Aged Care Nightmare - Goodbye Inheritance

LAged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 08:54
Last edited 24/07/2025 - 08:59

I have been reading some posts lately about people stating they will be relying on inheritance to get their way through life, but today I have my story to tell you.

In the previous month my dad (70s) had a fall and is now bed bound. The hospital doctors are recommending he be moved to aged care.

Here is where the problem lies. I need to find a way to find $600,000 for the residential aged care deposit, or pay the daily fee which is the equivalent of $128 a day.

Guess what, my dad has instructed me not to sell the house at any cost. So here I am with the dilemma that I have to find a way to stump up $128 a day to pay for his care.

What have others done to prevent this scenario from happening? Or is the whole "waiting for inheritance" not a real reality?

Further information about me:

I don't have my own house sadly… So, I am regretting skimping on the stamp duty and waiting for the property to pass upon death at the $100 rate… I can tell you that probably in a majority of situations this transfer never even happens because a majority of people will go to aged care and be forced to sell their family home.

Looks bad right? I was pretty upset when he went to the hospital, but now I'm in an even worse position.

Financial

Comments

  • theHMASfriendship on 24/07/2025 - 08:58
    +43

    Thank you for signing up to tell us about this.

    Have you spotted any bargains recently?

      • Lichen6420 on 24/07/2025 - 12:33
        +51

        Just sell the house. It's not really his choice at this point unless he wants to stump up his own cash to cover the cost of his ongoing care.

      • alexdagr8 on 24/07/2025 - 17:59
        +14

        find a cheaper state sponsored nursing home that doesnt charge that amount per day - there are some in NSW (there is a wait list).
        from the state sponsored nursing home it roughly equates to the same cost as the pension (or a little less) and does not require a deposit.

        Government should organise carers in the interim (I agree with your father, do not sell the home).
        You may need to be a carer in the interim (carers leave at work) until the government pulls their fingers out.

    • HerpinDerp on 24/07/2025 - 21:08
      +7

      If he reads enough of JV's dribble he might pass quicker. This could be the dark side of Ozinheritance.

      (pls dont kill me)

    • Unacceptable on 25/07/2025 - 18:04

      I shouldn't laugh but couldn't help reading this.

  • geekcohen on 24/07/2025 - 09:04
    +26

    Have you looked into government funding? What amount his pension?

    pay the daily fee which is the equivalent of $128 a day

    That's cheaper than what it costs me to have my kids in daycare and they are not even there the full 12 hours.

    • Aged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 09:12
      -3

      I looked up a few of the figures and you need to have less than $60,000 to your name to get a free place, or ~$200,000 for the DAC. That figure I believe requires the sale of the house as well, so literally you would need to transfer the inheritance in advance to protect your assets. I doubt the government funds people that own their own home, but I haven't done the research on that yet.

      You are right, there is an amount from his pension which could go to paying around 40% of that, but I'm not sure if he will be using that money to pay for the television and other services, e.g. air conditioner. I want him to be as comfortable as possible, so I'm not sure what his own expenses will look like. I don't want to use his pension to pay for the accomodation.

      The $128 a day is only for the accomodation as far as I'm aware.

      • geekcohen on 24/07/2025 - 09:17
        +4

        I would look into it further and see what funding might be available. My grandmother is in a nursing home even though she has a house with my grandfather (where he still lives) and there is still some government funding.

        I would also consider looking around at other homes to get an understanding on pricing and what is included. I think it's a bit unfair to have to pay extra if you want to watch TV or use the aircon. But I haven't looked into this stuff a lot as my parents took care of it for my grandmother.

        I don't want to use his pension to pay for the accomodation.

        How else do you fund it? Often, people's pensions cover the cost of their nursing home fees/costs. Hopefully with enough left to help with other little things he may want.

        Your Dad sounds like he is switched on mentally, and it's just the physical side of things he requires assistance with, so it does make it hard to do things without him knowing, etc.

      • alexdagr8 on 24/07/2025 - 17:59
        +2

        No, your home is excluded from the means test.

