If you live in Adelaide, stop flushing your poo down the toilet with other valuable commodities such as water and toilet paper. You can now get paid $25 for each deposit made at Biome Bank. There doesn't appear to be any maximum limit, with some people already making up to 4 deposits per week.
Bonus medical examination, blood test, and stool test all complimentary on your first visit!
I don't think they're taking the piss.
It’s a Poo Bank. Time to rub one out.
Think you're doing it wrong.
Correct term would be to 'Back one out', or 'Drop the kids off at the pool' would also be acceptable.
I'm a fan of "uploading a log"…
Time to rub one out.
.. you mean pinch one off?
I know right? The offer stinks
free TP with every visit.
It's data collection that's a bit like the US microbiome project, plus obtaining microbes for fecal transplants.
Collecting data about the variety of microbes living in ur gut, as well as your own health.
$25 makes sense, paying you to take a poo sample, pretty icky stuff where most of the microbes will cause health issues if in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So essentially they are making a tiny payment for a pretty invasive (blood test also) request.
Not just data collection, they are using these for poo transplants too.
Ha thanks I updated while you were writing it.
They're sticking my poo in someone else??
Who gives a sh**.
Too close to brand infringement
Apparently Biome Bank does.
Well technically Biome Bank's customers
Pricy POO
What a time to be alive!
Can't donate when you're dead, so yeah!
You've gotta be sh*itting me !
Sheeeeitt!
banking on your shit
Is this an Approved Deposit Institution? Lol
I'm more worried about it being approved for Withdrawals
I’m even more worried about it being approved for loans.
I'm even more worried about it being approved for equity
This is a shit deal
No Shit, Sherlock
I hope the place isn't a dump
FYI, you will need to fill out forms and undergo blood tests and fecal screening.
Sounds like a standard Saturday night
For a vast majority of people the $25 won't cover the time taken off work to go through the screening and testing.
How would one normally position that they need time off work to transit to a bank so they can deposit their shit and get paid for taking a dump…
No deal for me as i hate needles.
If I miss their office hours, do they have a Night Safe?
Just leave it in a paper bag on their door step, light it then run.
what a load of crap
Ok ok, I'm here!
The bank is up shit creek.
… fecal transplant?
Hopefully they come through with the $25, else shits gonna hit the fan
The only good joke here.
dunno the standard saturday night one up there was hilarious
can i get paid in toilet rolls instead ?
The biggest question with this shortage is do they have enough toilet paper to begin with or is it BYO?
I could literally make this a full time wage with the amount I crap
Same, I wish they pay by the kg.
Truthfully, they use what’s considered “good” fecal matter and insert it in to people who have bad “guts” to try and get them back to regularity / clear any nasties.
Reminds me of that South Park episode haha
I believe there is a similar sex act known as a "docking station".
I regret googling that.
Do they accept coronaturds?
Could you deposit every single dump you take, 365 days a year?
Only 4x a week. That's max 208/year.
4 times per week is just how many the lady in the news story is depositing. I don't see why you couldn't do more. Not sure if they are open every day or if multiple deposits per day is allowed.
OP. What is the companies policy on higher than $25? Sometimes meals could cost over that amount. So it would be a loss.
How is it a loss? You weren't going to eat your poo right?
Touche @DB24 i wasn't, it was for the garden.
Can't put in directly in the garden need to wait something like 3 months
This deal stinks.
this deal is a load of shit
Oh no, I've upset the Adelites.
Haha. As if Adelaide needs anymore sh*t thrown at them!
Never thought I'd see a poo bank in my lifetime. I wonder if they accept remote deposits… Say at Australia Post. Over-The-Counter of course! Sent by Parcel Post.
Wondering if they will box it for me.
And double bag it first!
Phone banking?
My hole life has been leading to this moment
I was about to correct you, then I loled
Is there a Maccas in walking distance to Biome bank?
I could make a living doing this.
Close the loop
*close the poop
Flushing is now literally flushing money down the drain.
Or in other words, doing a number 2 now has an opportunity cost attached.
I suggest we call it a number 25 now.
So I sit for ~90mins to donate plasma after having a bunch of needles stuck in me and maybe get a juice and muffin for that - and someone takes a dump and gets $25 for that?
I dunno how they can call both of those acts 'donations' - the 2nd one is a jedi mind trick someone pulled on this organisation. I am pretty sure if folks donate blood/plasma for free they'd be happy to do likewise for their crap. Go figure.
Your lucky with the muffin. Up here we have cheese and crackers and other plastic wrapped nibbles.
Well, the human tissue act prohibits selling your flesh. I guess it doesn’t apply to poop. It’s not about the work involved. Blood banks can’t give you money even if they wanted, it’s against the law.
it’s against the law.
The US is trying to get that changed in order to facilitate the vampirism of the wealthy - buying younger people's blood to inject into older people for cosmetic reasons.
For real?
@TEER3X: Vell yees. Ve always face zis discrimination but ve take zis to ze Supreme Court if necessary. Ve need blood.
I thought you could get paid for plasma "donations" in the US?
So CSL shares will tank if this happens
To maximise profits, make sure you do a work poo.
That way not only do you get paid to be on the toilet, you also get paid for your poo.
The true ozbargain way!
Imagine coming forward in time from the middle ages, and you're told that your new profession is to crap in a cup for a living. Times have indeed changed.
As foretold in "2 Girls, 1 Cup."
They would know, it is similar to the very famous, "2 maidens, 1 chalice"
Ahh, the original, before the modern remake! The director's cut is supposed to show some stunning additional scenes, but then no-one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
This offer stinks
ShouldIBuyIt?
BYO Toilet Paper
Happy to ship some down from Queensland..
I think they want locally brewed. Supporting the local customers and their poos
This is DNA profiling. Better check if you have any past criminal records. Might have someone knocking on your door after your small net gain. Not a bad deal though for the little effort.
Advice to smart criminals, have a vegan/organic lunch to throw the cops off your trail.
![[SA] Free $25 Cash in Exchange for Your Poo @ Biome Bank [Adelaide]](https://files.ozbargain.com.au/n/52/523252.jpg?h=6b3ff14f)
Umm what