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Bargain 4th Place Ribbons, Pk of 20 for $5

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Bargain 4th Place Ribbons, Pk of 20 for $5
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shmahoo on 15/05/2013 - 16:12 officeworks.com.au (1517 clicks)
Last edited 28/05/2013 - 23:10 by 1 other user

28/5: Now $5

So, you think your under-achieving child has everything?

Well, now you can take advantage of this bargain - only 20 "4th Place" ribbons, which you can give them after they come home from school sports carnivals again empty handed. Technically they are better than "Highly Commended" and the dreaded "Participation" ribbons.

Other uses: For giving the fat kids next door that never win anything

Olympics countries - we know your competitors miss out on anything after Bronze, so why not reward your athletes with these great "4th place" ribbons, which are almost as good as winning the Bronze. Kind of like how the Channel 10 Breakfast show was almost as good as the Channel 7 and 9 breakfast shows.

And for the maths-minded, this bargain works out to be approx 35c per act of condescension

And it has (correctly) been pointed out that you have to factor in delivery costs, but I can help with that. If you buy $50 worth of these demoralising items, you can also save yourself from spending on delivery costs, I think.

Edit - best comment post so far (imho) from tonyjzx "send a pack to mark webber"

Other For Your Underachieving Child

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  • ttwaite on 15/05/2013 - 16:14
    +36

    LOL

    Im going to wear mine to work tomorrow and proudly show the boss.

    • NosDan on 15/05/2013 - 16:19
      +4

      you better have someone filming it and upload it to utube after

      • ttwaite on 15/05/2013 - 19:50
        +48

        UPDATE:

        I GOT FIRED :(

        • shmahoo on 16/05/2013 - 09:04
          +6

          wow - the humour is getting pretty sophisticated on here these days! Fancy two part jokes, with the punchlines delivered the following day, that's why I love ozbargain (and not just coz I'm a tightarse)

    • Mikinoz on 15/05/2013 - 16:36

      You have one already?, may i ask for what? :)

      • shmahoo on 16/05/2013 - 09:25
        +5

        I'm guessing for coming fourth!

        • Mikinoz on 16/05/2013 - 11:48

          and the event was…..

        • tonyjzx on 16/05/2013 - 13:44
          +1

          introduction to seat warming 101

  • Sabs on 15/05/2013 - 16:14
    +58

    Upvote for the description A+++ would read again.

    • MattyD on 15/05/2013 - 17:53

      Yup. Ima green you op for da laughs.

  • 2ndeffort on 15/05/2013 - 16:17
    +14

    Is here anything more PC than a 4th place ribbon!

  • jdr on 15/05/2013 - 16:29

    online only so delivery needs to be considered

  • arend on 15/05/2013 - 16:29
    +2

    Cheaper, and more pathetic, on Ebay!
    http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Gymnastics-Ribbons-4th-5th-6th-Pl…

    $6.95 for 30 ribbons (provided you can attempt Gymnastics)

  • markjd on 15/05/2013 - 16:30
    +69

    "Hey, mum! I finished forth in the spelling competition at school!"

    "It's fourth, darling, fourth."

    • giu on 15/05/2013 - 17:03
      +25

      That would imply he wasn't actually talking to his mum, but writing down notes. But I like the joke anyhow.

      • Jesmond on 15/05/2013 - 18:00
        +26

        He sent his mum a text message.

        • 2ndeffort on 16/05/2013 - 10:14
          +6

          Then it would have read like:

          MUMZ cm 4 on math tst LOLZ!!!

      • PorkHunt on 15/05/2013 - 18:44
        +25

        Took me a few goes to understand this. Pretty sure I deserve one of these ribbons now.

  • PinzVidz on 15/05/2013 - 16:36
    +4

    Kind of like how the Channel 10 Breakfast show was almost as good as the Channel 7 and 9 breakfast shows.

    All 3 shows (and channels) fail on the highest level possible.

    • nephilim on 15/05/2013 - 16:56

      Wasn't the story they were paying that NZ guy on channel 10 1 million dollars a year or something? Weird how a B grade NZ celebrity, can be F grade in Australia.

  • cornbeef on 15/05/2013 - 16:38
    +5

    I'll buy for the australian swimming team

  • mskeggs on 15/05/2013 - 16:40
    +28

    Stings even more in my family with 4 kids. "You are my fourth favourite!"

    • KLoNe on 15/05/2013 - 17:00
      +17

      "I don't care for G.O.B." - Lucile Bluth

      • DaiShan on 15/05/2013 - 19:22

        Best.

    • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2013 - 19:50
      +9

      It'd sting more if there were only 3 kids.

  • jimbojones on 15/05/2013 - 16:42

    Great for encouraging improved behaviour.

    Congratulations! You're not fifth any more!

  • dtc on 15/05/2013 - 16:43
    +1

    I'm going to take some out this Saturday night and pin them on some nice lookers and say "if you are fourth you must go and multiply (with me)".

    Or perhaps put in on my chest and say 'may the fourth be with you' and then sit down next to said looker?