        • nikey2k27 on 24/07/2025 - 19:21

          only if his has wife at home or care at need to live in the house

      • alexdagr8 on 24/07/2025 - 20:50

        The aged pension should mostly cover it…
        https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/how-much-age-pension-yo…

        • mrtin on 25/07/2025 - 07:02
          +2

          Only a portion of the basic daily care fee. Accommodation fee is on top

          • TilacVIP on 25/07/2025 - 08:43

            @mrtin: unless you have $60k or less asset value, then they'll cover accom. also.

    • CaptainJack on 24/07/2025 - 09:50
      -6

      Having multiple kids that require constant supervision costs more than a single adult that doesn't. News at 11.

      • geekcohen on 24/07/2025 - 10:53
        +6

        Okay, I should have been clearer. It costs me more per day, per kid than $128. Its ~$160 before CCS.

      • serpserpserp on 24/07/2025 - 13:31
        -4

        Yes, people have to pay for health care. News at 11.

      • Daabido on 25/07/2025 - 19:40

        Too late. I'm in bed by then.

    • AustriaBargain on 24/07/2025 - 10:50
      +7

      I've a mate who is paying more to kennel their pets while on holiday.

      • alexdagr8 on 24/07/2025 - 20:36
        +1

        How… they need to shop around..

        • AustriaBargain on 24/07/2025 - 20:46
          +11

          Some people like dogs more than people. A lot more.

  • Ynk on 24/07/2025 - 09:09
    +60

    So he wants to keep all his assets and not contribute to his care costs? If he refuses to sell your options are to rent it out or take out a reverse mortgage.

    • PopCounty on 25/07/2025 - 13:21
      +3

      Probably his dad is concerned about the OP and wants to give hi the house rather selling. Or maybe OP wants the house badly that he’s looking for alternatives. Once the house is sold, it’s no more inheritance to the OP.

      Looking at how OP has emphasised about inheritance, looks more like he’s not too bothered about welfare of his dad. Or is his second priority.

      • MrFunSocks on 25/07/2025 - 15:06
        +3

        Once the house is sold, it’s no more inheritance to the OP.

        Well the money will be the inheritance - these aged care facilities don't keep the entire $600k - they hold it for the length of the stay, they earn and keep the interest from it during said stay, and then they keep some of it when they "leave" the aged care facility. This interest that they earn (and the exit fee) covers the accomodation costs weekly, I believe you still have to pay for food etc.

        So OP could still probably get $500k inheritance out of that $600k that goes to the aged care facility.

        • PopCounty on 25/07/2025 - 15:25
          +1

          Yeah right.

  • shaybisc on 24/07/2025 - 09:10

    $900 a week fees - what's his income?

    • BigTop on 24/07/2025 - 11:44
      +9

      My mum passed a year ago. The nursing home had a $900K RAD deposit. On top of this, they took 85% of her Aged Pension, and because she had more than $70K investments ( not much more ) she had to pay an additional $1200 per month. With interest earned for the nursing home on the $900K RAD deposit, plus everything else they took from Mum, they made over $80K per year off her. We were lucky to get the full RAD back on her passing, but now the nursing home keeps 20% of that as far as I know. It’s big bucks for nursing homes.

      • sckill2712 on 24/07/2025 - 13:09
        +15

        It's not cheap to run a nursing home. You could have a look of those financial report of NGOs which runs nursing home and most of them are not earning much in their nursing home sector.

      • DashCam AKA Rolts on 24/07/2025 - 13:23
        +12

        We were lucky to get the full RAD back on her passing

        It was not luck, it is in the title - Refundable Accommodation Deposit.

        This amount is held in a trust like account, repayable to the estate or the person should they leave care. The interest generated from these funds are what pay the effective rent of the Nursing/Care home facilities.

      • serpserpserp on 24/07/2025 - 13:33
        +1

        Sorry. Did you get 100% of your RAD back or 80%? Story is unclear.

