[April Fools] 澳八根将全面中文化 (Announcement: OzBargain Is Changing to Chinese)

For those too sensitive to see it, yes it is an April Fools Day joke, something that we have been doing every year for the last couple of years. See our April Fools post in 2017 #1, 2017 #2, 2016, 2015, 2014 and 2013. See response.


Original Post
澳大利亚在改变,澳八根也需要改变

澳大利亚 2016 年人口调查指出:

  • 有超过五十万中国出生的华人住在澳大利亚
  • 十分之一的悉尼人口是华裔血统
  • 十万个中国留学生在澳大利亚的大学读书

因为地理上靠近远东邻邦,许多海外学生留下了成为居民以及越来越多的移民,澳大利亚的亚洲话是避免不了的。你只要看看去年澳八根网聚的照片和直播就知道-你将不难发现在在澳八根上占强势的人群是哪些!

但这不仅仅只关乎在澳大利亚的华人人口。还有就是中国的购买能力。最近十年来中国扫空了澳大利亚的奶粉鱼油,买了我们的房子,买了我们的农地,买了我们的煤矿,甚至还买了我们的政府官员。很明显地他们对便宜货也是很有兴趣的。几个星期前我与一个澳八根客聊天,他现在在另一家折扣网站工作,市场是在澳大利亚的中国人。他的网站突然挤爆从中国的访客来买澳洲这的奢侈品(iPhone X, 名牌包等等)假想澳八根也可借此打开有十四亿潜力的市场?喀亲!

所以为了更好地照顾不断改变的澳八根客以及让这网站打开更大的市场,澳八根决定改变它的方向。我们的主题色调将采用中国伟大的红色,而语言也将慢慢地转变为中文。在论坛里每当有人问应该学哪种语言,被推荐的绝对是中文。电视剧萤火虫与冲出宁静号早在十五年前就已经知道未来的人一方面用英文沟通,另一方面用中文粗话彼此诅咒,而我们都知道哪种表达方式更重要!

已完成的改变

  • 网站名从 OzBargain 改成澳八根,并以红色为主题色
  • 最上头选单改为中文
  • 公告都将用中文,但有介于一些土澳语言能力有限,将附上一小段英文概要
  • 主页上小米专用链接。这是澳八根最爱的一个中国品牌,但可惜的是他们还是没有赞助我们复活节的寻宝项目

其他改变计划

  • 要是访客从中国来,自动把价钱转换到人民币
  • Udemy 将提供学习普通话课程的优惠码
  • 房地产优惠讯息,特别是精英中学附近的
  • 链接到代购网站帮助你把所购买的运回中国

最后,谁然我们尚未与党的数据仓库订好协议,但敏感话题还是不要提,比如说西藏与台湾的独立等等。它们会在不通知情况下被和谐掉。

最最后。这边谁有马云叔叔的联络方式?想问问他有没有兴趣收购一个澳大利亚折扣分享网站…


Australia is changing, and so should OzBargain

According to 2016 census and various stats that I cannot be bothered linking to, there are now

  • More than 1/2 million China-born Chinese living in Australia.
  • More than 10% of Sydneysiders claim to have Chinese ancestry.
  • More than 100,000 Chinese overseas students studying in universities around Australia.

China & Australia Flags

With geographic proximity to our East-Asian neighbours, overseas students becoming permanent residents after graduation and increasing influx of immigration — Australia becoming more Asianised is inevitable. Taking a look at photos and livestream from previous year's OzBargain meetups, and it is not hard to figure out OzBargain's dominating demographic.

However it's more than just the Chinese population in Australia. It is also about China's purchasing power. Over the last decade China has cleared out our milk powder & fish oil, bought out our flats & houses, our farmlands, our coal mines and even our politicians — and they are obviously also looking for bargains. A few weeks ago I had a chat with an OzBargainer who now works at a competitor deal site targeting Chinese in Australia. Instead of local traffic, his site is flooded with visitors from China shopping for luxury products in Australia (iPhone X, designer bags, etc). Imagine opening up OzBargain to 1.4 billion potential shoppers?! Ka-ching!!

2018 OzBargain Meetup in Chatswood

So, to serve the ever-changing OzBargain demographic better AND to open this site to a huge potential market, OzBargain has also decided to change its course. OzBargain will now embrace the glorious Chinese-red (our new theme colour) and gradually change the language to Chinese. After all whenever "what language should I learn" got asked in the forums, the answer has always been Mandarin. Firefly/Serenity got it right 15 years ago — in the future most people will speak English and swear in Mandarin, and we all know which form of expression is more important.