    Reckon that'll work?

    • strangeloops66 on 15/05/2013 - 16:51
      +20

      Oh, it was "lookers" - nevermind, my mistake.

    • Jeremy Dewitte on 15/05/2013 - 17:07
      +7

      If you are going to multiply make sure it's in the next 10 days. Otherwise you will miss out on the baby bonus, because Wayne Swan is scrapping it out from March 1 next year. $5,000 is something no OzBargainer would sneer at.

      • NosDan on 15/05/2013 - 18:38
        +7

        $5,000 is something no OzBargainer would sneer at.

        actually while $5k seems nice a true OzB'er realises you are signing up for an ongoing contract for the next 10+ years and they really end up screwing you in the long run with fees and charges…….

        • canard on 15/05/2013 - 19:37

          From the description:
          "And it has (correctly) been pointed out that you have to factor in delivery costs"
          [… immediately followed by "but I can help with that" ??]

        • halfnhalf71 on 16/05/2013 - 10:25

          Only 10+ years? Wow, harsh. Kick your kid out before he/she gets to high school to avoid the really heavy costs of raising a kid…not sure whether to up or neg that one!

        • NosDan on 16/05/2013 - 11:09
          +1

          actually i made my choice not to have kids, i cant stand the noisy, annoying, expensive things but thats just me…. im more referring to the sort of person who would have a baby because of a $5k "bonus" (the deadbeats etc buying the big screen tv with there new windfall…..)

        • MrDixit on 16/05/2013 - 12:15

          Yeah… have you met one?

    • darthhasbro on 15/05/2013 - 17:34
      +15

      I reckon I know why you're still single

      • everyone on 19/05/2013 - 22:04

        The virginity is strong in this one.

    • inherentchoice on 16/05/2013 - 17:27

      Isn't the commandment to be fruitful and multiply?

      http://biblehub.com/genesis/9-1.htm

  • montorola on 15/05/2013 - 16:44

    This'd make a great valentines day present, you can put this on her and proudly proclaim her as your 'fourth' gf/wife ;)

    "Hey man, is that your new gf?"
    "Yeah man, shes my fourth"

  • WNK on 15/05/2013 - 16:45

    Good post shmahoo

  • TheBMan on 15/05/2013 - 16:51
    +16

    It's actually cheaper to get the:
    1st (http://www.officeworks.com.au/retail/products/School-Supplie…)
    2nd (http://www.officeworks.com.au/retail/products/School-Supplie…) and
    3rd (http://www.officeworks.com.au/retail/products/School-Supplie…) place ribbons.

    All $5 for the same pack of 20.

    • NosDan on 15/05/2013 - 16:57
      +71

      but your description really sucked……

      • cheepwun on 15/05/2013 - 20:48
        +2

        Finding real savings is serious work.

  • teaBagger on 15/05/2013 - 17:08

    If you aint first, you're last (or fourth)

  • tonyjzx on 15/05/2013 - 17:13
    +42

    send a pack to mark webber

    • windsurfer-sp on 15/05/2013 - 17:26
      +1

      I actually recoiled in my chair. Too mean bro.

      • tonyjzx on 15/05/2013 - 18:03
        +3

        he's my favourite driver and i support him of course no matter what but i'm reminded of him this time last year where ironically.. he got 4 x 4ths… in row!

  • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2013 - 17:15
    +2

    I use to love getting these kinds of ribbons back in Sports Day at school. My shirt would just be pinned full of 4th place. Can't believe I bragged about it as well

    • montorola on 15/05/2013 - 17:19

      I was expecting you to be the 4th to comment, but looks like you missed the mark :P

      • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2013 - 17:23

        I was the 64th person to up vote this deal. Does that count?

    • strangeloops66 on 15/05/2013 - 21:40

      School of 4 then?

      • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2013 - 22:22

        Zing!

    • [Deactivated] on 16/05/2013 - 12:15

      So how did life turn out for you then? Still coming fourth?

  • bajillionaire on 15/05/2013 - 17:26
    +1

    Ahh fourth place… the best of the rest.

  • PlasticSpaceman on 15/05/2013 - 17:30
    +2

    Go well with my "Born Looser" tattoo…. [Leunig cartoon reference]

    • strangeloops66 on 15/05/2013 - 21:41
      +3

      Great for someone with chronic diarrhea.

  • ckfun on 15/05/2013 - 18:25

    WOW this is fantastic, now i can throw away my multi pack of gold star stickers i use for when my kids come back from sports day.

  • boretentsu on 15/05/2013 - 18:55

    This is actually not that cheap. I bought some for around $2 at OW before for some activities I was holding. All the first place ribbons were gone though.

    • MattyD on 15/05/2013 - 19:52
      +17

      Because you came second.

      • boretentsu on 15/05/2013 - 20:10
        +3

        Well played =(

  • epicaricacy on 15/05/2013 - 19:53
    -2

    not a bargain. I'm a Phys Ed teacher, and this is pretty expensive. no way would we spend that much on kids that are basically not very good.