      • afayd on 24/07/2025 - 14:24
        +3

        Could someone explain to me the concept of 'deposit' in this context? If it's for the nursing home to generate income from interest, why don't they simply ask for that amount direct instead of asking for a deposit? To me, 'deposit' sounds like 'in the case that something goes wrong, they'll get to keep it'. Are there cases where they get to keep the whole thing?

        • Some Guy on 25/07/2025 - 13:32

          It is a government-mandated "fee" with which the aged care industry can do as they wish. It is in effect a legal ponzi scheme. The fact that it is funded by the family jewels at the most stressful time in a family's life adds to the suffering.

      • Muppet Detector on 24/07/2025 - 15:17
        +1

        To put it into a bit of perspective NDIS allocates just under$1 million per year for a person requiring 24/7 assisted living.

        Typically in a group home type situation with on site carers etc.

        • john_conner on 24/07/2025 - 22:04
          +2

          …so you are saying NDIS costs ~21x the cost of age care.
          If you paid for individual care 24/7 and payed penalties, the base wages would be over 200k per year…

        • garddn on 25/07/2025 - 07:40
          +11

          NDIS has a budget as big as the Defence Force.
          Should be scrapped and started again.

      • MrFunSocks on 25/07/2025 - 15:08
        +1

        plus everything else they took from Mum, they made over $80K per year off her.

        You could also say that she paid $80k a year for round the clock care and accomodation/food/etc.

        • BigTop on 25/07/2025 - 17:11
          -1

          Say it anyway you like.

  • pencilman on 24/07/2025 - 09:10
    +1

    I believe there is usually a care fee of >>$100 as well as the daily residential fee, so cost prob >>$300 per day.
    Maybe with some government subsidy.

    • Aged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 09:16

      Yeah, good point, I can't use any of his pension to pay the accomodation because it will likely go towards his daily care fee.

      I just googled it and it states this: The basic daily care fee is currently $63.82 per day, which equates to 89.15% of the standard full aged pension.

      I am sure his care fee will be higher though…

      • mrtin on 25/07/2025 - 07:04

        Basic daily care fee, plus means tested fee, plus accommodation fee…

  • apu on 24/07/2025 - 09:12
    +19

    Guess what, my dad has instructed me not to sell the house at any cost.

    Guess what, if you have power of attorney, you get to make the decisions which you believe best suit your father's requirements. That might include selling the house to pay for ongoing care.

    • jv on 24/07/2025 - 11:13
      +2

      Guess what, if you have power of attorney

      They likely don't…

  • pegaxs on 24/07/2025 - 09:20
    +25

    I need to find a way to find $600,000 for the residential aged care deposit

    Yeah, I dont think a "deposit" is going to be $600,000. At $128/day, they are looking to cover if your father doesnt pay for 12 years? What I think you are talking about is a "Lump Sum" payment. Any unused portion will be returned to the estate upon him either leaving or passing away and not requiring any more care.

    dad has instructed me not to sell the house at any cost.

    Well, that is on him then, as it will be taken from his estate. If he doesn't pay or has no ability to pay, then they will not admit him. It kind of sounds like he is cutting off his nose to spite his face. Either way, if he instructs you to not sell the house "at any cost" then where is the cost to be borne for this accommodation? Because you might not have to sell the house now, you may have to sell it after.

    You need to have a sit down talk with your dad and the whole family who is involved (brothers, sisters, etc) and work out just how this is going to be paid. Your dad's stubbornness should not financially ruin other people because "at any price…"

    So here I am with the dilemma that I have to find a way to stump up $128 a day

    No, your father needs to find $128/day. If he has no other assets other than the house, then this may be his only option.

    I think you need to speak to some form of legal advisor on this subject so this doesn't burden you with your father's financial decisions. I have heard of some aged care homes going after the children of patients and having them sign on as being financially responsible in the event of any debts. You need legal advice, not an opinion from a bunch of armchair experts on a bargain forum.

