise here? None of my business of course….in fact nobody should question 'good' causes…or the financial motives of the directors of 'good' causes. Instead, we should all 'care' like the loving corporations who have gobs of markerting budget to manipulate the public's trust for their nice little earner.

        • boomramada on 14/09/2017 - 14:34
          +2

          It would be pointless to explain to you, yes this is about feel good movement, mainly for people who involved in depression.
          Depression is silent but deadly.
          See how many conversations started in this thread alone? because of the campaign. Campaigns like this maybe not work withing organisations but surely works well in forms like this.

          Yes, I know, some campaigns are money grabbing, but sometimes nothing get done without money.

        • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 14:41
          -2

          @boomramada:

          We don't need more charity scams. They are low value, high-marketing ripoffs. As is the ugly ad campaign today on ozbargain, which we probably will never know the financial terms of…

          Depressing indeed. Don't donate. Don't participate.

        • boomramada on 14/09/2017 - 14:42

          @cheepwun:
          I give up, hope you are ok :)

        • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 14:47

          @boomramada:
          Nope, not ok. Need a cushy management job in a charity with huge marketing budget.

    • Moderatorhamza23 on 14/09/2017 - 14:47

      How much was paid to run this stupid advertisement on here?

      How much was paid to advertise here? None of my business of course

      Ugly ad campaign today on ozbargain, which we probably will never know the financial terms of

      US $0 (~AU $0)

      This has been covered before, but we don't have sponsored posts, paid for posts/content or anything of the sort. OzBargain members aren't exposed to any type of advertisement or paid for content (unless they have ads turned on in their settings). OzBargain is funded mostly by ads shown to guests, this is disclosed.

      Please feel free to contact us in the future should you have any questions.

      Thanks

      • dfaktz on 14/09/2017 - 18:54
        +1

        A 1:1 USD to AUD conversion rate? This really is a good day!

      • cheepwun on 21/09/2017 - 14:51
        -2

        zero monetary / gift / perks or other incentives to change the whole look of the site for a day and advertise this charity? I find that extremely hard to believe. For one,this is worth a lot to the charity.

        • PJC on 21/09/2017 - 18:08

          This is an excellent annual initiative by OzBargain. It is very easy to assume a Member is generally OK and it is indeed sobering to observe how many are not. Sometimes it requires a really enormous chunk of courage to admit that! Admission can be the first step towards a better outlook.

        • cheepwun on 24/09/2017 - 08:46
          -1

          @PJC:
          Yes, I'm sure this 'initiative' giving untold exposure to a charity on a site that is as popular as OzBargain is being done purely for no financial incentives whatsoever and that anyone who believes otherwise is clearly 'not OK'.

        • Baysew on 24/09/2017 - 15:19

          @cheepwun: OzBargain may not be a suitable site for you.

        • PJC on 24/09/2017 - 16:57

          @cheepwun: OzBargain donates thousands of dollars to several charities each year. We are consulted about which charities should receive, even though I have not knowingly contributed 1c towards yet another excellent annual initiative.

        • cheepwun on 25/09/2017 - 13:04
          -3

          @Baysew:
          this is not a bargain & has nothing to do with 'care' so I'd say this rubbish is not suitable for OzBargain. Obviously someone is benefiting by changing the whole site for a day but we sure aren't being told.

          Instead we are being fed lovey-feely manipulative BS that Edward Bernays would be proud of.

        • Moderatorhamza23 on 26/09/2017 - 01:21

          @cheepwun:

          Obviously someone is benefiting by changing the whole site for a day but we sure aren't being told.

          You are wrong, sorry.

          I have clearly stated that OzBargain has not received any type of incentive to change the theme earlier, please contact the charity directly for confirmation of that if you wish.

          I understand that you have issues with charities or how other businesses conduct themselves, however I would hope that after being a member here for 6 years you would be familiar with how we run the site and would at least take our word when we answered the doubts you had.

          Unfortunately you appear to have ignored our previous declaration and continued to spread false information based on misconstrued beliefs. Let's not continue that.