    • chubbyguts on 15/05/2013 - 20:07
      -1

      I hope you never teach my kids. Getting 4th is good. Even if there is only 4 kids in the race

      • danyool on 15/05/2013 - 21:06

        I came third in a triathalon once… there were 3 competitors!

        • shmahoo on 16/05/2013 - 11:12
          +14

          I came third in a threesome once, and yet don't feel like I lost

        • NosDan on 16/05/2013 - 13:24
          +1

          no you still lose because it only happened in your dreams ;)

          3rd with only one person? epic fail :P

        • cornbeef on 16/05/2013 - 21:38

          technically he may have come fourth if he was speaking of a threesome in third person whilst sitting naked on a chair in the corner. "You go shmahoo!"

        • dealman on 29/05/2013 - 18:36

          Well if he "came" I guess he can count that as a win.

      • epicaricacy on 22/05/2013 - 02:29

        sense of humor much?

    • boretentsu on 15/05/2013 - 20:11
      +2

      I agree with epi but don't want to hijack this thread with that conversation.

      • shmahoo on 15/05/2013 - 20:19

        I would expect schools and little aths clubs etc to have a cheaper way of getting these (in bulk perhaps). This may or may not be a bargain, but it was posted primarily for me to try and write an (allegedly) humourous post along with posting the "bargain".
        So I agree with epicaricacy :)

      • Third_Gear on 15/05/2013 - 21:41
        +1

        I agree with epi also and yeah… too much can be said on this matter. Fun post OP!

    • strangeloops66 on 15/05/2013 - 21:43

      Sums up the whole public education system really.

    • f38r1 on 30/05/2013 - 15:42

      Agree. Stop building weak generation.
      You don't get 3rd place, you lose, admit it, be strong and live with it.
      Next time you'll be better and get number 1. :)

  • niksrulz on 15/05/2013 - 20:37

    Damm it . I did 3 orders using different cards and now gotta provide them verification for all of them.. Bit of hassle really. Why didn't I chose paypal ?

    • strangeloops66 on 15/05/2013 - 21:45
      +2

      Because it was your fourth choice.

  • f38r1 on 15/05/2013 - 21:36
    -4

    The fifth should be cheaper and a bargain

    • f38r1 on 16/05/2013 - 09:32
      -6

      Why neg me?

    • f38r1 on 30/05/2013 - 15:44

      Won't do much difference, 4th or 5th, both loser.

  • daydream on 15/05/2013 - 22:36
    +1

    5th place is the new 4th place now ;-)

  • jinroh on 15/05/2013 - 23:00
    +6

    This is a trophy every season for Arsene Wenger :P

    For all EPL fans here (perhaps excluding Arsenal fans).

    • jc8 on 15/05/2013 - 23:05
      +1

      Wenger would kill for fourth at this stage!

    • DaiShan on 16/05/2013 - 19:53
      +1

      lolol…laughing even though I'm a gooner

  • Lord Fart Bucket on 16/05/2013 - 06:01

    4th place ribbons more expensive than 1st, 2nd or 3rd?
    http://www.officeworks.com.au/retail/products/School-Supplie…

    • 2ndeffort on 16/05/2013 - 10:15
      +2

      Because in this brave new PC world 4th IS the new 1st

    • jahnks on 16/05/2013 - 15:00

      Maybe Officeworks needs to receive one of these ribbons to encourage them to do better on the pricing

      • cornbeef on 16/05/2013 - 21:39
        +1

        they sold most to dick smith who then distributed one pack to each store except shepparton.

        pick up only.

  • cpl123 on 16/05/2013 - 07:59

    Love the Officeworks description "Great for encouraging improved behaviour".
    "Well done, honey, you've improved so much. Here, have a 4th place ribbon". Your kid will be thinking "I don't want a f*kn 4th place ribbon".

    • strangeloops66 on 18/05/2013 - 10:39

      Today's kids won't just think it!

  • PumaPants on 16/05/2013 - 08:54

    Buy a pack.

    Stand on a street with high foot traffic.

    Hand out ribbons.

    "May the 4th be with you."

    • jahnks on 16/05/2013 - 14:57
      +1

      That only works one day a year on 4 May

  • Sirocco on 16/05/2013 - 11:01
    -4

    Not a bargain

    • blablabla23 on 16/05/2013 - 11:13
      +6

      i bet you're really fun at parties.

      • shmahoo on 16/05/2013 - 12:05

        would he/she get invited?

    • berger on 16/05/2013 - 11:21
      +2

      find a better price please, instead of just saying its not a bargain

    • [Deactivated] on 16/05/2013 - 12:16

      At what price would you go crazy mad and buy all of them?

    • user27 on 16/05/2013 - 15:24

      279 people say you're wrong

  • weezlebub on 16/05/2013 - 11:20

    well, if the missus gives you one for coming fourth in the bedroom … that'd be a positive thing … although you wouldn't want it pinned anywhere post coitus (unless you had an immense matt of chest hair)

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