    Anyway, on all that note, I do find it obscenely morbid that some families hang around dying parents just to pick over their dead carcass for any scraps of inheritance and then burn it all up on new cars, holidays or on lawyers fighting with siblings over who gets what share. They stop seeing their parents as living humans that need care and just as a clock waiting to be punched so they can get some scraps. It's like "Oh, mum is 86 this year… we can afford that 6 week holiday to Bali because I know mum has some savings put away for when she passes…."

    • MrFunSocks on 25/07/2025 - 15:12

      Yep was recently in this position with a relative and they didn't want to sell their house to cover the lump sum, but if they didn't they would burn through their entire savings in about 12 months and then have to sell the house anyway, which would have been essentially just throwning away their entire savings for nothing. Thankfully they understood this and sold the house.

    • Aged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 09:28
      +9

      No, he is unable to be taken care of at home, which is how he was being taken care of previously whilst I was working at home.

        • Muppet Detector on 24/07/2025 - 15:52
          +10

          My in-laws moved into a nursing home about six months ago.

          (Same one but different rooms).

          They absolutely loved it!

          Plenty of other folk around to talk to engage with.

          Plenty of organised activities for them to access.

          Reasonable level of autonomy whilst having a team of qualified carers, trained in recognising and managing situations, thoughts and feelings older people may experience, on hand should they need any care or other support.

          Option to make their own cuppa and snacks if they're up to it, or someone on hand to do it for them if they're not.

          So many other things they enjoyed during the later stages of their lives but two others were quite important to them

          1) They were able to have good memories of their home as well as not worrying if it were cleaned/looked after properly, adequately maintained etc.

          2) They didn't feel like they were being a burden on any of their children.

          It was an environment which they voluntarily chose to enter and appreciated and enjoyed the time they were able to spend there.

          Unfortunately, MIL, passed away a month or so back, leaving grandad on his own after almost 80 years of marriage, but the friends he made there and the structured nature of the environment, provide him with the necessary support and friendship he needs in addition to providing him with an environment in which he feels safe.

        • TrumpisKing on 25/07/2025 - 22:21

          You are 💯 correct

        • SlickMick on 25/07/2025 - 23:24

          More than three mate. I don't think you understand aged care.

          My mum looked after my grandmother as long as she could, and it was dangerous. My mum was actually trained as a nurse many decades earlier, but wasn't able to adequately look after her. Eventually grandma had to go to a nursing home against her will, where she could get the care she needed.

    • JiGaXD on 24/07/2025 - 09:38
      +12

      I don't think this is what OP is getting at. Also, OP might have other commitments like a full-time job or family to take care of. It might not make sense for OP to prioritise aged care for dad at the expense of say time nurturing OP's own children.

        • JiGaXD on 24/07/2025 - 11:11
          +22

          Your example is very narrow and doesn't apply to everyone. You're privileged if you can just go to work and leave whenever you want. Aged care could be for the next 20+ years part-time.

          For example, if you're self employed or working in hospitality, you can't just "leave work as needed".

        • vi9ilante on 24/07/2025 - 13:00
          +12

          Do you go on holidays every year, fly business and give your kid a private school education in a G Wagon? No? That's screwed up bro. You need to get a better job to take care of him, you speak to your employer and HR and explain the situation. I have a child too and he's rich because of me, no big deal. When I felt poor, I was able to storm into work and ask for that raise, no issues. YOU BE A PROPER RESPECTFUL DAD
          At the end of the day it is all excuses.

        • Muppet Detector on 24/07/2025 - 15:37
          +13

          Neither of my parents will ALLOW me to move into their home, far less provide them with 24/7 care.

          Both of my parents would feel so humiliated and ashamed if I were to help them with their showering, toileting or dressing needs.

          Trust me, they don't want me wiping their bums or seeing their "private parts".

          They don't want me to need to clean up their vomit or address any incontinency issues.

          They don't want me washing them or brushing their teeth.

          They don't even want me cutting their finger or toe nails.

          Heck my father won't even let his wife wash his underpants ffs. And when mum washes hers, it's this super secret sneaky exercise and they only get hung on an inside line behind a bunch of other clothes, inside their garage - to stop anybody peeking at her undergarments!