Firefly Cursing in Chinese

What's Changing

  • Our name will be changed to ào bā gēn and theme colour to red.
  • Top navigation menu will all be changed to Chinese.
  • Announcement will be done in Chinese, and for those who are linguistic challenged, a brief English translation will also be included.
  • Dedicated Xiaomi link on the home page. That's the Chinese brand we all love. Unfortunately they still won't sponsor our Easter treasure hunt.

Planned Improvements

To realign with our future goal, these changes are planned for the rest of the year:

  • Automatically show prices in ¥ Renminbi if you are visiting from China. We just need a bit adjustment to our implementation last year.
  • Exclusive coupon code for free Mandarin lessons at Udemy.
  • Real Estate Bargains section, especially houses around Selective high schools.
  • Quick links to mail forwarding service to send Australian products back to China.

Finally, while we have not yet finalised a deal with CCP on their "data warehousing" project, it would be impolite to mention taboo subjects such as Tibet or Taiwan independence. These will be removed without notification.

PS: Anyone has Uncle Ma Yun's contact detail handy? I would like to ask him whether he is interested in acquiring a little Australian deal sharing website…

Comments

  • lol.

    钛了我开眼金的打狗网页亮瞎一早

    Whatever that means, Asian pride!

  • Yi Qun Sha Bi

  • Death to the Ming!!!

  • +2

    Lol, bloody hell…i thought site was being hacked….then realised….they got me…good one…

  • Haha thought you guys got hacked or being borderline racist, in long weekend mode took a bit longer than usual to register…Happy April fools!

  • +1

    我欢迎我们新的中国霸主

  • 厉害了👍

  • whats next Punjab ? God help us!

  • +1

    Can we have chinese user names as well @割弟?

  • Is Scotty chinese?

    • After reading more comment from Scotty, I am now certain

      • Thanks, didn't see his face until now.

      • Also, didn't know he is also the founder. He is famous for bringing lenovo deals.

  • Btw, lots of chinese born in aus, not sure if they can all read chinese

  • -1

    You got me good, I was fuming! Was trying to see if the site would be written in English too hahaha so funny!!!

  • 尼玛终于可以写中文了,尼玛不会被河蟹吧?

  • +3

    我就是要修宪独裁怎么了

    • 习大大万岁万岁万万岁

  • Also, there is always google translate, I think ozbargain is great, I like the chinese name too but does not translate the meaning of bargain

  • Great timing of this announcement, on Easter, during rebirth of Jesus

    • He came back years ago and they crucified him again

    • You mean the birthday of the Easter Bunny.

  • 八根 -> 扒根?
    谁然 -> 虽然。

  • +1

    ROFL

  • haha good one.
    You got me for a good 10 seconds =)

  • -1

    Ni hao!

  • My order is simple. A shitload of dim sims & a bucket of soya sauce!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUsNE4hW0fQ&t=0m21s

  • Pauline is gathering the senators for an emergency meeting as we speak

  • good try, but not nice, not at all!

  • +1

    我想要限量版澳八根T恤

  • Hi Scotty, keep up the hard work. I suppose Jack Ma would be genuinely interested in a piece of this business in the foreseeable future or even a seat on your board,if you have one.

    • Lol, nice joke.

      Western invester maybe, but not jack ma.

  • The great country of China is now increasing it's sovereign status (no, not the extra little islands).
    It no longer is taking rubbish from foreign powers, recycled rubbish that is.
    Instead it generously sprinkles advanced Chinese technology from the skies to help other nations with their development.
    And since it is Easter it shall be a surprise Easter hunt, however finds the biggest chunk of the glorious chinese space station will receive a glowing reward thanks to free chinese nuclear technology.

  • +1

    Seriously Scotty, if Chinese offers you $100m to buy OZB, will you take the deal?

    • +1

      That is a no brainer, of course he will take it. I think even selling this site for 10 million is very lucrative

      • All OzB value is end-user generated - a fickle bunch - take money and run!

        • I'll keep working for 10 badges a day.

    • Not gonna happen after today's post….

  • +5

    What's funny is an Aussie can't buy a house in China but we're the racists.