          Thank you

        • cheepwun on 26/09/2017 - 09:19
          -3

          @hamza23:
          So the OzBargain business has tax incentives to give money to these crooks, then? That and building a fake 'good citizen' image that everyone likes to do.

  • singlemalt72 on 14/09/2017 - 09:08
    +9

    I am great (at this moment in time) - I have had severe depression in the past but no matter how bad things were I managed my way through it. I'm probably not the best example because I tend to manage my own mental problems, after an early scare with medication I found that it wasn't the path for me.

    But life is good, apart from a little anxiety from time to time, but the black dog is muzzled and doesn't trouble me too much these days.

    • ozbjunkie on 14/09/2017 - 15:08
      +1

      Well done and thanks for sharing.

    • Wystri Warrick on 14/09/2017 - 19:53
      +3

      apart from a little anxiety from time to time

      Hug :)

  • AJW on 14/09/2017 - 09:15
    +2

    Thanks OzB

  • Pizdets on 14/09/2017 - 09:49

    A mate commited suicide last year and left behind a wife and 3 kids. Youngest being 3 months old. I still think hes a c**t.

    • ozbjunkie on 14/09/2017 - 14:56
      +9

      Bad decision on his part - but try to understand just how much desperation and pain someone must feel before they leave their wife and kids behind.

      No disrespect to you either.

      • stonkered on 14/09/2017 - 18:26
        +2

        Exactly, just demonstrates the state he must have been in, very sad all round.

    • Slippage on 15/09/2017 - 10:43
      +2

      It's very difficult to see why someone would do something like that. Try to understand the pressure they were under, that they took this option.

      I was in a financially desperate point in my life and was looking like i could not provide for my family. I was told i was insufferable to be around and my wife was thinking of leaving me (she didn't say this, but i knew). I knew if she did, she would move back "home" and I would never see my kids face to face (or very sparingly) and finances would be even tighter.

      Then I would look over and see my life insurance value, which lets just say would set my children up for life…

      It was a very dark time for me, but that genuinely looks like the best scenario for me as a "provider"

  • Karlos101 on 14/09/2017 - 09:52
    +1

    glad to see mental health being acknowledged and people taking R U OK? seriously. all the best to those having a shite time in life right now. keep putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. time does heal wounds, but getting the right help is also very important and can take a lot of the strain out of it. if you are not sure where to turn next, this seems like the best place to ask, do yourself a favour and ask for help in this non-judgmental environment.

  • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 10:10
    -4

    Yet more Sheeple unaware that charity directors run the biggest money-earning scams….and this ad has been paid-for to get more sheeple donating. Just like any other ad or transaction.

    You don't need another scam central organisation siphoning off your funds for so-called good causes…you can take care of yourself and your loved ones without their scams. Every financial interest makes a special day devoted to their scams, while their directors rake it in, laughing at the trust of the gullible public. Corporations donate to such causes to buy a better image in the eyes of the gullible public and have tax reasons for doing so.

    All of it is self-interest. Your money is far, far better spent at home. Scam charities will give you the same results for your money as the gov currently does. Which is to say: only token amounts going where you expect….and the rest used to line the pockets of the directors running the show.

    This is an ad, like any other. Don't treat chariries any different to any other corporation. Ready for more ignorant (and vested interest) downvotes.

    • THICKnSLOW on 14/09/2017 - 10:25
      +3

      Well, it pays to run background checks of charities you intend to donate to, to make an informed decision.

      Did you watch the ABC Australian Story of the creator behind RUOK Day? Quite interesting story, tinged with emotional elements but the surviving family is doing really well because they are considerably well off due to the father being good at what he did. IF the family was in a less financially secure position, I doubt the story would have such a rose-coloured-glass ending.

      • cheepwun on 14/09/2017 - 10:39
        -2

        I don't care for any charity's manipulative emotionally-charged PR ad.