          I don't know if it's because they're really old or just old fashioned, but for them, certain things are private and their child has no business attending to them.

          You have no idea what the circumstances, family dynamics or reasons for why anybody cannot care for their parents positing these later stages of their lives.

          It could even be something as simple as them not being able to safely lift their parent into/out of/onto places and things.

          So many other reasons that clearly that judgmental conga line dancing through your head needs to consider.

          • SlickMick on 25/07/2025 - 23:34
            +1

            @Muppet Detector: I remember my mum trying to care for her mum. I found her dry retching whilst cleaning up a messed up toilet room.
            I told her to take a break and I cleaned it up, then said it was time for grandma to get professional assistance. They might want to remain independent, but sometimes they're beyond that.

            It was far better for everyone to spend good times with grandma and let a trained professional deal with the less fun events.

        • Muppet Detector on 25/07/2025 - 12:49
          +2

          LOL.

          My parents are still in their own home, but at 97 & 103, they are starting to slow down.

          I have offered to move in with them a few days a week. I have begged them to move in with me full time.

          They don't even have to live in the main house with the rest of the family, they could live independently in a little 2 bedroom self contained granny flat about 10 meters from the main house.

          Did it ever occur to you that the father doesn't want to be dependent on the son? Perhaps his personal pride prevents him from considering that?

          Just maybe, the old man doesn't want to be in a position where their kid can dig around and stick his nose into his business!

          A few months ago, one of my brothers visited my parents and rejigged some of their computer settings. As a throwaway comment on his way out, he told mum to be careful where she left her iPad because others could access it easily.

          Fortunately, mum was tuned in enough to mention it to my other brother.

          Seems brother one changed settings to allow him to remotely log into mums computer and devices and have a look around at all her private business including her banking apps and transactions

          Now, I am quite sure his intentions weren't meant to be nefarious, as in he was intending to isolate or swipe all her money, he is independently wealthy enough in his own right to not need to do dodgy stuff like that.

          I'm more inclined to believe that he was just keeping an eye on her that she wasn't getting herself scammed or watching that others weren't trying to bleed her dry. At worst, maybe he was just being nosey.

          But the fact remained, mum didn't want anybody snooping around her private business, particularly not peeking at her financials!

          Now, my brother isn't waiting for an inheritance, but the dude in this OP is. Maybe the father doesn't want the kid meddling in his private affairs and telling him how to manage them!

          Internet is ripe with examples of elder abuse.

          As for taking extended time off work? Even if the boss is on board, from where is the son going to derive the income he needs to support himself that he is no longer getting from his employment?

          —- Sheesh dude… for all we know, the old guy might live another 20 years! For how long is the son supposed to put his life on hold?

        • Muppet Detector on 25/07/2025 - 15:30

          What a wonderful world your father must exist in where his entire social circle evolves around you.

          Do you provide him with opportunities to engage with other people his age/experiencing life in the manner he is?

          Do you provide him with opportunities to explore and concerns or questions he may have about this stage of his life?

          Do you provide him with opportunities to engage in hobbies and interests he already has, opportunities to learn new ones and opportunities to meet and engage with other people who share similar hobbies and interests as he does?

          Does he ever get a chance to shoot the breeze with somebody other than you?

          Does he ever get to go outside, attend other appropriate outings or do anything else apart from spend his life moving between his bed and the lounge?

          Do you even bath him each day (or whenever he needs to freshen up) and then dress him in clean laundered clothes each time?

          Do you even bother changing him out of his jammies each morning into day clothes and then back into jammies again?

          Meh,

      • Protractor on 24/07/2025 - 13:39
        -1

        Which part of > Goodbye Inheritance did you miss or misinterpret?

    • BigTop on 24/07/2025 - 11:47

      Good luck with that Bucko.

