R U OK OzBargainers? (2018)

R U OK?

R U OK? Day is an annual day in September (today, 13/9) dedicated to remind people to ask family, friends and colleagues the question, "R U OK?", in a meaningful way, because connecting regularly and meaningfully is one thing everyone can do to make a difference and even save lives.

We do this every year and it's good to see R U OK? Day doing events all year round and not just September 13. So have these conversations today, next week, next month and throughout the year.


Hot Tip: Medicare provides for 10 free (or subsidised) sessions with a psychologist after a referral from a GP. It's free/cheap so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Most mental health issues are very much treatable with professional help. Trouble is that most of us are too scared, embarrassed, or lack self awareness to seek professional help. If you have a broken foot, most people will have no hesitation in seeking a doctor because we know it can be fixed but for mental health issues (which can be just as well treated) we quietly carry on even though the pain and harm may be 1000 times worse. (credit: Bluberry)


The comments and PMs we received last year are part of why we are proud to support R U OK? Day by changing our colours and promoting their cause.

One of the biggest challenges to OzBargain and other online social media sites (e.g. Instagram, Twitter) is promoting an environment where everyone feels comfortable commenting and discussing issues (or deals). We should all recognise that our comments have consequences both positive and negative. People don't participate on a discussion site to be attacked or bullied. While some people may say 'suck it up' and that people should not be so sensitive, we should be aware that we don't truly know the people behind these accounts. Some are young, some may come to here to escape a tough reality, be mentally unbalanced, or they possibly could have thick skin. We just don't know.

On the flip side, a simple gesture such as thanking someone or sending a friendly PM can go a long way. At the beginning of last year, we made a post about contributing to a more positive OzBargain environment and we've had some great results changing some users behaviour by thinking about the impacts of their words.


Ask family, friends and colleagues how they are doing but don't forget to ask your family of OzBargainers how they are doing and not just today. We have forums where you can discuss relationships or anything else off-topic. Also, if you see any comments where you think the person may be struggling, please report to us and we'll get in touch.

You can also feel free to chat with us in the private Talk with a Moderator forum if you have any OzBargain related issues. Or send me a PM about whatever you want (except moderation issues). Please see our Mental Health Page if you need to speak to someone including live chat.

For confidential advice and support call a crisis support line – such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

:)

Related Stores

R U OK? Day
R U OK? Day

Comments

  • +4 votes
    Merged from R U OK?

    Today is a national day of action dedicated to reminding everyone that any day is the day to ask, β€œAre you ok?”

    What's on your mind? Is something bothering you? Are you OK?

    I've been going through some tough times recently and would love to hear what others have been experiencing.

  • +2 votes
    Merged from R U OK My Fellow OzBargainers?

    R U OK my fellow OZbargainers? A conversation could change a life. Use the Poll.

  • +10 votes

    I've lived with it for almost 40 years and I can tell you that it doesn't go away. You just have to take it one day at a time.

  • +11 votes

    Love how OzBargain gets behind this each year :)
    Hope everyone is doing great! :D

  • +9 votes

    Huge improvement, I commented within the last year or so about what my head space was like.
    Still not 100%, but much better.

    cbf trying to find my old comment on the subject.

  • +6 votes

    Searching on "Are you OK"
    Brings me to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRU-fwS6aAU

    LOL

    Are you OK?

  • +21 votes

    Hot Tip: Medicare provides for 10 free (or subsidised) sessions with a psychologist after a referral from a GP(health.gov.au). It's free/cheap so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    Except if you get stuck with a weirdo. Not all psychologists are created equal.

    I gave up talking to my GP about my mental health. They always want to push pills onto you and when you ask if there are other approaches they treat you as if you are being a difficult patient. As if not wanting to be forever on pills is an unreasonable concern.

    I increased my exercise, gave away junk food, cut my alcohol down considerably and I think all of those things helped me more than any pill would have. I know some people need medication but I have a feeling it is often used as the first option as opposed to a last resort.

    • +2 votes

      That's a shame that's the experience you had. My GP was really good at listening to me and recognising that medication was not the right approach very quickly. She recommended me a psychologist who specialised in the areas that I struggle with. For anyone else with the same problems as you had Chewy Chunks, maybe book yourself in at a GP that specialises in mental health. heres a guide I found https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/default-source/fac...

      • +7 votes

        I appreciate the effort but I fear my personal situation isn't something anyone could help me with, besides listening to me complain, which I wouldn't find helpful.

        I am a full time carer for a sick relative who has dementia which means I basically have no social life, I rarely get to indulge hobbies (I am into photography), I can't do any amount of useful study (I'd like to formally study photography) & I am constantly anxious about what the future holds for the relative I am caring for.