    Free China from its Stalinist Overlords

    • +1

      who told u that "an Aussie can't buy a house in China" ??
      im an Australia citizen and do own an unit in shanghai.
      u should free urself form ur Stalinist Overlords!!

      • Can I be a slumlord too ?

        • +1

          you could be anything you wanted to be, you deserve it.

        • +2

          @samelight: Australian citizen.
          Are you also Chinese?

  • +2

    This actually doesn't sound like a joke, unfortunately. If you know what i mean.

  • -2

    1 Apr.

  • Let the Asian Invasion Commence!! Salute!!

    • We should call it the ozbargain revolution has begun

    • +1

      Everyone has to wear pyjamas when going late night supermarket shopping.

  • +1

    China Number 1!

  • I almost hit the nuclear launch button directed to China but then my defence secretary told me last minute it was a joke. Or was it.

  • +4

    Finally an improvement to the website.

  • April 1st!

  • Uncle Ma在天朝叫马云爸爸。。。

  • +4

    Feels like Hurstville in here

    • How about ashfield or burwood

      • Could be Eastwood

        • +1

          Or Chatswoo

        • @Scrooge McDuck: Been to them all, Hurstville seems more "Authentic Oriental" if you will.

          Not saying that like its a bad thing :)

    • +1

      Or Boxhill in VIC

  • -1

    april fools

  • Something seems fishy… Can't seem to find the baby formula bargains section…

  • This is fkn brilliant.

  • +1

    As a Chinese I'd say this is not funny.

    • +4

      It's OK, we'll try to find you a deal on a sense of humour.

      • +2

        I'm Chinese and I find this April fool prank cool and funny, but again, have a look at other deals being posted, almost sparked by hatred and racism

  • +3

    Not cool.

  • oh so much 中国同胞here

  • +1

    Even cheap cheap lah from Singapore does not have a Chinese banner, I must say ozbargain is ahead of its time

  • +3

    This is the Great Leap Forward and Cultural Revolution for OzBargain! Next OzBargain meet up on June 4th at Tiananmen Square?

    • +1

      And get a free massage by tanks on that day only! Guys help me to find a good flight deal to Beijing!

      • Or a free massage with a happy ending… Thats what the chinese export isnt it?

    • Tienanmen what? All I heard was that you need rehabilitation in a black jail

  • 澳八根,八根,八根! 重要的事情说三遍。
    Every man's dream!
    Or woman? Love it! Muahaha…..

  • Olen pahoillani en puhu Kiinalainen

  • Good Joke😹

  • +2

    Xiaomi has finally taken over OzBargain. Muahahaha.

  • +3

    Haha good work Scotty, I always knew you hated the Chinese and always used passive aggression towards them. Wasn't I last years Aprils fool like something about China too?

    • What is scotty background?
      Fanlun gong Visa holder…

      • I dunno, Malaysian? They tend to hate Chinese people as well.

        • Where did you get this idea from? Don't think you can speak for them. This is absurd!

        • @Pumpkin_rrr:

          Shrugs I dunno his previous family did get killed and raped by the Chinese while escape but I dunno why he hates them. I would love that person that kill my children too

        • @centrelink: do tell us more…

        • @Artofbargain:

          Nah, I just want to be able to stereotype just like everyone else KTHX

  • +4

    MODERATOR: New OzBargain policy… All postings must contain an 8 otherwise they will be removed.

    • Olen pahoillani en puhu Kiinalainen 8

    • dont tell me you 8 your words

  • There's a storm coming, Mr. Wong. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you're all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us

  • Yaaas!

  • -1

    Dim Sim bargains pls

  • ROFL!!!!!!!!

    Best April Fools ever! Thanks guys!!!!

  • Are you OK? Aussie Mifans
    We will give everyone a free Miband!
    ARE YOU OKAY?

    • DO YOU NIKE????

  • And I thought my phone was hacked or something. Nice one, thanks for the surprise :)

  • +1

    I, for one, salute our Benevolent Chinese Overloards.

  • What kind of April fools trick is it ?
    at least leave an option to change the language to english somewhere.
    keep the default to chinese, but give an option to switch.

  • +1

    Nice Joke. But in reality an accurate prediction of things to come.

  • It might as well be since China owns Australia anyway

  • 我的用户名是什么?

    • According to Google translate
      中音麦克风
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