    • Lunarboogie on 24/07/2025 - 13:59
      +13

      I agree. The majority of responses on here reflect an Anglo-centric world view. As an Asian Australian, my outlook cleaves to mrkorrupt. If I was OP, I'd move into the place and care for dad, certainly initially anyway.

      My first insinct wouldn't be to farm him off to a nursing home and outsource the problem, and then bleat on OzB about 'loosing my inheritance'. This issue isn't all about you.

      Suck it up and deal with the hand that has been dealt you. You wouldn't be here today if not for your dad. I'm not suggesting you flagelate yourself on the alter of filial piety, but you should at least exhaust all options before you settle on the easiest one. Even if just for 12-months or so. You can even consider the $128 you're saving (and the $600k deposit) as your salary.

      Good luck OP. Sometimes life calls you to do the right thing, even when it's tough on you. Foker out.

      • ozb1ozb2ozb3 on 24/07/2025 - 15:20
        +5

        With due respect - OP should feel proud to have the chance to give back to their father, even in a small way.

        While it's true that we can never fully repay what our parents have done for us, especially emotionally and personally, when it comes to finances, some studies estimate that raising a child to adulthood can cost a family over $600K-1M considering cost, loss of income/opportunities etc.

        With that perspective, perhaps OP might consider contributing up to that amount as a gesture of gratitude—before worrying too much about a potential loss of inheritance, which isn’t something anyone is inherently entitled to.

        • Muppet Detector on 24/07/2025 - 16:56
          +4

          Ooohhhhh

          I will walk on water for my parents, and give them anything they want or need within my ability, but only because I want to and I like doing nice things for them that hopefully positively enhance their lives.

          I didn't ask to be born, nor did I have much input into how I was raised. I don't owe them anything but love, respect and gratitude.

          They chose to become parents. Being a parent has certain obligations and responsibilities. If that costs money, then that's on them.

          Doing those parenty things? That's literally their job!

      • tenpercent on 24/07/2025 - 16:19
        +4

        Tbh, it's not really an "Anglo-centric world view" behind OP's "first instict to farm him off to a nursing home and outsource the problem". It's more of a me-me-me attitude and consumerism culture.
        No one in my family has ever done that with elder family members. They've always been taken care of, at least to start with, in their home or they move into the home of family members.

        • skillet on 25/07/2025 - 18:09
          +2

          It's nothing to do with race, I have Greek neighbour with a big family the grands in their 90s moved in a few years ago. The teens looked after them while the parents worked full-time. Which was lovely. They were friendly and warm people with well brought up children. Sometimes it's more about work and financial ability. If wasn't for the kids there won't be anyone looking after the grands. One of them will have to quit and they will be financially limited. I have also plenty of Indian friends who lives with their elderly parents.

      • garddn on 25/07/2025 - 07:44
        -1

        Bit of race there. Careful

      • SlickMick on 25/07/2025 - 23:42

        I'm married to a similar culture, or I thought so. But in my wife's culture, there is a large extended family providing assistance. So as it turns out, immediate family actually don't do the messy, hands on things. Others step in and do that stuff so that immediate family only share the good stuff and don't tarnish it with messy things that could tarnish good memories.

        So in a way, I find in this regard, the Anglo-centric approach has perfected the "it takes a village" approach, and those trying to look after parents themselves aren't doing anybody any good.

    • Muppet Detector on 24/07/2025 - 15:55
      +6

      How do you even know if he was in the picture when OP was a child, or if he was, that he was a decent father that treated his son well, eh?

      Assumptions much?

      • Lunarboogie on 24/07/2025 - 16:00
        +1

        True. There are a few assumptions being bandied about but one old truth holds firm - a watched pot never boils.

        OP seems a little overly fixated by the prospect of an inheritance than his dad's well-being. If he wants coin that much, why not work for it like everyone else?

        • Muppet Detector on 24/07/2025 - 16:48
          +3

          Yeah, the underlying entitlement is gnawing at me.

          Only outdone by the expectation that they get free nursing home whilst they have the ability to pay for it.