        Are people so stupid to think that some central org is going to spend their money more effectively than they can? Render assistance more effectively than they can in their own communities? All of this is designed to manipulate the trusting public. All of it 'starts with a humble story…'. Well there are millions of those…and none of them can advertise on ozbargain to reel in some more suckers and fatten their personal bank accounts.

        …while pretending to 'care'.

        • ozbjunkie on 14/09/2017 - 14:56
          +2

          Are they asking for money, or just reminding people to check in with mates…

          No problem with the latter, surely.

        • cheepwun on 24/09/2017 - 09:25

          @ozbjunkie:
          And we need outfits dealing in millions of dollars to remind us of this? Better for this site to just come clean on the whys and hows regarding their choice to expose this money-siphoning org here…and cut the 'pretending to care' BS.

          This wasn't done for any 'goodwill' reason.

        • ozbjunkie on 24/09/2017 - 15:26

          @cheepwun:

          Apparently we do.

          I don't check in with others and directly ask if they're ok. If you do, well done. But others and I might need a reminder, and an acknowledgement that it's a kind and 'manly' thing to look after others and to admit when you're struggling.

    • MessyG on 14/09/2017 - 14:48
      +5

      Cheep you seem so, so angry, and are expending so much energy on something you profess to not care about. I don't think anyone here has donated, they've just reached out. Yeah you can do that any time, but sometimes we all need a reminder. Awareness campaigns work, domestic violence management has improved so much because of it.

      The major cause of death in adults under 44 is suicide. We need this campaign. Men especially need this campaign because for generations they have been encultured into a world of counterproductive stoicism (not the good Roman kind). You've made your position very very clear, but I don't think you're helping anyone, anywhere by trying to shame people for sharing their stories or reaching out.

      • ozbjunkie on 14/09/2017 - 15:08
        +2

        Agreed on men needing to stop trying to be strong. It's so tiring and frustrating, and painful - the need to present a front of strength seems to dissipate as we age, thank goodness.

  • insular on 14/09/2017 - 10:43
    -6

    i'm fine thanks

    *strokes gun

  • [Deactivated] on 14/09/2017 - 10:58
    +5

    My only issue with this is people like myself tend not to like being vulnerable.
    Admitting you're not ok makes you vulnerable.

    But I will admit it to strangers on a username I don't share on other sites.

    No, I'm not okay. I am 23 in 15 days and that will mark almost 15 years of being far from ok.
    Things were looking up recently, I am paying off my debt, have a FWB and was making friends.
    That got torn down, as per usual recently. I can blame the actions of a few but their actions are my fault.
    I don't think I'll ever be ok, but I've come to terms with that. I wont kill myself yet, I could never let my parents live with the suffering of dying before me.
    So for now, I am paying my debt off, saving for my funeral costs and so I have money to leave my siblings, although OzB doesn't make saving easy..(Had to make this a little less depressing than it is)

    • [Deactivated] on 14/09/2017 - 12:11

      Of me dying before them * Typo :(

    • MessyG on 14/09/2017 - 14:50
      +2

      Originality if I could give you a hug I would. You've come to some beliefs there which are open to challenge if you ever decide you want to feel something better. It starts with seeing your GP and getting a psychologist referral, you get 8 free sessions. It's a hard step. There's some online programs via Headspace and Moodgym that might help too. You're so young, you deserve so much more than to feel the way you do.

      • [Deactivated] on 14/09/2017 - 17:21

        I've seen 15+ counselor's, psychologists etc.
        Had all the meds I could ever dream of.
        Unfortunately I don't see myself recovering from this. I have come to terms with the fact.
        I'm ok with that. Sometimes some of us have to go so the good people can stay and be happy.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 14/09/2017 - 21:44
          +4

          I would really appreciate if you could do me a small favour:

          Make a list of 10 good things which happened to you over the past week. They can be as small as someone letting you go ahead of them in a queue and you can take a whole day to think of them. :)

        • kikiki on 14/09/2017 - 23:41
          +1

          @Scrooge McDuck:

          I've bought a kmart book to do that. I hope over the weeks/months I'll be able to complete my book with a lot of good things/memories/photos. I look forward to doing that :D.

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