        I can't really change my situation without entirely abandoning the person I am caring for. That's simply not an option.

        I cope by reminding myself "it could be worse". Time will tell how long that strategy is effective.

        • +3 votes

          I entered this thread to post something like "I really cannot handle it today, or this week, if some vague associate in my life were to ask me if I'm ok" but the morbid reality of your post has somewhat sobered me up from the depression spiral I was in. I'm going to go back to bed. So thanks for that and god bless you.

        • +3 votes

          You may have already looked into these things, but sometimes there are respite options and in home services that might be able to take a bit of pressure off and give you some time t look after your needs. Usually an aged care assessment needs to be done first.

        • +8 votes

          it's really hard caring for a sick relative. it consumes your life.

          Have you investigated what services are available to you? If you haven't already, please visit MyAgedCare https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/ and see if they can assess your relative and help explain what services and options are available to help you out.

          Depending on the assessment, you may be eligible for free/subsidised help. It's really important. We have someone come for a few hours x 2 times per week to care for my dad to give my mum a break for just $20. Even if you just organised one full day for $20 a week/fortnight/month (depending on how sensitive you are to the cost), it will help you tremendously.

          They can even organise for someone to help with grocery shopping, or organisations that offer "friend/buddies" to come visit. Social interaction and engagement is fundamental for mental health!

          It's a hard situation that we're in now with my dad as well. I want to put him in a home but no one else is ready yet. But everyone's lives are consumed by him (esp my mum) and it's not right or healthy. So I empathise with you and I hope you can find a way to be kind to yourself while not feeling like you've abandoned your relative.

        •  

          Everyone's different. All the best

    •  

      Well done mate:)

    •  

      you are out of pocket for most of them. can't find any that bulk bill in melbourne

  • +3 votes

    Medicare provides for 10 free (or subsidised) sessions with a psychologist after a referral from a GP

    Should be posted as a deal.

  • +1 vote

    Wish there was a better way of finding a good psychologist or a counsellor to help my partner who suffers from severe anxiety and depression. The last few ones she saw were not helpful at all and left her into tears by the end of the session. From what I've seen from people suffering from mental illnesses, the system has let them down.

    • +6 votes

      The mental healthcare system is a joke. Having the money for private healthcare, the willingness to participate and persist, and subjecting yourself to being a guinea pig to various medications is still not enough for everyone to get help. Also I could go the rest of my life just a little happier without someone suggesting I try meditating again.

    •  

      100% Agreed, I think the only path I can down now is medication but the last GP I saw wouldn't do anything for me, treated me like this doesn't exist, had a panic attack at the doctors and basically was told to leave, garbage system.

    • +5 votes

      I don't like to rag on mental health professionals. Their job is honestly hard enough and I certainly wouldn't do it for any amount of money. Hope your partner's doing better, but the first thing that needs to happen is honestly the person needs to buy-in to treatment, whether it be regular visits or otherwise.

      From what I've seen from people suffering from mental illnesses, the system has let them down.

      The "system" is there to help. It's not perfect, but that's because we just don't have a cure for mental illness. Keep at it - one psychologist's approach might work where others haven't. Good luck.

  • +4 votes

    No, I'm iforgotmysocks

  • +7 votes

    There is no point in asking are you ok, if you asked because its the day then have no commitment to actually helping them thats the cruelest thing you could possibly do… They start to rely on you because they opened upto you but then you decided that it was to hard, you gota be in it for the long haul or you will wreck them more.

    • +2 votes

      It's kinda sad isn't it, especially for the 'initial sufferers' if you will. You either suffer alone with no one to talk to, or you become a liability to one of the few people you might think you could trust enough to speak out towards to. Hell, you might even think that if it weren't for the R U OK day, you wouldn't have taken advantage of another's kindness and time. Perhaps that's just a pessimistic perspective on things. But when the only thing I've been getting is 'don't worry things will always get better' or 'just change it's not that hard' when no change from their own selves has been effected, it's difficult to say the least.

      • +4 votes

        If you ever wanna talk mate just message, sometimes you dont need "fix yourself" just someone to listen and actually understand.

      • +1 vote

        That's what good friends are for - you might be a burden to them, but only in the same way they're probably a burden on you sometimes too. No one is 100% all 100% of the time.

        Anyway, feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to. Open standing offer to anyone really - I'm on this site enough as it is, doing far less productive things than helping people.

    • +1 vote

      Helping someone doesn't mean taking on all their burdens, it could be something small like playing a coop video game with them for half an hour. While I get what your saying about the responsibility of not engaging someone if you have no intentions of helping, the person who needs help has a responsibility to be realistic about it too. People aren't gonna rebuild your whole life for you, but they are usually willing to help you lay a few of the bricks.