  • Gunnar on 24/07/2025 - 09:27
    +29

    I’m unclear if you’re worried about your dad’s wellbeing or your inheritance

    • Aged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 09:31
      -2

      I am just sharing my story because there were previous comments in other threads about people waiting for their inheritance. That isn't the reality for most families and a majority of people will enter aged care at some point in their life.

      I am not sure how others have structured their finances, but I definitely did not see this coming.

      I will be paying all the fees regardless, but I believe the inheritance is now gone. It's just a warning to others that maybe they could do something else instead to protect themselves whilst still ensuring their loved ones get the care they need due to the other government incentives that are available if you don't own your own home.

      Frankly if I accepted the transfer of the house and paid stamp duty a few years ago, I wouldn't have to worry about this at all.

      Are you guys in this similar position, if so, I would recommend you pay the stamp duty.

      • ihbh on 24/07/2025 - 09:41
        +8

        Are you guys in this similar position, if so, I would recommend you pay the stamp duty.

        You mean if you had forked out the stamp duty, you'd have gotten a house at market rate, and you paid your dad for this market value and he would have dough and could pay his way?

        Or do you mean, you would have a free house, less cost of stamp duty and your dad would have free aged care because he doesn't own a house?

      • Jimothy Wongingtons on 24/07/2025 - 10:35
        +11

        inheritance is now gone

        Idk bro many here won’t even HAVE an inheritance to lose let alone stress about losing one…

      • serpserpserp on 24/07/2025 - 13:46
        +2

        The way you get around it is effectively planning 5+ years in advance. That would be to sell the house into a trust for the kids. That isn't cheap, but avoids Dad owning a house.

        I think the time limit is 5 years on the aged care bit. If you think you see it coming and do it two years before Dad hits aged care you'll still have to pay like he owned the asset I believe.

        Anyway, there are ways to get around paying for it. But I am a firm believer that we should pay for our own aged care if we have the means to do so. If you think Dad is going to recover to be able to live at home again one day, then maybe there are other resources you can use. Best to talk to your geriatrician about that.

      • cheapcheapazn on 25/07/2025 - 11:24

        Not the exact situation but I reflect on it for when I eventually need to go to aged care. Makes me think that I may not be able to leave the family home to my only child.

      • bmxr on 25/07/2025 - 12:03

        Sorry you're going through this, we are in the exact same position. But you're not thinking clearly.

        1) You either sell the house, and use that for a RAD - which you will inherit eventually.

        2) Or you pay the daily fees, and keep the house - which you will inherit eventually.

        • MrFunSocks on 25/07/2025 - 15:19
          +1

          Or

          3) you pay the daily fees, and keep the house until you can't afford the fees and then you have to sell the house anyway, at which stage you no longer have the option to pay a lump sum so will continue burning through the money from the sale of the house - then you inherit whatever is left, which could be significantly less than if you just did 1).

    • Jaduqimon on 24/07/2025 - 09:34
      +14

      he wants to make it sound like he is concerned about his dad's wellbeing but at same time susing out ideas to preserve his inheritance.

      otherwise its pretty straight forward. pay the daily rate or put the house as security for the aged care.

      it appears he is also regretting not getting the transfer of the property done earlier because he wanted to avoid stamp duty while his dad is still alive.

      Ultimately, he is saying he should have transferred the property before this happened so he could keep the house under his name and his dad can get free/almost free aged care funded by taxpayers.

      • Aged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 09:37
        +1

        It's too late to preserve it, as far as I'm aware for myself, but yes, it's something for others to discuss.

        Could it have been done differently?

        • JiGaXD on 24/07/2025 - 09:49
          +2

          Think others have already given you the options. There's only a handful of them. Other complicated options might just cloud your judgment.

          1. Fund the aged care yourself
          2. Your dad funds it

          Either way, it sounds like you either sell the house or your dad manages without assistance. The transfer of the house from your dad's name to your name practically just sounds like a waste of money via stamp duty. If you have power of attorney, you can still sell the house, the money goes to your dad to fund aged care costs, if there's any left it'll go to you as inheritance. No need to pay extra stamp duty to government.