    •  

      You're 100% right, it's not just about asking if they are ok, it's about finding people who aren't ok and supporting them.

    •  

      I think you make a very good point. I would never discourage people from discussing their mental health but I am not sure if asking people R U OK is the right style of awareness campaign. If you lead someone to believe you want to hear their problems only to blow them off when it is inconvenient or you realise their issues are more confronting than you anticipated (e.g. suicidal ideation) it could do more harm than good.

      One reason why people with mental illness often conceal it is because they don't want to upset others but if they are convinced to speak up only to be alienated or abandoned then they are likely worse than where they started.

      Even though my experience with professionals has been hit and miss I would still advocate people see a professional because, well, they are professionals who have training and what you tell them is confidential. If you don't like their method you can find another one. If you tell your mate your problems and his/her reaction is bad it could cause all sorts of issues.

  • +4 votes

    How do I reboot life?

  •  

    The comments and PMs we received last year are part of why we are proud to support R U OK? Day by changing our colours and promoting their cause.

    Not changing colours this year?

    Edit: Seems like the front page has changed, but not every page.

  • +7 votes

    Thank you OzBargain for supporting this.

  • +12 votes

    Why are people dropping jokes in the comment section.
    I'm all for jokes on most of the deals pages but these are just careless and make getting support for this stuff seem like a joke.

    • +4 votes

      Perhaps a deflection as they're in fact not OK

      • +4 votes

        Just about to say this, some people not going to say they are not ok when you asked them that, and for other, you just have to ask them so many time, take me mate, Annie for example. I had to ask her so many times.

    • +1 vote

      They're getting negged so I guess most people agree with you - but part of the problem of depression is everyone treating it like a huge thing and treating people who experience it like they're a different breed and going all sombre. That doesn't help. People with depression are people first - you know, with their senses of humour intact and all, and depressed second.

      It's a serious topic, but comedy is used to deal with and explore and allow for discussions of, serious topics all the time.

      The quality of the jokes here though… .eh that's another issue.

  • +2 votes

    I'm ok.

  • +5 votes

    Did you know, the word OK originates from the word "Oll Korrect" which is a spelling variation of the term "All Correct"?

    • +5 votes

      No, I didn't.

      Always wondered why OK was capitalised as it's not an acronym of okay.

      OK originates from the word "Oll Korrect

      Ru Oll Korrect?

  • +1 vote

    No

    support R U OK? Day by changing our colours

    if I didn't read that I wouldn't have even noticed because i don't ever look at the ozb homepage

  • -1 vote

    Shout out to stormii and mskeggs R U OK?

  • +2 votes

    No, no direction in life

  • +6 votes

    No, no direction in life failed to make it as an engineer. Live at home with parents I'm an adult child

    • +1 vote

      same here, I'm living with auntie and grandparents.

      • +3 votes

        I don't know if this helps but my closest friend was unable to make it as an engineer.He failed the same subject 4 times and was booted out of uni. After years working odd jobs he went back to Uni and did really well in a nursing degree and did well in a nursing career and he loves it. (Also the male/female ratio of his course made meeting a nice girl (9/10) to marry much easier for him). Maybe your experience as an engineer is a step to something pretty special. Sometimes what is right for you is something completely different to what you were planning.

        • +1 vote

          I can relate. I originally studied Engineering and wasn't so good at it. Switched over to IT and haven't looked back.

    • +1 vote

      Mate I do not know your exact circumstances.
      However, it is never too late to do anything. You can still try and be anyone you want.

  • +2 votes

    I quite dig the yellow and black theme .. very nicey!
    should make it permanent.

  • +4 votes

    If you're aged 25 or under and looking for a psychologist, I can highly recommend going to Headspace - I was referred there by my GP and I've had (mostly) positive experiences with them.
    Was given 8 free sessions before starting my 10 medicare sessions, although they were with different psychologists so after the first 8 sessions I had to start again with a new person which was a little frustrating. As luck would have it, after the next 8 sessions my 2nd psychologist left for a different job so I'm starting new again but overall it's been a positive experience.

    • +2 votes

      On top of that every Headspace centre can be different and offer different services as most of them aren't run by Headspace themselves. They're actually run by different youth organisations with some only running 1 while others have half a dozen.

      Many of them also offer bulk billing GPs who actually know and understand mental health. They're also good for sexual health.

  •  

    Nobody has even asked, but RU OK Neil?

  • +4 votes

    Found this great graphic which may help with conversations:

    image

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