        • Lachy2437 on 25/07/2025 - 08:58
          +2

          It sounds like the system is working correctly. It seems like you think your inheritance should be subsidised by the taxpayer which is gross.

          • gromit on 25/07/2025 - 23:59

            @Lachy2437: No the system is somewhat broken, the fact he could have transferred the property earlier to burden the tax payer is broken. Basically that sort of scam to hide assets needs to be stomped on.

    • Protractor on 24/07/2025 - 10:39
      -1

      Oh, I thought that was the most obvious part.
      The post title say it all.

    • BigTop on 24/07/2025 - 11:53
      +2

      It’s always wise to be concerned with both….dont kid yourself it’s never about money.

    • unhuman on 25/07/2025 - 09:50

      Its both. I would sell the house. Money can be earnt. No point stressing over it.

  • samyall on 24/07/2025 - 09:35
    +5

    I'm not sure what your problem is here. Either you sell the house, pay the deposit and then when he dies you get bulk back OR pay the fee until he dies and then get the house. Either way you get a sizeable inheritance.

    I hate to say it but you probably wont be waiting that long if he's bed bound.

    If you cant sell the house, can't you either live in it and pay to reduce your housing costs or rent it out and then pay for your dad's care using that money?

    • Aged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 09:40
      -2

      Yes, this is a good idea, maybe I rent it out and do not tell him that it is being rented out.

      • soan papdi on 24/07/2025 - 10:32

        What about an equity withdrawal. Keep funds it in the offset and pay from that. No idea if this will work but worth a try.

      • derrida derider on 24/07/2025 - 15:03
        +14

        God you owe him honesty as well as love.

        OF COURSE you tell him you've rented it out - it is his house. "Dad, good news. I've found a way to avoid selling the house, just as you wanted. We rent it out for a while and use the rent to pay the care fee."

        Frankly, if your father can't accept that then he is being selfish. Actually I think you both are - you have no right at all to an inheritance (you've done nothing to deserve it except choose your parents wisely) and he should not expect others (either you or the taxpayer) to pay for his care while he himself has the means to do so.

        The government agrees with both of those, which is exactly why taxpayer subsidised aged care is designed to work as backdoor death duties.

      • Muppet Detector on 24/07/2025 - 16:06
        +1

        How does that help him gain access to a care facility?

        It will still show up as an asset (probably complete with tax obligations, not to mention meeting all the obligations and responsibilities of a landlord).

        Rental income is taxable income and subject to affect every allowance, pension, payment and price allocation for the care facility that comes with it.

        Absolutely terrible advice!

        Renting it out at this stage is an absolutely terrible idea!

        Let's not even consider the fact that you need his permission to offer his property for rent

        How you going to keep him in the dark about all the other paperwork he's required to sign and submit to make a rental happen?

        Heck, you can't even take out LL insurance on his behalf without him knowing about it!

  • Fredfloresjr on 24/07/2025 - 09:40
    +21

    I work in Aged Care for almost 10 years now, 5 years as a Manager. I have few residents who are paying full daily fees and not wanting to sell their properties nor declare how much they have. I don't see any problems on their end? But heaps from family members. MONEY MONEY MONEY. We are talking Inner West Sydney properties worth around 1.6 to $3M. I even have 1 resident who refuse to sell his house, but what he does, he visits it every morning just to have coffee in there and trim the plants. FAMILIES ARE CRYING as no one lives in there anymore and the house is worth $2M+ lol. When I spoke to the resident, he said that house is his life. So yeah.

    Yes, residents have the full legal capacity to make their decisions. My impression? Yes, you are waiting for the inheritance. Please do ensure to check his WILL, otherwise you are F'd.

    Edit: Welcome to Ozbargain

    • Aged Care Nightmare on 24/07/2025 - 09:54
      +1

      Do you have any ballpark figures on how much of the deposit is usually returned on average for someone going into care for 5 years?

      I don't think my dad has more than a few years to live, sadly.

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